Chapter Forty-Five
I'm so fucking angry right now. I can't believe he fucking said that.
But what makes it worse is that I know he's right to an extent.
Not about it being for life, I know that shit, I want it for life, but the fact that I haven't discussed it with her.
I know how she feels, or I think I do. She's so fucking receptive to me, I know that she trusts me, but I don't know if she'd want to be claimed, I don't know if she would want this for life.
I stop outside of the door, listening to her playing piano. I need to lose the rage before I walk in there. She's suffered enough in her life, I don't need her seeing it from me also. Taking several deep breaths, I gently push open the door just a little and watch her play through the crack.
There's something about seeing the look of peace on her face, the small smile that graces her lips that calms the storm that's swirling inside of me. How can anyone hurt her? How can anyone want to hurt her? My stomach knots at thoughts of the things she’s been through.
I want to protect her, and I will, but I want her to be able to protect herself and her brother.
Once we figure this shit out, neither of them will be going back there, and I want to know that if he or anyone else should try anything that she can fight them off.
Pushing the door open, I stride toward her. She stops playing and turns to look at me, the smile falling from her lips when she sees my face.
"Max?" she asks as I reach her, pulling her up to stand and out from between the piano and the stool. I wrap one arm around her waist and cup the back of her head, crashing my lips to hers before she has a chance to say anything else.
It's not a sweet kiss, it's fast and hard. And I think for a second she might not like it, but she matches my movements and it's exactly what I needed. I just needed to feel her lips on mine.
I pull away from the kiss, and we're both breathless, but the smile has returned to her face. "What was that for?" she asks.
I shake my head at her. I need to talk to her, but not now and not here. "I want to do something; I want to teach you a few things," I tell her.
"Oh," she responds, a little confused.
"Come on," I tell her, pulling her behind me as I lead her toward the gym. She doesn’t say anything, she just follows along, and this is how I know she trusts me.
She stops just inside the door as I close it behind us. I look her up and down, checking what she's wearing. Leggings, converse and my hoody. I can’t help but smile, loving the fact that she’s chosen to wear my hoody again. She's dressed okay, but I'm not.
"I need you to wait in here, baby, I will be five minutes. Okay?" I ask.
"Okay." She breathes and slips her hands in the pockets of the hoody. Placing a quick kiss on her forehead, I race out the door.
I'm back in the gym less than five minutes later. As I walk through the door, I see her sitting in the middle of the mat, her legs stretched out in front of her, her body bent in the middle, and her fingers reaching the top of her trainers as she stretches out.
"Baby?" I question.
"Oh." She sits upright and stands, turning to face me. "Sorry, I just figured while I was here, I would do a little yoga." She looks embarrassed.
I pull her to me and wrap my arms around her. Fuck, I love touching her, I love having her in my arms. "Don't apologise. You do yoga often?"
She shakes her head. "Not really, I kind of just did it when I was locked in my room for days, as a way to get exercise."
My heart twists. "You don't have to do it here, you want exercise, you can use this gym or go for a walk around the compound, you're not a prisoner here, baby," I tell her, angry that she had to find a way to get exercise when she wasn’t allowed out.
She reaches up and places a small kiss on my lips and smiles. "Thank you. I actually like doing yoga, though. I just don't do it very often."
I cup her face, my thumb running back and forth over her cheek as I stare into her eyes. They are so bright today, she actually looks happy.
"Wrath’s girl, Marissa, she does yoga if you ever want to do it," I tell her.
She gives me a nervous smile. "Oh, thank you.
Maybe." I know she won't reach out to her.
I might not have known her long, but I do know that she isn't the type to reach out to people, she'll feel like she's imposing on them.
I don't push her, but I make a mental note to mention to Wrath about getting his girl to call Nova.
But then I realise that she can't call her, she doesn't have a phone. I’ll have to speak to Data about getting her one.
"Max? What exactly are we doing in here?" she asks me as she glances around the room.
I smile down at her. "I want to teach you how to take care of yourself."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, fighting, baby..."
She shakes her head at me, cutting me off. "I don't want to fight, please." Her voice is so low and quiet.
I kiss her until her body relaxes into mine. "I don't mean I want you to fight, baby, I want to teach you how to fight so you can defend yourself. I won't always be around, and I want to know that you can protect yourself if you're alone. Okay?"
"Okay,” she whispers, her head dropping and her arms loosening from around my waist.
"What is it?" I ask, gripping her chin and tilting her head up toward mine.
"It's nothing. I just forget that I'm not always going to be here."
Fuck. Do I say something now or wait? She looks sad when she says it.
My eyes flick back and forth over hers, but I decide now is not the best time. I'll talk to her later, but right now I brought her in here to learn how to defend herself.
"Okay, baby, I'm just going to go over a few basic things with you first. I need you to stand in front of me with your back to me," I tell her.
She steps out of my grip, and taking one step forward, she turns her back to me. Fucking hell, the trust she has in me blows me away.
"I want to teach you what to do should someone grab your hair from behind. Before we do anything, I need you to remember that it's me in the room with you and nobody else. If it gets too much you tell me to stop, okay?"
"Okay," she says but doesn't look behind her.
I need to do this with her, for her, but I'm so worried she’s going to freak out when I touch her. I try and swallow, but my throat is once again dry, nerves settling in my stomach. I take once step forward and grip her hair. She doesn't flinch, even when I pull her head back slightly.
"Okay, baby?" I ask.
"Yes. What do I do?" she asks me, her voice so calm and relaxed.
I raise an eyebrow. Fucking hell. "Okay, raise both arms back over your head, grabbing my wrist, and then take two steps backward but slightly to the side. On the second step, turn your foot inward, toward me, along with your hips. As you do that, you need to dip your head and turn so you’re facing the opposite direction.
As you face the opposite direction, I want you to stand tall, using your strength to bend my shoulder back.
I'll dip forward and automatically let go, and that’s when you let go and run.
Do you understand?" I ask her, after relaying the entire instruction to her.
She nods a little. "I think so. Can we run through the steps as you talk me through each one, please?" she asks.
"Of course," I tell her. And that’s what we do. I run her through the steps as I explain each move.