Chapter Fourteen
Wish You Weren’t so Fuckin’ Awkward, Bud
Finn awoke the next morning with regrets.
Not from drinking—his dad never would have let Finn overindulge to the point of regret. At least, not with alcohol.
Food was another matter. Finn should have never agreed to that last round of barbecue.
He groaned as he rolled over. He was being punished for his life choices. This was what he got for deciding to eat his feelings instead of dealing with them like an adult.
To be fair to Finn, he had totally managed to adult after his conversation with Imogen. He was processing… until Producer Paul called.
The travelling show was pretty much a done deal at this point, and at first Finn thought Producer Paul was calling to see if Finn wanted to stay on board as choreographer. Then he threw the curveball.
“We’ve been talking about how much the camera likes you, Finn. If this season has proved anything, it’s that you’re wasted behind the scenes.”
“Uh, thanks?”
“We want to keep you in front, let you put that charm to good use. How would you like to be Michelle’s replacement? Take over her hosting duties.”
“Um,” Finn had said. Thankfully, Producer Paul only laughed and told Finn to take a few days to think about it. In the meantime, he would have his assistant email the details about the contract so Finn could make “an informed decision.”
Shortly afterwards, as he eyed the estimated travel time and the number of zeros on the paycheck, Finn decided reinforcements were in order and headed for his dad’s bar.
His dad listened while Finn told him about the competing job opportunities and rambled about the pros and cons.
He didn’t ask any follow-up questions about why travel “might be nice right now,” saving Finn from having to tell his dad that he’d once again given his heart to someone who didn’t want to keep it, and this time Finn couldn’t run home to escape them because they were already here.
He also didn’t ask about who had texted Finn and made him frown and then ignore his phone for the rest of the night.
He’d just nodded and given Finn more food and then asked, “Kid, if someone called right now to tell you it’s a done deal, who do you want it to be?”
Scott. No question. That was the dream job.
But Finn wasn’t sure he could survive being in the same city as Robbie right now.
“It’s not a done deal, though. I’m sure they’re talking to lots of coaches.” He snorted. “Probably actual coaches with high-level coaching experience.”
His dad gave him the same look he’d given preteen Finn when he was being dramatic. “You telling me that teaching adults—fully grown people used to being the top of their profession—how to do something they’ve never done before isn’t coaching?”
Finn didn’t have an answer for that, so he changed the subject, and his dad let him.
And now Finn was awake and facing a new day of practice with Robbie and deeply regretting that last plate of food. Pretzel bites and beer-cheese dip were not exactly the high protein, fat, and fibre content he needed to fuel a day on the ice.
Figuring the outlook on his day wouldn’t get any better from his bed, Finn stumbled out of it and focused on his morning routine. At least he could lose himself in that well enough to shut down his brain for a little while.
But then he had to go to work.
Naturally, avoiding thoughts of Robbie and heartbreak and life-changing decisions worked better when the man wasn’t standing in front of him.
“Morning, Finn.” He smiled, though it looked a bit forced.
God, Finn did not want to talk about their situationship.
He did not want to hear whatever Robbie wanted to say.
Yesterday, when he read Miss you already, Finn assumed that meant Robbie was horny.
But now, looking at his expression… what if the request to talk was that request to talk?
Finn could not work with this man if he broke his heart.
“Morning. So I was thinking for the next song—”
“Finn.”
“—what if we did something a bit different?”
Robbie blew out a breath, but he didn’t push. “Like what?”
Finn managed to keep them on topic—off topic?—for almost an hour, focused on choreography.
Of course, they couldn’t actively do that forever.
As they took a break, Robbie pulled out his phone and scowled at it. He typed furiously for several minutes, and Finn couldn’t take it. Couldn’t stand not knowing what had Robbie so unhappy. Just because Robbie wasn’t invested like Finn didn’t mean Finn could just stop caring.
“What is it?”
Robbie sighed and dropped his phone on his bag.
“Questions from Eugene. He’s petitioning the judge to drop my parents’ request for custody before our hearing on the grounds that Sawyer doesn’t want to live with them.
Which, you’d think should be straightforward since they deadname him and he had an anxiety attack at the thought of it, but. ” He shrugged.
“I’m sorry you and Sawyer are going through this.
” It sounded like a nightmare. Finn couldn’t imagine how much worry Robbie must be in right now, knowing that his status as Sawyer’s parent was in danger of being legally stripped from him, despite the fact that he, Sawyer, and Sawyer’s biological father all knew Robbie was the best man for the job.
“The process is painful,” he agreed. “I’ve learned so much about custody cases in the past few days I could probably become a lawyer.” He set his water aside, dry rubbed his face, and sighed. “Oh well. Maybe it’ll come in useful again someday if we decide to go the adoption route.”
Finn’s brain screeched to a halt. He stopped functioning, forgetting about his mouthful of water as he stared.
Robbie, still lost in thought, frowned and said, “Wait, do you want kids? More kids? I mean, I come with a kid—”
Finn sprayed water in Robbie’s face.
They stared at each other. Robbie’s face dripped with water. Finn’s burned with mortification. What the fuck. Oh my God.
Silence reigned for a small eternity. Was Finn going to laugh or cry? Or run away screaming? Maybe the earth would open and swallow him whole?
None of those things happened, though, and eventually he managed to get his mouth to move again. “Sorry—but what—”
At the same time, Robbie said, “Oh my God, I’m a disaster.” He buried his wet face in his hands for a moment and then pulled them away. “You’re so bad for my impulse control. First I call you babygirl—”
Finn made a small, wounded noise and gave in to the urge to cover his own face.
Unfortunately—fortunately?—Robbie kept talking.
“—without meaning to or even checking with you, which thank God that worked out, but then just out of nowhere, ‘hey do you want kids with me?’ I did not mean to say that. I didn’t mean to buy an engagement ring either, these things just happen to me when you’re around—”
Finn pried his hands away from his face. Surely he hadn’t just heard what he thought he’d heard.
“—but I couldn’t just not buy it once I saw it. It was the ring I was meant to give you—”
“The ring you what?”
“Uh.” Robbie froze, eyes wide, cheeks pink. “Can we forget I said that?”
“We definitely cannot,” Finn said faintly. He felt like he’d lost the thread of this conversation entirely, like he’d woken up in a parallel universe. His heart was pounding and his head was fuzzy and literally nothing made sense; he needed them to pause for a moment so he could catch up.
“Like, I’ve never been in love or even really dated before, but even I know that’s too soon, right? So as soon as I bought it, I realized I was insane, so I got you a necklace to wear it on—”
Sure. Right. Robbie’s reaction to oops, too soon to make that commitment or drop that kind of cash was to buy something else expensive to go with it. That made total sense.
“Just.” Finn held up a hand before Robbie could tell him he’d gotten Finn a dog and picked out their retirement home. He could panic about the whole in love bomb later. “Can we rewind? Because I kind of thought—you said you had to prioritize Sawyer right now…?”
“Yeah,” Robbie said. He looked sheepish, and also a little on edge.
Which. Did he just propose? With Finn’s spit-water all over his face?
Finn could forgive him for being a little wild right now.
“Uh, I meant I wasn’t going to have a lot of time to spend with you until the courts grant me permanent guardianship, not that I could only fuck you casually.
I didn’t realize you’d gotten the wrong idea until your mom and Sawyer tried to give me the shovel talk. ”
Gail had gotten involved in this? Oh Jesus. “She saw my car in your driveway,” Finn realized, “when she brought Sawyer home.”
“That woman is terrifying.” Robbie nodded. “But I’m grateful to her, because I didn’t—” Long, warm fingers curled around Finn’s own. His heart stuttered. “Finn. I swear I didn’t realize I was hurting you. I never wanted to do that. I’m so sorry.”
Finn could’ve said a hundred things to that. He could’ve given his own apology, for jumping to the worst possible conclusion and letting himself mope about it instead of asking for clarification; he could’ve said I forgive you.
He said, “Where is it?”
Robbie blinked. “Where is what?”
Now who was being dumb? “The ring!” Maybe it was too soon to wear it as a ring. “The necklace! You can’t just dangle a proposal in front of me like that—”
“It’s in my locker,” Robbie blurted. “I was going to—but then you didn’t seem like you really wanted to talk, so….”
So they’d ended up practicing instead, when they could’ve sorted out the misunderstanding two hours ago and moved on to the celebratory sex.
Well, at least Finn knew how to make the best of this situation. He tugged Robbie to his feet and dragged him toward the locker room. “Open it.”
With a fond, somewhat dumbfounded look, Robbie opened his locker and withdrew a small rectangular box from the side pocket of his bag. He turned toward Finn, opened the hinged lid.