Chapter 11 #2
He sighed and ran his hand through his hair.
The whole situation made him extremely uncomfortable.
He opened doors, bras, and beer bottles — not himself.
But he might never be able to sleep properly again if he didn’t pull himself together and be honest and direct.
Apparently, he did have a conscience after all.
That surprised him as much as it surprised everyone who had ever had anything to do with him.
“Okay. If you promise not to overreact, can I ask you something?”
“Oh no,” Connor stated dryly. “It’s time. He finally wants to know where babies come from.”
“Storks, Gare. They’re storks.”
Gareth narrowed his eyes.
“Oh, shit. He means it.”
Great. He really was getting too many shocked looks today. “Forget it,” he muttered.
“No, no!” Cian raised his hand. “Sorry. What do you want to ask? We’ll listen and try.”
He sighed. “Okay. Have I…become too rigorous? Colder than I was?”
Perplexed, Cian opened his mouth and exchanged a look with Connor.
“What makes you think that?” Connor asked casually.
He laughed dryly. “Hazel.”
“Hazel told you you’ve become too rigorous?” Stunned, Cian looked at him.
“Among other things.”
Connor waved his hand dismissively. “She’s your ex-girlfriend. She just wanted to hurt you.”
“No. She purposefully annoys me and makes my life miserable, but she…she doesn’t deliberately hurt me. That’s not her style. And stop exchanging those damn looks!”
Because his friends had done it again.
Cian sighed and gently patted him on the shoulder. “You know you’re a little cold and more automaton than human, Gareth. We don’t need to tell you that.”
He snorted. “And here I was hoping to be at least a humanoid robot.”
Connor clicked his tongue. “You know what he means. You’ve always been secretive and preferred to keep your life impersonal. Which isn’t to say you can’t be warm or that you don’t care about people. We’re not chopped liver to you, neither are Penny and Ada. Lacey…at least you like her.”
“And it’s perfectly fine that you have so few people to show your true self to,” Cian chimed in. “But since you became the official owner of the Hawks, you’ve been a bit…extreme.”
“Extreme,” he asked uneasily. “With what?”
“With everything?” Connor offered. “You’re working even longer hours, taking even fewer breaks, and you're often only physically present but not mentally present. I know you want to prove your father wrong and show him that you’re better than him at running the team, but…
man, you used to enjoy your job. I don’t feel like that’s the case anymore.
You’ve worked your whole life to get to this point — but are you actually enjoying it?
That you’ve achieved everything you dreamed of in college? ”
Gareth gritted his teeth and lowered his gaze. He did ask, but he should have known he didn’t want an answer.
Because Connor was wrong. Nothing was as he’d imagined it would be in college.
And he still enjoyed his work. He liked getting things done and discussing things with agents.
But…he was so incredibly exhausted. Had he always been so exhausted?
In the past, every confrontation with opposing counsel had energized him. But now…
“Thanks,” he murmured. “For being honest. Hazel said most people would be too afraid of me for that.”
“Oh, Hazel…” Cian murmured.
“Yeah, that’s what I said.”
“No: Oh, Hazel!” Connor said louder, nodding over his shoulder.
Surprised, Gareth turned — and his heart twisted strangely in his chest when he recognized Hazel, stomping purposefully toward their table.
She was wearing her usual armor: a pencil skirt, blouse, and a pair of high heels that were better for killing than walking in.
And, as always, it took an unhealthy amount of willpower for Gareth to focus only on her face and not on how her skirt clung to her ample hips, which he wanted to wrap his hands around.
Or how her blouse clung to her breasts, making him jealous of the damned material, and how the high heels showed off her legs even though they didn’t need to.
“Gareth, why aren’t you answering your phone? It’s about the only thing anyone can rely on you to do!” she said in greeting, dissatisfied.
“What the hell are you doing here?” he snapped. He couldn’t help it. It slipped out purely out of self-protection. It was bad enough that she was infiltrating his mind, she couldn't just start showing up out of nowhere now!
She raised her eyebrows. “Oh. Were you just being rude while Cian and Connor are present?”
Shit. “No. That wasn’t rude.”
“It was a little rude,” Connor mumbled.
He glanced at him, annoyed. “Whose side are you on?”
“On the side of politeness?”
Hazel grinned broadly. “That means a punishment,” she mouthed so Connor and Cian couldn’t hear it.
Fuck. “Hello, Hazel,” he said, catching himself, even though he sounded as wooden as a tree. “What are you doing here?”
“We’ve spontaneously rescheduled the contract signing. Penny and Fox are waiting upstairs.”
Gareth blinked. “I don’t reschedule…”
“Yeah, yeah, you don’t reschedule appointments, but Penny had a sudden emergency that she has to take care of in an hour, so she can only do it now, and…I thought it would be wise to have her with me.”
Because then they’d have to behave. Right.
He closed his eyes. “Okay. I’m done eating anyway. Let’s go.”
He said goodbye to Cian and Connor, wishing they'd quit exchanging their meaningful glances, and led Hazel to the elevators for the conference rooms.
Stepping into an empty elevator, Hazel pressed the button for the third floor, and they rode up in silence. Gareth didn’t know what to say. He wasn’t good at small talk and even worse at speaking normally to Hazel. They were better off just not trying.
Hazel seemed to think otherwise. “Did you have a nice day?”
“So-so.”
“Ah.”
He saw in the reflection of the elevator door that she was looking at him, but there was still too much chaos raging in his mind, his body, and his hands to risk another glance in her direction. Did she have any idea how much of his years of practiced control he wasted on her every day?
“I can’t think of anything else to talk about except the weather,” Hazel muttered dejectedly. “But we’re not allowed to. Why not? We should have left the weather alone! Strange cloud formations are a prime topic of conversation.”
He had to fight a smile. He didn’t want to, but she was deliberately talking nonsense to lighten the mood!
The elevator stopped on the third floor, the doors slid open, and without a word, he stepped out. Only a few more yards to the conference room and they would have made it without…
“Oh, shit, Gareth. This is terrible.” Hazel stopped abruptly.
Shit.
“I’m sorry, okay? I know I went too far on Monday, but you asked me and I wanted to be honest and…and we both said things we shouldn’t have. Can we forget the whole thing and carry on like before?”
Gareth took a deep breath, paused, and turned slowly to face her, forcing himself to look into her eyes.
Carry on like before? No. Something had to change.
This was too exhausting. He couldn’t go without sleep for a dozen more nights because he was thinking about her.
He’d hoped the contract would take care of that — because he didn’t have the energy to make an effort.
But a few paragraphs weren’t magic, and Hazel was right: He needed to start making an effort with people again.
Not only at work, although that had always been his biggest problem.
“No, I should apologize,” he said quietly, rubbing his eyebrows with his index finger and thumb.
“Hazel, I’m truly sorry you thought I was waging a vendetta against you.
Or trying to make you feel like you weren’t good enough for the Hawks.
You’ll just have to believe me when I say that’s not even remotely true.
I didn’t mean to yell at you. I didn’t mean to lose control. I should have handled it better.”
Perplexed, Hazel opened her mouth, but he wasn’t finished.
“I have to let go. I thought I had, but I guess I haven’t.
” He laughed mirthlessly and rubbed his forehead.
“In my mind, everything between us is so incredibly complex. So vast and impenetrable. But ultimately, it’s simple: The past is the past. Maybe you’re right, maybe I’m not the man I was and you’re not the woman you were back then.
We should stop being angry at our younger selves.
I certainly want to. It costs me…too damn much if I don’t.
” He held her gaze because he owed it to her to look at her, if only so she’d believe him.
“Can we just call a truce and start over? Isn’t that what the treaty is for? ”
Hazel blinked and looked at him as if she didn’t recognize him. Maybe that was okay. Maybe it was better if they didn’t recognize each other, but started over.
She stared into his face for what seemed like eternity, her expression unreadable.
“Okay,” she finally replied softly. “We can try. But you’ll still receive a punishment for earlier.”
He smiled.
Others might have said that last sentence wasn’t a good start to a truce, but he knew better. Hazel was making it easy for him to move on and forget about it. She knew how damn difficult it was for him.
“Okay, think of something. I’ll be the judge if it’s appropriate.”
“Oh, I won’t judge you too harshly.” Hesitantly, she returned his smile. “Quick question: Can you juggle? And would it be too much to ask you to dress up as a clown and perform at Moreau's daughter's birthday party?”
“Shit. I think I need a lawyer.”
She laughed — seemingly just as surprised by it as he was. “Is it the costume that bothers you, or is it all the kids?”
“Yes.”
“Damn. That's limiting my creativity a bit.” Sighing, she walked past him toward conference room C. “You need to broaden your horizons, Gareth.”
“And since we’re exchanging universal truths, your mouth is too big.”
“Big beats small,” she stated, pushing open the conference room door, behind which Penny and Fox were waiting.
“Hey,” Fox greeted her, waving his contract. “Why don’t I get any more gummy bears for goals?”
“Because Gareth isn’t going to indulge you,” Hazel replied dramatically.
Fox looked at him, shaking his head. “Not cool, boss. What if we change it to Snickers?”
Gareth sighed. “Discuss it with Penny,” he muttered. “I need to make a quick phone call.”
He remembered telling Lacey he’d call her after lunch.
“Okay,” Hazel said, giving him a hesitant glance over her shoulder before closing the door.
Gareth dialed Lacey’s number. She answered on the third ring.
He asked her how she was and if she was upset about having to cover tonight. She said everything was great, apologized several times for standing him up, and immediately offered three new dates. He could only make one, but that made the choice easier.
Uncomplicated. Everything was uncomplicated with her.
And yet…he wondered…
“Lacey, I have to go, but can I ask you something?”
“Sure,” she said warmly. “What is it?”
“Do you think I’m too cold and rigorous?”
Stunned silence followed his question before her words tumbled out of her mouth a little too quickly. “What? No. You’re…ambitious. You pursue your goals. You may be more of a loner, but not rigorous or cold.”
He nodded slowly. “Thanks,” he murmured. “Break a leg tonight.”
After they said goodbye and hung up, Gareth stood in the hallway, staring at his phone.
She lied. Ambitious.
She liked him. She didn’t want to hurt him. She wanted it uncomplicated. No drama, no arguments. Just like he wanted it. She would never tell him what he didn’t want to hear. And for the first time, he thought that might be a bad thing.
His phone vibrated, and he glanced at the screen. Hazel had sent him a text.
I’ve come up with your punishment: I’ll be in Philadelphia next week, visiting clients. I need someone to water my plants. I’ll leave a key with my doorman. Have fun!
He laughed dryly.
The task was simple enough.
It turned out he forgot to do it, anyway. Which meant that the following Monday evening, after a fourteen-hour day at the office, he had to drive to Hazel’s and replace all her dead plants.