Irregular Business Hours
At the end of the day, I return from a bathroom break to find Gregory, Rhonda, and Garret all standing around Caitlin’s monitor. The first thing I hear is Caitlin saying, “Jolene’s job.”
My stomach plummets. This is it. They’re going to know I violated them. They will all know I lied.
I take a breath to steady myself. As soon as Caitlin spots me, her smile twists around me. “Jolene, did you not change the format for the JMS forms?”
I take a tentative step forward. “I did.”
Her gaze hardens as she clicks her mouse. “No, no. The newest one—the one I issued you on May fourth. Corporate needed us to all start using them.”
“That was the day you had the meeting with HR. I didn’t get the update the following day either.”
Gregory’s pompous nod, his side-eye—all of it churns my insides.
Caitlin’s eyes widen. Her flustered breath snatches through the air. “I sent it, I swear. Let me look at my outbox again.” She frantically taps her keys, and the same mania seems to tap inside me. “Crap.”
Caitlin looks at me with, to be frank, misguided anger. Garret’s eyes are wide and scandalized. Rhonda seems weary. Gregory pulls his belt up into his belly. “This has to go out tonight. Corporate will need them by tomorrow morning.”
Garret and Rhonda effectively scurry away. The excitement of a big error has obviously been replaced by the need for the team to pull together to fix it, and nobody is having that.
“I’ll stay late. I’ll fix it,” Caitlin whimpers, her lip quivering.
Gregory just nods. He’s going to fire her next week, yet he’s still happy to let her bend over backward pulling extra hours to keep this company afloat. Of course.
I should leave it be. It’s Caitlin’s screwup, and the lady wouldn’t hesitate to let me drown by myself if the roles were reversed. But then Gregory looks at me and asks, “Are you the only two that can do the forms?”
Caitlin and I lock eyes. There’s a silent plea in hers.
“Yeah,” I whisper, as if saying it quietly will make a difference.
“Well then, can you stay too? We need to meet this deadline.”
I stare at him, baffled. Did we not just agree in his office that I was the one with the power now? This has to be some form of retaliation.
Then the worst thing that has ever happened in the exact location I’m standing happens. Gregory winks. “Jolene, helping fix a colleague’s error is just the kind of dedication we look for here at Supershops.”
For Donkey Kong’s sakes, Gregory, this is terrible acting.
Caitlin’s face pinches, stress lines pulling through, but I can’t enjoy it. “Thank you, Jolene,” she practically whispers.
Gregory smacks his hands together like a baboon. “Great work, ladies. This is what a team really feels like.” Then he’s off to violate someone else with his presence.
I sink back into my chair and pull up the new JMS form. Everything needs to be done from scratch.
Cliff messages me: Are you ready to go?
I doubt I’ll be leaving this office before midnight. So I message back: Work emergency. Caitlin and I have to stay late.
Cliff:I can wait.
Jolene:Oh, please don’t wait up. I don’t know how long it’ll be, and that kind of pressure will kill the project.
Cliff:Okay. Have a good night. I’ll pick you up tomorrow, same time?
Jolene:No, after tonight I’m going to sleep in. I’ll see you for our appointment at 11am.
Cliff:Wow, you’re willing to take three buses tonight and tomorrow for this company. You’re a dedicated employee.
Jolene:Isn’t that what I’ve been saying the whole time?
Cliff’s little icon switches offline, but I’m still smiling.
It’s just me and Caitlin, working in the dim lighting since most of the motion sensor lights have gone out. Only she’s not working; she’s texting on her phone. That’s fine. I will do my half and leave, no matter what.
Her phone rings. She sighs and smashes some buttons until it goes silent. She won’t make eye contact with me. Passive-aggressive silence is fine with me.
Her phone rings again. She grabs it with a frustrated huff and slinks into the boardroom, shoving the door shut behind her violently—so violently that it ends up bouncing back and doesn’t quite shut.
I hear her whisper, “Hello?” There’s a long pause as she listens to whoever is on the other end of the line. Then she grits through her teeth, as softly as possible, “I told you, I have to work.”
I’m not really paying attention, until she suddenly shouts at full volume, “Seriously? Look for yourself! I’m turning on my camera.”
Then a male voice yells back, now on speaker: “They can’t keep you there. You’re needed at home.”
Kyle.
“There was a mistake I need to fix.” Caitlin’s voice is gradually getting higher. “You’ll have to come up with your own dinner tonight.”
“Caitlin, what the fuck? They’re going to lay you off anyway. Just leave. You’ve got other obligations.”
Her voice cracks. “Kyle, please calm down. My colleagues will hear—”
“Are you with another dude?”
“Oh my god, no. Can’t you see I’m at work?”
“Never know with you anymore. Can you blame me? I apologized a hundred fucking times, even sent an apology to your office, but still you’re ignoring my texts. Now you won’t even come home!”
“Just stop,” Caitlin hisses. “I told you I forgave you.”
“Doesn’t feel like it,” Kyle replies. “This feels like you’re still mad at me, and you’re trying to make me suffer—”
“You’re right, okay? I was being dramatic. I’m sorry. Can you please pick me up tonight?” Caitlin sucks in a sharp breath.
“I need to get dinner sorted now, so figure out your own ride. And if you’re home too late...”
The air in my lungs starts to burn. My bones twist tighter in my body as everything comes into sharp focus. I pull up Caitlin’s emails, heart pounding, running on pure instinct and adrenaline. I search his name in her deleted folder as I think of the incessant phone calls, the texts, even the gifts. I scroll quickly and find one in an instant, but it’s benign enough. I click on another he sent over two months ago, before I had email access. And it’s enough to know for sure that I didn’t mishear—what I already knew in my gut.
From: [email protected]
To: Caitlin Joffrey
Subject: Wow
Blocking my number? So tired of playing these stupid games. I can do so much better than you...
I click it shut and pull up another from March:
I’m sorry. I picked up your favorite wine. Love you.
It’s like the final deflation: Kyle is fucking abusive. It shouldn’t surprise me. It doesn’t. Kyle made my life hell for years, and he’s still a bully. All the time I spent watching Caitlin... I just didn’t properly look. I didn’t see. All her recent anxious moments shine differently, in a way I know too well.
I didn’t want to see.
Silence seeps from the boardroom for far too long. I think maybe I should go check on her, but I don’t know what I could say. My throat scratches each time I swallow.
After fifteen minutes, she finally emerges. I watch her hand linger on the doorknob as she registers that it wasn’t completely closed. She looks devastated and so small. It’s like she’s looking for permission to exist. An impossible thing to find.
Then she takes a deep breath, pushes her shoulders back, and it’s gone. Like she’s compartmentalized away everything that happened in the span of a few seconds.
She glances at me and catches me watching. Her eyes widen—she must know I heard. Then her eyes narrow into slits. “What are you looking at?”
I can’t keep up with the change of vibe. Whatever she did to switch gears so fast, it’s a skill nobody should need to have.
Caitlin needs to get away from this man. I need to do something.
“Are you—” I begin to say, but she drops into her chair and cuts me off.
“Can we not waste time talking? I’d like to get out of here before daybreak.”
It’s like a part of me has shut down. I watch as she clicks her screen awake, the glow of her monitor casting a stark white light across her face, highlighting the shadows under her eyes.
I turn back to my computer, but I can barely see the screen.
It’s almost midnight by the time we both finish our halves of the grid. Caitlin’s mascara is smudged from rubbing her tired eyes, and we’re both sallow from the unnatural amount of hours spent beneath the fluorescents. My breath is sour from too much unauthorized Coffee Club coffee.
No more words were exchanged after her call with Kyle. The only human interaction I’ve had since then was a text from Cliff, asking me how the project was coming along. Slowly was my single word response.
I’m packing up my access card and phone when Caitlin says, “Should we stick together since it’s dark?”
Her voice startles me after all the silence. I glance up and she’s watching me carefully, her face a little guarded.
“Right, yes, murder is a thing,” I say. “Are you taking the bus?”
Caitlin sighs. “I’m in Sundance. An Uber would be like a hundred bucks. I’m supposed to be saving money for my... Yeah, the bus.”
I nod. “Same. I’m in the other direction, but just as far.”
An awkward smile emerges on Caitlin’s face for a second before it drifts away. “Let’s hope our buses come at similar times so neither of us have to give witness statements tomorrow.”
It feels like an olive branch. I chuckle.
We make our way down the stairwell to the bus stop just in front of our office in polite silence. Ever since Kyle yelled at her, it’s like a layer of skin has been lifted. I thought I knew who Caitlin was, but now I finally see her.
But the idea of her going back to Kyle is like a corkscrew drilling into my brain.
“Caitlin,” I blurt out, “are you going home?”
Caitlin stiffens and her hands clench. “Yeah...” Her eyes flicker to mine and then away. “Is this about Kyle? It’s fine. Just stay out of it.”
She’s right, of course. This isn’t my problem, and Caitlin isn’t my friend. I shouldn’t have listened to that phone call. There’s so much I shouldn’t know these days.
But I do know Kyle. I know that he is a terrible person—dangerous even. It’s like a scream is stuck in my throat, causing a phantom ache as it begs for release.
It’s too much. I open my mouth and the words tumble from me. “Caitlin, if he’s willing to talk to you like that when others can hear, I’m really worried about what he says when he thinks nobody can.”
Caitlin tucks her hand into a fist against her belly. Both our eyes slip to the ring on her finger. She shakes her head. “No, it’s not like that. Things have just been stressful for both of us with work. That was a one-off.”
I wish I could believe her, but I saw the emails. And I know Kyle. I speak softly: “But things sounded so heated. Are you sure you want to—”
“Jolene, can you honestly drop it?”
It’s not like Caitlin isn’t capable of taking care of herself. But the corkscrew twists inside, sharp and urgent.
“It’s just—” I swallow, hardly able to believe what I’m about to say. “I actually know Kyle from—”
Caitlin throws up her hands. “Enough!” Then her gaze locks directly on to me, her lips curled with disdain. “You think you know Kyle? He told me all about you. I know all about your friend. How you left her to die.”
I stop breathing as her words splash over me like boiling water, hot and painful. Her lips turn into a smirk, taunting me.
This has always been my worst nightmare—even worse than losing my job was someone knowing.
But this isn’t about me. She’s the one who needs help right now.
I inhale and look directly at her. “It was the worst moment of my life.” My breath hitches despite myself. I push down my panic and keep speaking. “Ellie was my best friend.”
Caitlin’s gaze shifts down to the sidewalk, her nose wrinkling.
“I don’t know what Kyle told you, but I really was alone with her when she slipped and fell. Everyone said I left her there, but I stayed for a long time. I tried screaming for help. Eventually I had no choice, I had to leave her.”
Caitlin’s eyes flash back to mine, but she doesn’t speak.
“You know what happened when I finally got back to the group? I was begging for someone to call for help, but Kyle laughed and said I was just a drunk loser trying to get attention.”
Caitlin’s fingers squeeze into little fists at her sides. I wipe my cheeks with the back of my hand.
“Weeks later, he would taunt that we had some squabble and I killed her for fun.” My throat is raw and broken as I keep going. “Whatever Kyle says I am, I’ve thought worse about myself. So think whatever you want about me. Nothing is worse than what happens inside my head.”
I choke down a sob, turning away from her in a last-ditch effort to hold it together. But then Caitlin’s hand darts out and squeezes my wrist tight, and I fully break.
“I’m sorry.” Then she says, “I believe you.”
Her voice is shaking as much as mine.
“Caitlin, it’s none of my business. I just—I spent years wondering if I could have done something different. And I have that same feeling—that fear that I’m watching another bad thing unfold, and I need to be sure I tried my best.”
She covers her face with her palms. She’s so silent and still. Then a sob rips through her, like it’s being pulled straight from her core. She wipes her palms over her eyes, pushing at the tears that are flooding from them, urgent and visceral. Finally, she whispers, “I’ve gotten so good at managing him. And myself, because of him, even though I don’t want to be good at that.” Another sob crumbles through her words. “But I can’t lose him.” She looks up, her eyes wide and desperate. “This is going to sound fucked up, but he’s the only stable thing in my life. My job here has not been going well lately. I’ve cut out my friends, my family. And he’s not always like this. Sometimes he’s so sweet. He takes care of me.”
Guilt seeps into my muscles, making my legs buckle. Next week Caitlin is going to be let go. She’ll be alone with him. Everything I’ve been doing to fuck with her job has been driving her closer to danger.
I put both my hands on her shoulders, letting her lean some of her weight on me as she straightens herself. Her warmth from being alive, from being a human being, draws into me.
“I’m so sorry, Caitlin. I hate this.”
Then it’s like a switch is flicked. She stops crying mid-sob, rolls her shoulders back, and says, “I have to leave him.”
The wave of relief that hits me is sudden and sweeping. “If you need anything—any help—I can—”
She shakes her head. “It’s okay. I’ll be okay tonight.”
I nod uncertainly. I wish she wasn’t in this tough position. I wish I could take back everything I did to mess with her.
She tucks her chin into the collar of her jacket and says, tentatively, “I’m sorry I’ve been so mean to you.” Then she smiles, soft and sad. “I’ve been trying so hard because... this job, it’s the only thing that’s mine. It means everything to me.”
A reel of memories plays behind my eyes of us through the years, sitting a few feet across from each other, both angry about the other person, both ashamed of ourselves. It’s hard to believe how similar we are.
“I know exactly what you mean.” Then I let out an empty chuckle. “I can’t see how this company could lay either of us off when we’re the only two that could fix this bullshit tonight.”
“Yeah. Good point.” She almost laughs, though it dies in her throat.
The distinct squeal of a bus approaches and rounds the corner, casting its headlights over us. “I think that’s the twelve,” Caitlin says, looking at me guiltily. “Will you be okay out here?”
I check my phone. “Mine’s three minutes away.”
She gives me a solemn smile. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
I watch through the windows as she takes a seat in the dimly lit bus cabin. She looks back at me, waving her hand as she goes.
As soon as Caitlin’s bus peels away, a car rounds the corner and slows right in front of me. The headlights are blinding, and I suppose that’s for the best if I’m about to get murdered.
“Get in the car, Jolene.”