Chapter 6
Kayog
Ifelt her approach long before she landed.
A wave of gratitude swelled within me, even as I drowned in sorrow.
The subtle knock on the door before she entered wrested a reluctant smile from me.
She’d always been overly respectful, even though she knew I was fully aware of her presence.
I didn’t have to bid her come in for her to open the door.
Without a word, Isobel walked to the center of the living area where I was sitting on my haunches in my failed attempt at meditating.
She stopped a couple of steps in front of me.
I just drew her closer as I propped myself up on my knees, wrapped my arms around her waist, and pressed my cheek against her stomach.
Still silent, she caressed my head as tears trickled down my face.
She didn’t need me to speak to understand after years of trying to help me find a peace that never came.
I couldn’t say how long we remained like this before I finally released her.
I sat back down on my haunches and wiped my tears.
Through the years, I’d often gone through hard times, but I couldn’t remember ever feeling this defeated.
Isobel knelt in front of me and wiped out the lingering moisture from my face with two fingers.
“Are you feeling a little better?” she asked at last.
Crushed by despair, I shook my head. “I’m tired, Isobel. So very tired... I don’t think I can do this anymore.”
“DO NOT speak that way or even think such things,” she said sternly. “You have fought too long and too hard to give up now when you have so much to live for. You’re stronger than this.”
“I’m bruising way too fast now,” I said. “At this rate, I will soon have to completely isolate myself to even be remotely able to function.”
Isobel pursed her lips as she reflected on my words then nodded slowly. “So it seems.”
“I think it’s her causing it,” I replied, my throat painfully constricted.
“Your peaceful dove?” Isobel asked in a gentle voice.
I nodded. “Yes. Her name is Linsea. Her song is so incredibly beautiful. I want to wrap myself in it, and lose myself in her, shut out anything other than her. But being near Linsea is like opening the floodgates. I feel and hear too much. It’s like I’m being bombarded from every angle, and my brain is scraped raw all the time. ”
Isobel frowned as I took a shuddering breath. Even now, the pounding in my head remained relentless, and a sharp pain continued stabbing at my brain, especially behind my eyes.
“Have you tested your levels?” she asked, studying my face.
My shoulders slouched. “Yes. And they’re off the charts. Nothing I do improves my situation. It’s been steadily getting worse over the past two years, but now it’s completely out of control.”
She reached for my right hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. Despite her efforts to keep her emotions positive, the helplessness and despair within her shone through and echoed my own.
“She thinks I’m a savage beast and a junkie,” I said bitterly, the disgust and disappointment my actions had awakened in Linsea still cutting me to the core.
“You’re not!” Isobel exclaimed, offended on my behalf.
“Really?” I asked with a hint of challenge.
She recoiled and gave me a shocked look.
“Kayog, how can you say such a thing? You know perfectly well that you’re not a junkie.
This is not an addictive drug, and you only take it in extreme cases as needed.
I can see why she might have misinterpreted what she saw.
The main question is whether you told her. ”
“That I’m crazy?” I asked, dejectedly. “Yeah, I did.”
“You’re not crazy,” Isobel replied sternly, the disapproval in her voice striking me hard.
She had been the only one to have always seen me as a person, not a broken freak, not an abomination to be wiped out.
In the six years since I had met her, Isobel had turned every stone and used any resources she could to try and help me.
She was more than a friend. To me, she was the sister I never had, and at times almost a mother figure—despite us being the same age.
“Why can’t I be normal?” I asked in a broken voice. “Why can’t I be with her?”
“You can be, Kayog,” Isobel said forcefully. “But you must talk to her. Once you explain your condition—”
“I can’t be fixed, Isobel!” I snapped. “We’ve tried everything!”
She waved a dismissive hand. “Millions of people across the galaxy live with their disabilities. There’s no reason for it to be any different for you. In the meantime, we continue to look for a solution for you. But talk to her, Kayog.”
I slowly shook my head, my gaze going out of focus as I replayed the scene in my head.
“You didn’t see how she looked at me or how she felt after I dropped that human down the tree. In that instant, Linsea was afraid of me. She thought I looked like a monster,” I said, a stabbing pain slashing at my heart.
Isobel sighed and caressed my forearm in a soothing fashion.
“I can see why. In her place, I might have reacted the same if I didn’t know the truth about you. But you said she’s your soulmate.”
“She is,” I said in a tone that brooked no argument.
“Then talk to her!” Isobel exclaimed as if she wanted to smack me for being irrationally stubborn.
“The Maker didn’t pair you for nothing. Linsea entered your life because you are meant to work out somehow.
Fate intended for you to meet now when things are reaching their critical point.
Together, I have no doubt you will find the solution I failed to provide for you. ”
“You didn’t fail,” I countered passionately, guilt twisting my insides that I might have made her feel inadequate or like I wasn’t grateful for all that she had done. “Your friendship and support are what gave me hope and kept me going this whole time.”
“Then let me continue to support you through this by heeding my advice. Talk. To. Her. You deserve to be happy, Kayog. You are the kindest soul I know.”
I snorted with self-derision. “Yeah, well this all might be a moot point. I will likely get expelled after my stunt.”
Isobel shook her head with a conviction that took me aback. “You won’t. Celeste—the Nazhral female you rescued—vouched to the fact that you were saving her. All the witnesses concurred with her statement. Sure, you might get slapped on the wrist for excessive force, but it was three against one.”
“They’re still likely the children of very influential parents,” I countered. “They don’t just let anyone into Acadia. Surely their parents are going to demand some form of justice.”
“Nope,” she said with an unusual smugness laced with a hard glint in her eyes.
“Those three boys have been problematic from the beginning. Yes, their parents are influential and the only reason they actually got in. In truth, you did the school a favor by giving them the excuse they needed to potentially expel them. But you’re going to be fine. I confirmed it before coming here.”
Despite my current predicament, a wave of relief washed over me. I didn’t know how to move forward from here. But I liked that the choice hadn’t been taken out of my hands as would have been the case had I been expelled.
“For the record, Director Colin snooped around and meddled quite a bit after the incident,” Isobel said pensively. “I think he may have put his thumb on the scale in your favor.”
“Really?” I asked, stunned. “What did he tell them?”
“No clue,” she replied in an apologetic tone. “But he’s extremely curious about you. When he questioned the other students about the incident, he also drilled them about you as a person.”
“Fuck,” I muttered. “Now he’s going to be even more on my ass. He thinks I’m the Good Samaritan.”
“Are you?” Isobel asked, her face unreadable as she held my gaze unwaveringly.
Any other person staring at her would have had no clue as to what thoughts crossed her mind.
With my empathic abilities, I could read clearly that she believed I was.
Although she didn’t approve of vigilantism or violence in general, she also didn’t condemn me for whatever measures I might have used to protect the innocent.
I didn’t answer but didn’t avert my eyes.
She snorted. “Figures. I suspected as much from the first time I heard of a timely rescue.”
“I fly around a lot at night when I can’t sleep,” I said in a non-committal fashion.
“And your emphatic abilities conveniently lead you to stumble on the damsels in distress?” Isobel asked in a teasing tone.
I smiled. “Actually, it’s more like ‘dudes’ in distress, as humans like to say. But who’s keeping count?”
She chuckled and shook her head affectionately at me.
“For what it’s worth, I cannot take credit for every instance of timely rescues. There are others out there who aren’t okay with innocents getting harmed.”
She tilted her head to the side and gave me an assessing look. “Enforcers are extremely resourceful and spare no expense for the welfare of their troops. Have you considered joining them?”
I shook my head with conviction. “The minute they find out more about me, they’ll probably have me committed or turn me into some sort of lab rat. I’ve had it with institutions.”
She pinched her lips into a disappointed but resigned expression. “Yeah… I get it.”
By the look she gave me, Isobel appeared to want to say something else but thought better of it.
Reaching for my face, she peered into each of my eyes, likely assessing just how badly they had to be bloodshot right now.
My friend then pushed back up onto her feet and ran the scanner from her armband over my head.
The way her brow creased as she examined the result on the interface told me everything I needed to know.
“There’s still a great deal of swelling. Take another pill and then we can meditate together,” Isobel said in a commanding tone.
I nodded, lobbed another pill into my mouth, and assumed the Lotus position as my friend did the same. It wouldn’t fix me, but it would help bring some peace into the endless chaos of my mind.