34. Weston
34
Weston
D aisy is quiet on the drive back from the restaurant. I think we’re both a little shaken after almost getting caught by Rex. I mean, what the fuck was he doing there , of all places?
“Thanks for dinner,” Daisy murmurs as I pull the car into the driveway and shut off the engine.
“You’re welcome, babygirl.”
I press a kiss to the back of her hand, and she gives me a faint smile before letting herself out of the car and silently walking up the path. I follow suit, opening the front door to toe off my loafers. We head to the bedroom where she perches on the end of the bed, looking pensive. I wander to the sliding glass door, gazing out to the pool below. The moon hangs high and bright in the sky, making the pool water shimmer with silver. The night air is hot and sticky, and I’m restless as I unbutton my shirt and cast it aside.
“Let’s swim,” I say, glancing back at Daisy.
She blinks as she surfaces from her thoughts. “In the ocean?”
“The pool.” I fish my swimming trunks out of the dresser. “It’s nice at night.”
A smile brushes her lips. “Okay.”
I turn away as she changes, knowing that if I see her naked we won’t make it to the pool, but when I find her in that white string bikini, it’s still a battle to head outside. I have to march ahead of her, straight to the pool’s edge, without looking back.
I dive head-first into the water, the cold doing little to ease my agitation. Daisy gingerly lowers herself down the pool ladder, and I begin to swim a few laps, attempting to settle my whirling thoughts.
The way Daisy asked about Jess at dinner made my heart clench. It’s been great to spend time with him that doesn’t involve eye-rolls and strained silences. The night we watched the game was just like old times, and it felt so good to hang out with him again. As much as I wanted to share that with Daisy, I have to remember they used to date. Not only that, he didn’t treat her well. I wasn’t sure if she would want to hear about how I’m enjoying spending time with the guy who was a jerk to her. That she does shows how much she cares, and knowing I can talk to her about my son, even with their history, means the world to me.
What I didn’t say is that it’s also been impossibly hard to be away from her all week. My bed somehow feels even emptier now, and while I love spending time with my son, his presence in the house has come at the cost of having her there. I’m beginning to wonder if that’s too high a price to pay.
Almost running into Rex tonight was a wakeup call. When I saw him standing at the table with Daisy, my stomach dissolved. I’m fucking lucky he didn’t see me, but even him seeing Daisy was bad enough. He might be a pain in the ass but he’s not stupid, and he could put two and two together. I can only pray his date distracted him enough to not give much thought to Daisy’s presence at an upscale restaurant only ten minutes from my beach house.
What we’re doing isn’t sustainable. I know that. It’s not fair to keep this from Jess, to make Daisy feel like we have to hide. It’s not fair on myself, seesawing between the guilt at lying to my son and the longing for Daisy when she can’t be with me. I believe what Pauline said, that I deserve something good, and I know that something, or rather someone , is Daisy. She’s the light in my life, the one who brought me back from the brink, who helped me reconnect with my son, who made me remember how good it feels to be alive. She’s more than I could possibly have dreamed of.
I just don’t know how to keep her without losing Jess.
When I surface from my laps, I lean back against the tiled edge of the pool, watching Daisy paddle through the dark water. Her pale skin glows in the moonlight, giving her the look of a mythical creature from another world. For all the magic she’s brought into my life, she may as well be.
She swims across to rest beside me, smiling as she leans her head back to gaze at the moon. “It’s so beautiful here.”
I hum in agreement, but I’m not looking at the scenery. I’m looking at the woman next to me. Beautiful doesn’t even begin to describe her.
“Why don’t you have any pictures of Lydia up at home?”
Her words take me by surprise, and I falter, dragging my gaze away as she turns to look at me.
“You don’t have any family pictures, or anything that looks like it belongs to a woman,” Daisy adds gently. “I didn’t realize until I saw the picture of Lydia on your dresser here.”
“I…” My breath trickles out. I can feel Daisy’s eyes on the side of my face as I try to find the words to explain why I hid everything that reminded me of Lydia. “I did, for a while, but it was too hard, seeing her face all the time, seeing her stuff everywhere. I guess it was an act of self-preservation.” I chuff a grim laugh. “Maybe not the best approach, but it made it easier.”
“I get that,” Daisy murmurs, circling her hands through the water. “What about now?”
I lower my gaze to meet hers. “What do you mean?”
“It’s been three years. I’m not saying it would be easy to be reminded of her more, but maybe it wouldn’t be quite so hard now.”
I nod. She’s probably right. I’ll always miss Lydia, but the feeling doesn’t crush me like it used to.
“You should put some pictures up.” Daisy gives me a tentative, encouraging smile. “You should see her and remember her every day.”
My brows tug together curiously. Though I don’t disagree with her, it seems odd that my new girlfriend would want me to cling to memories of my late wife.
“Would you be comfortable with that?” I ask.
Daisy gives me a strange look. “Of course. Why wouldn’t I be?”
“Well, I haven’t thought about it all that much, but… I guess I figured you’d want me to focus on you. That you wouldn’t want pictures of another woman in my house.”
“ Another woman ?” Daisy twists in the water to face me, her expression incredulous. “She’s not some other woman, Weston. She’s Jesse’s mom. You were a family.” Her voice thickens, eyes shining with emotion in the moonlight. “I know she’ll always hold a special place in your heart. You should acknowledge that. We should acknowledge that. Don’t hide her away because of me. It’s not right.”
I stare at Daisy in disbelief, my heart a hot ember in my chest.
Holy shit, I am so in love with her. How could I not be? She can’t stand the thought of me not honoring Lydia’s memory. She’s actually upset at the notion of me not keeping Lydia in my home, in my heart. I never dreamed I could meet someone who would understand the fine line I have to walk between loving my late wife while also moving on with someone new. But that’s Daisy; mature and thoughtful and so fucking selfless it hurts.
I reach for her hand, the feeling of love mingling with grief in my ribcage. I’d never considered how much the two emotions fit together, but they do. They have to. There’s love in grief—love that has nowhere to go when you lose someone—but there’s grief in love, too, knowing that one day you could lose the person you love. That you will lose them, eventually, because nothing in this world is permanent.
And if losing Lydia taught me anything, it’s not to hold back a second of love.
“Come here,” I say, my voice raw as I tug Daisy roughly into my arms. She gasps in surprise, then settles against me with a little sigh. Her legs wind around my waist, arms around my neck, and I capture her mouth with mine. I only mean to kiss her, to hold her close, but she’s warm and slippery against my chest, and I can feel the heat of her center against my thickening cock through her thin bathing suit. Before I can stop myself, I tug at the ties on her bikini top, just like I imagined doing the last time I saw her in this, at Sullivan’s Cove. It slips from her chest and floats away, her perky breasts floating on the silvery surface of the water.
I dip my head to take one in my mouth, and Daisy moans into the night air. Her hands go to my trunks, and I help, kicking them off under the water. When her warm fingertips wrap around my length, stroking eagerly, I let out a low growl. I spin us so her back is against the tiled wall of the pool, sliding a knee between her parted legs. My mouth devours hers as she tugs on my cock, the heat of her core on my thigh. I lift my leg, loving the way she grinds herself on me, thinking about what she told me the last time we were together, that she fucked a pillow on her bed and imagined it was me. I’ve jerked off more than once since that night, picturing her in her room, horny and desperate as she rubbed herself on her pillow. Now she’s rubbing against my thigh, whimpering as I lift it to meet her rocking hips, the water lapping at her tits as she moves. There’s nothing sexier than this woman owning her sexuality, giving in to the things that make her feel good.
But I need to be inside her. It’s been too fucking long.
I untie the strings of her bikini bottom, wrenching it from her body. Then I wrap her legs around my waist, taking her mouth in a deep, hungry kiss as I push into the heat of her. Her breath comes out on a long, tortured moan, fingernails digging into my shoulders as I pin her to the wall of the pool, burying myself inside her.
“Fuck, Weston.” Her voice is a throaty whisper. “You’re so deep.”
“You like it deep, baby?”
She nods, wide-eyed as I withdraw and slam back into her, pool water sloshing out onto the tiles. I’m desperate to tell her I love her, that she’s turned my entire world upside down and I can’t imagine my life without her, but after our conversation about Jess, after everything with Rex tonight, I’m not sure if it’s the right time.
And if I’m being really honest, I’m fucking terrified. I know she cares a great deal for me, that much is clear, but love ? She’s only twenty-five. I’m the first guy she’s ever been intimate with, and our situation is beyond complicated. I don’t want to rush her into something she’s not ready for, pressure her to say something she’s not sure about. And once I say it, I can’t take it back.
So, no, I won’t tell her I love her. Not tonight.
But I can fuck her like there’s no tomorrow.
“Yes,” she breathes as I thrust deep inside her again. “Harder.”
“Fuck yes, babygirl.” My voice is a savage rasp as I press her into the tiles. “You want my cock?”
“Yes.”
“Tell me.”
“I want your cock. I need it.” Her mouth finds my neck and sucks. “More, Wes. Please.”
I grasp her thighs and drive myself deeper, her tight heat gripping me with every thrust. I want to fuck her so hard she feels it tomorrow, fuck her so good she’ll never dream of being with another man. I want her to know she was built for my cock, that she’s the only woman I can imagine being with now. I want to show her all the things I can’t bring myself to say.
“Tell me who you belong to,” I choke out, unable to stop myself. I need to hear her say it, need to know she understands. “Tell me, Daisy.”
“I’m yours, Wes. I’ll always be yours.”
Damn right, baby.
Under the bright moonlight, we cling to each other in the pool, our bodies moving in a frenzied, primal rhythm, the only sounds our grunts and the sloshing pool water. And as we both reach our limit and fall apart in each other’s arms, I make a vow to myself.
I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure I keep Daisy.