Chapter 19
GAbrIEL
I MEET WITH him before practice, and it doesn’t go the way I expected.
I tell him I slept with Scarlett, thinking that would be enough, but he wants me to date her and go public with it because right now everyone thinks it’s just another hookup.
He says I need to make it look real, take her to dinner, post photos, and make people believe we’re actually together.
Only then, I’m supposed to regain my popularity.
I agree because I don’t have a choice.
By the time I reach the rink, I’m already late. The guys are on the ice, running drills, and when I step out, they all look at me like I’m an alien.
Zyair skates past me without a word. Taj shoots me a glare before turning away. Even the younger guys won’t meet my eyes. They all act like I don’t exist. Or worse, like I’m someone they wish didn’t exist.
I skate over to Zyair after the drill ends. “Can we talk?”
He doesn’t stop moving. “No.”
“Zyair, please. Just let me explain.”
“Explain what?” He finally turns to face me. “What the fuck is there to explain?”
“I don’t know what you heard, but—”
“I heard enough.” He skates away before I can say anything else.
Frustration burns in my chest. Someone recorded me and leaked the audio. But who? And why? I’ve gone over it so many times in my head, and I still can’t figure it out. Who would’ve had access? Who would’ve wanted to expose me?
Someone from the team? Someone outside? But nothing makes sense. No one was supposed to know about any of this. The whole point was to keep it quiet and handle things without anyone finding out. And now the whole team knows, or they think they know whatever twisted version of the truth they heard.
The practice drags on, and every time I try to focus, my mind drifts back to Scarlett.
She looked incredible in that dress, and I can’t stop thinking about the way she touched me.
I keep remembering how confident she was, and how she took control and made me forget about everything else.
When she pulled off the blindfold, she looked at me in a way that made my chest tighten.
And she moved on top of me like she knew exactly what she was doing and what it would do to me.
I can’t stop thinking about her. She drove me crazy, and I still want her, which is a problem because wanting her wasn’t part of the plan.
Sleeping with her was supposed to be a task.
Something I checked off a list and moved on from.
But now I keep thinking about her and wondering what she’s doing and whether she’s thinking about me too.
It would be nice if I could just forget everything and spend a day with her without all this other shit hanging over us.
No tasks, no expectations, and no pressure forcing me into something I don’t want.
Just the two of us, maybe grabbing coffee or walking around campus and talking about nothing important. Normal stuff that normal people do.
But I can’t fall for her. She’s a task and a means to an end, and falling for someone when you’re as fucked up as I am never ends well.
No one should date someone like me anyway.
I’m too broken, too dangerous, and too wrapped up in things I can’t explain.
Getting close to me puts people at risk, and I’ve already seen what that looks like. I’ve lost people because of it.
But the thought keeps circling back. What if things were different? What if I could just be with her? What if I wasn’t who I am, and she wasn’t caught up in this mess, and we could just be two people who liked each other?
I force myself to focus on the drill. Coach is watching from the bench, his arms crossed, and I can tell he’s not happy with my performance today.
I can’t afford to screw this up any more than I already have.
My teammates might hate me, but I still have to play with them and win games.
Hockey is the only thing I have left right now, and the only thing I’m still good at.
The whistle blows, and I skate harder, pushing myself until my legs burn and my lungs ache. But it doesn’t help, because Scarlett’s still in my head, and so is everything else.
Fuck!