Chapter 17
Cole
“What’s wrong, son?”
I could see the bus from where I was parked and I was running late. The wind had been sucked out of me, replaced by a longing to be someone else, anyone else but a shifter. While I doubted there was anyone on this planet who hadn’t wished the same thing if only once in their lives.
Today, I was having a crisis of conscience. At least I knew why.
One sexy, opinionated, intelligent ginger-haired woman who’d cut through my bullshit as if warm butter.
“I don’t know, Dad. Just having doubts.” I couldn’t remember when I’d last sought my father’s advice. A long time. He used to be my sounding board, which the dudes I considered my friends in high school had thought was blasphemy. Only they didn’t know my dad.
Not only was he an amazing father and businessman, but he was also an incredible pack leader. He’d seen it all through the years, every difficulty a young wolf could handle. The advice he offered wasn’t always what someone wanted to hear, but he was almost never wrong.
“About hockey or about Chelsea Black?”
And I should have known Samantha was unable to keep her mouth shut. There were no secrets in the family. Not one. “Maybe both. What did Sam tell you?”
“Only that you’d likely be calling. I read the short article. I’ve seen worse. But apparently, you like this girl, yet there are a few… complications?”
“Try from every angle. Her brother is sharing the captain’s position with me and we can’t stand each other. She’s Samantha’s roommate. She hates hockey players. And she had no idea I was a shifter. And I’m not sure I want to play hockey any longer.”
“Well, that’s a lot to unpack, son.”
“Tell me about it. The way Chelsea found out about being a fucking creature was terrible. I could kill that reporter.”
I could hear his heavy sigh. “Let’s not do that. Besides, he didn’t say anything that was untrue. Did he?”
Just as I opened my mouth to retort, I thought about the two paragraphs. In truth, he’d talked about seeing my passion for once. And he wouldn’t be wrong. I’d felt it all during practice.
“Maybe not, but it still couldn’t be worse. I think she hates me. She definitely doesn’t want to see me again.”
“And you want to see her again,” Pops said. For a guy who could be the life of a party just by the way he commanded the grill, he was also the master of being able to drag out whatever problem or admittance he needed from his children. Without being angry or demanding anything.
“Hell, yes, I do. There’s something very special about her.
We had an amazing time together. Honestly, I can’t get her off my mind.
She challenges me and the best part was when she didn’t really know me other than me bugging her to go out with me at the gym, we had fun just pretending to be someone else. I know that doesn’t make sense.”
“It makes perfectly good sense, son. You were never interested in the notoriety brought by playing hockey. I think when you had your injury a couple years ago, you actually breathed a sigh of relief not to face the constant scrutiny. While I couldn’t get you off the ice as a kid, as you grew older, it became apparent you wanted what your mother and I have, a family.
But you were the kid who felt guilty, as if you were to blame because my career was cut short. ”
“Is that what you think?”
My dad laughed, not in a way meant to criticize, but as a reminder he knew me far too well.
“That’s what I know. As if giving birth to you years after my career ended was somehow your fault, which of course isn’t the truth.
I’ve never been unhappy with making the choice of a family over my career.
That’s what I wanted for me, not for anyone else including your mother.
I’m happy. We’re happy and part of that reason is because we have a family.
What I don’t want is for you to cut yourself short. ”
“I’m not.”
“Yeah, you are. You’ve always compared every accomplishment against your brothers. Only when you stop doing that will you determine what’s best for Cole. No one else can do that.”
“You sound a little like Chelsea. I told you she was special, but she can’t stand the fact I’m a shifter.”
“Are you so certain about that? It’s entirely possible she is experiencing much of the same concerns about her future as you are. Being faced with questions about a relationship is tough on anyone, especially if it’s new. Plus, timing is important and you’re not a patient man.”
Now I was able to laugh, although the sound was hollow. “I got that from you.” I’d heard the stories about how he’d chased our mother relentlessly. “You refused to allow Mom to say no.”
“At a risk of losing her and I almost did. You know that. Are you telling me this girl is the one?”
My father had a way of stumping me with the simplest questions.
“Physically, I can’t stop aching. All I do is think about her and I’ve only known her for a few days.
Maybe it’s because we connected so deeply.
I don’t know. It’s possible I could make a fool of myself to try and get her to go out with me again.
Isn’t that ridiculous?” I pressed my fist against my forehead, willing the ache to leave.
My gut had churned since walking out of the theater. I’d lost track of time doing nothing more than driving around. For the second time. Lost in a fog. That wasn’t like me in the least.
“Tell me when you witnessed behavior much like you’ve described?”
Opening my eyes, I slowly lowered my hand. “Wait. Are you suggesting Chelsea could be my mate?”
“Stranger things have occurred. Haven’t they?”
Both Ford and Beck had turned into crazed males, possessive to the point they’d both come close to turning into stalkers. Because they’d found their mates.
My God. I’d read some of the headings on Instagram and TikTok about whether I’d found my mate. No wonder she’d wanted nothing to do with me. How could she?
“There’s no way she’s my mate, Dad.”
“Maybe. Maybe not. Are your palms sweating right now as we’re talking?”
I opened my hand, easily noticing the shimmer of perspiration. “Maybe.”
“And your heartrate is elevated?”
“Yes.”
“You already said you can’t stop thinking about her. Has anything happened while the two of you were together to evoke your beast and I’m not talking about with your romance.” Pops’ way of talking about passion.
“Yeah, I wanted to crush a guy’s bones for thinking about hitting on her.”
“Then you need to face the possibility. Remember, neither Georgia nor Sloane were interested in anything long term with your brothers. They had to warm their way into the women’s hearts.”
“You mean worm, Dad. They were insistent.”
“Yes, they were. Just like I was with your mother.”
The coach was standing outside the bus, obviously looking for me. “I gotta go, Dad, but what do I do?”
“Do you want to see her again?”
“Absolutely.”
“Then find a way of letting her know that has nothing to do with you being possessive. Just be Cole, the kid who used to pick flowers for his mother just to make her smile. As far as hockey, if you think either your mother or I will be angry if you choose another career, you’d be wrong.
We will support you and your choices, including whoever becomes your wife or your mate.
Family is most important. More than money or power, more than notoriety or friendships.
You’ll always be able to count on family. ”
I’d seen my parents go through so many difficulties in their lives, worried about money while never allowing us to know.
The sawmill had almost gone under twice yet they’d kept up a charade so the three boys could play hockey, and the baby sister could attend college. They’d do anything for their kids.
“Now, about hockey. If the only reason you’re playing is to make us proud, don’t.
That’s only going to cause you pain and eventually resentment, even if you don’t think so.
Play because you love the sport, the rush that you always told me you enjoyed.
Play because you can’t think of doing anything else.
Play for the camaraderie even if by doing so you can’t be friends off the ice.
Most of all, play because your heart and soul are fulfilled by doing so.
If not, you’ll have your answer and like I said, we’ll support you in whatever the endeavor.
However, right now your team is counting on you, Cole.
And in truth, you need them as much as they need you.
Concentrate on the games. Then take some time for yourself. The rest will work itself out.”
My father had a way of putting everything succinctly. “Thanks, Dad. I’ll keep everything in mind.”
“One last thing. No matter what women might tell you, they do enjoy a man going to great lengths to show how much he cares. They might not admit it, but they do.”
“I guess it worked.”
“You bet. After some serious groveling. Let me know how it all works out, Cole.”
“I will.” After ending the call, I let out a deep, heavy breath. Pops knew me far too well.
I certainly wasn’t going to accomplish anything by sitting out the game. Grabbing my duffle and keys, after locking the door I took a few seconds to head toward the bus where the coach was still waiting.
I would take what my father said to heart.
I could remember a time when there had been nothing else in the world but hockey.
I’d lived it in every aspect of my life.
Mentally, physically, and emotionally. I’d shown up at the rink even before it had been open.
I wasn’t certain what had changed, but I needed to figure it out.
As soon as I approached, he glared at me. Roxanne also stepped off the bus. Instead of glaring, she was smirking.