Chapter 22
Chapter Twenty-Two
Seeing her ex shouldn’t make her nervous, since she believed now that he hadn’t killed her parents. Still…it had been a long time since they’d seen each other. She didn’t know him anymore. He didn’t know her.
Did he help Desiree dump her in that ravine?
He'd never been mean or vindictive. The only time she’d heard him threaten anyone was when he got angry about what her parents were doing to her. He’d only ever been kind to her.
Well, except when he cheated on her.
It just went to show that you never really knew someone.
Except Hawk seemed to be exactly who she’d always thought him to be. And so much more. He truly cared about her.
Which was why she was sitting on a purple couch in the children’s section of a bookstore a half hour from closing halfway between her place and Neil’s a town over.
The place was practically empty. Which made it easy for her to spot Neil walking in the door, his head on a swivel as he clocked the clerk at the register and the three other customers roaming the stacks.
The second his eyes landed on her, he stopped in his tracks, his gaze sweeping over her from her long hair, down her simple sky blue tank dress with her cropped denim jacket over it, to her nude wedge sandals.
Hawk got one look at her after work, practically gaped at her before his eyes filled with heat and he asked if he could spin her toward the wall, press her hands against it, flip up her skirt, and fuck her into tomorrow.
She’d given him a saucy smile, fought the heat welling inside her and the wetness dampening her panties, and simply told him, “Later.”
He made her promise she meant it.
Right now, she dismissed the lust in Neil’s eyes as he stared way too long for it not to be obvious that he still wanted her. Like he had any chance after betraying her.
She’d wasted all her efforts being a good girlfriend, loving him with her whole heart, only to be deceived by someone who swore they loved her back all while sleeping with someone she thought was her best friend.
It really hit her. The people closest to her always seemed to break her heart.
She felt Hawk’s presence at her back, hidden by the stacks, where he kept out of Neil’s sight. A sentry guarding her. Calm. Steady. But ready to help if Neil stepped out of line.
His devotion solidified the absolute faith she had in him that he truly loved her. He’d never hurt her. He’d never betray her. Instead, he took every opportunity to beg her to stay with him and showed her how much he meant it in his every word and deed.
She especially loved the dirty deeds she’d woken up to this morning. The things he’d do to her tonight when they got home.
It was almost like she could feel the love coming off him from his hiding spot.
She wanted to turn to him, go to him, let him wrap her in his arms and hold her and the world at bay. But she had to do this, to know that she was strong enough to put the past behind her and end this once and for all.
Neil snapped out of the trance he’d fallen into and walked the last few steps to her. She didn’t stand to greet him. She didn’t offer a smile. She simply said, “Sit,” waving to the open seat beside her.
He sat too close.
She slid a good foot down the couch, keeping him in front of her.
“I repel you that much?” His voice had gotten deeper. His face had more lines. A scar slashed across his cheek to his temple. He’d filled out with more muscle, though he was still lean. The look in his eyes was one of want. “Man, I’ve missed you so damn much. I think about you every day.”
Everything inside her buzzed with anxiety. “Then why did you help Desiree try to kill me?”
His eyes narrowed and his lips pressed into a deep frown. “Is that what she told you? Fucking bitch.” He scrubbed both hands over his face. “That’s not what happened.”
“I remember seeing you at the bar. I was out of it, but I remember you coming in the back door and asking if you would get to see her now.”
“I wasn’t talking about you. I thought you were drunk off your ass.”
“When have you ever seen me drunk like that?”
He leaned in. “I don’t know you anymore.
After all you’ve been through, I wouldn’t blame you for checking out whenever the fuck you want.
So, yeah, when I saw you, I just thought you’d had too much to drink and Desiree had, too.
She called me that night and said she needed a ride home.
I wanted to see…” He caught himself before revealing too much.
She already knew what he was going to say. “Krystal. Your daughter. Yeah. I know you were fucking Desiree behind my back and you got her pregnant.”
He raked his fingers through the side of his hair. “I came here hoping we could put the past behind us and…I don’t know…find a way to be friends again.”
“After you dumped me naked down a ravine and left me for dead, asshole!”
He leaned in close. “I did not do that. She did. All I did was drive your car back to your place. I thought she took you inside and put you to bed, even though I was the one who wanted to take care of you that night and hopefully get a chance to apologize in the morning.”
“Apologize! You killed my parents and Danny.” She knew he hadn’t but wanted to see what he said about it.
“I was never convicted of that.” His gaze dropped to the floor.
“That’s all you have to say after you sent me letters for months and tried to call me dozens of times from prison?”
His gaze met hers. “There are things you don’t know.”
“I know Krystal is yours. I know that you’re a fucking liar and a cheat and you betrayed me again and again. How many times did you fuck her, then come to me acting like you loved me, like nothing happened?”
“It wasn’t like that. I wasn’t her willing partner.
She fucking figured out I was stealing the drugs from the vet office where I worked and selling them.
She threatened to turn me into her dad if I didn’t cut her in on the business.
So I paid her. Then, that wasn’t enough.
She hated how happy you and I were together.
She wanted me and I told her no. I loved you.
But she wouldn’t fucking stop with the threats to turn me in or to tell you what I was doing. I didn’t want you to know.”
“Why? Why were you selling drugs? That didn’t seem like something you’d do. At least that’s what I thought at the time.”
“I was doing it for us! It was quick cash. And a lot of it. I was saving up to take you away, to keep you safe.”
“What?” She’d never once thought he’d been doing it to help her. “You put yourself and your future at risk for me?”
“Worth it to keep that motherfucker’s hands off you.”
“Even after I told you I couldn’t leave without Danny?”
“I intended to take him with us. We’d find a small town somewhere in a distant state and we’d make a life, far away from your parents.”
“We’d be fugitives.”
He shrugged that off. “Who would blame us for saving Danny the same fate you’d suffered? I was happy to pay the price to save you both.”
“Did Desiree know about your plan?”
“I had to tell her when she demanded I pay her off. I told her the money was for you and Danny. She didn’t care. She said it would never happen, that you’d never leave her behind.”
Lucky pressed her palms to her knees, reeling. “She hates me but she can’t let me go.”
“You’re the only one who’s stood by her all these years. I never understood why. She’s such a bitch sometimes.”
“It’s a defense mechanism. I’ll hurt you before you ever get the chance to hurt me.”
“Yeah, well, she fucked my life and has kept me from my daughter.”
“Then help me take her down. I know the drugs that knocked me and my family out were most likely yours. I know Desiree was the one who killed them. I know she framed you, but you never threw her under the bus.”
He shook his head. “Every time I thought I had the upper hand, she put me in my place.”
“She got rid of the knife with your prints on it.”
“Exactly. She set me up, then at the last minute saved me, but still let me go to jail for the drugs to keep me away from you.”
“Did she steal the drugs from you that night, or before?”
Neil didn’t look like he wanted to talk about it at all, but with her steady glare on him, he relented. “She showed up at my house after school around four and snuck in through my window like she always did….”
Neil was lying on his bed listening to music and reading The Great Gatsby.
He had to write a paper on it next week but couldn’t get into the story.
He heard the tap on his window and cringed.
She was back and it pissed him off. He’d told her the last time, it was over.
She didn’t listen the time before that, or the one before that, or any other time he told her how much he hated deceiving Lucky.
He loved Lucky. He wanted to be with her and only her. And every time Desiree showed up and coerced him into cheating on Lucky, he felt another piece of his heart break, his self-loathing rise, and the anger and frustration that built had nowhere to go because she had him by the balls.
“Hello, lover.”
He hated when she called him that. There was no love between them. He didn’t fuck her to make some kind of connection or because he wanted her. He did it to keep his secrets, so he could save his girl.
Lucky needed out. Now. She couldn’t take much more of the abuse her father inflicted on her.
Every bruise and cut, every putdown, every push and shove was tearing her broken pieces into pieces.
She was always so sad and lost and desperate to keep her brother safe, fuck herself. He didn’t like that. But he admired it.
Since the cops wouldn’t help, he’d have to take matters into his own hands.
“I see you’re brooding over Miss Perfect again.”
“I’m not doing this with you anymore. It’s not right. If she finds out, she’ll be heartbroken. Not just because of what I’ve done, but because you did this to her, too.” The argument was the same, and so was her answer.