40. Are You The Father?
FORTY
ARE YOU THE FATHER?
Eve
My eyes tick along with the second hand as it moves clockwise. Where is Lach? He said he didn’t want to miss this. The paper on the table crinkles beneath me. The stark white walls reflecting the harsh fluorescent lights amplify my anxiety tenfold. What if he forgot? I should have sent him a reminder. Maybe he changed his mind, and this is all too much for him, and he no longer wants to be with me because I’m having someone else’s baby. What if he got into an accident on his way here? He could be lying in the ditch dead somewhere, and no one knows where he is. My chest tightens as a giant lump forms in my throat, choking me. I wish I hadn’t forgotten my phone in the car.
The door swings open, and a woman with strawberry blonde hair and a white lab coat strolls in. “Hi, Miss Porter. My name is Cindy. I’ll be performing your ultrasound. Sofia couldn’t be here today. How are you?”
She gives me a warm smile, but it does nothing to calm my anxiety. “G-good,” I choke out. Except that my boyfriend may be gasping for his last breath. “A little nervous.”
“Is this your first pregnancy?”
I nod.
“Nerves can be expected, but I’m sure everything will be fine.” She flips through a few papers on the clipboard before returning her attention to me. “We’ll just run through some standard procedures to make sure the baby is healthy. If we’re lucky and the baby is in the right position, perhaps we’ll be able to see the sex as well.”
She continues talking, but my mind drifts back to Lach. Where is he? I pick at my cuticles, needing something to do. I know this isn’t his responsibility, but I could really use his support right now.
“I’ll have you lie down, and we’ll get started,” Cindy says.
I nod and lie back. She presses a few buttons on the ultrasound machine. My gaze darts between what she’s doing and the door. I drum my fingers against my thigh, trying to rid myself of any nervous energy, but it’s not helping. Beeping from the machine fills the room as it springs to life. A second later, a knock on the door cuts through the beeping. I roll my head toward the door. A woman with short, black hair peeks her head in through the crack.
“I have a Lachlan Murray here.”
“Yes! He can come in.” My heart beats again. He’s here. He made it. There’s no accident. No ditch. He’s here. A wide grin spreads across my face when he comes into view.
Immediately, he races to my side. “I’m so sorry I’m late. A road crew was working on an underground pipe that burst. Traffic was backed up for miles. I got here as fast as I could.”
“Worst-case scenarios were flashing in my mind,” I whisper.
“I’m here now.” He brushes his thumb over the top of my hand.
“You’re just in time. I’m Cindy, the sonographer.”
“Lachlan. But you can call me Lach,” Lach replies.
“We haven’t started anything yet. Are you the father?” Cindy’s face drifts up from her paperwork.
My gaze shoots to his. This isn’t something we discussed beforehand. Who would discuss this? It’s not like it would come up in everyday conversation, mostly because all our friends know he isn’t the father. His eyes meet mine. They’re soft and full of love.
“Yes. Yes, I am.” He drops his gaze to mine.
A tear pricks the corner of my eye. We both know this baby isn’t his, but he’s claiming them as his own. More and more every day, I find myself falling harder and deeper for him. How did I survive without him? Lach not being in my life seems like a lifetime ago. He squeezes my hand before linking his pinky with mine.
“Great. Let us get started.”
I slide the hem of my shirt over my belly. The cold jelly contacts my skin, and I flinch. She slides a wand around, smearing the jelly. A few seconds later, a whooshing sound fills the room. I roll my head away from Lach as he looks up. A grainy black-and-white picture fills the small monitor next to us. I gasp. There’s a head. A chest. Arms. Tiny hands. Legs. My breath hitches, and my entire body trembles with elation.
Lach squeezes my pinky and leans down. His warm breath rolls over the shell of my ear. “I got you, Sunflower. I got you.”
From Lach’s words, all the tension escapes my body. Him here, by my side, is exactly what I need. The fetus wiggles back and forth while Cindy slides the wand from one side of my belly to the other.
“It appears everything is progressing as normal. That little dot is the heart.” She points to the screen. “Would you like to know the sex?”
I glance at Lach, and he squeezes my pinky. I’m unable to fight the smile forming on my lips. Turning my attention back to Cindy, I nod. “Yes.”
“Alright. Let’s see if we can get them to cooperate.” She moves the wand to the side of my belly. “Right there.” She freezes. “It looks like you’re having a boy.”
Lach points at the screen. “Right there. That’s his…”
“No. That’s his arm. Right there.” She points to a smaller gray spot on the screen.
For the next ten minutes, we continue to watch him wiggle and squirm on the screen. I’m growing a little human inside me. A little boy. Cindy takes a couple of sonogram pictures for us to take home. When we’re finished, she cleans the gel off my stomach and informs me everything will be sent to my doctor, and she’ll get in touch with me if there are any issues.
Back at our now-furnished townhouse, I sit on the couch, thumbing through the pictures. This ultrasound hits differently than the first. This time I can see all the limbs, fingers, and toes. He’s no longer a kidney bean. My finger slides over the glossy black-and-white photo. It’s real. The cushion dips beside me as Lach takes a seat.
“Is everything okay?” Lach’s voice is soft.
I nod. “Yes. Everything is almost perfect.”
“Almost perfect?”
I peer up at Lach. “I wish this baby was yours.” A tear rolls down my cheek.
Gently, he brushes it away with his thumb. “To me, it doesn’t matter. I’m there for you and him, no matter what.”
“What did I do to deserve you?”
“You kissed me at a resort bar. I’ve been lost in you ever since.” A smile flirts on his lips.
I melt into him, resting my head on his shoulder. “Imagine if none of that happened?” I blow out a heavy sigh.
He wraps an arm around my back, holding me tight. “I’d rather not. Life without you is unthinkable for me. I’ve lived it for the past twenty-nine years, and I don’t want to go another day without you.”
I relish his warmth, taking comfort in his words. I don’t know what I would do without him in my life.