34. Kellerman
Two days.
It’s been two days since the game. Two days since Alexander has been in a coma. Two days since I’ve spoken to Stephen.
Two days since my heart has splintered in half.
Ivanov crossed a line that night. I had it handled; I was covering Alexander, putting pressure on the play. We were both scrambling for possession of the puck, heads down, and I caught a glimpse of him coming one second too late. I shouted for him to stop, tried to alert Alexander, but it all happened so fast.
This was the last thing I ever expected.
I’ve tried to call Stephen for the past two days, but he refuses to answer. I don’t want Presley feeling like she’s in the middle of this, so I told her to stay with him and be strong for him while he’s waiting for his best friend to come back to him.
If he comes back.
Memories of my mother have been at the forefront of my mind. If it weren’t for me, she wouldn’t have run out in front of the car to protect me from my father. If it weren’t for me, maybe Alexander wouldn’t be in a coma right now.
It’s like everything I touch turns to shit.
Like I’m destined for nothing but horror and sadness.
I’ve known it all along. I only deluded myself these last few months, letting myself believe that I could have things as beautiful and pure as love and happiness.
I was so fucking wrong.
Stephen’s car pulls up to Presley’s house, and rolls into the driveway. I get out of my car and make my way up the path to meet him before he goes into the house.
He does a double-take over his shoulder, and glares at me with tired, sunken-in eyes. “Get the fuck out of here, Chance.”
“Can we just talk?”
“I have nothing to say to you.” He turns and walks toward the porch stairs. “Do not follow me. You’re not welcome here.”
“Stephen, please.” Presley’s voice has both of our heads snapping up to the front door. “Talk to him. We can sit together and talk it out.”
“There is nothing to talk about, Pres.” Stephen’s jaw clenches. I’ve never seen him so angry before. So closed off. “Alex is in a coma because of him . There’s nothing he can say to make this better.”
“Chance!” Avery pushes past Presley and bounds down the stairs, jumping into my arms. “You’re here.”
“Hey, bud.” I wrap my arms around him and hold him tight.
“I missed you,” he says, his voice muffled against my chest.
Unexpected tears sting my eyes. “Me too.”
Alyssa runs out the door next. “Chance, are you staying?”
I hug her to my side, emotion clogging my throat. I don’t know what to say, don’t know if I belong here anymore.
“Chance is going home,” Stephen says. He crosses his arms over his chest, drawing a clear line in the sand between us.
The kids look to Presley.
I don’t want to do this in front of them, and I know Presley doesn’t either. I need to walk away, as much as it kills me.
I ruffle Alyssa’s hair, and squeeze Avery’s shoulder. “It’s okay, guys. I’ll catch you later.”
“No, don’t go.” Avery grips my wrist as he turns to his aunt. “Please, Aunt Presley. Let him stay.”
Her shoulders droop as she glances at Stephen, unsure of what to do. “Let’s go inside so we can talk.”
I shake my head. “It’s okay. I have to get ready for a game tomorrow,” I lie. “Just wanted to stop by and say hi.”
“Can I come with you?” Avery asks. “I’ll come to your game, and I’ll be quiet on the bus. I promise. Please, I just want to stay with you.”
My heart wrenches in my chest. “You have school tomorrow, kid. But I’ll FaceTime you from the hotel. How does that sound?”
His eyebrows push together as he drops his head.
I tip his chin. “Take care of your aunt, okay?”
He nods, but he won’t meet my eyes. Presley tries to reach for him as he walks past her, but he shakes her off and storms into the house.
Alyssa slinks back inside, void of her usual spunkiness.
Fuck, I shouldn’t have come here.
Presley comes down the stairs and she pulls me close to her. I breathe her in as she lifts onto her toes as she puts her arms around the back of my neck.
“Don’t give up on him,” she whispers. “Don’t give up on us.”
But it’s already too late.
I pull back and turn to Stephen. My hand twitches, dying to reach out and touch him. But he won’t even look at me.
“So, that’s it, huh?” I arch a brow, hot tears filling my eyes. “All that talk about us being together forever, no matter what...it was conditional.”
His eyebrows hit his hairline. “ You did this. This isn’t my fault. You ruined everything like you always do.”
His words hit me like bullets. “I didn’t mean to! It was an accident.”
“Bullshit.” He charges down the stairs and shoves me back. “You and Ivanov play rough, and you knew exactly what you were doing that night.”
I step forward so we’re chest to chest. “It’s not bullshit. I didn’t mean for this to happen. You just need someone to blame to make yourself feel better.”
“This is what you do. You let all your pent-up anger from your past eat away at you, and you lash out at everyone else. Your rage cost my best friend his life.” He throws a punch, and I don’t put my hands up to block it. “He’s in the hospital right now, while his family cries at his bedside, not knowing if he’ll ever come back to them.”
Presley tugs on his arm. “Stephen...”
“It’s okay, Pres.” I arch a taunting brow at him. “Let him get it out.”
He needs someone to take out his pain on. I’ll bear it all for him.
The anger radiates off his body, his eyes like cold sapphire stones. I’ve never seen him like this before, and it terrifies me that my actions have brought him to this point.
Stephen’s fist connects with my jaw again. “Come on, fight back, you prick.” Another punch. “You love violence so much; you know you want to hit me back. This is what fuels you.”
“It’s not. Not anymore.”
Not like it used to. I’ve come a long way from the man my father poisoned.
Or maybe this is who I truly am, and have been all along.
Maybe I’ll never be able to escape it.
I lift my hand and he flinches, but he doesn’t pull away as I press my palm against his cheek. “I’m sorry, Stephen. I’m so sorry.”
It’s all I can offer, though it’s not enough.
For a fraction of a second, his eyes soften. My heart clenches in my chest, and I hold my breath, waiting for whatever’s about to come out of his mouth next.
Please forgive me, baby.
I didn’t mean to do this.
Can’t you see that?
Don’t you see me?
Without a word, his arm cocks back and he punches me again. “For someone who tries so hard to not be like your father, you’re sure following right in his footsteps.”
Betrayal pierces my heart like an arrow. His words wound me more than his fists ever could.
I wipe my lip with the back of my hand, and blood smears across my skin.
Presley’s shoulders shake as she cries.
This is all because of me.
All I do is cause problems and pain.
I let my eyes roam over the two loves of my life one last time before I turn and walk back to my car.
Leaving my bloody heart at their feet.