68. Margot
68
margot
For the past two weeks, I’ve been simplifying my life in Florida. It helps that I’ll still be able to leave most of my stuff here in the apartment, but I have all the essentials packed into a single duffel bag. I stare at it on my bed, already zipped shut because I started packing the moment Jackson left. Today is the day I get to see him again.
Karah wasn’t thrilled when I told her I’d be leaving, but when I told her why, she surprisingly got on board with it. She told me to write as much as I can because nothing beats experiencing life on the road. Part of me thinks she had a wild streak back in the day. Was she reminiscing?
I set up my online classes on my own. There were only a few spots available for the upcoming semester, so I had to sign up for a few different courses with some questionable professors, but I’m sure I’ll get through it.
My phone vibrates on my bed, and I look down to see a text from my dad.
Dad:
Fly safe. Let me know when you get there .
I smile as I answer him.
Margot:
Will do. Love you.
He wasn’t happy when I told him what I’ll be doing for the next six weeks, but as long as I keep up with my classes, he seemed to hate it a little less. We agreed it might be best if mom just thinks I’m taking the semester to do some traveling—which is true. I’ll just leave out the part about being in a tour bus with my rockstar boyfriend and his friends.
“Hey.” Rae pokes her head into my doorway. “Almost ready?”
Am I? I think I am. I have to be. I bite my thumbnail as I look at my bag again. “I’m crazy for doing this, aren’t I?”
Rae comes into my room. “Yes, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it.”
I nod. She’s right. She’s always right. “Okay,” I say as I let out a breath. “I guess, I’m ready.”
“You love him,” she says with a small smile.
“I know.”
“And he loves you.”
I nod and try to shake off some of my relentless nerves.
Rae shrugs. “Look, if you ever need to come home, you can. Even if this apartment isn’t my home anymore, you’ll always have a home with me.”
I give her a grateful smile. “Thanks.”
“It’s going to be great, Margot. And I’m going to come visit you.”
“You better.”
She grins. “Matt is already debating which date of the tour he wants us to go to.”
I let out a light laugh. “Of course he is.” My smile fades because there’s something I’ve been meaning to ask her, and I don’t know how I’ll feel about her answer. Running my thumb over the strap of my duffel, I hesitate before slinging it over my shoulder. “Hey, can I ask you something?”
She leans against the door frame. “Always. You know that.”
I do know that, but that doesn’t make asking this any easier. “Did you push me to go out with Braden that night because you thought it would make me want Jackson back, or because you were hoping I’d start liking Braden?”
“Both.”
A bewildered laugh bursts from my lips. “What?”
She shrugs. “I mean, either. I just wanted you to be happy, and you were so sad, Margot.” She crosses the room and takes a seat on my bed. “I figured going out with Braden would either make you realize Jackson was worth the challenges he comes with, or maybe you’d realize you could find happiness in someone new.”
I glance at her before looking back down at the strap in my hand, unsure of what to say.
“Hey,” she says. “I love you and Jackson together. He’s good for you. But two weeks ago, you didn’t want to hear that. You were trying so hard to move past him, and I had to respect that.”
I can’t argue with her. After one more sweep around the apartment, I’m confident I’m not forgetting anything. Rae drives me to the airport, and it’s crazy to think that a whole two weeks has passed since I last stood here with Jackson. I think of how it felt to be near him—to be completely and totally loved by him—and I’m buzzing with excited anticipation my entire flight to California.
I’m just as anxious when the plane eventually lands.
My hands shake as I walk through the airport, my fingers gripping the strap of my duffel tighter than they need to.
My heart pounds in my chest with every step toward the main exit.
Then, I see him. He’s alone. There’s no other bandmates, there’s no Mya, he doesn’t even have his guitar. It’s just Jackson. He must have taken an Uber to meet me.
I stop in my tracks, and just look at him. He hasn’t seen me yet. His back leans against the outside wall as he looks down at his foot as it scuffs the pavement. All the anxiety and stress I’ve held on to all day finally melts, and the rush of it has my eyes prickling as happy tears threaten to spill over.
Jackson looks up, and those steel-blue eyes come alive when they see me. He grins, and I hope I never forget what he looked like in this moment. I hope I never forget how the way he looks at me made me feel at this very second.
Rushing toward him, I drop my bag as soon as he’s within reach so I can wrap my arms around him. He feels familiar, and safe, and exciting, and unknown all at once.
And when he kisses my hair and says, “Welcome home, Red,” he feels a lot like that, too.