66. Margot
66
margot
When my eyes flutter open, my first feeling is panic. What if I dreamt it? What if none of it was real? But once my eyes adjust, and I gently roll over, I’m met with the same view I woke up with every morning during the summer. Jackson sleeps on his stomach next to me, his muscular back gently rising and falling with each breath.
He loves me.
I always thought I never needed him to say it, but looking back, I think the fact that he hadn’t fed into some of my doubt. It lingered in the shadows like a taunting whisper every time I wondered if I was stupid for being with him.
But I’m not stupid.
He isn’t keeping me out of convenience for when he’s home. He isn’t looking for a part-time relationship the way I painted it in my head. He’s here, fighting—for me, for us, for the life he wants us to have.
Gently, I reach out and run my fingertips over his arm to wake him. He stirs, squinting at me, and smiles lazily.
“What time is your flight?”
Jackson groans. “Three, but we don’t need to talk about that.” He reaches for me, pulling me closer so he can kiss the top of my head.
Wrapping my arms around him, my fingers graze the muscles of his back. “Are you hungry? Want coffee?”
A low hum rumbles in his throat. “Yes, and yes. My dinner last night was airport snacks.”
I pull away from him. “Okay, I’ll make us something.”
Jackson yanks me back so that I’m underneath him in one swift movement. “I’ll cook.” He has me pinned against the bed and memories of last night flood through my mind. We always do this. We go so long without seeing each other and then we can’t keep our hands off each other when we’re finally together.
I’m not complaining.
Looking up at Jackson, I say, “Check the time.”
Those steel eyes are full of mischief. “I don’t want to.”
I let out a laugh. “Just check. I don’t want you to miss your flight.”
He stares at me for another beat, and I playfully swat at his chest. “Check.”
“All right. All right.” Without moving off me, he reaches for his phone. He only glances at the time before setting it down and shifting his focus back to me. “It’s ten.”
“We need to leave in two hours to get you to the airport on time.”
The corner of his mouth kicks up. “Plenty of time.” Pushing up the T-shirt I slept in, he leaves a trail of hungry kisses down my stomach, and my entire body wakes up at the contact. I never would have described Jackson as timid, but ever since I told him I love him, he’s different. He’s different in a way that makes me think he was holding back before. He’s bolder, more assertive, even his gentle moments just feel?—
His tongue drags over my wet heat, and I stifle a cry.
More .
His warm tongue dips inside me, and it’s almost too much. I squirm to lessen the pressure, but a commanding hand grips my thigh to keep me in place.
“Jackson,” I plead, and I don’t even know what I’m begging for.
“Sorry,” he murmurs against me. He sucks hard on my clit, and I think my vision blacks. “I have a lot to make up for.” His tongue flattens against me like he can’t get enough, and my legs shake.
“Fuck.” I breathe out the word.
Jackson’s voice is rough when he says, “After.”
In the moment it takes for me to understand what he means, he’s already back to gently sucking on my clit, and it feels too good for me to speak.
I jolt at the sound of someone knocking on the apartment door.
Jackson lifts his head to look over shoulder. “Expecting someone?”
“No.” The word comes out breathy and full of need. I’m so close. Gripping his hair, I push his head back down, and he lets out a low rumble of a laugh against my center. But then he’s back to bringing me close to the edge within seconds.
The knocking starts again too, and this time I hear a muffled, “Margot?”
Braden.
“Shit.” I scramble out of his reach and grab the shorts I wore last night, throwing them on with nothing underneath. “I have to get that.”
Jackson is still where I left him, watching me with bewilderment. “Really, Red?”
I grimace. “I know. I just—” Another soft knock on the door pulls my attention away. “I’ll just be a minute.”
“Who is it?” he calls over his shoulder, but I’m already running to the door .
I open the door, out of breath. “Hey.”
Braden is already a few steps away but stops and turns. He looks me up and down, before checking the time on his phone. “Did I wake you?”
I can only imagine what I look like right now. I went to bed with my hair wet, and I was on the brink of an orgasm just seconds ago. My cheeks flush. “No, I’ve been up. Just . . . had my hands full.”
He nods and grips the back of his neck as he walks toward me. “Look, I wanted to apologize for last night. I shouldn’t have said I wanted to kiss you.”
“Oh.” My cheeks flare. “Um, that’s okay. We can forget it ever happened.” I give him my best smile, but he looks disappointed by my response, and my smile falls. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what you want me to say.”
He shakes his head. “No, you’re right. We should probably do that.”
The sound of the coffee maker starts somewhere behind me, and a cabinet opens as Jackson no doubt gets out two coffee cups and sets them on the counter.
Braden looks at me with a furrowed brow before realization dawns in his features. He doesn’t look mad or upset. He looks embarrassed, and it’s somehow so much worse. “He showed.”
“He did,” I say softly. He gives me a tight-lipped smile and nods. Rocking back on his heels, he looks like he’s about to walk away, so I blurt, “I’m sorry,” because I can’t think of what else to say.
Braden frowns. “What are you sorry for?”
I flounder. “I don’t know. If I ever gave you the wrong idea or led you on.”
He smiles. “You didn’t. I just thought . . .” He shakes his head and lets out a light laugh. “I don’t know what I thought.” With a shrug, he holds out his hand. “Friends. ”
A genuine smile pulls at my lips. “Friends,” I agree, shaking his hand.
Braden leans around me. “Hey, Jackson.”
In seconds, Jackson’s hand is on the small of my back, and all I can think is that I hope he put pants on. “Hey, man. It’s been a while,” he says to Braden.
“It has.” The two guys bump fists, and I finally dare to look at Jackson beside me.
Good, he’s wearing pants. No shirt, but he had the common sense to put shorts on over his briefs.
“Congrats on the headlining tour.”
Jackson nods. “Thanks. Next time we’re in town I’ll set a couple of tickets aside if you want.”
Braden’s eyebrows lift. “Yeah?”
Jackson puts an arm around my shoulder. “Sure. My manager already knows to set some aside for Matt and Rae. I’ll tell him to save a couple more.”
Braden’s gaze briefly falls to Jackson’s arm around me, but it only lasts a second. “I appreciate it, man.” Taking a step back, he nods toward the parking lot. “I’ve got to get going, but I’ll see you around.”
We wave goodbye, and Braden heads toward the parking lot, jogging down the stairs with his usual energy. My eyes linger on him, but he doesn’t look back, and I know we’ll be just fine. We’ll be friends.
Closing the door, I turn and Jackson presses me up against it.
“That was big of you,” I say as I look up at him.
Jackson kisses me gently on the lips. “I’m in a good mood.”
I lift my brow. “Oh, yeah?”
Jackson’s nose skims mine, his thumb tracing the line of my jaw, and I can already feel the ache in my core again. “You’ve given me everything I’ve ever wanted, Margot—more than I ever wanted.” He kisses me a little more tenderly, and it steals the breath from my lungs. “Now it’s my turn to make sure you get everything you want, too.”
Reaching my arms up, I drape them around his neck and kiss him deeper. I know he means my career, my friends, my own life outside of him, but I will have all those things. What I want most right now is to be happy, and I am. I’m happier than I’ve ever been. I kiss him deeper and say against his lips, “I already have it.”