Chapter 24 #2
“Later on, I found that my grandparents threatened my father with taking his pack away if he ever hurt any of us again. They were my mother’s parents, very wealthy, and my father knew they had the means to carry out their threat.
In honor of them, Jackson named Daniel after our grandfather.
It was a lucky break for Cody, Colton, Carson, Dakota and Zane.
They never suffered as Jackson and I had about being gay.
Later on, as I grew up, I realized my mother, who loved my father and was his Fated Mate, made a choice to protect her children even if it caused her mate pain.
But she suffered for it the rest of her life. ”
“She must have been an amazing mother,” Kieran said softly.
“Yes, she was,” answered Logan, getting lost again in his memories.
Rousing himself, he continued. “While my brother benefitted from his summer with our grandparents, I didn’t handle it well at all.
By the end of the summer, I was the silent, reserved one, never speaking unless I had to, always standing apart, making sure no one would or could get close enough to hurt, and I vowed never to leave Jackie again.
I didn’t know how I was going to keep that vow, since my father had disowned me, but I put it aside to deal with later. ”
Logan lapsed into silence remembering how afraid he felt when Jackson announced he’d found his Fated Mate and his shame at first thinking about not wanting it to happen.
All those long-buried emotions were now coming to the surface and Logan wasn’t sure if he could handle them, but he kept going.
“When my brother saw how introspective I’d become, he tried to help.
but by that time, I didn’t want any. I had grown over the summer and was now taller than Jackie, so no one bullied me again.
I did my chores and then retreated to my room where I could lose myself in art.
Then, one day I discovered interior design and I was hooked.
Nobody knew about my new love except my twin and I swore him to secrecy.
I wasn’t about to have that tainted by my father.
“I picked the same college he picked, made sure I enrolled in as many of the same classes, and roomed with him. No one would ever separate us again. Throughout all this, I just kept building the wall, burying my anger, helplessness and hatred toward my father. At times, it overwhelmed me, but Jackie always knew when it was happening because he’d whisk me away somewhere to soothe my troubled soul. ”
Kieran knew what was coming—his spirit warned him—but he made no effort to stop it.
Logan had to get it all out. Give voice to the darkness that had ruled him for so many years.
So, he said nothing and stayed where he was, on his mate’s chest, but tears, one by one, began to roll down his face as he waited for Logan to finish.
Letting out a deep breath, Logan spoke. “We were in Las Vegas on a spur-of-the-moment trip after our school year was over when Jackson got the call from Jimmy about the massacre. My first thought was about my father and how glad I was he was finally out of my life. But then, the reality of losing my mother and siblings set in, along with the guilt I felt for being happy about my father’s death.
The two emotions went to war in my mind and I couldn’t handle it, so I stopped thinking and became numb to every feeling in my body.
From that day until I met you, I lived my life with as little feeling as possible and, to make sure it stayed that way, I continued to build my wall to make sure I’d never feel guilt or hatred or any other emotion, for that matter.
“But then you arrived with your love of pink and your sassiness and I found myself yearning to feel once again…really feel. Your light filled me with hope…hope about my future…hope about love…hope that I could start to live because I knew I hadn’t been living.
No, I was just existing…unable to move forward.
Suddenly I found myself daydreaming about what my life with you could be.
” Logan squeezed his eyes shut, trying to stop his tears.
Kieran was crying. He couldn’t help it. The pain was rolling off his mate and crashing over Kieran like ocean waves.
He hugged Logan tightly, kissed his chest, and moved his entire body on top of his mate’s, trying to absorb the roiling waters, but nothing worked.
Desperate to offer some relief, Kieran did the only thing he could think of—he sang an ancient song to Logan, a song designed to comfort and ease pain.
The haunting melody wrapped itself around Logan and found its way through the crack in his wall…forcing it wider until it finally crumbled…and then, the love-laced notes began to envelop Logan’s long-lost soul…his ice soul…a soul long frozen and lost.
Kieran sang from his heart…sang for his mate’s loss…sang for his pain, and while waiting for the notes to melt the ice of Logan’s soul, he held his mate tightly, letting him know they were one and neither would ever be alone again.