Chapter 23
Chapter Twenty-Three
“ F or the last time, get up!”
My eyes were still closed when Mel’s shrill voice reached my doorway, penetrating my solace. Lakey was somewhere close, panting. I’d been without my wife for one week.
A miserable, soul-sucking seven days.
Melanie had moved in temporarily while Julianna was away.
Her townhouse complex was sold, and all the tenants were given thirty days to get out.
We moved most of her items to storage since I needed something to do to keep my mind off Julianna, and although she was on the hunt for somewhere new to live, I was grateful she was with me, so I didn’t have to be alone.
I had been morphing into a vampire-like state, staying up until the wee hours of the morning and clocking only a few hours of sleep. If Mel hadn’t been there to get me up in the mornings, I would have slept all day until I lost my job .
But I did everything I could to keep my mind off the fact that Julianna was so close, yet so far. I hadn’t attended the MCA dinner on Friday, feigning illness, but mostly, I couldn’t go and face the elderly ladies asking me where she was.
I thrived off the memories of the one night we’d spent together in my bed, the way she tasted on my tongue, the way her soft moans and whispers filled my ears, the pleasure of the moment imprinted deep into my very being.
Her plush lips on my own. Her laugh, smile, and the way she was shy and kind with everyone she met.
She was perfection. She always had been.
Her missing clothes and toiletries in the bedroom and bathroom were reminders of the harshest reality: she was gone.
She wants space.
She doesn’t want you.
Fifteen years of desire had been fulfilled, and I didn’t know how to deal with it being torn from me so suddenly.
I dealt with her dismissal of me by reminding myself that we were still legally married.
She couldn’t get away from me without severing that union, and I wouldn’t let her go anywhere without a fight.
I showered and dressed in my uniform, complete with badge and hat. I had a political pony show to attend, and I had to look official. If only the uniform would hide the dark circles under my eyes. I honestly did look like my nickname.
“You clean up nice, bro.” Melanie whistled as I entered the kitchen. She handed me an insulated travel mug of hot coffee, and I tipped my hat to her.
“Thank you. It’s an important day.”
She moved things around the kitchen, packing her lunch, dressed in her clean, pressed uniform. “You don’t have to pretend with me. I know how you feel about these photo opportunities for the senator.” The sarcasm echoed in her voice .
“Quit acting like you know me,” I grumbled, grabbing my jacket. “See you at work.”
I ushered Lakey into her kennel, ensured she had water, and added a treat for her. I gave her generous pats and heartfelt goodbyes before walking out into the shockingly cold October air.
I’d tried to bake a blueberry pie for Julianna five times.
After so many failures, Melanie swooped in to help, and we created something decent enough that I could take it to her.
I had so much I wanted to tell her, but I settled for a simple note.
Her “thank you for the pie” text was everything and nothing at the same time.
As I did every day, I thought about her while answering emails and preparing the team for the day.
We were unveiling a new accessibility ramp at Pelham Falls Picnic Area.
It was a popular spot in the national forest and presented a great publicity opportunity for our senator, who had helped secure significant federal funding for the area.
I’d done these events many times and knew it came with the position.
I went through the pomp and circumstances of the ceremony, giving all the charm I could muster in my diminished state.
It was a successful unveiling. Pictures were taken, hands were shaken, and it was over quickly.
My team and I were loading up the last of the chairs to return to the office when Melanie walked over and stood directly beside me.
“Head over to Julianna’s house, now,” she whispered near my ear. “I think she needs you.”
My blood ran cold. “Is she okay? Did she call? Wait, how did she call you?”
She didn’t answer but smiled brightly and winked.
“Tell me what she said.” I tried to make my voice stern, but Mel was having none of my tactics.
She just shook her head. “Nope, no info. She called. Go. Now. She’s waiting. ”
I felt hesitant about abandoning the employees to complete the grunt work, but I didn’t have to be told twice when it came to Julianna.
If she wanted to speak to me, she wouldn’t wait one extra moment.
I left Paul, the oldest ranger, in charge of the group and sped off toward Grams’ house in my ranger vehicle.
Some part of me thought something might be wrong, an accident or injury, and Mel didn’t know the whole story.
Why else would Julianna have had a sudden urge to see me?
I ran to the front door of Grams’ house and rang the doorbell instead of pounding on it like a baboon.
If she didn’t answer within ten seconds, I was going to use my code and go in, propriety be damned.
I had to know she was okay. The door swung open when I was pushing the numbers on the keypad above the doorknob.
My wife stood in the tall doorway, whole and seemingly unharmed.
My jaw dropped.
Julianna had always been the sexiest woman I’d ever seen.
Yet this time, she’d taken careful steps to showcase it.
Black jeans and a black, long-sleeved bodysuit highlighted every curve and bump of her tall and full figure.
Her hair was down, slightly curled at the ends, and lying across one shoulder.
Her makeup was light, but impeccable, her lips a cherry red that sent a jolt straight to my cock.
“Julianna,” I said on an exhale. The scramble in my brain due to fear had switched to another, more primal feeling.
She grinned, her smile enough to set my cock at full attention. Her gaze was tantalizing and sweet, and I wanted to fall to my knees and worship her.
“Hello, Ranger,” she replied coyly, ogling me openly up and down as she held onto the door frame.
My face flushed, my desire rising higher. Many ladies I’d met during my career liked uniforms, and I guess Jules wasn’t much different.
“Mel told me to come over, that you needed me?” I mused. I wanted to grab her and hold her to me. I wanted to smear her lipstick all over my lips as I took her mouth to mine.
Then, later, smear that red lipstick all over my cock…
But I wouldn’t make a move until she told me she was okay with it.
“I do need you. Come on.”
I followed her into the living room, where a candle was lit on the coffee table and a book she was reading was open beside it. Everything was cozy and warm, like she had settled into the space. I didn’t like it, not one bit. She belonged at the farmhouse.
She gestured toward the couch, and I took a seat. She remained standing, looking down at me, her face less pleased and more pensive.
“There’s so much I want to say,” I started.
“I want to speak, please,” she replied. “I will ask you a few things, and I need your honest answers with no elaboration. You can’t deviate from my question with your answer. When I’m done, you can say what you want. And don’t get up from your seat.”
I cocked an eyebrow at her assertiveness. “I’ll tell you whatever you want to know. As long as you’re where I can see you and talking to me, I’m happy.”
She crossed her arms, showcasing her ample breasts. It was everything I could do to meet her eyes as she spoke. I grinned at her interrogative pacing. She was on a mission.
It was hot.
“That day in the hospital, when you said you didn’t want me, did you love me then?”
She went straight to the point, no pretenses.
I took a deep breath.“Yes,” I said, not taking my eyes from hers, willing everything I had into that one word. “I’m not sure I had the correct word for what I felt since I’d never loved someone before, but yes, I did. I loved you. I wanted only you. That was the worst day of my life.”
She nodded, accepting my answer. It took everything I had not to get up when tears started to flow down her perfect face.
“Why did you come back the night of the wreck?”
“You meant more to me than myself. But I acted too late. I constantly think about how things could have been so different if I’d stayed. I’ll never really be over it, Julianna. But I want to forgive myself now, if you’ll forgive me too.”
“Hmmm,” she said, her gaze narrowed. “You deviated, but I’ll allow it.”
A smile played on my lips.
“Why haven’t you had a serious girlfriend? Or gotten married? It’s been so many years.”
“Because I’ve only wanted one woman—you. No one ever measured up. No one was as beautiful, smart, creative, sweet?—”
“You’re deviating…” she warned, eyes narrowing and her voice trailing. She paced for a few moments before standing still, facing me, her gaze directly on mine.
“Do you still love me today? Right now?”
“Yes.” I didn’t need one single second to think about it.
The flush on her neck and the nervous pick of her fingernails told me I had rattled her with my simplistic reply.
“Why didn’t you tell me everything sooner?” she asked, her voice softer.
I scooted to the edge of my seat, thinking she would come toward me, but she didn’t. I remembered her rule, and I stayed seated.
“I know I’ve hurt you throughout your life in so many ways, and I can’t say I’m sorry enough.
I’ll spend the rest of my life being sorry.
But I want happiness, and I’ll never be happy until I have you.
And if you allow me to be with you, I’ll do whatever it takes, whatever you want…
I can’t let you slip through my fingers again.
“I should have told you every day, shown you so many years ago, how much you mean to me. I don’t deserve your time, much less your affection. But my God, do I want it. I crave it more than breathing, more than?—”
She straddled my lap, leaning us against the couch.
Her arms rested on my shoulders. Her lips met mine softly, tentatively.
Without hesitation, I curled my arms around her and let my tongue push between the seam of her lips.
She was soft and pliable as I pulled her body closer into mine.
She moved atop me, the friction quickly becoming unbearable.
Our mouths clashed repeatedly, a dance we didn’t have to practice.
There was nothing to learn, instinct driving every move.
Passion dripped from her kiss, and I poured my love into each press of our lips.
I was fully erect when she pulled back, gasping for air. I kept my arms around her, sliding my hands up and down her back. “Bram,” she whimpered, and I lost control.
My hands came up to cup her breasts over her bodysuit, kneading them in my hands.
Their weight in my palms was perfect. “Stop me now if you don’t want this,” I murmured clearly, but didn’t give her any warning before I jerked down her bodysuit and bra.
Her lush breasts spilled out in front of my eyes.
She said nothing, but let her mouth fall open, and her head tilted backward, thrusting her tits closer to my mouth.
I was unable to resist them, and I groaned with her as I wrapped my mouth around one of her tight, pinkish-brown nipples.
I was a man possessed. I took her into my mouth over and over, licking, sucking, and tugging with my teeth and fingers until she was pressing down harder against my erection.
“That feels so fucking good.” She exhaled, and I smirked, letting her breast pop out of my mouth .
“I’m gonna make you feel even better, sweets.”
I hadn’t called her that in so long, and the endearment seemed to embolden her further. Her hand came between us, resting on the crotch of my pants. She rubbed her palm gently against the impossibly hard bulge, and I looked down in time to see her hand undoing the belt of my uniform.
“Can we move to the bedroom?” I asked, unable to think about our first time together being on a living room couch.
She stopped and stood, fondling her breasts, enjoying every track of my eyes against her movements.
Fuck. Me.
I pressed her along toward Grams’ old bedroom, but at the last second, she pulled me into the back bedroom—her old bedroom—the one where she’d written those journal pages that I’d memorized.
The thing I loved most about what she’d written wasn’t that she’d elaborated about wanting me to deflower her.
I was flattered by that. But my favorite part was the section where she talked about how much she loved my laugh.
How she knew I was quiet, but that all the best thinkers were.
And how she hated when I made jokes about myself, or when she overheard the girls at school saying I played too hard to get.
She’d preferred to believe I wanted quality, not just a nice piece of ass.
She’d been right. It was true then, and it was true now.
I stared at my Julianna, her tits bared to me, her face and neck flushed with our frenzied emotions.
“I have to see all of you again,” I whispered, letting rough fingers slide over her smooth skin.
She shivered a little and nodded her consent as I peeled her jeans down.
She was so fucking delectable. I wanted to crawl inside of her and never leave.
My hands roved over her waist and trailed down her hips, something I could easily do without awkwardly bending down because she was so tall.
She was my equal, my match, the one worthy of the world—I’d spend however long I needed to give her everything she ever wanted from me.