Chapter 50
CHAPTER
FIFTY
APRIL
May tiptoes into my bedroom the next morning, her eyes drowning in concern. She takes one look at me and abandons the medicine pack on the desk.
“April… your face! You look awful!”
“Thanks,” I say wryly.
“I think we should go back to the hospital.”
“There’s no need for that. I’m okay,” I croak.
“Your eyes are blood-shot. It looks like you didn’t sleep a wink last night. And your face is puffy like you were crying…” She gasps. “Were you in pain and didn’t tell me?”
“No.” I sit up and draw my knees to my chest.
“Your face is telling me a completely different story,” my sister accuses.
“I… I’ve been thinking about breaking up with Chance,” I tell her.
May looks like she’s short-circuiting. “You—what? Is this because of what Evan said?”
I look down at the comforter.
“April, you can’t let Evan get into your head.”
“It’s not just that. Chance and I were too na?ve when he was in Lucky Falls. He was so excited about returning to the league and I was so happy for him. We had all these grand ideas of what long distance dating would look like.”
“This isn’t your first time being apart. He’s been gone before.”
“Yeah, but this is different. His home base isn’t Lucky Falls anymore. He’s not coming home to…”
“To you?”
I chew on my bottom lip.
My sister sets a comforting hand on mine. “I’m sure he had a good reason for not answering our calls when you were in the hospital.”
“Yeah,” I mutter. “He said he didn’t get the messages.”
“That’s weird, but… I mean, do you believe him?”
I nod slowly.
“So what’s the problem? You guys are good together, April,” my sister says. “This isn’t enough to tear you apart, is it?”
I bob my head pitifully.
May leans forward. “Do you know how hard it is to find an upstanding guy like Chance. He takes care of and appreciates you, doesn’t he?”
“He does,” I whisper. “When he’s here.”
“Okay, but don’t you think the distance is a small price to pay? And it’s not like it’s forever. He’ll retire from hockey someday.”
“And in the meantime, I just… wait?”
“I mean… do you not want to wait for him?”
“That’s the thing, May.” My voice trembles and I feel tears pressing in the back of my throat. “I… I don’t recognize myself anymore. It’s, like, I need him.”
May inhales sharply.
“I’ve always been independent. I’ve always done my own thing. There has never been a time in my life where I felt discontent with being alone. But then I met Chance. He showed me what it feels like to be loved and then he left.” The tear does slip down now. “And I went back to my life. I went back to the garage, my career, dad. And something felt missing. I wasn’t content with just being alone anymore. I wanted someone beside me. I wanted him. ”
My sister’s eyes shuffle between mine, shocked. “I’ve ever seen you like this.”
“It’s ridiculous. It’s embarrassing. Even when I was dating my ex, I still loved being alone. I think that’s one of the reasons Chance fell for me. He believed I could handle having only the crumbs of him.”
“The crumbs? Is that what it feels like you’re getting?”
“No. I mean, not exactly. Maybe this is the monoxide talking.” I shake my head. “I know what I signed up for, May. I know hockey will always take him away from me. I just… it scares me that I feel so upset by that. It scares me that I want to be selfish, that I want to be greedy, that I want all of him.”
The truth hits me and I double over.
“I don’t want to share Chance with anyone. And I don’t want to share Chance with hockey. I know that’s unfair to him. It’s so unfair, May. I want him to be happy.” My heart twists painfully. “I want him to live his dreams so badly, and I want to be by his side through it all. But I’m not the woman that he thought I was. I’ve changed. Soon, that resentment for hockey is going to take over me. And that’s not fair to him.”
“Oh April.” May wraps her arms around me and gives me a long hug.
“I’m the worst,” I mumble over and over again. “I’m the worst, May.”
“No, you’re not. You’re human. And you’re in love.”
I push my hair out of my face and look up at her pathetically. “What do I do now?”
“I have no idea, but I’m confident that you’ll figure it out. I’ve seen you fix cars every other mechanic had given up on. When you hit a wall, you did your research, you thought it through, and you attacked the problem again. This will be no different. The answer might be to keep going, to give Chance an ultimatum or just to break up with him—I don’t know. But whatever you decide will be the right choice.”
“Thank you,” I say, looking up at her with glassy eyes.
“That therapy session will cost you.”
I laugh, glad that she broke the moment with a joke. “How much?”
“Let me think about it.” May clears her throat and walks over to my desk. “Take your medicine. I’ll warm up the soup.”
I look at my sister’s retreating back and feel a sense of pride. After June left and dad got sick, I took on a pseudo-motherly role with her. It wasn’t easy either. Dad was forgetting things, and May was in her angsty teenager stage.
Despite all that, I think I did alright. After all, she turned out amazing.
“Evan?” May’s voice shrieks from the front room. “Why are you here again?”
“May! May, put the broom down. May!” Evan shrieks.
Alarmed, I shoot out of bed and race into the living room. My ex is cowering at the door while my little sister is threatening him with a broom.
“May!” I grab the broom from her before she actually whacks him with the thing. It would be deserved, but I don’t want Evan complaining to his sheriff uncle. My sister might spend an evening in jail for assault.
“I think you need a restraining order, April,” May says fiercely. “This has to count as stalking.”
Evan’s mouth opens and shuts. “S-stalking? I’m not stalking! I brought over some food from The Tipsy Tuna.”
“We don’t need?—”
I hold out an arm before May can advance. “I’ll take it from here.”
“Are you sure?”
I nod.
My sister gives Evan a dark glare and stomps back to the kitchen.
Moving gingerly, I step onto the porch and close the door behind me. Evan gestures at the flat bench where we sometimes set out our Christmas decorations.
“You should sit. You still look weak,” he says awkwardly.
I wave a hand. “Why are you here, Evan?”
“You like burgers and?—”
“I meant, why are you here acting all sweet?”
“I’m always this sweet, April.”
“No, you weren’t. Not to me. We dated each other because we both could spend hours talking about cars. But ultimately, that was where the attraction ended for you. Didn’t you say I was too much like a ‘buddy’ and that’s why you cheated?”
He hems and haws. “I didn’t mean it like that, April. And why bring up the past?”
“Tell me why you’re buying me food and showing up at the hospital, Evan. And don’t lie to me. I can tell when you’re being dishonest now.”
He scrubs the back of his head, makes a disgruntled noise and then admits, “I heard you’re going to sue the shop.”
I blink slowly, wondering if he’s pulling a really bad prank. “Me?”
“Yeah. You.” He shows me a document on his phone. It’s got a fancy lawyer crest at the top, and the message urges Evan to ‘provide witness statements’ for a ‘workplace harassment incident’ that occurred the day we broke up. There’s a whole bunch of fancy lawyer lingo, but I get the gist.
“That wasn’t me,” I say, handing back the phone and feeling absolutely perplexed. “My name isn’t anywhere on that document either.”
“April, you don’t understand.” Evan shoves the phone back into his pocket. “You’re stealing clients from my uncle.”
I want to point out that it’s not ‘stealing’ if the customers are coming willingly because Rebel and I do better work.
“Every time someone calls and tells him they’re going to you instead, he gets angrier and angrier. For the sake of our past relationship, I’ve been trying to calm him down, but he’s not going to hold back any longer if you sue his shop.”
“Hold back from what? I’m running my business fair and square and if he thinks his loyal customers are leaving him and coming to me to get their car fixed, maybe he should look at improving his own place.”
Evan grabs my hand. “My uncle isn’t someone you want to play with. I understand if you want to get back at me. I really regret hurting you and I’d love nothing more than to have a second chance. But if you’re doing all this to get back at me, I’m telling you now that you better stop. It’s not worth starting a fight with a Kinsey.”
“It’s not worth starting a fight with a Brooks,” I say firmly.
Evan’s eyes widen. “April…”
“Goodbye, Evan. And if you ever show up in front of me like this again, I’ll file a restraining order against you and give your uncle no choice but to haul your backside to jail.”