I Love Lamp: Legendary Monster Mates (Monsters of Arcana Falls #2)

Chapter 1

Chapter One

Kassie

“Wow, I can’t believe you set this up so fast!” Harlow stepped into my office-slash-bedroom and gazed around in amazement.

I moved in two days ago, but when you make most of your money online streaming, time is money.

Deep purple covered the walls, the fresh smell of paint still lingering.

I had my decor down to a science since I had been at this for so long. I moved everything from my last apartment to this townhome with my bestie, Harlow.

My bedroom and gamer office reflected me completely.

The whole setup had a witchy-tech vibe. Fairy lights, tangled with purple neon strips, cast the perfect ambiance around my command center.

A sleek black desk held a curved monitor, my custom mechanical keyboard with a color-shifting backlight, and the crown jewel—my PC tower with its purple LED heartbeat pulsing through tempered glass.

My plush black-and-purple gaming chair rested on a dark rug at my desk. Black lace curtains covered the windows.

The dark shelving around me told my entire story.

Candles and crystals sat beside little bat figurines and vampire teeth replicas, creating a perfectly moody display.

My collection of spicy novels lined up neatly along the shelves, right next to my capybara plushies—the ones I couldn’t resist buying because, honestly, they’re cute as shit.

Every piece added another layer of me to the space.

Mounted on the wall, my crescent moon shelf cradles tiny succulents nestled between colored potion bottles, all arranged beneath the smoldering gaze of Silas, a character from a game I couldn’t get enough of.

I draped every inch of the remaining wall space with black celestial tulle and woven fairy lights through it like stars.

Empty space made my skin crawl. I needed my surroundings as packed and layered as my thoughts.

The lighting was soft and flattering for streaming, creating a dreamy mix of witchy charm and gamer energy.

Fuck, it was the best.

I didn’t leave my bed out of the equation of my new room—no way!

It was a dark, princess fantasy.

It was a sleigh bed, wrapped in black leather. Luxurious velvet and satin bedding in midnight shades, piled with plush pillows, and a headboard with hidden surprises.

I sighed and rubbed my cheek.

Yet, no man to handle all these curves, and to try it out.

“It isn’t too dark, though, is it? I mean, you won’t get depressed?” Harlow stepped in, her bare feet sinking into the sparkly, lime-green rug on the floor. “Oh, pretty!”

I shook my head and hugged her from behind, my arms circling her waist. She let out a little laugh as her eyes followed the twinkling lights scattered across my ceiling.

“Nah, darkness is my old friend,” I hummed and walked over to the three monitors on my massive desk.

Behind me came the swish of Harlow's cottage core dress as she prepared for her own stream. Unlike my gaming setup, her channel featured her baking bread and sweets while wearing low-cut aprons and flirty outfits, chatting with viewers who came as much for her personality as her pastries.

Her fun, bubbly personality, the way she would knead the dough, got her enough subscribers to keep up with her stuffed animal collection and this townhome.

I don’t know why she wanted me here.

Harlow bounced on her toes while I dropped into my chair and jiggled my mouse. My triple monitors flickered awake, displaying the blood-soaked battle axe of my newest character. A half-demon, half-minotaur with purple hair that matched my walls.

“It was silly of me to think you hide in the darkness, when so obviously you are the light in here.” Harlow patted my head and placed a kiss on top of it.

I groaned and wiped it away, offended.

I swiveled in my chair, curling my fingers into claws. "Excuse you? This is a sanctuary of darkness. I literally hiss at the sun."

She stuck out her tongue, skipped to my bed, and flopped down with a bounce.

Her pink and green dress… barely reaching mid-thigh, billowed around her like a frosting swirl.

The delicate straps of her apron did little to conceal what was clearly a strategic wardrobe choice for her baking stream later.

Bread making?!

Each punch of the dough, and her boobs would be bobbling bibbilying as an old-school male romance author would type.

Harlow wiggled her toes. “Sanctuary of darkness, I like it. I have always been attracted to dark, spooky stuff, but I like my pink. It’s kinda funny how we are besties being so opposite. It’s kinda like I am the orange cat and you’re the black one,” she snickered.

I hummed and put the black, devil-horned headset on, leaving one cup off my ear so I could hear her.

Harlow and I had quickly become friends when I accidentally followed her one lonely evening while I was sick. She saw I had popped on, saw my username and screamed loudly into the mic, her bouncing bobbily boobs went haywire, and she got a great payday.

Harlow had watched me for a couple of years, and I never knew.

I’m usually playing the game, commenting on the graphics, the commentary of what the characters say, and the spicy shit. Sure, I’d talk to some viewers, but I must have never seen her there.

It’s been the best friendship ever since.

When the lease was coming due on my apartment, I wanted to move somewhere else. I was over the big city. It was loud, and there was only so much makeup and filters to hide the circles under my eyes.

When I told Harlow, she jumped on it and demanded that I move in with her. She had just bought a townhome in Arcana Falls a couple of months prior. The town was tiny, but the forest around it was huge.

Small, quiet town, high-speed internet, creepy forest, strange ordinances and bylaws that make no sense?

Hell, sign me up. I’m down for the nonsense.

“I best be going. How late are you staying up?” Harlow jumped off the bed and sashayed toward the door. Her makeup was mostly neutral, except for the big fake eyelashes that made her blue eyes pop. The sandy-blonde hair complemented the colors she always wore and the golden tan she rocked.

While I was the opposite.

I clicked on the mouse twice and pulled up my calendar. “Maybe two. The time zone here is different, and I have a raid starting at eleven.”

Harlow bit her lower lip. “Is that one guy gonna be on? TeaBagTitan?”

I rolled my eyes and spun my chair around. “Are you serious? That idiot?”

“Hey! He might be an idiot, but he's pretty to look at!”

I huffed and rolled my chair back around. “The only reason why he has followers is that he IS pretty to look at. He has no skill, but plays without a shirt. I bet his private chats aren’t talking about gaming; it’s about his joystick.”

Harlow giggled.

Fuck. “I didn’t mean it like that!” I turned my chair around. “I mean, people can do what they want. I’m just saying people like him for other things, not his games.”

Harlow waved a dismissive hand. "I keep it PG-13 on my channel.

" She adjusted her top with a little bounce.

"Some creators monetize their bodies, and good for them. I stick to suggestive baking, it makes it fun,” her voice dropped to a theatrical whisper.

"Like, I might lick some buttercream off my finger.

" Her eyes sparkled with playful mischief.

"But hey, my pastries, recipes, fun ramblings, sell themselves. "

And her food was tasty. She would package them up and sell them to her fans. All because she touched them.

Hell, she should spit in them and charge more.

“Kay, gonna be late. Tootles. Don’t forget to ahem…” She pointed to my black zippered hoodie.

Right, right.

I lowered it a little to show off the girls because, let’s face it…they were great to look at. I may have gotten my avatar’s hand bit off once from not paying attention while I admired them.

Because these girls were huge.

A traitorous beam of sunlight sliced through my blackout curtains the next day, stabbing directly into my eyelids and dragging me from sleep far too late in the morning.

I arrived two days ago and spent all my time getting my room ready, so hadn’t had a chance to look around town yet. Though I knew I’d eventually need to get food.

I couldn’t rely on Harlow all the time.

The clanging of pots and pans from downstairs finally dragged me out of bed. I stomped down the stairs, not bothering to lighten my footfalls, and found Harlow in the kitchen wiping down counters and putting away the aftermath of whatever she'd been baking last night.

“Morning!” she chirped.

I bared my teeth like a feral cat, hissed, and dragged myself toward the coffeemaker, where liquid salvation was already brewing.

Ahh, the bringer of life.

The black liquid splashed into my cup, and immediately, my body relaxed. Once the scalding drink hit my tongue, I groaned and slumped over.

Harlow slid the last bread pan into the cabinet with a clatter.

"The way you hunch over in that gamer chair, then shuffle around like the Hunchback of Notre Dame, your spine is going to get stuck like that.

And those," she added, gesturing to my chest with a spatula, "aren't exactly lightweight accessories. "

Harlow's tiny, yellow nightgown clung to her curves like a second skin.

She only wore it because she genuinely liked it, not to impress anyone.

But if her viewers ever caught a glimpse of that barely-there fabric on one of her livestreams, their wallets would pop open faster than a toaster oven on waffle day.

But she wouldn’t.

I walked toward her and held up her boobs. “And these don’t hurt your back?”

She stared down at them. “Ah, not right now. When I got them a few years ago, they said when I get older, it might be a problem. But that is old, wrinkly Harlow’s problem.”

I raised an eyebrow. Huh, didn’t know they were fake. Just thought she naturally produced that.

“Whatcha doing today? Are you going into town?”

I nodded. “Yeah, need any groceries?”

Harlow held out a plate of bacon, eggs, and biscuits for me. I groaned when she poured sausage gravy all over them and headed to the table.

“Yeah, I need to stop eating your food.”

“Thought you said you can’t cook?”

I put a big forkful in my mouth. “Nope, can’t,” I mumbled. “But I gotta stop relying on you.”

Harlow rolled her eyes. “I like taking care of people. I don’t mind cooking.”

I glared at her. The woman never stopped feeding people… breakfast for us, pastries for her fans, volunteer shifts ladling out soup to the homeless. If there were a mouth to fill within a five-mile radius, Harlow's spatula would find it.

“I’ll be fine. I’ll buy ingredients, and if you cook, I won’t say no.”

Harlow beamed and went back to eating. “I could even make something and bring my fans into your gamer room, to show me serving you, almost like a collab.”

I nodded. Nope, don’t mind that at all. I had been living off frozen pizza or takeout for years. Not that I had a choice, because if I tried to cook…

I would die.

By either poisoning myself or setting the apartment on fire.

I could burn water.

That fireman looked at me like I was nuts when he stared at that pot.

But his nuts didn’t even fill the suit, so… whatever.

The town was relatively small, but it had everything we needed. Such as the high-speed internet, which was a must.

The town only had quaint little family-owned shops instead of big box stores, which meant no midnight shopping sprees or ordering takeout at 2 a.m., when a gaming session ran long. Everything shut down by nine. But with Harlow around, I wasn't exactly going to starve.

As I drove past more houses, I noticed clusters of people chatting on porches and lawns.

Something about them seemed off—like they'd all cranked their personal quirks up to eleven.

Maybe living this deep in the woods, tucked away in a place called Arcana Falls, gave them permission to be their weirdest selves without judgment from the outside world.

Which meant Harlow and I would fit right in then. Even in the big city, the clothes I wore, how I had my hair… with all those people, still I felt like I stuck out like a sore thumb at times.

‘Quiet, Quirky, Quixotic’ is what the bottom of the sign of Arcana Falls read when I drove in.

And it was... just like that sign promised.

Dreamlike. Shops selling crystals and tarot decks stood next to apothecaries with jars of mysterious powders.

Handmade candles flickered in windows beside artisan furniture workshops.

All the weird, mystical stuff I'd have to hunt through twelve different neighborhoods to find back in the city was crammed into this single main street.

It was overall awesomely perfect.

How the hell did Harlow find this place?

The only downside was that, with a small town like this, if something happened to anyone, everyone would know about it.

Everyone knows everyone.

There aren’t any grocery deliveries, we can’t hide in our townhome…

We have to—brace yourselves—talk to people.

Socialize.

Outside our job.

Cue the horror music here…

But would it really be that bad? I could walk in the store, walk out. Anything I needed from the big city could be delivered; there was mail…

A load of groceries, though, that was different.

I yanked my hoodie over my head, making sure one neon-green streak of hair dangled strategically across my eyes. Perfect social force field activated. The plan: navigate the cart through the aisles, grab essentials, escape without human interaction. Mission Parameters Clear.

Emit Black Cat Energy, now!

I pushed the cart forward, and the store name, Sprout and Spoon, lit up before me. People were walking by, some running in to grab something quick, others walking out with a cart full of groceries.

I took a deep breath. I don’t have to talk to anyone.

I can just hiss.

Yeah, just hiss. Let the new people of town know what a bitch you are in person.

I bit down on my lip, my fake fangs almost drawing blood.

The automatic doors opened, and I sighed in relief. No one was around.

As I stepped forward, the hood with black cat ears fell off.

“Hey!” a voice yelled to the right of me. “You must be new here!”

Well, fuck!