10. Margot
10
margot
My eyes flutter open, and my first thought is that I’ll see Jackson in New York. October may be two months away, but it’s better than waiting for him to come back in December. Last night, I looked up everything I could find about Webster Hall and scoped out hotels in the surrounding area. I’ll look into it more in the next few days. If anything, it will give me something to do while I wait for classes to start next week.
When I walk out of my bedroom, the apartment is quiet. Matt and Rae slept in separate apartments for the first time in a while last night. I think Rae figured I wouldn’t want to be alone, but even though she was here when I went to sleep, lying alone in my bed still had the walls closing in on me.
I pad across the kitchen floor. The tile feels cool against the bottom of my feet, and when I pass the kitchen sink, I stop in my tracks. Jackson’s coffee mug from yesterday morning is still in the sink, and it brings a faint frown to my lips.
This is ridiculous.
I shouldn’t miss him this much already. I shouldn’t see the Snoopy mug in the kitchen sink and have the memory of him making fun of me for owning it flash before my eyes. It’s not like I won’t ever see him again, and it’s not like we haven’t done this before.
But last time he left, I didn’t know what it felt like to have him here. I had no idea what it would be like to wake up next to him, or to fall asleep with him in my bed. I didn’t walk around taking note of his subtle glances and knowing exactly what each of them meant.
But now I do know how it feels to have those things.
Now I know how it feels to have him . . . and I miss it.
Rae’s bedroom door opens, and I look over my shoulder to find her wearing an oversized Chicago Bears shirt and cotton shorts. “Morning.” She rubs her hands over her face and squints against the soft morning light. “Are you making coffee?”
“Yeah.” I refocus on what I came into the kitchen to do. Getting the machine ready, I add, “I’ll make you one.”
“Thanks.” She pulls up a seat at the bar. Our apartment may not be big enough for a kitchen table, but it’s modern and new on the inside. Rae and I loved enhancing the bright open concept with plants and natural oak furniture.
I can feel her eyes on me as I make the coffee, so I make a point to say, “I’m okay, you know.”
“I know,” she says a little too quickly. I look over my shoulder, and she relaxes into her seat. “I mean, it’s not like you two broke up,” she adds with a laugh.
She’s right. I don’t know why him not being here is hitting me so hard. I hand her a cup of hot coffee. “So, what’s the plan today?” I ask, knowing there’s a good chance she already has something in mind.
Bringing her mug to her lips, she pauses. “Braden is house-sitting for his cousin. I guess he has a boat he doesn’t mind us using?” She tilts her chin up with a pleading smile like she already assumes I’ll say no .
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
She holds her same position. “Because I don’t want you to be sad.”
Leaning against the kitchen counter, I laugh. “I’m not sad. I’m fine.” When she still doesn’t look convinced, I add, “I’d love to come.”
She finally relaxes and lifts her mug to her lips. “Good.”
“Margot, want anything?” Braden asks as he stands with the cooler open.
Tearing my eyes away from the soothing waves to look at him, I nod. “High Noon?”
He smiles, and I try my best to return the gesture.
It turns out Braden’s cousin having a boat was only the tip of the iceberg. Braden’s cousin is rich. There’s no other way to put it. His modern contemporary home has access to the bay with its own private dock and an infinity pool. I figured we’d have to at least trailer the boat somewhere, but all Braden had to do was lower the electric lift, and we were ready to go.
Matt wanted to drive, so Braden hands me a drink and sits on the bench across from Rae and me.
“Thanks.” I give him another small smile before popping the top and taking a sip. The bubbles in the seltzer dance across my tongue, the cold drink easing some of the summer heat. My hair whips in the wind as I look out over the water. The sun’s reflection dances on the water’s surface, and the palm trees look almost frozen in time as we zoom past them.
Before we left the apartment, I may have sent Jackson a sexy picture in my bikini. It was nothing crazy, but I’ve never sent him anything like it. He hasn’t responded yet. It’s Sunday, and I don’t think they have a show tonight, but maybe it’s his turn to drive the van .
Rae looks back at the impressive house behind us. “So, what does your cousin do for work?” When she looks at Braden again, she adds, “And are they hiring?”
He gives her a flash of white teeth as he rakes a hand through his blond hair. “Pharmaceutical sales I think?” He lets out a laugh. “Don’t be fooled, though. He hates his job.”
Rae lets out a sigh. “Well, I better love teaching because I can almost guarantee I’ll never have an infinity pool to console me if I don’t.”
Braden looks back at Matt. “Hey!” he yells over the sound of the motor. “She wants an infinity pool!”
Matt gives a sharp nod in his LSU hat and Oakley sunglasses like he understands the mission he’s been given.
Rae shakes her head, but amusement pulls at the corners of her mouth. “I don’t think he realizes how high up he’ll have to be at Disney to make that happen.”
“Did he hear back from that guy who thinks he can get him an internship next year?” I ask, remembering something Matt mentioned a few weeks back. He loves the Happiest Place on Earth more than most people I know, and since his major is hospitality, it’s practically a match made in heaven.
Rae nods before weighing her head back and forth. “Yeah, but I mean . . . it’s Disney.” When Braden and I glance at each other, she goes on to say, “Disney is huge, so the fact that his dad knows someone might help, but it might not. It’s just too big of a company.”
“Hey, Rae!” Matt calls out over the roar of the boat. “Can you get my phone out of your bag? I’m sick of Braden’s shitty music.”
Rae gets up at the same time Braden flips Matt the bird, and I have to laugh.
I would have never said anything, but he does listen to shitty music. Dating Jackson has definitely rubbed off on me. I know for a fact he’d have something to say about Braden playing America’s Worst 40.
Braden’s eyes widen playfully as he registers my reaction. “You hate it, too?”
To this, I just shrug. “My boyfriend is in a band.”
“Right,” he says with a laugh. “Hey, how’s that going by the way?”
I blink. “Uh . . . he only left yesterday.”
A nervous laugh leaves his lips. “No, I know. I just meant in general.”
“Oh.” It’s been a while since I’ve had to come up with an answer for this question. Rae used to ask how I felt things were going with Jackson in the beginning. After he left for tour the first time and we technically decided to give things a shot, she’d ask if I had heard from him and how I was feeling about it all. But back then, it was so new, and I was still trying to figure things out. She hasn’t asked that question in months. I think she stopped asking as soon as he was here for the summer. By then, she didn’t have to check in with me. She could see exactly how things were going for herself, and when we’re together, Jackson and I are undeniable. My phone buzzes in my lap, and I use it as an excuse to buy myself a little more time before answering. I don’t know why, but I feel like I need to choose my words carefully around Braden.
Jackson:
Jesus fucking Christ, Margot. Are you trying to get me to turn this van around?
I don’t bother fighting my smile as I stare down at my phone. I just laugh and glance back at Braden. “It’s good.” I look back at my phone and shake my head, my bemused smile only growing. “It’s really good.”