12. Chapter 12
Chapter 12
Emily
A ll I needed to do today was write to make up for my lack of writing yesterday, then go grocery shopping. Unfortunately, my upstairs neighbor had a visitor, and the noises were distracting me. I hadn’t written a word since the person showed up, and I was growing more and more frustrated. As the noises upstairs got louder, I sighed in annoyance and unbraided the small section of my hair I absent-mindedly braided repeatedly when I was trying to focus on a writing task. It was one of those small habits that kept my hands busy.
Deep grunts, what sounded like furniture breaking, and even some yelling came through my ceiling before I couldn’t handle it anymore. Rearranging my plans, I jumped up from my desk and strolled across the living room. Grabbing my purse, I hoped I could shop for an hour and then she would be done with whoever it was upstairs. I threw on my navy blue peacoat and opened my door.
Stepping out, I pulled my door closed before digging in my purse for my keys. Finding them, I locked up fast and turned to leave only to be frozen to the spot in front of my door.
“Ryan, it’s just toys! You’re thirty-six for fuck’s sake. Grow up!” My upstairs neighbor shouted before a door slammed shut.
Not two seconds later, who came jogging down the stairs but my Ryan. I mean, he wasn’t my Ryan, obviously. A pang of disappointment ran through me realizing he was with my neighbor. Oh god! I had a crush on a taken man?
He hadn’t told me he was dating anyone, and there was definite flirting. But was he flirting because I was flirting? How should I respond to this? My first instinct was to be pissed and go off on him, but my normally quiet nature struck that reaction down with the quickness. Nervousness settled in my stomach as my brain warred with the options.
I didn’t know if I even had a right to be upset. He wasn’t mine. But shouldn’t he have said he was seeing someone?
“Emily.” Ryan paused on the stairs and stared at me.
“Hi,” I choked out.
“You live here?” He asked.
“Yep.” I nodded and then turned and took a few steps for the stairs.
Jogging down them as quickly as I could, without tripping and taking a tumble, Ryan’s steps pounded against the stairs after me. Of course he was catching up with his height. I wasn’t short at five-seven, but he was at least six or seven inches taller than me.
“So, uh, how are you?” Ryan asked as we reached the bottom floor.
“Uh, great. I’m going to pick up a few things from the store.”
I rushed toward the building's door and pushed it open, needing the cool spring air on my heated face. I breathed in hoping to calm my racing heart and cool the disappointment and jealousy roiling in my chest. Why the hell was I acting like this? What did it matter to me? We weren’t together. I had no claims over him. Maybe it was because he hadn’t mentioned having a girlfriend, which should always be the first thing a man mentions when talking to a woman.
Should it though? As a woman who could have a boyfriend, I would want him to be clear he was taken. But, if it was only a friendly conversation, no exchange of numbers, would it be necessary?
Members of different sexes could be friends without there being anything sexual. We were friendly, and I figured he would have at least mentioned he had a girlfriend. Some small tidbit or story where he would say, “my girlfriend.” Ugh!
“Okay, well have fun,” Ryan yelled as I hustled down the sidewalk.
I threw a wave over my shoulder but kept my gaze aimed straight ahead. Of course Ryan would have a girlfriend. He was fucking hot as hell. Stupid, stupid, stupid! How could I possibly think he wouldn’t? Or that he would be interested in me? Oh my god, I’d need to move. I couldn’t possibly listen to them having sex all the time. Wait, did he know about her night job?
Nope, it was none of my damn business. Mind your business, Emily.
Raldek recommended fighting her. Meanwhile, Tabitha chastised him for the recommendation. But, I wasn’t living in my fictional world, and the mating customs of Raldek’s alien race were a bit extreme for Earth and, well, real life.
I needed to let this go, we had a few friendly, maybe slightly flirty, conversations. I didn’t need to dwell on it. He obviously wasn’t interested in me at all, and I could let go of this stupid, silly, little crush. I had my books, both the ones I was writing and the ones I was reading. Book boyfriends were much better than real ones anyway.
As I browsed the aisles of Cornerstone Grocery, a sort of bummed feeling came over me. Like I’d told Meghan, several times, I wasn’t interested in dating anyone from Maple Creek. Well, anyone who wasn’t a tall handsome librarian. But, fuck, a part of me hated the loneliness, and I didn’t feel as lonely when I was hanging out with Ryan. He made butterflies take flight in my stomach. He was funny and easy to talk to.
Well, this sucks. I was grieving the loss of a relationship that never even started. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
Groaning internally, I grabbed a few items off the shelves and tried to shove my disappointment over Ryan out of my brain. It wasn’t until I reached the check out I noticed the majority of the items I grabbed were snacks or some sort of chocolate.
Elizabeth Thompson set her inspecting gaze on my items and then up at me with a bit of disappointment in her expression, but, thankfully, she didn’t say anything as she began scanning them. Elizabeth and Rose Hill were incredibly close so I was sure this grocery order would be discussed at what I could only assume were weekly “We’re better than everyone” meetings.
After grabbing my bags, I slowly walked back toward my apartment, hoping I wouldn’t run into Ryan again.
As I climbed the stairs, the upstairs neighbor I rarely bumped into bounded down the steps in all her thin and beautiful glory. Her deep blue eyes met mine, and she smiled sweetly.
“Oh hey, I wanted to apologize to you,” she said.
Caught off guard, I paused before blinking and saying, “What for?”
Please don’t apologize for having loud sex with a guy I’d had a crush on for the longest time.
“I didn’t realize how thin our walls were, and I’ve been blaring music. I’ll buy new headphones this weekend.”
“Oh it’s not a problem. No worries,” I said, relieved we weren’t about to have an awkward as fuck conversation about the other noises too.
“Have a good day,” She sang as she continued her perky bounce down the steps.
If I had an afternoon rendezvous like she had, maybe I’d have a little pep in my step too. I hated those jealous and slightly petty thoughts. I always felt like such a bitch when they’d pop into my head. I took a deep breath in and released it, trying to chase away this horrendous attitude I suddenly had.
Reminding myself that I was a girl’s girl, I continued up the steps to my door. Unlocking it while balancing my bags on one arm and hand, I pushed the door open, and stepped inside. Kicking the door shut, I set my bags of goodies on the table before turning back to the door and locking it.
I needed to nip this funk trying to take over my brain. Ryan wasn’t anything but a friend to me, even if we’d done some flirting. On no planet should I be feeling any type of way about him dating my upstairs neighbor.
Maybe a night out to get my mind off everything and getting away from the town would do me some good. It would certainly stop my mind from spiraling like it was starting to after the years of witnessing women being pitted against each other because of men.
Pulling my phone from my back pocket, I scrolled through my contacts and dialed Meghan’s number, before pressing the phone between my ear and shoulder.
“Shouldn’t you be writing right now?” Meghan answered.
“Yes, but I can’t concentrate, and I want to go out - but not here. Let's go to Fairwood somewhere.”
Fairwood was a slightly bigger town than ours and had more choices for places to drink. While neither of us would get drunk, since the town was about an hour away, we were far less likely to run into anyone from Maple Creek. It may also mean I’d get to meet someone, flirt, and remove any idea of Ryan and me from my head once and for all.
“Ooh. You know I’ll never pass up an opportunity when you actually want to go out.”
“Great, meet here at eight?”
“Sounds great.”
Hanging up the phone, I let out a loud sigh before I set my task on putting away the depression snacks I purchased. I wasn’t going to let this bring me down. There wasn’t any reason for it. Despite logically knowing this, the pang of disappointment still had its little nails in my brain. Somehow, I let myself get my hopes up about Ryan, and I had to deal with the consequences.