Chapter 9
Zach
“Shug, I just got off the phone with your Aunt Virginia,”
I roll my eyes and continue fucking shit up on my video game. I know what she wants to talk about. Aunt Virginia lives along the border between Georgia and Alabama. Mama wants me to go check things out early and move on with my life. When will she get it? I can’t just leave. I can’t leave her .
“Zachariah Thaddeus Morris. You will shut off that there video game and have a conversation with your mama right this instant,” she scolds with an added foot stomp.
I make a show of slamming my thumb on the pause button and chuck the controller across the couch. She sits beside me, the pleat of her floral sundress being swallowed by the overused cushion.
I sigh and turn my body to face her. I love my mama to the ends of the earth, but the woman can be so frustrating. She has no patience and wants what she wants when she wants it with no excuses. Hmm, maybe that’s where I get it.
“Mama, I don’t wanna have this conversation again. We’ve already discussed my decision. I ain’t goin’ nowhere until Charlotte is out, and I can talk to her.”
Mama’s rough exhale fills the silence between us as she slides closer and laces our fingers together. Something she does when she’s about to deliver bad news.
“Honey. I know you think you love this girl– ”
“I know it, Mama. There’s no thinkin’ about it. I love her.” I interrupt.
Her eyes soften, and she gives me the look that she’s given me since I was a young buck, placating. Humoring. She pats the top of our joined hands, “Zachy, honey. Charlotte needs help. The kind of help you can’t give her,” she squeezes our hands lovingly, “Do you reckon she’d want this? You throwin’ away your future? I don’t think so, baby. I think she’d be slicker than a minnow in a mud puddle if she knew.”
I shake off her hand and thrust mine into my hair, leaning my elbows on my knees.
“Before you say anything, let me speak,” she softly demands. “Daddy and I discussed it with Mee-maw and Papaw as well as Coach Reynolds–” My eyes snap up to her unrelenting ones. She holds her hand up to stop me from speaking and sharply shakes her head once.
“We won’t let you ruin your future. You are signed up for the spring semester. You will stay with Aunt Virginia while we wait for a dorm room to open. Coach Reynolds has assured us that you will get the very next one available.”
What the hell? Who the fuck do they think they are? I’m eighteen. How can they make these major decisions about my life without me?
“You need to start packin’. Make two piles: one for your must-haves to take with you and the other for things we can mail to you later on.”
No. To hell with all of this. They can’t do this. I spring to my feet, breathing in heavy pants as I look around the room. Surely, Ashton will pop out at any moment and scream, “Gotcha!”.
There ain’t no way my family betrayed me like this. The depth of their deception slides inside me, filling me up, a toxic poison flooding my veins. Swallowing me whole. Stealing my breath. A pretty lie is still a lie. You can slap lipstick on a shitty pig, but at the end of the day, you still got just a pig covered in shit, smiling with lipstick stains on its tusks. You can’t double-cross me while smiling in my face and tell me it’s for my own good. To involve Mee-maw and Papaw? That’s a new level of fucked up.
I look down at Mama, searching her eyes for something that tells me we can talk about this. That there’s room for another option. But that’s not what I find. The determination etched across her face tells me this isn’t up for debate. This is a done deal, done in the shadows by the Judas’ in my life. I huff out a scoff and shake my head.
“You can’t do this, Mama. I won’t go. I’ll call Coach back and let him know you were mistaken.”
“It’s already done, Shug. Coach Reynolds had a long talk with your Papaw.”
Fuck. My Papaw is a very respected man throughout the South. He’s a formidable opponent. Most people try their damnedest to avoid being on his bad side.
Not only is he a powerhouse, but he’s also extremely wealthy. His reach is as far as it is wide. So him taking the time to have a chat with Coach means… I’m super fucked. They hold my life in their hands. A poker chip to be exchanged in the game of who swings their dick around the best.
I’ve always been respectful to my mama. Ever since my dad’s affair, I’ve been fiercely protective of her as well. Right now, it’s taking every bit of self-control I can muster not to have a full-on hissy fit. But I can’t do that—not to her. So I grit my teeth and storm off to my room. Her voice pauses me at my bedroom door, “You leave in three days.”
My shoulders tense, and I slam the door behind me so I can cool down before I turn around and give her a hearty what-for.
Collapsing on my bed, I stare at the pitted ceiling. The never-ending stream of shrunken mountains fills the expanse of the surface without a care in the world. Looking down with their sightless eyes on the destruction of my life.
This is a goddamn clusterfuck. This is what I’ve always wanted. To get out from under my dad’s thumb. Do my own thing. Kick ass at football. Dick down all the jersey chasers I can.
But then she happened. It’s not that I’m ready to throw my future away, but more that I want her to be a part of it. I want every part of our lives intertwined until I don’t know where she ends and I begin.
It scares the fuck out of me that I feel this strongly for a girl I only met a few months ago. But my gut tells me this girl, she’s the one. The one that’s worth everything. The one that will change everything. I knew when I watched her stumble into those woods, eyes puffy with tears streaming down her face and her adorable nose bouncing up and down like a rabbit. I knew she would either be the beginning of me… or the end.
Looking over at the stack of returned mail on my nightstand, I grab the one on the top and tear it open.
Little Bit,
This is letter number three, without a response from you. What’s going on, darlin’?
I took a run up to Sky Ridge this mornin’, and I stopped at our table. As I looked out over this little town, all I could think of was the last time we were here together. It was early afternoon, and there were a few random folks mullin’ about the area. I’ve never been as homicidal as at that moment. I wanted nothin’ more than to devour you right there on the spot. But all those fuckin’ people.
So you sat your pretty ass on top of the table, with me in between your luscious thighs. We embraced as we stared out at the picturesque settin’ of River View.
This mornin’, as I ran my fingers over the etched words in the wood, I recalled how flushed your skin was at the thought of my hands roamin’ all over you.
How it felt when I pressed my palm against your chest to lay you down, the drumbeat of your heart loud enough to dance around us in the breeze. Watchin’ the pulse throb in your neck as I ran my tongue along its path. I kissed you with an urgency that stemmed from the pooled desire buildin’ from deep inside me. I wanted to own your body right on that table, Little Bit.
One day, I will.
The little mewls and sighs of desire coming from your mouth made me feral. And then you wrapped those gorgeous legs around me, pullin’ me further into you. It took every ounce of control I had not to tear your clothes right from your body and slam into you with no regard for the public indecency.
The only thing that stopped me was utter possession. Every noise that comes from that delicate throat is mine. Every arch of your back is mine. Every curl of the toes is mine. Every wanton look is mine. Every sordid request that leaves your sultry lips is mine. Every flash of satisfaction on your beautiful face is mine. I will not share you.
You. Are. Mine .
Well fuck. Now I’m sittin’ at the DMV with a hard-on.
I miss you, Little Bit. Not just your captivatin’ lady garden, but you. I miss holdin’ you in my bed. I miss you runnin’ your fingers through my hair. I miss your sassy ass mouth. I just miss you.
I can’t wait until you’re home. We’ve got time to make up for. Make sure you prune the garden, sweetheart. I’ve got some seeds to plant. Okay, that was bad. I admit. Disregard the shitty come-on.
You know that girl that works at the Gas’N’Go? The blonde one? I stopped in the other day to get a “blue-motherfucking-raspberry” slushy, and she went on and on when she was checkin’ me out… while checkin’ me out. I’m serious. She looked me up and down so hard I was a little afraid for my safety. I thought she might try to pull a Dahmer on me when I turned her down. I tried to tell her I was spoken for. She basically said she didn’t give a fuck if I had a girl, that it could be just between us, and my girl would be none the wiser.
Earlier, one of the rings on my keychain had broken off and was inside the left pocket of my jeans. I covertly slipped my hand into my pocket and put the metal ring around my finger.
When she continued to come at me, I finally lifted my hand up and said, “Look, missy, my wife is my whole fuckin’ world, and not in this life or any other would I screw that up by so much as breathin’ in another woman’s direction. You go on and call me Casper because I might as well be a ghost to you. Don’t speak to me. Don’t look at me. Don’t even think about me. Or next time, I’ll send her down to set you straight.”
The saucy minx doesn’t take no for an answer, does she? At her age, you’d think she should know that no is a full gosh dang sentence. She just kept poppin’ that godawful gum and twirlin’ her hair, smirkin’ at me. When she finally rang me up, she jotted her number on the back of the receipt.
Are you gettin’ green as a June bug in July yet? Come on now, Little Bit, you know you’re the only one for me.
When I was walkin’ out of the Gas’N’Go, a very large, hairy gentleman in his fifties passed by me, and I slapped the number into his palm and told him the little lady inside would love to hear from him.
I reckon we’re gonna need to find a new place to get those bangin’ frozen treats .
Fuck, I want to see you.
I miss you.
I’ll be here, waitin’ for you. As long as it takes, Little Bit. I ain’t going nowhere.
I love you, Charlotte.
-Zach
I crumple the pages in my fist. She may not have gotten the letters, but I know what they said.
I fire the parchment filled with my hollow words at the wall. I said I’d be here waiting. As long as it takes. I promised.
My parents just made me a fucking liar.