15. Kellerman
I shouldn’t be here.
I glance around the table at Stephen’s friends, everyone talking comfortably with one another—Stephen at the forefront of the conversation, as usual. He’s outgoing and personable, always making everyone laugh with his antics.
Presley is in the same boat as I am, meeting these people for the first time, yet she doesn’t seem as uncomfortable as I feel. She’s easy to get along with, and can adapt to any situation. Even Alyssa fits right in, asking questions and laughing along with the strangers she just met.
I nudge Avery with my elbow. “What was your favorite part of your day?”
He thinks on it while he chews, and then he swallows. “Seeing Austin’s face when he saw me getting signed out of school to hang out with you guys.”
I smirk. “That felt pretty cool, huh?”
“Yeah.” He sips on his water. “I don’t know if it’ll make a difference, but it made me feel better than them for a day.”
I shift in my seat to face him. “Hey, you should feel better than them every day—and not just because you got to rub some pro athlete friends in their faces.”
“It’s okay.” Avery pushes the food around in his plate. “I know I’m not. They’re bigger, stronger, cooler.”
I tip his chin to bring his eyes to mine. “What people look like on the outside means nothing. It’s what’s in their hearts—how they treat people when they have nothing to gain—that shows their true character. You’re smart and creative and kind; you look out for your sister and help your aunt. You’re a good person, Avery. Don’t let a bunch of asshole kids make you feel less than. You’re better than they could ever hope to be. Do you understand me?”
His eyes dart around the table as it falls silent, everyone’s attention now on us, and his cheeks redden. “Yes, I understand.”
Presley dabs at the corner of her eye with her napkin. “I didn’t know you felt like that.”
Avery shrugs. “It’s not something I like to talk about.”
But he talked about it with me.
Pride swells in my chest, especially when Presley reaches under the table and clasps my hand.
Here I am, giving Avery advice to boost his confidence, yet I’m thinking that I don’t fit in with this group, wishing I could be more like Stephen. But if I weren’t exactly the person I am, maybe I wouldn’t have been able to form this connection with Avery.
And I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
Celeste—the only one whose name I remember because she’s so loud and bold—leans on her elbows and gestures between Presley, Stephen, and me. “So, how do you three know each other again, college?”
Presley clears her throat. “Uh, yeah. We met at a party, and we were inseparable for a while after that.”
Celeste watches us from over the rim of her wine glass. “And neither one of you tried hitting on Presley?”
Stephen chuckles. “Oh, we definitely did. We— ouch !” He glares at Presley across the table. “What was that for?”
Her eyes dart to the kids. “So sorry. I didn’t realize that was your leg.”
I try to help smooth things over. “We both had a crush on Presley. I think that aided to our rivalry.”
“Do you have a crush on her now?” Alyssa asks, wide eyes blinking between the three of us.
Stephen and I glance at Presley, letting her take this conversation where she feels it should be around the kids.
“We’re just friends,” she says quietly. “It’s been a long time since we’ve been in each other’s lives, and we’re getting to know each other all over again.”
But Alyssa doesn’t let it go. “You said you were reading a book where a girl fell in love with two people at the same time, and I asked you if you were ever in love, and then you said you were in college.” Her keen eyes dart to me and Stephen. “Were you in love with them ?”
Jesus, this kid is sharp.
Avery chokes on his water, and slaps his chest as he sputters.
Celeste grins. “Yeah, Pres. Were you in love with these two back in college?”
Presley looks mortified, so I jump in before Stephen says something he shouldn’t in front of the kids. “Hey, Celeste. I’m new here. I don’t know the story about how you, Kourtney, and Jason got together.”
Alyssa nods fervently. “See, Aunt Presley? You can be married to two people at the same time, just like them.”
“Drop it, ‘Lyss,” Avery chimes in.
Her bottom lip juts out. “What? I’m just saying, it’s possible. And I like Stephen and Chance. They help when they’re around, and Aunt Presley smiles a lot more.”
Presley rubs her temples. “Let’s save this conversation for another time, okay? We can have a girl talk before bed.”
Alyssa beams. “Promise?”
“Promise, promise.”
Celeste finally takes control of the conversation. “Kourtney, Jason, and I were best friends in high school. Kourtney was dating Jay at the time, but then they broke up after we went away to college.”
“She broke up with me,” Jason interrupts. “I did not want to break up, for the record.”
Kourtney leans in and presses a kiss to his cheek. “But we found our way back to each other, and that’s all that matters.”
“Kourtney and I, uh, got together in college.” Celeste glances at the kids, no doubt tiptoeing around the inappropriate parts. “Then I got hired to do PR for Trenton in Seattle, so I left and Kourtney stayed behind.”
Presley winces. “That must’ve been hard being so far away from each other.”
Celeste nods. “But then Trenton got himself into a bit of drama, and got traded to the Goldfinches, so I came back here and got reunited with Kourtney and Jason.”
“You’re welcome,” Trenton says, raising his beer.
“And that’s when he met me!” Cassidy beams at Trenton’s side.
“Wow.” Presley looks around the table at everyone. “You’re all interwoven into each other’s lives. It’s like everything was meant to be just to bring you all together.”
“Much like you three.” Alexander gestures to us. “Seems like you were brought back into each other’s lives for a reason.”
“That’s exactly what I said.” Stephen clinks his beer bottle against Alexander’s, and swings his gaze to me. “Can’t fight fate, no matter how hard one might try.”
I’ve fought to keep my feelings for Stephen hidden for years, and hidden my sexual orientation for even longer.
But sitting around this table with such open-minded, accepting people—especially with a healthy, loving polyamorous trio like Celeste, Kourtney, and Jason—I’m starting to wonder if it’s time I come out of hiding.
What kind of hypocrite does it make me if I can’t heed the advice I’m giving Avery? If he can learn to believe in himself, and stand up to his bullies, then I should be able to learn to embrace the man I truly am.
For Avery.
For Presley.
For Stephen.
And for myself.