Chapter Twenty-Two #2
Freddie gives me a nod, and I give him a grateful smile. Jace looks around the table, then his eyes settle on me, concern etched between his brows. I reach up to smooth it out, and he inhales sharply, his eyes widening.
I begin with a rush. “I said he didn’t make me feel anything, but that’s not true.
He makes me feel everything.” Jace’s face is all I see, though my cheeks are hot with the attention I know is directed to me.
Why can I dance on a stage in front of thousands of people without shaking, but being seen by Jace leaves me with the sensation of free-falling?
“Jace,” I whisper, “you make me feel everything.”
His jaw tightens, his chiseled cheekbones shifting with the movement.
“You asked me how he makes me feel.” I look at Gram and lift my chin.
I’m well aware that this is my own rite of passage with her, owning my emotions and declaring it in front of my family.
I can appreciate her intention. And Jace deserves the attention.
I shift to look back at him and reach up to touch the side of his face.
He leans into my hand with the slightest bit of pressure, and I smile.
“You make me feel like everything ever missing or stolen from me has been returned.”
Jace closes his eyes. He turns his chest toward me, his hands rising to cradle the sides of my face.
The tip of his nose traces from the bridge of my own to my hairline before his warm lips brush against my forehead, and he kisses my skin.
I swallow and register the sound of my mother sniffling and Gram clapping.
My dad does some sort of grunt in a sound of approval, and my brother is probably taking notes. He should. There’s no one like Jace.
“Well, Arms McGee is still a good nickname, despite how mushy the two of you are.” Gram takes another bite of pot roast and gives a disinterested shake of her head.
“Don’t be offended, Gram. You can call me that instead,” Freddie says with a wink, clearly just trying to get a rise out of her.
“Okay!” My mother stands and starts clearing dishes. “I’m just going to go grab the dessert. Ivy girl, can you come and help?”
I nod and stand, moving toward my mom when Jace rises so suddenly that the table shakes.
“I’ll help her with the dessert,” he says.
Freddie laughs into his hand and tries to cover it with a cough. “Smooth, man,” he mutters, and Mom lightly and lovingly pushes him on the shoulder.
Walking away, I feel Jace’s strong frame behind me.
When we’re in the kitchen, he follows me until I’m against the counter.
I face him, immediately finding his arms lowering to effectively cage me in.
His amber eyes drop to my lips, the pine-infused scent of him engulfing me.
Just his proximity is exhilarating. The clock on the stove lets out a little chime, breaking the spell of the moment as Jace smiles.
“What do you think all these clocks are trying to tell us?” I say softly, my breath hitching as Jace leans down slightly.
“That we’d better choose each other before time runs out.”
I hum. “Like The Nutcracker.”
“What?”
“The Nutcracker. He comes to life and then returns to the form of a nutcracker—at least, in some versions. It always made me so sad.”
“I hate Florida,” Jace confesses rapidly.
My brows crinkle in confusion as my eyes search his. “You . . . what?”
“I hate it,” he repeats hastily. “Why would I spend Christmas there? You’re not there.”
“But you said . . .” I begin.
“I changed my tickets. I know what I said, but not being near you for Christmas and thinking that distance from me was what you needed was the excuse I made to keep my heart from galloping away from me.”
“Galloping?” I question with a smile.
“Yes, like a noble steed.”
“Okay, then.” This conversation is so . . . Jace, the Jace I’ve come to know. I can barely contain my amusement, and I’m about to tease him until I see his eyes swirling like maple syrup pouring from the bottle, their intensity mesmerizing.
His voice rumbles around me with a throaty timbre, consuming me.
“Sometimes, I feel like the forces of this world have ripped things from me when I least expect it, the things that I love. It happened with my sister. It happened with you. But I can’t be afraid of loss and disappointment.
Instead, I have to hold on even tighter and pray that that’s enough. ”
My heart turns over. “What I hear you saying is that you want your Christmas plans to involve me this year. Am I right?”
“That’s exactly what I’m saying.” His voice is deliciously scratchy, the sound causing me to put more weight against the counter whose job it currently is to hold me up. How he’s getting more attractive by the second is captivating.
“That must be inconvenient for your family.”
“We missed out on spending Christmas together long ago, Starlight. I don’t want to miss out on this one.”
“If we wait any longer, I’ll be asleep by the time dessert arrives!” I hear Gram yell from the dining room, effectively breaking us from the magical moment we’ve been sharing.
I shake my head as Jace laughs. As it escapes from him, the movement causes his head to lean forward, the edges of his hair teasing my cheekbone.
I want to wrap my arms around him so he can bury his face in my neck, but the thought is postponed when he straightens.
He points to a cake that looks like a snow globe and a plate of cookies, and I nod as he grabs them.
I grab a chilled chocolate cream pie, a gift from Angie via Jace.
“We have enough dessert to fill the town. Maybe we should invite the carolers to come inside,” Jace says with a hint of playfulness. I love seeing glimpses of him when he’s more at peace, the real Jace underneath the occasional gruffness.
My mom greets us at the door, her eyes full of love. “I was just about to come after you two!”
“No need,” I reassure her as we bring the desserts to the table, finding our seats again while everyone looks at us knowingly.
“Do we need to sanitize anything, or are we good?” Freddie, loving and obnoxious brother that he is, challenges me with a raised brow.
“We’re fine,” I say with emphasis, though “fine” comes out a little more like how Ross would say it from Friends.
Freddie laughs and digs into the pie. A cheer erupts from my dad and Gram.
Jace gives me a soft smile. He curves his face toward mine, his deep voice greeting my ear. “Hi, Starlight. Missed you.”
I laugh nervously. “We haven’t been apart.”
He shrugs with a grin. “Still miss you.”
Oh my stars, I am so gone on this man.
Gram is busy hacking deeper into the pie and throwing cookies on plates as they pass around the table.
Jace grabs his share but passes it to me before taking one for himself.
His face lingers so close to mine. I want to feel his warmth, that certain brand of affection I’ve only felt from him.
I want to feel the softness of his lips and the brush of his smooth-shaven jaw.
I want to nuzzle into his neck and remember how my heart beats to a rhythm that’s only his.
As the conversation moves around us, I track it absentmindedly, but my mind is still stuck in the kitchen .
. . and the fact that we still haven’t kissed.
“Jace, what happens after New Year’s?” I ask in a sudden whisper.
His hand flexes around the spoon on the table. His posture is almost comical in the tiny, vintage chair, and I’d tease him if not for the seriousness of this moment. “I want to be with you, Starlight, if that’s what you’re asking.”
I bite my lip and focus on the dessert, finding that I’m not hungry for it at all. The thought of Jace still planning to leave, of Emmy no longer being able to grow up in my dance studio, makes me queasy.
“You know, I think we should go sing!” I stand to my feet, Resin following with a worried wag of his tail, my dog sensing the shift in my mood. Freddie is eating pie like he’s in a contest, and my dad is on his fourth cookie. They stare at me, exchanging questioning glances across the table.
“But we haven’t even had our tea,” Gram chides.
I sit back down, feeling like my tights are now too warm and my fingers are too cold.
Jace extends his hand, a pained expression on his face, until I thread my fingers through his.
I hold him tightly, unsure if I should find his touch comforting or commit it to anxious memory.
He’s here. He’s in a place so familiar to me, yet somehow, tonight, I feel the call of loneliness in my soul.
Maybe it is possible to miss someone while they’re still next to you.
If it was hard to try to move on without him the first time, I can’t imagine what it would be like to lose him and Emmy now.