Chapter 17 #2
Seemingly unfazed by his change in direction, the slim dark-haired man kept talking animatedly in that odd hushed tone.
What was worse was that he looked to be a weird hybrid between a human and a Sankado.
And if that was what our babies were gonna look like, with their weird eyes too far apart and horns that looked like overgrown flesh sprouts, then no thank you.
This breeding program is doomed to fail.
Sliding into the chair, I commandeered another fork into a bite of broccoli, only to have a large hand pin my wrist to the table. More food was sacrificed to the floor.
I looked up at him, exasperated. “It’s like you want ants.”
“What if it’s an aphrodisiac?” he growled.
I twisted out of his hold and folded my hands together, set my elbows on the table, and looked up at him. “Hello, sir.”
“Hello, woman.”
“I don’t waste food. Nor do I date men who waste food.
Which means I’ll get through this Crucible without you.
” I gestured to his horns. “That spiky upgrade you got was because of me, and thanks to that, it sounds like you got everything you needed from Dory’s man.
Now you and all your merry band of kidnapping assholes can go back to your circle jerk.
Enjoy it. It’s the last thing I’m ever gonna do for you.
Fuck off and let me enjoy the rest of this date. ”
The king wasn’t considerate enough to fuck off; instead he chose to relieve the dark-haired android of his chair and linger across from me while I ate. Menacingly.
Refusing to look up from my meal, I said, “I’m not sharing.”
“I don’t want you to fucking share.”
Sighing, I set down my utensils and met his gaze. “Then what do you want?”
Osid looked to his left, then his right.
Then he put a hand over his heart as if in shock.
“Me? You’re finally asking me what I want?
” He leaned forward and rested his arms on the table.
“I thought I was doomed to sit here and watch which poison you choose to suffer through instead of listening to your mate.”
It was my turn to look around. “They brought Subject B in here already?”
Teal eyes clawed at me like talons. Through clenched teeth, he asked, “Tell me, wife, any numbness set in?” He brought his hand up and flexed his fingers. “Any tingling of digits yet?”
“If I pretend to choke to death, will you go away and let me eat?”
Osid crossed his arms over his chest and took a long breath. “I’m being unfair—”
“Ya think?” I asked. “Look, speaking to you normally isn’t working, so how about a limerick?
” Without waiting for a response, I continued, “There once was a man from Waffles, who threw innocent women in coffles. But his supposed mate, named Blair, escaped and did solemnly swear, if he did it again, she’d spill his offals. ”
“I told you I’m not from here. We were taken from our home planet.”
My head fell to my hands. “Your Highness, just shut the fuck up.”
“My title sounds like venom on your lips. You will address me as just Osid.”
“You don’t call me by my name.”
He looked surprised by this. “Call me by my name, Blair.”
“…No.”
Smoke rose from behind him, yet his face was schooled into impassive professionalism.
“You’ve every right to be angry with me due to the unpleasantness I’ve shown you at first. As king, I must do whatever is necessary to ensure the survival of my people, and that means taking advantage of any opportunity I’m dealt, but I am willing to apologize if it means we can move forward. ”
“An apology with conditions is not an apology.”
A large plume bellowed behind him. It was only by the grace of the Biwban’s lack of OSHA regulations that fire alarms weren’t blaring overhead.
“You wicked, venomous creature! A king is trying to own up to his mistakes, and you throw it back at him. A lesser man would mount your head outside the fortress walls for the scavengers to pick at.”
Rage blinded me. “You chained me to the bully from The Land Before Time!”
He tilted his head, confused. “The horncrest?”
“Yes, the triceratops!” I got up from my seat, gathered my plate, and prepared to switch tables. But when I turned around, every other table dissolved into a sea of pixels and vanished into the floor. Behind me, Osid chuckled and nudged my chair out with his hoof.
“You are so lucky they lost my pistol,” I said, setting my plate back down.
“I’m sure you can find another way to maim me if you put your mind to it.”
We both eyed the fork in my hand.
He rested his head on his hand and watched me eat. “What is that slop anyway?”
“Seeing as you wasted your plate, you’ll never know.”
He grinned. “I’ve already apologized, do you really intend to not let this go?”
“You did not apologize.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Unforgiven.”
“Wicked woman. What would you like then, eh? You’ve already left me bound and gagged just moments ago, and you are still unsatisfied.
Tell me what you desire, and if it is within my power, you’ll have it.
Just work with me here so we can escape.
We’ll need to find the female enclosure as soon as possible before that bastard general and his mates tell their clans about it. ”
“And why would I care if they do that?”
“If what they say is true, then this enclosure is the one place on this planet that has women. Which means it’s the only chance our kingdom has for survival.
With women, we could even restore Dulba to its former status as an empire.
Once word gets out, every clan will be sending out their strongest war parties to try to claim the territory for themselves.
We need to figure out its location as soon as possible and claim it. ”
“We?”
“Yes, we. You are my queen now, which means you have the same duty to our people that I do.”
“It’s like we’re still speaking different languages.” I fished the Tamagotchi out from under my shirt and held it up. Osid’s avatar was still slumped over the empty affection meter. “You see this sad, tiny man crying over the empty bar?”
“Well, I don’t think he’s crying, exactly.”
“That is what I think of you. I don’t know what part of this conversation made you think I’ve agreed to be your queen, your mate, your personal trainer, or anything else, but I promise you, I haven’t. Your people are your problem.”
I felt the flare in his temper through the heat that radiated off him, but before he could respond, the speaker’s voice returned.
“Emotional dissonance detected,” it announced, as if diagnosing a glitch. “Relationship progress is suboptimal. Introducing additional variables to encourage bonding under duress.”
“Under…duress?” I asked.
The front door to the restaurant kicked open, and a group of figures strode in—leather jackets, slicked-back hair, and the swagger of 1970s Grease gangsters.
They wore sunglasses despite the dim lighting, their grins sharp and menacing as they fanned out.
To my utter fucking befuddlement, the lot of them started snapping in unison while walking over to our table.