Chapter -3-
the Carter Family Group Chat
Aunt Cheryl Carter
EMERGENCY! Who is Denzel’s secret boyfriend?!
Nic Carter Denz + boyfriend? not a thing
Aunt Cheryl Carter ITS TRUE! Name? Occupation? Family history? I need deets ASAP!
Aunt Eva Carter-Rivera Sis please your age is showing. no one says deets
Uncle Orlando Rivera Ooh burn!
Nic Carter Uncle O stop watching EASY A!
Aunt Cheryl Carter This boyfriend better not be in the NFL. No actors or rappers either!
Nic Carter auntie your husband is literally a music producer!
Aunt Cheryl Carter A very respected one! We don’t need any more family scandals.
Kami Carter Some of us are trying to work…
Uncle Tevin Williams can someone help me find that TikTok recipe for countertop tacos? its my night to cook
Aunt Cheryl Carter Babe not now! DENZEL. HAS. A. SECRET. BOYFRIEND. Leena?
Leena Carter I just want all my children happy.
Today 2:12 P.M.
Mom Hi sweetheart! Call me ASAP!
Unsurprisingly, the news traveled fast.
Before the workday’s end, everyone around the office had heard about the newest CEO candidate: Denz . He’d barely stepped into the downstairs lobby before Corrine, the front desk receptionist, was asking all about his new boyfriend too.
“Have a great night, C!” he’d said, cheery and fake, while shouldering out the glass double doors.
Avoiding his mom? Not as easy. She’d called the second he was outside. Like she had some kind of Parent GPS on him. Over his car’s Bluetooth, he gave her quick, one-word answers before pretending to lose service in a tunnel.
He hasn’t called her back.
“Okay, okay, wait, wait,” Jamie says between wheezing laughs. He’s a hulking figure. Six foot two, all toned muscles and wavy brown hair. “Start over. I need to hear this again.”
“Again!” exclaims Mikah from his spot on the carpet, opposite Jamie.
It’s Denz’s turn to babysit. Kami is out with Suraj. It’s not lost on Denz that the real secret relationship their family group chat should be focused on is hers.
He snatches a pepperoni slice from the box on the coffee table. Tonight’s dinner: pizza and kiwi-strawberry juice pouches. He’s truly living his best adult life.
“From the top?”
He doesn’t mind recounting the last few days to Jamie.
They’ve been best friends since age fourteen, a destined meeting at their private school, Brighton Academy.
Two outsiders on a campus full of pretentious, born-rich assholes.
Technically, Jamie was one of them, but he didn’t act that way.
He was a human golden retriever going through a rebellious-skater phase.
Still new to the “established” scene, Denz was in his own preppy, sweater-obsessed phase.
(Who’s he kidding? It’s a full-on lifestyle now.)
After attending college in different cities, moving in together was the next obvious step in their lifelong companionship.
“I’m speechless.” Jamie wipes happy tears from his eyelashes. “What’re you gonna do?”
“Tell the truth?”
“That you invented a relationship to look serious for your family ?”
“Is it that bad?”
“Should I plan the funeral now or wait until the body’s cold?”
“Draw three!” Mikah shouts, smacking a SKIP and yellow 3 card on top of the red 8 card Jamie played a minute ago.
Whimpering, Jamie falls over. The Uno rules they’re playing by are preposterous and wrong, but Denz isn’t about to burst their bubble. Babysitting with Jamie is always more fun.
Their top-floor luxury apartment is cluttered by the aesthetic of two combating personalities: an HGTV DIY mood board and some Gossip Girl -esque fever dream. Denz is willing to overpay for all eleven hundred square feet if it means his best friend is one living room away.
“I need help,” he admits.
“Is it time?” Jamie says.
“Time for what?”
“To Will Thacker your love life!”
On second thought: Denz could probably survive living alone.
Will Thacker Nights are a post-college tradition. The two of them on the sofa with thin-crust pizzas and mocktails served in champagne flutes, watching and rating classic rom-coms.
Seven words started it all: “I need to believe love is real!”
That’s what Jamie yelled after one of his typical three-week relationships imploded.
History shows Jamie Peters had been “in love” at least six times before that night.
He demanded Denz watch Notting Hill with him.
Two hours and too many cackles later, Denz wasn’t convinced Hugh Grant’s character (whom their tradition is named after) deserved a second chance. At least Jamie was hopeful again.
Secretly, Denz loves rom-com endings. The big moment where someone professes their love in the most unrealistic fashion. Proposing on an airplane. Running across New York City before midnight on New Year’s. Holding a boom box over your head.
But his life isn’t a movie.
Jamie says, “We’ll find you a boyfriend.”
“How?”
“Hire someone?”
“Too expensive.” Denz folds his pizza before biting. “Also, too Pretty Woman .”
“You’re much prettier than Richard Gere.” Jamie drops a DRAW FOUR card on Mikah’s red 2 . “Dating apps?”
Denz chucks a pizza crust at Jamie.
“Momma said no food fights, Uncle Denzie!” Mikah announces. He’s the only one allowed to use nicknames with Denz. He’s not ashamed of the chokehold Mikah has on him.
“Hinge?” Jamie suggests. “Tinder?”
“No and hell no.”
“Grindr? Ooh, Scruff?”
Denz stabs a straw in his new juice pouch, glaring. He’s always avoided dating apps. Being gay and Black isn’t the easiest thing to navigate in online spaces. Why voluntarily sign up for people to showcase their racism or fetishism while hiding behind a fake profile pic? No, thanks.
“A past hookup?” Jamie proposes.
Denz considers. It goes against all his rules. He doesn’t save one-night stands’ numbers or DMs. Also, what’s he going to say to Tongue Ring Guy? BTW, when you’re done down there, do you have any plans tomorrow? Want to meet my family? Cool, pass me the lube.
He shakes his head. “It wouldn’t work.”
Tongue Ring Guy would never survive the Kenneth Carter Rite of Passage test. To date, there’s only been one man from Denz’s limited pool of suitors who has.
Which, of course, is why Jamie says, “What about an ex?”
Denz almost chokes on a pepperoni. He still hasn’t mentioned Braylon’s return to anyone. Not even Jamie. He also hasn’t been back to Crema since.
“Uno!” Mikah shouts while holding two cards.
Jamie face-palms. “If this little dude beats me again, I’m going to jump into traffic.”
Denz snorts, tearing off a new slice for his nephew.
“Huh.” Jamie rubs greasy fingers over his round chin. “What if you dated a guy in a coma?”
Their last WTN was While You Were Sleeping . Denz’s Sandra Bullock crush is strong. But it’s not altogether a bad idea. A pretend boyfriend. Someone sweet and funny that his family will instantly adore. Someone with best-friend qualities. Someone like…
“God bless you, Will Thacker,” Denz says, “you horny-for-books hero.”
Mikah tips his head back. “What’s horny, Uncle Denzie?”
“A triceratops.” Denz meets Jamie’s eyes. “What if we faked it?”
“Your death? Seems excessive. We could pull it off. I’ve watched so much Law & Order: SVU lately.” Jamie sighs dreamily. “I’d let Christopher Meloni step on me. He could spit in my—”
“No.” Denz shivers. “What if you were my fake boyfriend?”
Jamie goes silent. Mikah slaps his final cards down. “I win!”
But Denz is the real winner. “Think about it. My family loves you. My dad loves you—”
“Like a son,” Jamie says, strangled.
Denz slides off the sofa. He sits pretzel-leg behind Mikah to reshuffle the deck. “You know everything about me. My ambitions. My past. My favorite drink—”
“Your poop schedule,” Jamie adds.
Mikah giggles into his hands.
“Sure, that.” Denz deals out the cards. “ We’re a perfect decoy.”
“We have zero chemistry. Other than that time in high school when you tried to kiss me—”
“ You tried to kiss me !”
“—while we were drunk,” Jamie continues. “A hand might’ve innocently gone there… I was still figuring stuff out. You were obviously into it.”
Denz can’t fight off his smile. Jamie was the first person he came out to.
A year later, Jamie came out as pan. He’s not saying what almost happened between them helped Jamie understand his true self, but it was an epiphany for Denz.
Sometimes, queer kids just know who their people are, even without saying it, and those family bonds can be stronger than the ones formed by blood.
“Point is,” Denz says, “we’ll make it work.”
How could any of the Carters disapprove of Jamie? He comes from a well-known family. He’s not a rando internet guy with a sketchy past. He’s not a hookup who knows more about Denz’s dick than his career goals. Definitely not an ex with a British accent and a tarnished history with the Carters.
Sighing, Jamie whispers, “Okay. But just until you get the job.”
“Promise.” Denz extends his pinkie. “Don’t worry. This is gonna be easy.”
Jamie hooks their fingers. Mikah joins them. Denz kisses the top of his unruly curls, chest relaxing.
He’s one step closer to proving everyone wrong.
What about pet names? is not a text Denz imagined himself sending while on the clock.
Or ever.
He’s on location at a chic hotel thirty minutes north of the city. The company’s planning a black-tie fundraiser for underserved schools, hosted by a local NBA player. While Connor does a walk-through with the organizers, Denz gathers social media content:
The Correggio-inspired mural on the ballroom’s high ceiling. Glimmering teardrop chandeliers. The proposed floral arrangements. If he sneaks a handful of selfies in the marble-floored bathroom with the gorgeous lighting for his own account, well, it’s all business.
Jamie’s reply comes a minute later:
Pet names?? Are we getting a doggo?? FINALLY!
Denz rubs his temple. Why is his best friend like this? He uploads a video of Connor in action before responding:
no! terms of endearment. cute nicknames