Chapter 32
December 2007
Zach
The whiskey no longer burns as it makes its way down my throat. I used to welcome the sting because, at least when I felt it, that meant I could feel something.
Now, I feel nothing.
I feel nothing, even as I stare down at the positive pregnancy test.
The last twenty-three days have been spent in a constant state of fucked up. I got suspended from the team indefinitely.
Apparently, Coach Reynolds don’t take kindly to his star wide receiver showing up to a big game hammered.
I’ve been placed on academic probation. I don’t give much of a shit about that one. School ain’t really my jam anyway.
Tuck has spent more nights away from our room than in it. I guess I’ve been an ornery bastard. Couldn’t imagine why.
And now?
Now, the consequences of my actions just keep on rolling in. Bex was too much of a coward to bring it to me herself, having Mel do her dirty work.
I’ve never put my hands on a woman, and I ain’t starting now. We are both at fault for our current situation.
Mel seemed angry on my behalf. I’ve seen a completely different side of her than before. I haven’t talked about what happened with Little Bit to anyone, not even Morgan. I can’t bear to voice the words aloud. That makes it way too real.
Mel’s been checking in daily, even if I don’t answer or brush her off. She’s persistent in making sure I’m still breathing. As much as I don’t deserve to be breathing, I deserve to spend the rest of my life in a living hell regretting my actions.
Hell, she even offered to drive to AU with me to try to talk Bex into getting an abortion. But I can’t do that. I couldn’t live with myself if I had a hand in killing my own kid.
I won’t be a deadbeat asshole like my own father. I’ll be good for my kid. I’ll get this one thing right in my life.
* * *
I officially resigned from school two weeks ago. I couldn’t muster the give a fuck to go to classes, and when I finally broke down and told Papaw that Bex was pregnant, he agreed that I could withdraw– because no kin of his is going to get kicked out of school and smear our family name– and he would set us up with a place close to her school. She plans to finish out the semester, and then she’ll be placed on a leave of absence until the baby is born.
I don’t know if I’m hoping to run into her being so close or if I should lock myself away and never let my face be shown.
Bex has begged me to come see her at her dorm and help her pack, but I can’t do that. If somehow we ran into my gir– Charlotte , I couldn’t bear to see the hurt and betrayal on her face when she finds out that, unlike our life plans that we had together, another woman would be bringing my baby into the world.
Bex hopes that one day, we will be a big, happy family. But twenty-three days ago, any hope I had for a happy family went down in flames. We will live separate lives and simply co-parent. That’s it.
It’s funny. The whiskey ruined my fucking life. But it is also the only thing saving it. The irony ain’t lost on me .
Buzz
I ignore the first series of vibrations from my phone and continue swigging straight from the bottle. No need for glasses around here.
Buzz
For fuck’s sake, leave me alone.
Buzz
“What?” I demand as I slam the phone against my cheek. “Boy, you ain’t too old to get put over my knee. Don’t you dare speak to your papaw that way, you hear me?”
I love my papaw, so I swallow down my snarky retort, “Yes, sir, sorry. It’s been a long day. What’s goin’ on, Papaw?”
“Your mee-maw wanted me to give you a holler and see if you reckon our estate on Lake Wylie would be suitable.”
“Suitable for what?”
“Don’t be dense young man. You’re better than that. You’re a Morris, for Christ’s sake,” he scoffs in that high falutin, rich man way. “For your wedding , Zachariah.”
Somewhere deep inside, I knew this was coming. My family is old money. Image is everything, and the prodigal son’s son can’t be a college dropout with a baby out of wedlock to boot.
But it doesn’t make it an easier pill to swallow.
“Papaw, I don’t love Bex. This was a one-time mistake. I can’t marry her.”
Silence fills the line, and I can picture him walking into his study, unbuttoning the bottom button of his suit jacket, and sitting at his grandiose wooden desk. Pouring two fingers of the finest bourbon into a glass and swirling the liquid with his five fingers, cupping the top of the glass.
“Zachariah, you made an adult choice. This is the way it’s gotta be, son. The old adage was wrong. Sometimes, first comes baby, then comes marriage, and the love grows later—” he huffs a small chuckle before pausing to take a sip of his drink. “And if it doesn’t, you hire a nanny to handle all your needs. You hear me, boy?”
My blood boils with the injustice of my life. This one night is the fucking gift that just keeps on giving. “Is that what you did, Papaw? ”
The glass slamming on his desktop echoes on the line, and his voice gets real deep and hoarse, “You watch your mouth, Zachariah. Your mee-maw is the one and only love of my life. I’ve never so much as lusted after another woman.”
“Then you should understand! I lost my one and only love, Papaw. Don’t you get that? I don’t wanna marry anyone else. I should be marryin’ Charlotte!”
Papaw sighs deeply, “I know. I wish things could be different, but that just ain’t how things are done ‘round here.”
“What if I refuse?”
“I hope we don’t have to find out, but at the very least… I will rescind your trust and cut you out of the will. You will be completely on your own.”
I have nothing left but my money. If I refuse to marry Bex, I won’t be able to give my baby the life they deserve. Fuck. Fuck .
“What’ll it be, son?”
“I want somethin’ in return.” If I’m signing away my life, I may as well get something he’d never give me otherwise.
“And what’s that?”
“The 26’ Macallan,” I state matter-of-factly as if I’m not asking him for an almost half-million-dollar bottle of rare whiskey.
He hums, and I hear the liquid sloshing about his cup as he debates my quid pro quo. He sips on the booze and sucks a bit of air through his teeth, “Alright. You marry this girl and make our family proud, and the Macallan is yours. On your wedding night, after the certificates are signed.”
“Deal.”