CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
Nova
I need you.
I read Cas’s text again. He hadn’t said more, only those three words. I paced the family room, tried calling him, FaceStream, texting. He wasn’t answering. I grew nervous – something had to be wrong.
I half considered tracking down his friends via their socials, getting them to help me figure out what was going on. As soon as I picked up my phone again, tires screeched outside. I’d heard that sound before.
I opened the door just as Cas slammed his. He’d parked his campervan in a rush, the front passenger tire halfway up the curb. He was an hour early. And he was in tears.
I dropped my phone. He finally broke.
Cas didn’t walk to me, he ran, lifting me into the tightest hug.
‘I’m here. I’m here,’ I whispered. My feet off the ground, I wrapped my legs around his waist. I wasn’t letting go until he did. I told myself I’d be there when he needed me. I wouldn’t make him go through this alone.
He muffled his scream in the crook of my neck.
A few hours ago, he’d been on top of the world. Total bliss when he emerged from that barrel, the sun warming his face. He didn’t need the third wave – he’d already won – but his last surf had been perfect. Something must’ve happened when he got home.
I kissed the tears on his cheeks. ‘What happened, Castor Cas?’
He set me down. ‘I’m sorry. This was the only place I felt I could come.’ His voice cracked. ‘I haven’t talked to Jaiden and Pua about Dominion or the cure. But even if I had, you were the person I thought of first. I needed a place, a person, to make me feel safe.’ A sad smile formed on his lips.
‘We can talk about whatever it is.’ I nodded toward the couch and waited for him to speak next. He sat and dug his palms in his eyes. It hurt to watch him. I didn’t know what to do other than be there, but I felt that was all he needed.
‘Everything fell apart so fast,’ he said softly. ‘The receiver blinked when I got out the shower. I knew we already had what we needed, but I got curious.’ His leg bounced with nerves. ‘Not only did my family hide a cure, they’re activating helical disease in people on purpose.’
I gasped. Every new reveal felt like our world had shifted into an alternate universe. This wasn’t enough for them, creating a society where Pain Carriers were fodder for the rich. The Foxes – Dominion – needed more. They did nothing but take, when we had nothing left to give. It disgusted me.
‘I don’t understand. Why? Don’t enough people already have it? And who would they even want to do that to?’
He lifted his head. His eyes were rimmed red, and I immediately knew.
No. No, no, no.
They wouldn’t do that to their blood. His grandfather adored him. Jacinta too, in her own way. Nevertheless, his family gave him the most twisted gift. I covered my mouth, holding back a sob. I’m wrong. I have to be wrong.
‘My family used both of us for a PR stunt,’ he said.
‘I’ve tried not to think too hard about why they didn’t cure me if they knew how.
Turns out, Gemma’s B12x shots are laced with some formula that activates helical disease.
They needed a big story to increase Pain Carrier sign-ups and boost their stock.
I guess they found a way to isolate the solar anomaly from hellflares, or maybe they reconstructed it in a lab.
I don’t even know if Gemma’s aware of the part she played. ’
My heart broke for him. It shattered, the pain shooting through every cell in my body. I didn’t know what to say. His family had used him, far worse than they had ever used me. They’d treated him like property, a prop for Dominion. They risked his health, his life.
‘I’m so sorry to hear that, Castor.’ Daddy stepped in from the hallway, Skye behind him. I’d forgotten they were home. Skye ran straight to Cas, throwing her arms around him. I joined the two of them and he sank into us as if we were his lifeline.
His family had taken from both of us. He hadn’t asked to be a Pain Giver; his family had orchestrated it, like they had almost every part of his life and the lives of millions.
It was a win–win for them. Either he gave up his pain for surfing and became a poster boy for the Freedom System, this generation’s Thom Westlake with me as this generation’s Lucille B.
Anarcha, or he kept his pain, giving up surfing and becoming entirely dependent on the comfortable life only being a Fox could provide him. His family had everything they wanted.
Daddy pulled Cas to him. ‘Let it out,’ he said, patting his back. And Cas did, tears flowing freely over his cheeks.
I couldn’t stop thinking that, when this was over, I’d still have my family.
Watching Cas with Daddy, I knew Cas would still have me.
This had grown beyond a cure. It was both of us reclaiming our lives.
And we’d do it. We were a part of each other, stuck together from the moment we entered the Freedom System, perhaps before that.
‘I’m sorry,’ said Cas, coming up for air. ‘This is my fault, Nova.’
I shook my head. ‘No. No more apologies. You have nothing to apologize for.’
‘But your hellflares … If my family hadn’t activated my helical disease, you –’
‘She would’ve had a different Pain Giver,’ Daddy said evenly. ‘One who wouldn’t be willing to take back their pain or take down their family. You fell for a stubborn girl, Castor. She would’ve become a Pain Carrier either way.’
‘My dad’s right. This isn’t your fault.’
Cas tried to smile. ‘You are a stubborn one.’
I shoved him playfully and he caught my arms, pulling me into another hug.
‘Thank you,’ he whispered. ‘After everything I heard, you were the only person I wanted to see. I know things have changed –’
‘Hey, it’s OK,’ I said. ‘I can be that person for you. I want to be your person. I want to be in your life, in whatever space I can fill, whatever you need.’
Cas cupped my face and pressed his forehead to mine. I didn’t fight the pull between us. It was becoming clear what we were to each other: the one who held the other up when the world was too heavy. Even through his hurt, Cas wasn’t letting me go, and neither would I.
The front door opened, and Leo and Estelle walked in. Estelle’s eyes darted from me to Cas, Cas to Daddy, Daddy to Cas.
Skye jumped up and grabbed Estelle’s hand. ‘You’re just in time. I think Castor is about to kiss Nova in front of Daddy. He’s braver than we thought.’
‘Skye!’ Daddy and I said together.
‘What did we miss?’ said Leo.
‘A lot,’ I answered. ‘But it’s Cas’s story to tell.’
‘OK. Well, Apollo should be here soon. He finished coding the virtual simulation. Did your friend who is standing too close to you bring his holo gaming deck?’ Leo slipped off his shoes and sprayed his feet, sticking out his tongue at me.
‘My game rig is in the campervan.’ Cas cleared his throat.
‘I did have one thing I wanted to change about our plans … I know your contact – Apollo? – planned to use his ghost networks to post everything tonight. Tomorrow is the election, and my grandfather is hosting Stanley Whit’s election party.
It’ll stream live across NBN – national coverage. ’
I backed up, quirking a brow. ‘Wait. Are you thinking – Really?’
Estelle frowned. ‘I don’t have whatever ESP you two have formed.’
Cas’s lips curved. ‘We hijack the feed. That is, if Apollo can do it.’
‘Of course I can do it.’ Apollo appeared in the open doorway.
‘You kids have really reinvented “good trouble”,’ said Daddy.
My heart swelled. Exposing Dominion on national television. No one could silence us. No one could deny us. I grinned, my cheeks burning. ‘We’d have to hold off on the reveal for one night. Does that change anything about the heist?’
Cas and Apollo shook their heads at the same time. Cas motioned for Apollo to speak. ‘The routine checks on Carrier and Giver chips are every seventy-two hours. The cycle reset this morning, so no one will notice the flags until after we go live.’
‘One day you’ll have to tell me how you know so much about Dominion,’ said Cas.
The room went quiet. Cas peered around, then back to Apollo. He squinted. He’d seen Dr Anand in some of the research photos, and Apollo was her mini-me.
I held my breath as recognition slowly came over Cas.
Apollo held out his hand. ‘My name is Apollo Anand.’
Cas’s mouth fell open. ‘I’m so sor–’
‘Don’t apologize for something you wouldn’t take credit for.’
Cas nodded and they shook hands. ‘Thank you for trusting me.’
‘Thank your girl – or not-girl.’ Apollo flashed a wicked grin. ‘Now, where’s the deck?’
Cas tossed Apollo his keys and nodded out to the campervan.
‘I’ll fix us some popcorn!’ Skye ran to the kitchen.
‘You told Skye?’ Cas raised a brow.
‘She told herself,’ Estelle replied. ‘She’s the nosiest ten-year-old in South Alta.’
I smiled to myself as the boys set up the holo gaming deck, and Apollo went through the procedure one more time.
Skye passed out drinks while Estelle seasoned the popcorn, Leo and Daddy debating who would drive me and Cas to the lab.
Cas hung back, watching all of us, a far-off look in his eyes.
I wondered if this made him miss his family, or reminded him of what he’d already lost. Daddy noticed too.
‘Come over here, Castor. Until my daughter dumps you again, you’re part of this family.’
I groaned. ‘Daddy!’
‘I say it from my heart.’ He ruffled Cas’s short curls as he pulled him into the fold.
I stood beside him, weaving our fingers together. ‘I’m not going anywhere,’ I repeated.
His mouth quirked. ‘Neither am I.’
My nerves tangled as I spotted Apollo over Cas’s shoulder. There was a part of the procedure both of us were keeping to ourselves – the biggest possible consequence if things went wrong tonight. Everyone would stop me if they knew. Which is why everything had to go right.
It would. It’ll be perfect.