CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Castor
I ran six miles this morning, thinking fresh air and a good playlist would clear my thoughts.
Before that, it was extreme breath holds and repeatedly slamming a medicine ball way harder than I needed to.
I was two weeks away from the AB Cup – the competition that was supposed to change my life – but it didn’t matter.
Nothing could erase the memories of last night, or the truth. Nova can feel my pain.
And she wasn’t the only Pain Carrier suffering from their Pain Giver’s helical disease. Almost every test and screening has the potential for false positives – but this many, in Alta Bay alone? Did Dominion know? Did my mom? Grandfather?
I couldn’t stop picturing Nova smiling through her hellflares during our date at Spa Hebe.
She’d kissed me while feeling my disease under her skin.
Then, at the town hall, when I asked if she could feel her flares, she’d gritted her teeth and said no.
I saw it then – the wall behind her eyes, pleading for me not to ask again.
Deep down, I knew she was lying, but I couldn’t accept that truth.
Done with my workout, I showered with the water as hot as I could stand, as though it could burn away my guilt.
I’d thought about reaching out to Nova, but our text thread had switched to user unavailable, graying out my ability to contact her.
I wouldn’t be surprised if she’d blocked or deleted my number.
I’d missed so much happening around me. I felt like everyone else knew the truth about something, and I was the only one in the dark.
Meeting Nova, and seeing how she moved through the world, had opened my eyes to a reality I wasn’t prepared for.
Life under the glassways was fake: manufactured smiles pretending to care, tinted SPF hiding pain.
How many Pain Carriers were already in my life, without my knowing?
And how many of them hid their false positives, like Nova – not out of greed, but necessity. Losing their payments wasn’t an option.
I planted myself on the couch, solisTablet in hand.
Classes were canceled after an early morning protest on campus turned violent.
I’d planned to surf with Pua, but my curiosity consumed me.
I typed question after question into the search engine, swiping through page after page, reading every Pain Carrier forum I could find.
Did your family and their Freedom System lie to me? Nova’s voice pierced my thoughts.
But no matter how deep I dug, I couldn’t find the lie.
‘No records of false positives found,’ Centaurus chimed again through my holoscreen.
Our society was built on Dominion’s success with disease transference.
Pain Carriers couldn’t feel the pain. Not the way Pain Givers did.
If they could, all of this would be wrong.
It’d be modern-day servitude, abuse at the highest level.
But if there were more of these false positives – forced into silence by NDAs or sheer financial need – then the Freedom System wasn’t benevolent.
It preyed on those desperate enough for a paycheck to ignore their own suffering.
It explained the opioid abuse in cities with high Pain Carrier participation.
People drowning their pain with Dominion’s perceta or something stronger.
Pain Carriers weren’t supposed to need anything more than nervxs.
I shook my head. Dominion couldn’t know.
Grandfather wouldn’t allow that. I thought about our trip to the MidCity–South Alta limits.
How much it meant to him to get as far away from there as possible, and to make sure he and his family never went back.
That was where he’d built the first opioid treatment center.
He wouldn’t support a system that trapped other families in cycles of addiction and dependence.
‘Aghhh!’ A ragged exhale tore out of me as yet another forum turned up nothing.
‘Knock, knock.’
I rubbed my hands over my face, blinking frustration from my eyes.
Jacinta walked in, my post-workout smoothie in her hand.
She was dressed for a day of shopping on Mercé Boulevard – fitted designer jeans and a flowing silk top – her preferred way to unwind after any gala where she’d been forced to air-kiss people she hated.
She pushed her oversized shades up on to her forehead and handed me the drink. ‘I waited in the kitchen for you. I figured you were avoiding me, as usual – but after hearing that yell …’
I took a sip and ignored the comment.
‘You actually made me a smoothie?’ I asked.
‘Stars, no. I had Perla do it while the new chef took notes.’ She waved it off.
‘I wanted to make sure you’re aligned with the family regarding your Pain Carrier.
No more contact, as she requested.’ Jacinta tilted her head, assessing me.
‘You’ve been sulking since the appreciation ceremony.
What happened? Did she dump you now she has everything she needs? ’
My stomach twisted.
‘I knew it,’ she continued. ‘As soon as Grandfather told me how quickly she agreed to the money, I worried it’d been her plan all along – to exploit your infatuation. We still don’t know who called the photographers or leaked the story.’
‘You’re not serious.’ My face tightened. ‘You think she has some secret contact inside the Freedom System? Come on, now. Be real.’
Jacinta shrugged. ‘Maybe that was a leap. Still, you’re too kind. You only see the good in people and miss their flaws.’
A muscle ticced in my jaw. ‘I’m not talking to you about Nova.’
‘I noticed how rude she was last night,’ Jacinta continued.
‘And I caught that little moment in her speech – positioning Pain Carriers above Pain Givers.’ She sighed.
‘She would’ve held you back and I’d never allow that.
You can return to dating the usual Fox standard.
Now that I know a little more about your taste, I have someone in mind.
A family friend has a daughter your age in Baldwin Hills.
A nice, affluent Black community. You remember the Cartiers? ’
It was astonishing how easily she slipped back into controlling my life. Here she was again, ready to force another choice on me.
‘OK, Jacinta. Sounds lovely,’ I said, scrolling through another forum without looking up. I didn’t have the energy for her. Not after everything I knew – or was close to knowing.
My fingers hovered over the holoscreen.
I could ask her.
I hesitated, unsure if I wanted the answer. What if she confirmed everything Nova had said?
Wasn’t that what I was looking for?
Jacinta glanced down her nose, deciding whether she was satisfied with my response. ‘As long as you agree.’ She turned to leave.
‘Wait.’
I set my tablet aside. What she’d said about Nova’s speech stuck with me.
If Pain Carriers could feel helical disease, then they should be above Pain Givers.
Even if they couldn’t – their sacrifice was everything, and for what?
A rich person’s comfort? I remembered that man at the town hall, looming over me, hate in his eyes.
‘There were a few protestors outside the Zenith last night,’ I said, trying to sound casual.
I’d never asked her directly about any of the research and development she oversaw, but I needed to know this.
‘Was there anything in Dominion’s research about Pain Carriers being able to feel helical disease with the same intensity as Pain Givers?
Do the tolerance screenings produce false positives? ’
She laughed. ‘That’s absurd. Do you think the Freedom System would exist if that were possible? We aren’t monsters.’
‘No, you’re right,’ I said slowly. I didn’t believe my family was capable of something that evil.
But I also didn’t believe Nova – or anyone else – was lying.
Maybe the flaw existed inside the Freedom System without Jacinta or Grandfather knowing.
A testing error. Researchers burying the results rather than facing my family’s wrath.
‘But people are questioning Dominion’s integrity.
Ours too. It got me wondering why. Maybe there’s something happening we don’t know about? ’
Jacinta’s expression changed – the smile left by her laugh dropped into a thin line.
‘It sounds like you’ve spent too much time on that girl’s side of town.
’ Her voice cooled. ‘You should be careful taking anything those people say seriously. They’re lucky they haven’t been charged with defamation.
Your grandfather and I have tried to be generous – the amount of philanthropy we pour into that community.
He’s even pushing the Whits to extend the glassways.
Without us, they’d be at the mercy of their poverty and without their precious Pain Carrier payments.
Without the opioid treatment centers we fund, the new medications we’re advancing, the clinical trials for natural carriers down there – South Alta would be nothing but a neighborhood of addicts. ’
I swallowed the flash of anger at the tip of my tongue. ‘Like where Grandfather is from?’
She raised a brow. ‘He finally told you? He did everything in his power for us to rise above that. We can’t help people who don’t help themselves.’
Heat unfurled under my skin, climbing my neck. The only reason South Alta is full of addicts is because helical disease doesn’t discriminate, but Dominion’s Freedom System does. It only benefits those who can afford to be Pain Givers. We had the privilege. Just like Nova said. I had the privilege.
I stood and made my way around Jacinta. ‘I’m late for my surf with Pua,’ I muttered.
She followed. ‘Castor.’
I ignored her.
‘Castor Jace.’
I stopped. ‘Since stepping into my room, you’ve talked shit about Nova, Pain Carriers and half of Alta Bay. I’m not going to sit here and listen to that.’