4. Presley
“Can you help me find a book?”
I smile down at the kindergartener blinking up at me with big, brown eyes. “Of course. Which book are you looking for?”
“It’s about a lion.” He holds up both of his hands and pantomimes claws. “Rawr!”
I tap my chin while I think. “I might need some more details than that. Do you know what the story is about?”
He goes into a seemingly endless monologue about a lion and a mouse and a forest, and a bunch of other details that I’m not sure where they came from because they most-definitely are not in the book he’s talking about.
I walk around my desk and hold out my hand for him to take. “Come on. I think I know exactly where your book is.”
I lead him to the fiction section where the larger picture books are, and scan the shelf until I spot the spine I’m looking for. “Is this it?”
He gasps and bounces on his toes. “That’s it!”
“Ryan,” his teacher warns. “Lower your voice in the library.”
He covers his mouth with his tiny hand while his eyes flick up to mine. “Sorry, Ms. King.”
I give him a pat on his shoulder. “It’s okay, Ryan. Enjoy your book.”
“Thanks for helping me.”
“Anytime, kid.”
I head back to my desk just in time to see my phone lighting up with an incoming call. My heart leaps into my throat at the sight of the number on the screen.
I spin around and hold up the phone to my ear. “Hello?”
“Hi, Ms. King. This is Avery’s principal, Mr. Sturges.”
“Is everything okay?”
“Avery is healthy and safe.” He pauses, and I close my eyes waiting for him to continue. “But we caught him trying to cut class this afternoon. I have him here in my office.”
I stifle a groan and press my palm against my chest. “I’m so sorry, Mr. Sturges. Can I talk to him, please?”
“Of course.”
After a pause, Avery’s voice comes through the speaker. “Hi, Aunt Presley.”
I heave a sigh. “Are you alright?”
“Yeah, I’m fine.”
“What class were you trying to cut?”
“Gym.”
My stomach clenches. “Thought so. Have you told Mr. Sturges why you were cutting gym?”
“No.”
“Well, someone there needs to know what’s going on.”
“Please, no.” His voice sounds desperate. “You promised.”
“I know I did, but you can’t keep cutting gym every week. You’re going to fail and have to take it over in summer school. Who the hell wants to take gym over the summer?”
“It’d be better than taking it with all these other kids.”
He has a point, and now I realize that’s exactly his plan.
“Are you mad?” he asks.
“No, of course I’m not mad. I just wish you would let me help you.”
“It’ll only make it worse.”
“I know, I know.” I was a kid once. I remember how cruel high schoolers can be. “Put Mr. Sturges back on the phone.”
“Love you.”
“Love you most.”
When the principal returns to the call, I choose my words carefully. “Look, Avery doesn’t want me to tell you the truth about what’s going on, so I’m going to be as cryptic as I can. Is there another elective he can take in place of gym? I’m sure you’re aware of the things that can go in inside of a boys’ locker room, and I don’t feel like it’s a safe environment for him.”
“Ms. King, if there is something going on in my school, then I’d like to know about it. Are you saying there’s a bullying situation?”
There’s been a bullying situation since this kid started at that school, but I promised Avery I wouldn’t say anything to anyone, and I’m a woman of my word.
“I can neither confirm nor deny that, sir. However, I’m asking—no, I’m begging—can you please find a different option for Avery? There has to be something you can come up with to help. You know what our family has been through, and high school is hard enough without the boy’s parents.”
I hate playing the dead parent card, but I’ll protect my nephew at all costs.
Mr. Sturges lets out a long sigh. “I’ll talk to the art teacher and see if there’s anything she needs help with during fifth period.”
“Thank you, sir. I appreciate your help.”
“But Avery was still caught cutting class, so I’m going to have to discipline him for that.”
“Yes, of course. Totally understandable.”
“Though I suppose detention isn’t the best spot for him under the circumstances,” he murmurs. “I’ll keep him in my office for thirty minutes after school. You can pick him up here in the office at 4:00.”
“Not a problem. Thanks so much.”
I toss the phone back onto my desk and let out a breath of relief.
Ryan’s teacher and my best friend, Dominique, leans against my desk. “Everything okay?”
I run my fingers through my hair and let my hand fall at my side. “Avery got caught cutting gym.”
She grimaces. “Those boys are still bothering him?”
I nod, curling my hands into fists. “I wish I could kick their teenage a—hi, Ryan. Are you all set with your books?”
He nods. “Were you just going to say a curse word, Ms. King?”
“No, not at all.” I scoff, feigning innocence. “Cursing is bad. I would never, and you shouldn’t either.”
Dominique stifles a laugh as she turns around.
Ryan’s eyes flick to my arms. “My mom says you have too many tattoos to work in a school. But I like them. They’re pretty.”
Your mom can take the stick out of her ass and go fuck herself with it, buddy.
I plaster on a fake smile. “Thanks, kid.”
I scan his books, and check out the rest of the class’s books before their library period is over.
“We’re still on for drinks after dinner tonight, right?” Dominique asks as she holds open the door for her class.
“Yes.” My shoulders slump forward. “I need a girls’ night like you have no idea.”
“Janelle is so excited for Avery and Alyssa to come over.”
I smile. “Alyssa already has a giant bag of games packed. And I told Avery I’d pay him to babysit, so he’s also excited.”
A little bribery never hurt anyone.
Dominique laughs. “See you later, boo.”
Excitement courses through me. One night a month, my niece and nephew babysit Dominique’s seven-year-old while she and I have a couple of drinks. It only lasts two hours max, but it’s the one night a month I get to feel like myself a little bit. Not the legal guardian who spends all her free time doing laundry and cleaning up after two teenagers; not the young adult who was thrown into an unfortunate situation she wasn’t prepared for and missed out on half of her college years; and not the prim-and-proper school librarian who can’t say curse words or show off her tattoos without getting scrutinized.
I’ve had to repress so much of who I am, and forget about who I’d once wanted to be. And I’d make the same choices all over again if it meant being here to raise and protect my sister’s kids. But I can’t pretend that it hasn’t been difficult.
So, tonight, I get to have a little fun.
Just one night.
“I always forget how hot you are.”
I cough out an incredulous laugh. “Is that supposed to be a compliment?”
Dominique shrugs. “I’m just saying, you’re all covered up like this innocent little school librarian. Then we come out and you’re dressed up like this , and it takes me a minute to remember you’re a fucking smoke show.”
“Sometimes I forget how hot I am too.” I gesture to my tits. “Seriously, do you know when these babies last saw the light of day aside from in the shower?”
She pokes my cleavage. “Such a shame. They’re so perky.”
I glance down at her index finger touching my boobs. “And this is the most action I’ve gotten in an embarrassingly long time.”
Dominique laughs before lifting her martini to her lips. “That’s your own fault. You know you can have any guy you want within a ten-mile radius.”
I’m shaking my head before she even finishes her sentence. “I can’t deal with that right now.”
“I know it’d be hard when you’re home with the kids every night, but you know I’d watch them if you wanted to go on a date every once in a while.”
“I know you would, and I appreciate that.”
“But...?”
“But...” I wipe at the condensation on my glass. “I haven’t met anyone who really does it for me.”
It being that spark. That connection.
“You’ve only been out with a few guys in the last four years. You have to give yourself more opportunities to find someone you click with.”
I cringe thinking about the dates I’ve been on. The guys were very nice, and I knew I should have been interested in them, yet I felt nothing. No excitement. No butterflies. No true attraction.
And the sex was god-awful.
Dominique sucks her teeth. “Besides, you weren’t going after the right guys. You don’t like nice guys. You like ‘em nasty.”
I tilt my head back as a loud laugh rips from my throat. “I seriously regret telling you everything I did during my wild college days.”
“Girl, those are my favorite stories. I never experimented in college, and I’d give anything to go back in time and have a little fun before meeting my husband and getting knocked up.”
I did enjoy myself back then. Until it was cut short by the news of my sister’s accident, and finding out that I’d become the legal guardian of her children. I went from getting baked, to bake sales; from toga parties, to school trips. I had to leave my carefree youth behind and become a responsible adult.
I also had to leave behind the two men I’m currently staring at on the TV hanging above us. McKinley and Kellerman toss their gloves and trade blows in the middle of the rink, blood pouring from both of their faces. The referee skates over and breaks them apart, forcing each of them into their respective penalty boxes.
Some things never change.
My body heats at the reminder of how many of their fights ended—with me wrapped between them in one of our dorm rooms.
Do they still fool around? Do they spend time together? Do they remember me?
I’ve kept tabs on the boys over the years they’ve played professional hockey. Maybe it’s silly to hold onto a college fling, but sometimes the memories of our time together are the only things getting me through the lonely nights.
Dominique snaps her fingers in front of my face, drawing me back to the present. “You good?”
“Yeah, sorry.” I clear my throat. “Was watching the game.”
Though I’ve told my best friend about my polyamorous college experience, I never told her who it was with. Protecting Kellerman’s secret, even now, means something to me.
Which is totally ridiculous, because he’s probably long forgotten about me.
“I feel like I’m sitting here with Jeff. If there’s a hockey game on, I’m completely invisible.” Dominique suddenly sits up ramrod straight. “We should go to a hockey game together. Jeff’s co-worker gets him free tickets all the time.” She gasps. “And the guy is newly divorced. We should make it a double-date!”
I grimace. “No, no. You know I hate being set up.”
Ignoring me, she pulls out her phone, no doubt texting Jeff.
I snatch her phone out of her hands. “Blind dates are so awkward. I don’t want to sit there and have forced conversation with someone I don’t know.”
The bar erupts in cheers as the Goldfinches score a goal, surging ahead by two points. My eyes follow McKinley across the screen as he raises his stick over his head, wearing his signature cocky grin.
The grin he used to flash at me .
Longing seeps into my chest before I can stop it. And it’s not just desire for a man I once knew. It’s the fact that he and Kellerman are out there living their dreams, having everything they’ve worked for at the palm of their hands, and I’m...here.
I love my niece and nephew more than anything in this world, and I would never trade them for a different life. But my dreams were cut short when I lost my sister, and I can’t help but think about what my life would be like if she were still alive.
“Can I be honest with you, Pres?”
I blink at Dominique before nodding. “Of course.”
“I think you purposely sabotage your love life because you think you don’t deserve to have anything good without your sister.”
The corners of my lips turn downward as I avert my gaze. “Why did her life have to be taken? She was so young. She had everything.”
“I don’t know.” Dominique clasps my hand. “But she’d want you to live your life to the fullest. And I don’t think that’s what you’re doing. You go to work at a job you never wanted; you’re playing a mom role you never wanted. You’re not really living . You’re just going through the motions.”
I hike a shoulder, pretending like her words don’t sting as badly as they do. “I don’t know what to do about that. Maybe once the kids go off to college, I can focus on myself. But right now? I have a responsibility to them. To my sister. I have to take care of them. My wants and needs aren’t a priority right now.”
“You need to take care of you too, Pres. Take it from another mom.” She squeezes my hand. “Please, just come out with us and meet Jeff’s friend. If you don’t like him, I’ll leave you alone about dating.”
I arch a brow. “You’ll leave me alone?”
She rolls her eyes. “For, like, a month.”
I laugh and my shoulders droop forward. “Fine. One double date, and that’s it.”
Who knows? Maybe this guy will turn out to be the love of my life.