Chapter 4
MYA
“Come in.”
I looked at the time to see it was two o’clock. I was sleeping so good. That was probably my problem though. I was sleeping too much during the day, keeping me from being able to sleep at night, like a baby that had his days and nights crossed up. I wiped my mouth as the door opened. My dad was at my place in Houston, so I knew it wasn’t him. He’d come this morning when he got to town and stayed for a couple of hours.
I told him to just go to my place so he could rest, and I would call him in the morning to let him know if I was getting discharged or not. There was no sense in him sitting up here all day. When the door opened, I sat up slightly and fixed my blanket to prepare for whatever medical personnel was about to be in my space.
When I saw Christian come around the corner holding a plant with a ‘get well soon’ balloon attached to it, my eyebrows lifted. I really didn’t think he would actually come, especially not after what I told him about where I stood. “Hey! Thank you!” I said a little too excitedly.
I cleared my throat as he smiled. “Hey, Mya. How you feeling?”
I watched him set the plant on the windowsill, then he walked over to my bed and grabbed my hand. I wanted to pull him to me to kiss those soft looking lips, but I resisted the urge. “I’m feeling okay. Just some nagging pain, but it isn’t debilitating. I’m ready to go home.”
“I can imagine you are. Nobody likes being in the hospital.”
I smiled slightly as he released my hand and sat in the chair next to my bed. “I honestly didn’t expect you to show up.”
He frowned somewhat. “Why? I told you I would be here.”
I shrugged my shoulders, realizing that I was about to reveal a glimpse into my past trauma about why I didn’t want to be in a relationship. “I don’t have a good track record with people who keep their word. Just my dad.”
“What about your mom?”
“She died when I was fourteen.”
“Oh, I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. We were close too. She always said exactly what she meant.” I chuckled. “My dad was here earlier. He raised me in Mesquite, and when I graduated from high school, I moved back to Houston for college.”
“What school did you go to?”
“TSU. I majored in creative writing. What school did you go to?”
“I went to Lamar Institute of Technology.”
I nodded as I watched him shift in his seat, getting comfortable. “So how did your appointments go this morning?”
“I was able to fix their issues, so I guess they went well.”
“Sounds like you’re good at what you do.”
“I am. My family ain’t the type to gas a nigga up. If I didn’t know what the hell I was doing, they would have told me by now, especially my rude ass uncle. He was my first appointment.”
I chuckled slightly. “Sounds like you’re close to your family. That’s good that you have a family you can be close to.”
“Yeah. You aren’t close to yours?”
“Not really. It isn’t because of any reason though. When my mom died, eventually, her family just stopped reaching out, especially when we moved to Mesquite. I’m an only child, so it was just me and my daddy.”
He nodded as I searched the TV for something to watch. Christian seemed extremely cool. It was like I wanted to tell him more about me, but I was guarded. I knew if I asked him questions about his life, he would turn those questions to me. “Do you have siblings, besides the one whose wife is here?”
“Yeah. I have an older brother. The one that’s here is my younger brother. I’m in the middle.”
“Is it true what they say about the middle child syndrome?”
He chuckled. “It depends on what they’re saying. Most times, people that don’t even experience that shit create the narrative.”
“You right about that shit. It just says that they are treated differently by their parents.”
“Not really. We’re all treated differently, depending on our strengths. Jakari was the most responsible, but I know that had to do with him being the oldest, not because of anything our parents did. He took his role of being a big brother seriously. Rylan and I were his little brothers. He was like a father away from our father.” He chuckled. “My mama was the same with all of us. She babied all of us but was firm at the same time, if that makes sense.”
I smiled slightly. “It makes perfect sense to me.”
“So do you consider yourself spoiled? That’s the narrative for kids when they don’t have siblings.”
I smiled bigger. “Absolutely. Spoiled rotten, especially after my mama died. My daddy didn’t spare no expense when it came to his baby.”
He chuckled. “At least you’re honest. That’s how it should be for a dad and his daughter.”
I tilted my head to make sure I saw his facial expression. He didn’t seem to be reflecting or anything, so I asked, “Do you have any kids?”
“Naw. What about you?”
I faced forward, debating if I wanted to tell him what had just happened. “No, I don’t.”
I could see him standing in my peripheral. Shit. He grabbed my hand, somewhat forcing me to look up at him. He stared at me for a moment and said, “I’m sorry for your loss.”
I frowned slightly as he rubbed my hand. After looking away and clearing my throat, I turned back to him. “I’m not. I wasn’t ready to be a mother. Plus… the father is a jackass.”
He didn’t respond to what I said. He just stared at me. It seemed like he was silently pulling the words out of me. “The baby was in my tubes, so I wasn’t pregnant long. I’d only found out a couple of weeks ago.”
He began rubbing my hand between his, and I took a deep breath. After slowly shaking my head, I said, “I do have trauma with ain’t shit niggas. I don’t even know why I’m telling you this. It’s like your presence is pulling the shit out of me.”
He leaned over and kissed my forehead, and it felt like my eyes rolled to the back of my head. “It just seemed like you needed that. Sorry if I invaded your space.”
He was about to pull his hand from mine, but I held it tighter, keeping him close for a moment longer. When I released him, he sat back in the chair he was in. It had gotten extremely quiet. I knew I was in my feelings. “Were you in a relationship with him?”
“No. I’d sworn off relationships before I met him. I guess you can say I was dickmatized. I allowed him to hit it raw with promises of pulling out, and here we are. He didn’t pull out. When I told him I was pregnant, he ghosted me.”
“That’s a fuckboy move,” he said.
“Tell me about it.”
“Well, I’m glad you allowed me to come see you. At least you aren’t alone.”
“Yeah,” I said, glancing over at him. “Me too.”
We got quiet again as I turned the TV to The View. I wasn’t really watching it, but they could possibly say something to spark further conversation between Christian and me. He shifted in his seat. “I tried to have a relationship a while ago, but we broke up after a year. The distance was hard for both of us, and neither of us wanted to move. So I guess we were just wasting each other’s time.”
“You loved her?”
“Yeah. She was real cool… sweet. But it is what it is. That shit turned me into a ho for a minute though.”
I chuckled. “I know the feeling. I feel like I’ve been in my heaux phase for a while. Had Jasmine Sullivan on repeat.”
He laughed, and God, was it a beautiful sound. “Christian, you’re cool. Listen, I know that you said you were cool with where I was on the whole relationship thing, but why are you here? Why do you wanna get to know me? I won’t be able to have sex for weeks to come.”
“The crazy part is, I don’t know. I mean, I think you’re a beautiful woman, that’s for sure. I just feel like I’m supposed to get to know you, even if it’s only in the capacity of friendship.”
I nodded slightly. Did I want to see where things went with Christian? He seemed really sweet. Being that I didn’t really have friends, I kind of wanted him close. My dad and my girl that brought me here were the only ones who knew what was going on. Honestly, Jasmine wouldn’t know if she wouldn’t have been with me.
“Do you want to be in a relationship though?” I asked.
When I glanced at him, I could see him slide his hand down his slightly red face. “Eventually, yeah.”
“Do you think it’s wise to be close to me then?”
“Well, I won’t be close. You live in Houston. It’s close enough to maintain a relationship, but it’s not close enough for me to chase you over something you don’t want.”
I gave him a slight smile. “Okay. So, what’s on your agenda today after you leave here?” I asked, changing the direction of the conversation.
“Shit, I don’t know. My cousin got one of my other cousins to help with the hay field. Once I leave here, I’ll probably go home and drink a few beers. I ain’t got shit else to do unless I get a call.”
“You take calls at the last minute?”
“Only if I don’t have any appointments scheduled. I ain’t turning down no money if I don’t have to.”
“I feel that. I put out anywhere from nine to twelve books a year so I can live. If I didn’t, I would surely have to get a traditional job.”
“That’s a lot. How does that work? I mean, how do you put the books out? I’m not a reader like that, so I’m ignorant on the subject. I do know that writing that many books in a year’s time is a lot though.”
I smiled at him. “Well, I write really fast. I can write a three-hundred-page book in three weeks, with the weekends off, if I don’t have any distractions… like this shit I’m going through. I have a lady that does my covers, another that does my editing, and yet another that does my promo.”
“So you have a team. That’s good. That’s fast to be able to write a book that long. You have a gift.”
“A gift and discipline. I have to be able to survive. Eventually, readers will run out of shit to read. If I don’t want to look for another job, I have to treat this like a job. I take days off here and there, but for the most part, Monday through Friday, I am working my ass off. I don’t think readers understand just how tedious that schedule is. They just want the next read.”
“So you’ve spoiled them.”
I chuckled. “I guess you can say that.”
“I’m gon’ have to read one though. Which one should I start with?”
“Sincerely, Her Gangsta.”
“Oh, shit. Like that, baby girl? That sound interesting as hell.”
I gave him a smirk. “I believe it’s a lot of my readers’ favorite. I hope you like it.”
“So it’s hood love shit?”
“Yep.”
“A’ight. I guess I need to download that Kindle app, right?”
“Yeah. You truly aren’t a reader if you don’t even have the app.”
I giggled as he smiled. “Naw, but I got a feeling I’m about to become a reader. You gon’ mess around and become my bestie and shit, girl.”
I laughed and had to grab my stomach. He quickly stood and came to my side, grabbing my hand. “You okay?”
I nodded as I closed my eyes. “That shit hurt like hell. I knew better than to laugh like that.”
“I apologize. You have a beautiful laugh.”
“It’s loud and obnoxious.”
“Mm hmm,” he said. “Like I said… beautiful.”
Man, he was fucking with me. This man had me all in my damn feelings, and I barely knew him. He brought his hand to my stomach, and I could feel the heat from it. My stomach was feeling better already. I stared at him as he stared at my stomach. I wasn’t sure why he was staring the way he was, but when he looked up at me, he asked, “Has it eased any, Mya?”
The way he said my name had the ice melting around my heart. I could not let this nigga make a fool out of me. I friend-zoned him for a reason. Niggas ain’t shit. “Yeah. Thank you.”
He smiled and went back to his seat, grabbing his phone to continue what he was doing. “Okay. I got this Kindle app downloaded. Now what?”
“Go to Amazon and look the book up in the search bar. Sincerely, Your Gangsta by Mya.”
He quickly did what I said to do, then said, “Damn. You have a lot of books. How many have you written?”
“Twenty-five. I’m supposed to be working on book twenty-six, but reckless living caught up with me.”
He glanced up at me then said, “I just purchased your entire catalog.”
My mouth fell open. “Really? Why?”
“I know what you said about your heaux phase and whatnot, but when you heal up, I want you to show that phase to me. No labels… just, I want more than the heaux part of it. I wanna take you out and shit. Introduce you to the crazy ass Hendersons as my homegirl. For some reason, I just wanna support the fuck out of you in whatever capacity I can. If you need me to be a rider in your career, I got’chu. If you need me to stroke that pussy right, I got’chu in that shit too.”
Now, I had just had surgery to remove a baby from my fallopian tube, and my shit had the nerve to jump in excitement. What in the fuck was wrong with me? This man was stroking every sensitive nerve in my fucking body, and for a second time, he had me speechless. What the fuck?
“Mya.”
I looked over at him. “Yeah?”
“I’m talking to you, girl.”
“Christian, I’m extremely independent. I don’t?—”
“Hol’ the hell up. Ain’t nobody talking about being your sugar daddy. I just want the sugar… to be your friend with benefits. Yes or no.”
“What if I agree to everything except meeting the family?”
He remained quiet and started playing on his phone. I wasn’t sure about meeting a family I had no desire being a part of. I didn’t want to give off the wrong impression. I was more than sure they saw him walking me to my room last night. They would make shit out to be more than it was, then I would accuse him of telling them that it was. No thank you.
He really seemed like a nice guy, but that authoritativeness in him had my pussy cutting flips. I was thinking hard. I didn’t want to take a chance again and risk getting hurt. “I can’t get the friendship either, Christian?”
He stared up at me for a moment. “I already extended that. I don’t renege on my word unless you give me reason to.”
He went back to his phone. It felt like he was reneging. He was so quiet. “What are you doing?” I asked.
“Reading.”
He sat back and put his feet up on the couch next to the chair he was seated in. I took a deep breath and decided to just go to sleep.