Chapter 21
CHAPTER
TWENTY-ONE
REBEL
I keep telling myself that Carol Kinsey was just reacting out of spite.
I can still join the Society.
I can still make it work.
But the more I self-talk, the more cold, hard reality slams into me.
It’s over.
After everything I did to make it happen…
… lowering my head….
…. accepting all her rude comments…
…agreeing to fake a relationship with my mortal enemy…
My chances have been obliterated. Poof. Gone.
Whatever power I thought I had, whatever delusion convinced me that I could go up against a Kinsey and win, that’s done with. The rose-colored glasses have been ripped from my eyes.
I see the world with startling clarity.
I’m a Hart, born with my feet in the dirt. There’s nothing I can do to change my world, nothing I can do to change my place in this town, to make a difference.
But that’s not the most disappointing part.
I already knew I was powerless.
And yet, the moment Gunner stood behind my chair at the luncheon and declared we were dating, I started hoping for more.
Expecting more.
Why did I forget my place?
With one word from Carol Kinsey, it all came tumbling down. In a snap. Just like that.
As I wait for a taxi, I feel a presence behind me and glance over my shoulder. Gunner followed me out.
“Did I not speak English?” I snarl.
He stares at me with those cold, unfeeling eyes. As usual, he says nothing.
I scoff and turn my head away. “Go ahead. Walk all over me too. It’s a Kinsey tradition.”
“That’s not why I’m here.”
“Then leave.”
“I will. After I see you get home safely.”
“Whatever. Who am I to tell you what to do?” The car I ordered drives to a stop in front of me.
I tap on my app, double-check the license plate and get in.
To my surprise, Gunner opens the door on the other side of the car and climbs in too.
I glare at him.
He stares straight ahead, ignoring me.
I don’t have any energy left to fight. My tank’s on E. So I just lean my head against the window.
It starts to drizzle and fog gathers on the thick glass. I try not to think about the last time I saw fog on a window. But of course, trying not to think about it drags the memory to the forefront—Gunner leaning into me. A steady hand on my neck. A hot mouth caressing mine.
Kissing Carol Kinsey’s son feels especially pathetic now that I’ve been banned from the Society. But in a way, I’m glad I got rejected. Now that my bid to join the Society is over, our fake relationship is over too.
It’s about time this ruse was taken behind the barn and shot.
The driver glances at me in the rearview mirror. “You’re heading to Lucky Falls, right?” He rattles off my home address.
Gunner sits straight up like a vampire roused out of his casket and grunts my mother’s address instead.
The driver punches it in. “That Lucky Falls too?”
“Yes,” Gunner says.
The driver taps the navigation app on his phone. “Okay, got it.”
I pin Kinsey with my stare. “What do you think you’re doing?”
He looks at me coldly. “You shouldn’t be alone tonight.”
“I want to be alone tonight.”
“Would you prefer to sleep over at April’s?”
“Gunner.”
“Bell.”
I stiffen.
“You’re holding back tears and your voice is cracking on the end of every sentence. You either spend the night with your mom or with your best friend. Or you can spend the night with me. Take your pick.”
Was Gunner hit in the head with a puck during tonight’s game? He must be two forks short of a picnic basket if he thinks I’ll ever spend the night with him.
I twist around, giving him my back.
The scenery outside my window shifts from skyscrapers and franchise coffee shops to flatlands.
Would I feel a bit less depressed if the view outside was filled with majestic mountains? Or a calm, still ocean biting into wet sand? Or skyscrapers with billboards blinking a commercial 24-7?
Should I just pack up and move out of Lucky Falls, go somewhere people don’t know my family? Where everything is fast-paced, and everyone’s too busy in their little bubble to care who my forefathers are? Somewhere neighbors haven’t met in years, and the term ‘community’ is reserved for online forums instead of an entire town?
What if I just left it all behind instead of fighting?
A tear slips down my cheek and I brush it away. Beside me, the sound of rustling is followed by a hand appearing under my nose. Gripped in that giant hand is a thin tissue paper.
Surprised, I follow the line of Gunner’s palm up to his broad shoulders, further up to a sharp jawline and finally, into a quiet pair of pale blue eyes.
“You keep tissues in your pocket?” I ask.
“In my wallet.”
“I’m fine.” I push his hand away.
Gunner takes both my hands, forces the tissue into my grip, and then looks away. “Be angry. Yell at me if you want. But don’t cry.”
I’m equal parts horrified and distraught that he saw my tear fall, so I respond with sarcasm. “Is that an order Mr. Kinsey?”
“If that’s all it takes, then yeah. Consider it an order.”
I bristle. “Who are you to tell me when I can and cannot cry? I don’t remember selling my tear ducts to the Kinseys.”
Gunner takes my berating silently.
Watching his expressionless face, I clamp my mouth shut. His willingness to be screamed at takes the pleasure out of it.
We continue riding in silence.
After a while, I turn to look at him, wondering if he’s asleep.
He’s not.
Gunner notices my stare and looks solemnly back at me.
Caught, I have no choice but to address him. “Why did you drag your mother outside?”
He frowns as if he doesn’t want to discuss it.
Great. That makes me want to discuss it more. “When she came back, she was glaring at me like I’d kicked her dog.”
Gunner remains tight-lipped.
“Did you speak to her about me?”
He hesitates and then nods.
“Did you scold her for being rude to me?”
This time, there’s no hesitation. He nods again.
I twist my body so I’m facing the giant hockey player. Anger churns in my voice when I say, “Why?”
He remains quiet.
I press, “Did you think I was holding back because I didn’t know she was rude? Do you think I’m an idiot who can’t tell when I’m being laughed at and ridiculed?”
Gunner breaks his silence, his eyes fierce. “I couldn’t sit by and watch them tear you down.”
“Look around, Kinsey. What do you think people see when they look at me? You think they see someone like Victoria, who wears fancy pantsuits and touts around her law degree like it’s a family heirloom?”
I shake my head. “ You and Victoria can demand all the respect you want. Since you were babies, you were told you were someone important and people had to treat you well. That’s not true for the rest of us. We have to choose our battles because sometimes, it’s a fight between respect or a job. Do you understand? It’s either we get respect or we keep the lights on.”
Gunner’s eyes flutter and his jaw returns to flexing and un-flexing as it did when we were driving to the restaurant.
“But I wouldn’t expect you to get it, Mr. Kinsey.” I flop against my seat and stare into the headrest in front of me.
“You say we’re different,” Gunner’s voice cuts through the silence.
“We are,” I clip.
“No, we’re not. I don’t care what your last name is, who your parents are or how much you make. You’re human. Just like me. You matter. Just like me. And if I had to do it all again, I would still choose to defend you.”
My heart skips a beat, but I struggle not to let it show. “Do you expect me to thank you?”
He glances away.
“Did you think I’d be happy? You thought you ‘saved’ me?”
His jaw flexes. Nothing. No response.
I play the scene with Carol over in my head. Rather than sadness, now all I feel is hot, burning anger. “I didn’t ask you to be my knight-in-shining armor. I wanted us to be partners .”
He flinches. My words, like a knife, seems to have cut something inside him. And I decide to give that knife a good twist.
“At least one decent thing came out of tonight’s dinner,” I mumble.
Gunner’s head whips in my direction and he studies me, waiting.
“Without the Society, I don’t need you. I don’t have to pretend I like you. I never have to talk to you again.”
For a second, I see hurt flash in his eyes. “You hate me that much, Rebel?”
No, I don’t.
But I can’t say that. No way.
Like a boulder going downhill, I let the rude, nasty part of me free. “You’re a Kinsey. You’re the enemy. Everything about you irritates me. Just one look at your face ruins my day.”
Gunner’s eyes sink to the ground and it seems like his entire being dims.
“It’s not like you feel any differently,” I bite out, trying to ease my own guilt.
Gunner says nothing.
Thought so.
I turn back to facing the window as my heart cracks a little. In a quiet, strained voice, I say, “We’ll go back to how things were before and it’ll be like none of this ever happened. From this moment,” I rest my forehead against the cool glass, “you and I are done .”