Chapter 55
CHAPTER
FIFTY-FIVE
APRIL
He’s wrong.
Those three words topped my entire speech.
I chose you.
I can’t believe he just said that.
My first thought is that Chance is joking, but no. He’s way too serious and looks too intense.
My next thought is that I made a huge mistake.
Chance is about to throw his dreams, his goals, and his progress away because I had a moment of immaturity. Had I not broken down on the phone that night, had I not been so selfish, he wouldn’t be talking like this.
“No, Chance.”
“No?” His eyebrows fly up.
“I can’t let you do that.”
“April, you’re not letting me?—”
My phone buzzes.
It’s May.
I updated her and Rebel on dad’s state earlier. May was already on her way to the nursing home when I called. It took a ton of maneuvering, but I eventually convinced my sister to return to school. Her classes must have ended now.
“Are you with dad?” May asks, sounding breathless. “I called Rebel, but she said you weren’t at the garage and the last time she drove by, you weren’t home yet. Is everything okay?”
“Yeah.
“Is he still sleeping? Did the doctors say anything after his checkup?”
“Everything’s fine.”
“That’s a relief. And what about Chance?”
“I’m with him right now,” I answer, glaring at the stubborn hockey player who smiles back at me.
“Speaking of Chance, did you hear? Everyone is saying that he skipped out on his press conference because he’s back in town for good.”
“No, he’s not.”
“But there’s already an article online.”
“Don’t listen to the gossip on the internet. Chance is going back to the league,” I snap.
May goes quiet.
I sigh and squeeze my eyes shut. Regulating my breathing, I finish quietly. “Do you need a ride to the nursing home?”
“No, I just caught the bus. I’ll be there soon.”
“I’ll wait for you.”
I hang up with my sister and stare straight ahead. The sun is low in the sky, sending a burnt-orange halo over the treetops. The sky is so serene, but inside I’m restless.
Chance reaches for me. “Don’t be angry, April.”
“I’m not angry. I’m worried.” I feel my eyebrows tightening. “You’re an amazing hockey player, Chance. I know how much you love the sport. You faked a relationship with a stranger so you could play! Was that all for nothing?”
“Of course not,” he says calmly. “That was all for this moment.” He sticks his finger down. “So I could fall in love with you for real.”
“ Don’t . Don’t try to make this romantic.”
“I’m not,” he says frankly. “It’s just a fact.”
“The fact is you’re being impulsive because things were rocky between us, but they’re fine now. You don’t have to do anything drastic.”
“I’ve thought about it a lot, April. This isn’t an impulse.”
The calmer he is about it, the more unhinged I feel. “What if you look back in twenty years and regret this moment for the rest of your life?”
“I won’t.”
“What if you do?” I plead.
“What if I don’t?” He counters.
“Everyone is going to blame me if you abandon hockey now. They’ll say I ruined you right when you were at the top of your game.”
“Who cares what everyone thinks? This is between you and me. And I’m not abandoning hockey. I’ve already talked to Max. He’s thrilled to have me back with the Lucky Strikers.”
“They’re only in the minors. Who knows if they’ll ever qualify for the league?”
“April…” He reaches for my other hand.
I shake my head and pull that hand to my chest. “No, no , Chance. You call Derek and tell him you’ll reschedule the press conference.”
“I fired Derek,” he says nonchalantly.
My jaw drops. “You did what ?”
“He’s the reason I missed your text,” Chance admits.
“What do you mean?”
“He had my phone when you called and he intentionally deleted your messages. He didn’t think you were good for my image and had other plans for me that didn’t involve you.”
I frown severely. “That jerk.”
“I couldn’t continue to work with anyone who’d sabotage my relationship with you.”
“How’d you find out it was him? Derek doesn’t seem like a guy who’d admit to anything,” I mumble. The agent always struck me as sleazy.
“I figured it out on my own.”
My eyes narrow when I think of Derek’s manipulation. “Hand me your phone. In fact, forward Derek’s number. I need to give him a piece of my mind.”
“I think firing him was enough,” Chance adds, offering his phone to me despite his advice. “Don’t waste your time and energy on him.”
He’s right. I turn Chance’s phone around and around in my palm before offering it back.
For a while, there’s silence.
“Chance,” I break the quiet first, “are you serious about quitting the league?”
“I am, April.”
Struggling for a way to make him see my side of things, I stammer, “Imagine if you’d come to me, demanding that I give up on being a mechanic? Imagine you told me you were embarrassed by my dirty nails or my over-alls or my obsession with car repair videos?”
He seems horrified by the very thought. “I would never.”
“Yes, but imagine it. Imagine you came to me and said I should choose my mechanic career or you?”
“This is different,” Chance argues, a half-smile twitching on his lips. “I’m willing to give up hockey. I’ll gladly give it up. I choose you over my career a hundred times over.”
My heart pumps hard and fast. “Chance?—”
“April.” He frowns and I can tell that his next words will be very serious. “Years ago, when I was in high school, I got into a car accident. It was my junior year and I’d been drinking with some friends after a hockey game.”
My eyes widen. I’d looked Chance up online several times and had heard nothing of this incident.
“One of us stupidly got behind the wheel and as we were driving, we hit a patch of ice on the road. My friend tried to get control of the vehicle, but the road was too slippery. We were heading straight for a steep ravine that could kill us all.”
I hold my breath, feeling like I’m right there in that spinning car with him.
“For a moment, my life flashed before my eyes and I didn’t like what I saw. Partying, getting caught up with girls, doing stupid dares, not having a purpose, I hated it. I decided right then and there that I’d dedicate myself to my family and to hockey. Just those two. Nothing else.”
“I had no idea,” I whisper.
“Underage drinking isn’t something my parents could have on the news. Not at the time. So they took care of it.” He shrugs. “But I remember that moment vividly.” He pauses and waits for me to meet his eyes. “April, after talking with you that night on the phone, I had a similar experience.”
“Our break up conversation was as violent as a car accident?”
His smile unfurls fully and I can’t stare directly at it. It’s like staring into the sun. Too brilliant. Too blinding.
“In the silence after you hung up, I saw my life play out like a movie,” Chance says. “I saw me going all the way with hockey. I saw all the trophies, the accolades, the recognition. I saw the fame and the awards, and I didn’t like what I saw.” Distaste etches itself into his handsome face. “It all seemed meaningless… because you weren’t there.”
Emotions claw at my throat and I blink rapidly to keep them back.
I don’t deserve this. I don’t deserve him.
I plead one more time. “Let’s work it out some other way. There has to be another way?—”
“Hey, hey,” he calls soothingly. “I respect your career choice. I respect your path. I one hundred percent support you in whatever future you want to have, whether it’s with marriage, the garage, our future kids.”
“ Our kids? Really?” I sniff.
His eyes soften as he says, “All I ask is that you respect my choice too.”
A mangled sob gets caught in my chest and I can’t speak. Chance brackets my face with his hands. Slowly, tenderly, he plants a whisper-soft kiss on my forehead.
Tilting my face up so I’m looking at him, he breathes out, “I don’t just love you, April Elizabeth Brooks. I’d sacrifice everything for you. I’d give my life for you. I choose you.”
“I really hate…” I sniff harder this time, “how often I cry with you.”
“At least you’re still pretty when you cry.”
I ball my fist and land a light punch against his chest. “I’ll accept your decision, but please, please tell me if you ever want to leave and change your mind, okay?”
“I won’t leave, April. And I’m not changing my mind.”
“But if you ever?—”
“If I ever cause you to think that I regret it, I want you to talk to me . Because whatever we face in the future, whatever challenges we’ll go through, it won’t be because of this moment.”
A tear slips down my cheek. “You’re so…”
“Charming?”
“Insane,” I mumble.
Chance laughs and pulls me into his strong embrace. I hug him fiercely, wishing I could say something profound, wishing the English language had words that would accurately describe everything I’m feeling.
But all I can say is, “I love you.”
And when he whispers ‘I love you too’, I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that he means it.