Chapter 37
CHAPTER
THIRTY-SEVEN
CHANCE
All I want to do is grab April and give her a big hug.
Every day that I was apart from her was torture. Standing this close to her after so long away feels like diving into cool, turquoise waters after wandering around in the desert.
It takes every ounce of self control I have to follow her to a seat and sit beside her without holding her hand.
However, I know it’s the right move when she looks up and gives me a brave smile. Whatever she has to say is difficult enough for her and I don’t want to crowd her space.
“Um…” Her voice trembles slightly and she rubs her hands on the oil-splotched legs of her jumper. “So, as you know, I was dating someone… before you.”
I work to keep the jealousy from my face. Now that I’ve admitted my feelings for April, the thought of any other man having her—in the past or in the future—makes me want to put a ring on her finger immediately.
She swallows, clears her throat and says, “That person cheated on me, as you already know.”
I do know.
And Evan is very lucky there are laws against tying someone to a lamppost and shooting them with a hundred hockey pucks.
“Evan and I met in high school, but we didn’t seriously date until I graduated vocational college. I started working with him at the garage and he’d stay back late at the shop just to eat and work on cars with me.”
I nod, listening intently even though I wish I could erase all visuals of Evan flirting with April over the open hood of a car.
“I thought we were happy.” April wrings her hands together and I debate offering my fidget spinner. “We both loved cars. We could talk about turbo engines and compressors and faulty brake pads all day long. I thought I’d found the one.”
She starts pulling on her fingers and, this time, I do offer her the fidget spinner.
Her lips inch up as she accepts the device from me and she gives it a flick. “Thanks.”
“You’re welcome.”
As the plastic toy whirs, I survey April closely. “How long had you been dating before you found out about the other woman?”
“Three years. They’d been together for a year by then.”
I curl my fingers into fists. “The next time I see Evan, he’s getting a long overdue punch to the face.”
“It’s old news,” April says, shaking her head.
I don’t believe that. After what May told me about how April’s self-confidence was crushed, it feels like that betrayal is still fresh.
“The other woman was,” April sighs heavily, “the complete opposite of me. She always had long, painted nails. Her hair was always in a new style—probably because she’s the town’s hairdresser.”
I make a mental note to boycott Lucky Fall’s hairdressing salons. All of them.
“And she dresses really well.”
“That’s not a valid reason to step out on your partner,” I grouch.
“I’m not saying that to excuse Evan. But it did show a glaring fault in our relationship. One I should have been aware of from the start. It took me ending things with Evan for him to truly be honest with me.”
“What did he tell you?”
“He said I’m too much like the guys. That… sometimes, I feel like one of the bros instead of his girlfriend.”
“Idiot,” I mumble. One look at April’s delicate cheekbones, full lips, and sweet smile and it’s clear as day she’s a woman. No amount of T-shirts, jumpers, or steel-toed work boots can disguise that fact.
April ducks her head. Watching her, I realize that she truly believes she’s somehow inferior because of her career and style. And it makes me angry to think those words have been inscribed in her heart and a weight around her neck for such a long time.
I blow out a breath and say as gently as I can, “You know that’s not true, don’t you? You are incredibly beautiful, April.”
“Thank you.” The fidget spinner whirs as she gives it another push. “I think I would have been able to get back on my feet again. But right after blowing up at Evan, I was called into my boss’s office.”
She pauses.
“Stewart Kinsey. Mr. Kinsey owned the only garage in town at the time. My dad had worked there before he got sick and I’d been hanging around the garage since I was knee-high.”
Another pause.
“I really looked up to Mr. Kinsey, not just as a good mechanic but as a family friend. I enjoyed working at his shop too because it felt like,” a slow flick of the spinner, “I don’t know, like my dad was still there with me.”
I nod in understanding.
“But after I freaked out at Evan, Mr. Kinsey fired me.”
“He fired you? ”
She nods. “He said I was too emotional, that I couldn’t do the grunt work the other guys could and that everyone felt like they had to watch their mouths around me because I was ‘too sensitive’. Mind you, I usually let all their crass jokes slide unless it was really demeaning to women.” She stops the fidget spinner suddenly. “Evan had complained that working with his ex would be too awkward. It was just an excuse for Mr. Kinsey to side with his family and get rid of me.”
I shake my head in disgust.
“After that,” April adds, “Mr. Kinsey offered me some… personal advice.” She takes a giant breath and seems to prepare herself to speak again. “He said that I shouldn’t be surprised that Evan went looking elsewhere. He said that men are visual creatures and seeing a woman all covered up like me wasn’t what men wanted.”
Inside, my blood starts boiling.
“He said if I wanted to be happy, I had to lower my expectations. After a long day’s work, a guy doesn’t want to come home to someone like me.” She extends her arms to show the stains on her hands and nails. “I should just accept that if a guy had to choose between a feminine lady and a dirty mechanic covered in oil and sweat…” April nibbles on her bottom lip, “he wouldn’t choose the mechanic.”
I explode to my feet. “Where is he? Where’s this Kinsey guy?”
April grabs my bicep. “What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know? Drive my car through his shop window?”
She laughs.
I sit back down, my eyebrows taut. “I’m open to suggestions.”
“Chance,” she says with a smile.
I can’t even look at her pretty face. I’m filled with so much righteous anger, I might start a political rally and change a few state laws.
“Chance, I’m not finished.”
I look over at April. She’s sitting on the bench, her face upturned and a small, hopeful smile on her face.
“Evan’s actions and Mr. Kinsey’s words really hurt me. I believed that maybe I wasn’t enough. Pretty enough. Feminine enough. Sweet enough to be in a relationship. Maybe I wasn’t the type of woman that a guy would be interested in. Even if he was interested, I wasn’t the type of woman a guy could be faithful to.”
“That unworthy feeling got worse when you and I,” she points between my chest and hers, “started faking our relationship. Everyone on the internet criticized my looks, so I changed it. But when I started dressing more like the woman Mr. Kinsey had described, I felt even worse about myself.” She gestures to her jumper. “ This is the real me, but people only started paying attention and believing we were really together when I hid it.”
“I’m sorry, April. I should have known. I should have protected you better.”
I don’t realize my fingers are tightening into fists until April starts prying at each digit. When my fist is unclenched, she smoothes her hand down my palm and links her fingers with mine.
Stunned, I look from our joined hands to her beautiful face.
“You once told me you don’t hand out apologies unless you mean them. I know you’re being sincere, but I won’t accept your apology this time, Chance. This is not your fault. You’ve done nothing but make me feel valued and protected.”
My lips curl up. Those words mean the world to me.
April chuckles. “If it were anyone else, I wouldn’t have gotten to this point. Believe me, I was looking for any reason to mistrust you, but you haven’t given me a single opportunity to doubt your character.”
I squeeze her fingers and then bring them up to my lips to kiss the back of her hand. The harsh scent of engine fluid and whatever oils and grease she was working with fills my nostrils. But it doesn’t bother me at all.
“I really, really like you, April.” It’s more than that, but she only opened the door to her heart a crack. I don’t want to barge in with another love confession and overwhelm her too soon.
“I like you too.” She leans forward. “For real.”
Joy explodes in my chest and I whoop like a maniac.
April teeters back with laughter and watches me with a big grin. “Are you that happy?”
“I worked so hard to hear that… Of course, I’m ecstatic.”
April scoots forward and wraps her arms around my neck. Instantly, my grin tempers into a quietly pleased smirk. Having her close is almost better than ice time.
Nope, it’s way better than ice time.
I rest my hand on her waist and pull her a little closer. “What’s the first thing you want to do as my real, official girlfriend?”
“Mm.” She tosses her head back, exposing her beautiful neck to me. “Now that we’re official, how about we seal the deal?”