CHAPTER SEVENTEEN #3
‘Deep breaths. The interview will be over before you know it. Then you can leave this behind.’ She caught my next tear with her setting brush.
‘It’s hard feeling like you have no control over your strength.
We’re always expected to be strong, aren’t we?
’ She leaned in. ‘But let me tell you a secret my mother told me: you’re allowed to be soft. ’
My breath caught. I didn’t have time to reply, fanning my eyes furiously as Ms Powers appeared.
‘We’re ready. Hmmm, do you have any of those gold-ringed contacts to make her look like she has oculsight? Stock investors eat that up – Carriers investing in our partners.’
I snorted. ‘That’s a twenty-thousand-dollar surgery. It’d take the average Pain Carrier almost a year to save up for that. It wouldn’t make sense for me to already have it.’
Ms Powers pursed her lips. ‘Never mind. Let’s just go.’
The family room had been turned into a mini set, complete with three-point lighting, new décor, and velvet fabric draped over our couches to hide generations of wear.
Mr Fox stood in the corner, his grandson still home, oblivious under his communication blackout.
Had Cas even tried to leave? He hadn’t tried to call or reach out.
Mr Fox smiled his grandson’s smile. I didn’t react, numbness creeping back in.
I needed a mask for this interview if I was going to survive it.
I stepped carefully over taped-down cords and sat, letting Ms Powers adjust my posture, my gaze fixed on the floor.
She lifted my chin and my eyes flicked past the camera to Daddy. Leo stood with him, Skye on his arm.
My heart bloomed in my chest. ‘You took her out of school?’
‘It’s a big moment for you,’ said Leo. ‘You know she’d want to see how brave you are.’
‘You look beautiful,’ said Skye. ‘Like those old-school pictures of Mommy.’
‘I do, don’t I?’
‘Let’s get a few photos of Nova alone.’ I recognized Yvonne Meadows’s voice. She stood off to the side, her burnt-orange dress playing beautifully with her complexion. I faked a smile as the camera flashed.
‘Good.’ Mrs Meadows took a seat across from me. ‘Now we’ll get started. This will be a print piece, but we’ll film for any possible clips that could go viral – excuse my pun. Ready?’
I glanced one last time at Daddy.
‘Say the word and I’ll kick everyone out,’ he whispered.
I smirked. My family was my strength, and I was theirs. ‘I’m ready.’
‘I’m here with Nova Williams – Pain Carrier to Castor Fox, college student, artist, daughter and sister.
She joins me in part two of my exclusive interview series marking the one hundred and fiftieth solar flare anniversary, where I speak to Givers and Carriers of helical disease.
She’s a true hero, graciously agreeing to shoulder this burden for Castor Fox.
We applaud her – and all Pain Carriers across generations. ’
My smile tightened, and I stole a glance at Skye. She looked so proud.
‘Thank you, Mrs Meadows,’ I said, my voice above a whisper. Another camera flashed.
Mrs Meadows followed my gaze. ‘Let’s talk about your family.
Before becoming a Pain Carrier, you weren’t only a full-time student at South Alta Community College, but a server at the local favorite Caféology, helmed by chef-owner Stephen DeBar.
With your disabled father unable to work and your brother recently affected by the Solis Sky Tower construction layoffs, you were the rock holding up your family.
In between shifts and classes, you painted a mural celebrating your community – all while making it home in time for your little sister after school.
You’re a testament to the resilience and high pain threshold of Carriers everywhere.
Tell us, did your sister’s pain from sickle cell inspire you to help the Foxes in their time of need? ’
The only reason my jaw wasn’t on the floor and I wasn’t cussing out this lady was because Skye was watching. Daddy cleared his throat, but I couldn’t look at him or Leo.
This was an invasion of my life on a level I couldn’t comprehend.
She’d turned my family’s struggles into a sound bite.
The focus was meant to be Cas and me. I drew a shaky breath, trying to steady myself.
I was doing this for my family, but did that mean I had to lose myself along the way?
And I was so tired of being strong. That was the narrative Mrs Meadows had framed: choosing to be strong for Cas as just another day in my not-chaotic life.
I had no choice in my resilience. I had to be strong – so many in my community did.
We had to lift up Alta Bay. There was so much irony in my realization.
I’d painted an entire mural to represent this and still hadn’t fully understood it.
I didn’t want to be strong. I wanted to just be.
‘I think we can leave my family out of our conversation,’ I said carefully.
‘They haven’t consented to their stories and lives being dissected for the purpose of this interview.
’ I smiled a manufactured smile, the same one I’d seen Cas use in his interview.
‘I’d like this moment not to be about me.
I’m not that strong. Just a soft girl from South Alta. ’
Out of the corner of my eye, I caught Skye grinning. I winked her way.
‘I see.’ Yvonne flipped through her notes. ‘Well, luckily this isn’t live, so Albert can edit as he sees fit.’ She rushed through a few questions about how Cas and I met, then pivoted to my mural and what it meant to me to be a Pain Carrier.
‘Pain Carriers are the reason the world still spins. Without us, those who can’t handle their pain would never become the innovators, thinkers and revolutionaries they are.
I help make that possible. I play a part in holding up my community.
’ Regardless of the emotions I’d rollercoastered through in the last few hours, the way I felt about Pain Carriers hadn’t changed.
We held up everything, and everyone at the top.
That was a fact. I kept what I really wanted to say to myself: you’d fall without us.
‘That was a beautiful answer,’ Mrs Meadows said. ‘Although we may need to adjust the “who can’t handle their pain” phrasing to something a little more politically correct.’ She leaned back. ‘I think I have everything I need,’ she concluded as Albert Fox stepped out from the corner of the room.
I stayed seated as they spoke around me.
It was done. I was done. Across the room, my notebook peeked out from behind a side table, final notices sticking out between the pages.
I’d forgotten to put it away. Last week, Leo and I had taken turns writing PAID in thick red letters across every bill we’d cleared.
We’d celebrated the first steps toward our six-month plan to being debt-free.
I thought I understood how much it would cost us – me.
I was wrong. My hands trembled as the adrenaline of the interview faded.
‘Thank you again.’ Mr Fox shook Mrs Meadows’s hand. ‘Tell Marcus he’s due for another eighteen holes. I need a rematch now that my handicap is down.’
‘I will. He owes you a win after you matched him with his Pain Carrier last year. In less than twelve hours? That must be a record,’ she said.
‘Just another day for the Freedom System,’ said Mr Fox.
After a few air kisses with Ms Powers, Mrs Meadows left. Mr Fox shared his thanks with my family, and I braced myself when he turned to me.
‘You spoke so eloquently. All that remains is the appreciation gala this Sunday. The timing is perfect. Dominion recognizing the Pain Carriers of Alta Bay will complete the narrative shift. After that, my family won’t trouble you again.
And you’ll remain Castor’s Pain Carrier. I’ll sign those payments myself.’
I didn’t like the sparkle in his eye. It reminded me of Cas.
Cas. I’d pushed him so far from my mind. Now I pictured his laugh, his kisses, how safe I’d felt in his presence. His grandfather’s charming grin shattered all of that.
‘Thank you, Mr Fox,’ I said at last. ‘I’ll hold you to that, if that’s OK.’
His grin widened and he extended his hand. ‘What am I, if not a man of my word?’ He shook on it. ‘Oh, and Ms Williams?’
‘Yes?’
‘Your file indicates you returned to the Crestview Labs and requested a follow-up with Dr Janus. The nurses believed it related to some discomfort?’
I stilled. ‘Did they?’ I kept my face neutral. I’d already lived through the consequences of breaking one of Dominion’s precious NDAs – one that hadn’t been my fault. For the second time today, I had to shrink myself. If I told the truth, the Pain Carrier payments would stop.
Mr Fox searched my eyes. I was dancing to his tune, again.
I rubbed my scar. ‘My incision site.’ I cleared my throat. ‘Sorry, my incision site itched longer than anticipated. It’s better now. I barely notice I’m your grandson’s Pain Carrier.’
Mr Fox flashed an amused smile. ‘Our family is lucky to have you. Strong and resilient. That’s that South Alta blood.’
I grinned, the perfect marionette, Dominion holding my strings. ‘The city thrives on it.’