23. Jackson
23
jackson
The couch in the RV becomes Mya’s makeshift bed every night, but as soon as she’s up, she stashes her blankets and pillows somewhere to turn it back into a couch for everyone. It’s a good thing she wakes up earlier than the rest of us. Coming out here feels like a good way to clear my head before I’m around the guys for the rest of the day.
I take a seat on the tiny blue couch and send Margot a quick text to ask her what she’s doing today. I barely have time to hit the send button when my phone gets snatched out of my hand by Mya skipping past. “Good morning, Lover Boy,” she says in a sing-song voice.
I sigh. “Why do you have my phone?” I swear, there’s something about living with someone inside an RV that makes a week of knowing them feel like years. Mya has already become the little sister I never wanted. A very annoying and pushy but surprisingly cool little sister.
She innocently sways back and forth while shamelessly reading my conversation with Margot, her eyes going wide. “Is she coming? ”
Leaning forward, I snatch my phone back from her grip. “That’s the plan.”
“So, I get to meet her?”
She’s looking at me like she’s six and I just promised to take her to the North Pole. “Uh, yeah. I don’t see why not.” I tuck my phone into my pocket where it’s safe from prying eyes.
“When?” She’s practically bouncing on her toes.
I let out a laugh. She looks the way I feel when I think about seeing Margot, but I have no idea what warrants this type of excitement from her. “The show in New York City on October twelfth.”
With one more hop, she spins and collapses on the couch next to me. “Oh, I love this.”
My eyebrow lifts. “You do?”
She nods before leaning back against the cushion with a whimsical look like she’s watching a movie in her head. “You know,” she says before looking over at me. “New York is very romantic.”
“Really?” I say flatly with a huff. I’ve never been, but when I think of any big city, my first thought goes to alleys that smell like piss.
She sits up straight, turning to face me with fresh light in those green eyes. “So romantic! It’s basically our Paris.”
I cock an eyebrow. “Have you been to Paris?” Her lips twist into a smile, and I roll my eyes. “Have you even been to New York?”
She waves off my question. “That’s beside the point.” Staring at me with more determination, she adds, “The point is, New York would be a great place to tell Margot how much you love her.”
“Whoa!” Marty pops up out of fucking nowhere. “Is the puppy in love?”
Rubbing my hands over my face, I get to my feet. “Fuck off, Marty. It’s too early for your shit. ”
I’m met with Marty’s cackle of laughter and the sound of Dave pulling the curtain open on his bunk. He sticks his head out, his blond hair a mess. “Marty, we all know Jackson’s got it bad. It’s nothing new.”
I run my hand through my hair as my eyes search the RV for a place to hide. Walking to the back, I grab my guitar. “Marty, when’s the last time you got laid? I can’t remember.”
To my satisfaction, Marty’s laughter stops short, but it’s quickly replaced by Dave’s howl. I ignore Marty’s glare as I head back to the front of the RV and sit on the couch with my guitar.
“Sorry,” Mya mouths with a grimace, and I’m surprised by how genuine she looks. I honestly don’t care if she talks to me about Margot. I like Mya. I already feel more comfortable with her than I ever have with Marty.
Dave braces his arm overhead and looks down at me while my fingers pick at the strings. “So, what’s your plan with Margot?”
“He’s going to tell her he loves her,” Mya pipes up next to me.
My fingers halt on the guitar, and I look over at her with wide eyes.
She gasps before squeaking, “Sorry!” again.
Bracing myself, I bring my attention back to Dave standing in front of me. His eyes are still on Mya, his eyebrows raised. “Oh, yeah?” Looking back at me, he grins. “Nice.”
“I’m getting a hotel that night,” I say flatly, knowing that’s the answer he was actually looking for.
Everything with Margot has felt fleeting lately. Our calls, our texts, the time I get to spend with her. None of it is enough. They’re all just tiny glimpses into what we had when we were together all the time. Holding onto her is starting to feel a lot like holding onto water .
“Good,” Dave says, pulling me from my thoughts. “I don’t think one more person in here would be a good idea.”
He’s right. When we first got the RV it felt like a ton of room, but with the added people on board, it’s already cramped like the van. It’s crazy how as soon as you achieve something, you want the next thing. I guess that’s the curse of this business: never being satisfied. I’m already imagining how much better things would be with a tour bus.
“Yeah, don’t worry. I rented a room walking distance from the venue once we get there.”
Dave nods. “How long will she be here?”
“Just the one night.” It will be too short of a trip. Even saying the words out loud leaves an ache in my chest. I know it won’t be enough.
“Nice. You’ll have a good chunk of time with her then.” He claps a hand on my shoulder, his words contradict everything I’m thinking. Luckily, he doesn’t wait for me to respond and heads toward the front of the bus. It’s his turn to drive and give Brady a break.
Mya makes sure to keep her voice down for once when she says, “Are you going to plan something special for when you tell her?”
My fingers go back to picking at the strings. My first reaction is to say, no. I haven’t planned anything outside of getting us a room, but something nags at me from the pit of my stomach, and instead, I ask, “Like what?”
“Jackson, you’ll be in New York City! ” Her sharp whisper is enough to pause my playing again.
“So? You heard how much time I’ll have with her right? I’ll be lucky if I get to tell her backstage.”
Mya pins me with an unwavering stare. “Don’t you dare.”
I let out a breath of laughter. “By the time we get out of the show Saturday night, everything worth seeing will be closed.” What does she expect me to do? Break into the Empire State Building?
Mya pulls her feet up and rests her chin on her knees. “No, that won’t work.” Her lips pout as she thinks. “You’re right, a lot of sightseeing things will be closed, but still, it’s the city that never sleeps.” Before I can even open my mouth to agree with her, she lifts her head. “Times Square!”
“You want me to tell Margot I love her in the middle of Times Square?” Even saying the words out loud have my heart rate spiking.
“Well, it’s better than telling her backstage. ” She deepens her voice to mimic me, and I narrow my eyes.
I didn’t think Margot would care where or how I told her. I almost told her standing near my car for Christ’s sake. But what the hell do I know? I’m no expert on long-term relationships, and Mya is looking at me like I should understand the gravity of this situation more than I do.
“Okay. I’ll figure something out,” I say, just wanting this conversation to end. Margot hasn’t said anything about wanting me to tell her a certain way. Hell, I don’t even know if she feels the same. I think she does . . . When she looks at me, I think she does. The bottom line is that she deserves it. If Margot needs me to make a big deal out of this, I will. I’ll do whatever it takes to keep her.