Chapter Fourteen
Sequin
Heat was always like time traveling. Time sped up, slowed down, and seemingly paused at the most random intervals. I distinctly remembered the others being there when we arrived back at the house that night after our claiming vows but when I next resurfaced enough to think about them, they were long gone.
I lost my sense of time to Xav. He was everywhere, touching me, knotting me, making love to me when I needed him the most. He fed me and dragged me into the shower and then back out into the bed for a nap. Sometimes I slept on the kitchen table spread out with the fan blowing on my balls to stop myself from overheating. For the first time since I had my first phone, I didn’t bother with it. I didn’t check texts, missed calls, or social media. It didn’t even cross my mind to worry about what I might be missing. The world was on its own because Xav was the only person in existence that I wanted to think about. What I couldn’t figure out was how I ever lived without him.
“Didn’t know what you were missing,” my dragon whispered back into my thoughts one afternoon.
I blinked up at the dark ceiling. No lights came through the windows either. Must’ve been night. The fan was blowing right on my balls and I was once again stretched out on the kitchen table. I smelled soap and fruit. Somewhere in the kitchen Xav must’ve left a snack plate for later. My eyes bounced from chair to chair around the table, but they were all empty. Then the chilly air caressed my thigh and a smile pulled at the corners of my lips. One day that wouldn’t startle me. One day, I’d know exactly where he was even when he was ice.
A second later, a tiny almost translucent ice wyrm sat on my thigh. He nuzzled into my flesh before walking up to my chest, leaving behind a trail of tiny cold footprints. I ran a finger over his head and down his back. He was perfect. My perfect Xav. My stomach growled and that meant he’d shift back to his elven form and make me eat again soon. Though, this time I actually felt hungry. Though, I wouldn’t have said no to another knotting. I touched my forehead, cheeks, and neck. I wasn’t as warm as I had been when I dozed off but that didn’t mean my heat had finally gone away. Xav had been all over me in his ice form.
“You were starting to cool down before I did that. I just wanted to take a nap too but didn’t want to leave you alone,” he said over the mating link.
“I’m sorry I’ve run you ragged. I’m going to have to turn the tables when this is over,” I said, stretching my arms and legs as far as I could. My spine crackled as if I’d slept in the fetal position for a month.
“I’d settle for you actually being hungry a few times a day. I was worried at first. This isn’t a Starscale world. I wasn’t sure how you all handled taking care of newly met mates. Thought I might actually have to hunt down a kraken but the baskets came nonetheless. I think either Teddy or Liatris made the trip to bring them over. Maybe they took turns.”
“How long has it been?”
“I think we’re on day seventeen.”
“Seventeen?” I sat up, nearly knocking him off my chest and having to grab him at the last second.
“Yeah. I was marking it on the calendar but then I lost track of if I marked one day or not. So, I think seventeen give or take a day or so,” he said, shifting back to ice and then to his elven form, sitting next to me at the table.
“Seventeen days?” I blinked. “I don’t think I’ve ever had a heat last that long. Where’s my phone? I don’t want to call anyone. I just want to see what day it is. The night of the cave was the fifth.”
“Wherever you left it. Mine too. They both made it back that night. I didn’t---”
“Think about them until now?” I laughed. “Me neither.”
It took a few trips around the house for us to find our phones in the laundry room without any memory of how they were put up on the top shelf above the appliances between the washing powder and dryer sheets.
“Eighteen days,” I said after doing some quick math. “I was in heat for eighteen days.”
“I did miss a day then,” Xav mused.
“Are you okay?” I looked him up and down. He wore only a pair of boxers and looked as tired as I felt.
“I’m fine. I probably missed a few meals here and there but I ate more than I could get you to eat,” he touched my cheek as he spoke. “I’d never heard of a dragon refusing food before.”
“Sorry,” I said and bit my lip.
“It’s not your fault and I kept you hydrated. That was easier. Got you a few shakes down the hatch too.”
“I vaguely remember drinking something chalky that tasted vaguely of vanilla and raspberries.”
“That was the protein shake,” he nodded. “You hated it, but you managed.”
A grin spread over my face as it all came back to me. Not so much the shakes. Those fuckers were gross.
“Is it bad that it’s been eighteen days and I still don’t want to go outside?” I smirked.
“No.”
“Shit! Did you extend our stay or are we just squatting now?”
“It’s open ended for the foreseeable future. I did talk to Teddy at some point. Over the flight link I think because it couldn’t have been the phone,” Xav mused. “He said he was switching the house onto a company card, whatever that is because he wasn’t sure what you had it all set up on.”
“Thank Frost and Juda for our responsible Teddy,” I said and Xav pulled me into a hug.
I froze against him, falling immobile as I waited for heat to squeeze around my middle again. When it didn’t, I let out a long sigh of relief and hugged him back. Thousands of years ago, my survival during heat would’ve depended on him. He would’ve been all that stood between me and the world while I writhed around inside a body that was desperate to reproduce the next generation. We’d come a long way and maybe I was doing omegas everywhere a disservice but I felt blessed to have him. Thankful that he didn’t toss his hands up and walk away when I decided not to eat or to keep going with all the romping while not feeding me.
“Mate,” Xav said softly. “I’ve heard how bad some Earthside alphas are, but I wouldn’t do that. Hell, I’m still not convinced I fed you well enough for all the workouts we had. Besides, this is half my fault too. You didn’t meet yourself and go into heat. Maybe we didn’t read the fine print when we did whatever the first claiming vows were but that’s okay. I’m not gonna lie. It’s been a hot few weeks. It was nice in some ways but I’d have traded all of that for you to have felt better.”
“Heat isn’t like being sick,” I frowned at him. “You know that.”
“Anything that makes you lose your appetite worries me,” he countered. “I never said it was like being sick, but you were burning up and didn’t want to eat.”
“Because I wanted you more than I wanted food,” I mock pouted at him, but it was the truth. “Maybe heat used to be a test to see if mates could actually survive together. Like if you had just humped like we were bunnies ---” Xav put his hand over my mouth but I kept talking. “We wouldn’t have been okay.”
“I’d have deserved to be stoned to death if I did that,” he said, his dark eyes turning serious. “I know there are a lot of opinions about heat cycles and how they should be handled. I don’t have one. It’s not up to me to speak to all of that as far as preventatives or whatever but as for if people should be fed during them? One hundred precent. If someone is choosing not to feed their mate while they’re in an altered state, they should be executed.”
“It’s hot when you get all worked up like that,” I smiled. “I think most people are driven to take care of their mates like you are, Xav. I think those who aren’t are few and far between. How broken would someone have to be to not be concerned about their literal other half not eating?”
“I couldn’t imagine anyone doing that – not to you or anyone else. You deserve more. You deserve the best.”
“If we go back into the kitchen and I let you cook for me or something will that make you feel better?” I asked, resting my hands on his chest. “And just so you know, I do remember things. Some of it is splotchy but you’re there in every memory and a lot of it is food related. I think I’m never gonna get another handjob without thinking it’s also snack time.”
Xav laughed and stole a kiss before leading me into the kitchen. We made lunch together, working side by side, while Xav kept popping bits of fruit into my mouth like I was a small rodent needing constant snacks. The fruit was fresh and tropical and I wasn’t about to complain. He was right. Everyone deserved to be treated well and fed all the time. My older cousin Feral made Pheromone Swap for just that reason. It started out as an app for omegas in heat to find someone to spend those days with. The couple involved would shack up together and live like mates for the duration of the omega’s heat. Maybe I’d gotten lucky in my prior hookups between birth control and meeting decent guys nothing had gone wrong. Sure, it never lasted eighteen days before either. Maybe it stretched out for so long because I knew I was safe and sound with Xav.
After lunch, we took a shower and a nap. This time I woke up with my head resting on Xav’s solid chest with his arm wrapped around me like a protective cocoon. His hair was frosty and my skin chilly for the first time in a long time. I was sore and achy from nearly three weeks of ‘working out,’ but I regretted nothing. Hell, maybe I’d go into heat every year for a couple of weeks and let him take care of me. Still, I wanted to take care of him too. So despite how much I wanted to wake him up for the company, I slipped out of the bed and left him to sleep. I tiptoed into the kitchen where we left our phones. As I scrolled through all my missed calls and texts I wondered if Xav would be down for making a rule about no phones in our bedroom unless it was an emergency exception. He didn’t seem that attached to his to begin with. So, I’d probably be the only one who would forget and break the rule.
Most of my missed texts were from Daliah. Nothing seemed urgent. Most of them were just photographs of her, Rosemary, and their hatchlings traveling around. I missed her but not enough to text her back while my emotions still felt like a rollercoaster ride from my heat cycle. Some were from Dad, Duke, and Teddy. All three of them confirmed that the Scale B&B house was switched over to a company card and not to worry about how long we extended our stay. A few were from Teddy texting me to see if there was anything missing from the ‘matingmoon’ baskets he and Liatris took turns bringing over. I sent him a quick thank you text for always thinking about me and an even quicker apology for not answering sooner. A lesser brother might’ve stopped bringing the baskets all together if someone acted so ungrateful.
“He gets it. He might not have met his mate yet, but Teddy gets it. That’s why Teddy’s always sad or mad. He gets it. Whatever it is, Teddy gets it,” my dragon chimed into my thoughts.
My next text was to Dad. I didn’t know where else to start with the idea of moving over to the Starscale world. I didn’t want to move in on top of him, Nelum, and Elio but if anyone knew how to buy a house over there it would be him. Well, buying wasn’t an option. All the money in the Cromwell accounts wouldn’t do shit for us over there but I was sure there had to be a way to get a house. We were both flight members after all. The shiny star-shaped scales on our chest said that much.
The typing dots on my phone lit up straight away. Then stopped. Then went again. What the heck was Dad thinking about so hard?
DAD: Don’t worry about it, egg brat. We got you covered. You just worry about packing up whatever you can’t live without before you’re too with child to do it. You let us know if you need help. I’ll come over myself or Teddy would come if you’d rather have him. We could both come. Liatris and Selt would probably help out too. I’d recommend leaving the appliances and big stuff for when you want to visit there or move back. We could furnish the house here for you or we’ll leave that up to you when you get here, if you prefer. I’m glad you found him. Xav’s a good guy, if a bit of a mystery to those of us back here. There’s a betting pool on what he shifts into. No, I haven’t participated in it. I won’t be betting on the genetics of my future grandchildren. Speaking of genetics, both of your sister’s eggbrats tested negative for the genes associated with Vulpine Degenerative Disease.
I let out a long, slow breath. I hadn’t even thought of that when I wanted to get pregnant. I hadn’t even thought of that when Daliah’s eggs had hatched. Grief was a son of a bitch that left everyone half blind to what really mattered. As far as I knew, Xav didn’t have any fox in his heritage and that meant a lower chance for our kids to pick up the gene that ultimately killed my mother and my grandfather.
“You alright?” Xav yawned from the doorway, scratching his belly.
“Talking to Dad about moving over. Daliah’s kids testing negative for the gene.”
“That’s a good thing, right?” Xav arched a brow.
“I know my scent and expression say it’s not, but it is,” I nodded. “It’s a really good thing.”
“Ah, the knotting in relation to foxes,” he said, sitting down in the chair next to me.
He grabbed the center of the bottom of my chair and scooted me over until I was directly in front of him.
“It’s not fox. I’m not sure if it’s even wolf. I don’t know all the animals who knot in the wild. It’s not my area of expertise.”
“Punny,” I laughed as he hooked his hands under my knees and my legs over his.
“There’s a lot of lore where I come from and some of it we have verification for. Some of us can and do shift into what you might call astral animals. Sort of like my little form but different. He’s pretty damn solid. I think we’re just a species of elf who refused to choose a singular form, add that to most elements being able to take whatever shape they want and you have me knotting you all over the house,” he smirked.
“You’re evil because I have this urge to flip around on the chair and say make good on that but I’m also tired and sore and sort of hungry.”
Hungry.
That word was all it took for Xav to set my feet back on the floor and go to the fridge. That would become our routine for the next few weeks. As eager as I was to have a permanent home before we had our first kid, I wasn’t eager to give up our solitude just yet. I couldn’t imagine when we’d have another chance to spend this much time alone together.
Only, then came the cravings. I wanted to eat everything in sight. At first, Xav was over the moon. He thought that’s just how we dragons were and that I’d finally recovered from my heat cycle. Only, I’d been back to normal for over a week by the time the insatiable hunger started. I was three days into ordering out for full course meals in between the ones Xav and I cooked together before I started putting the pieces of the puzzle into the right slots.
“Shit!” I said, swallowing nearly a whole slice of pineapple pizza in one bite.
“What? Are you choking?” Xav glanced up from the smutty book he was reading.
“No! Shit! Good shit!” I said, fanning my tongue. That cheese was scorching.
“Mate? Are you alright?” he sat his book down and slid across the room to me.
Once there, he blew an icy puff of air onto my tongue, and I sighed in relief.
“That cheese tried to murder my tongue!” I laughed.
“You gotta blow on it first, babe,” he kissed the tip of my nose.
“I know! You taught me that already,” I mock whined, and we both laughed. “I think I know why I’m eating the universe and it’s not because I’m a dragon. Well, it sort of is because I’m a dragon but not because I’m a dragon.”
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Xav eyed me up and down as if he’d missed something really obvious.
“I am. I think… Shit! I don’t want to get your hopes up but I think I’m pregnant or with egg or however you want to say it. Well, I’m not even sure which way it’ll be. Shit! I know there’s a healer on the island but --- How do I not have a doctor I prefer? I don’t even know who to call or what the next step is.”
“Hey now,” Xav said softly, moving the pizza box back further on the table and leaning against its edge. He cupped my chin and held onto it until I met his gaze. “You know what’s next. I run out to the pharmacy and buy a pregnancy test. That’s the next step. If you don’t want to do it that way we call the clinic and see when they can get you in for an ultrasound or we make Teddy bring over one of those sonic things they use to find out if dragons are with eggs over there. We have options and any of them can come next. Well, second next.”
“What? What’s first next?” I blinked at him.
“Eating your pizza. You’re always anxious when you’re hungry. So tell me which one you want and then finish your pizza.”
“You really wouldn’t mind running out for the test?” I asked him.
“I’ll even buy two if you want to make sure the first one isn’t a dirty, rotten liar.”
I rested my head against his stomach, and he rubbed my shoulders. I wasn’t sure whether I hoped for an egg or a live birth. I wasn’t sure about anything except I wanted to be excited. I was excited in a very literal way but also it meant the time had come that I had to get my scaley tail in gear and pack up what I needed from my London house.
***
An hour later, we were in the bathroom and Xav watched me pee on a stick. I wasn’t sure what color to expect the pixelated baby to be anymore. Medical technology moved faster than I cared to keep up with. All I needed was a yes or no. Usually, I didn’t mind all the extras but right now I needed the facts.
“Are you nervous or excited?” Xav asked, leaning over to sniff the crook of my neck.
“Both.”
“More of which one?” he asked.
“I’m not nervous about the actual baby. Not the baby who will be here, cuddly, and grow into a person. I’m worried about all the stuff we have to get done and how I’m going to be as a pregnant carrier and…” I let my words trail off. I wanted to say I was worried about everything else.
“We’ll get it all done. Even if I have to do most of it myself. I’m sure we’ll have help but if not, we’ll make do. We make pretty good partners, you know, and not just in the bedroom, either.”
I let out a long, slow breath. He was right. Of course, he was right. I blinked hard to keep from crying. Daliah had gone through this too when Rosemary got pregnant. Mum wouldn’t be here to see the babies. Technically, Nelum was here. So Mum was here but Nelum wasn’t exactly Mum.
“I’d offer to lend you mine, but she is very defective,” Xav said, trying to lighten the mood.
I laughed despite the nerves twisting around inside me. The timer on my phone sounded off and I nearly knocked the little, disposable cup with the test in it off the counter. There they were. The little pixelated baby all wrapped up in a yellow blanket. Had they circled back around to the original color when I wasn’t looking? Probably. They must have, right?
“We’re gonna be parents,” I said.
Xav pulled me into a tight hug before I rambled about everything we had to get done before the baby arrived. I opened my mouth to say our first order of business was telling my dad to hurry up with the house but he spoke before I had the chance.
“Do you want to double check with a healer before we tell him?” Xav asked.
“Yes,” I nodded. “We should know for sure before we get their hopes up. I mean, I’m starving all the time and this test is positive. That’s probably enough. Hey, wait! Let me ask you a question.”
“What’s that?” he blinked at me.
“If I stripped from the waist up and laid out on a table for a stranger to touch my belly what would you do?”
“Is this a kink question?” Xav arched a brow.
“No. I guess we won’t know until it happens. It’s common lore that sires react badly to that situation if their mate is pregnant.”
“Well,” Xav thought about it for a long moment. “I don’t think I’d attack them because if we go to see a healer I’m fully expecting an ultrasound or sonic or whatever they use these days here. Since they’re a doctor – which I don’t understand really – unless you didn’t want to be touched, I’d probably let them do their job.”
“What don’t you understand about doctors?” I asked him.
“All of it. I mean, I’m just ice. I’ve been to doctors, obviously,” he rolled his eyes playfully. “But they still don’t fully understand how my genetics work. So, I guess, I don’t get them in that way.”
“I’m still lost,” I laughed.
“It’s hard to explain but how would you examine ice? How would you know if ice had high blood pressure? Are you questioning ice cubes? Are you doing peer reviewed studies on icebergs to know what their baseline pressures are? They don’t even have flesh forms.”
“No, they’re not, but I want to see a healer examine an iceberg now,” I laughed and pulled him in for a kiss. “I’m just glad the doctors were able to do what you needed them to.”
“Me too.”
“That’s why you trust them, huh?” I asked.
“Probably. That and those particular doctors smelled trustworthy. They were also excited for the opportunity to be the first to work with someone icy like me.”
“So they know about that?” I asked.
“Yeah. But those dragons over there are huge on privacy. They were more than a little understanding once I said I didn’t want it getting around because I didn’t want my family to track me down. I mean, I know there are other types of elementals but my mom knows my abilities and I really don’t want to deal with her. I don’t want her coming in and melting everything that makes me happy.”
“Is she fire?” I asked. “You don’t talk about her a lot.”
“Mostly,” he nodded. “Let’s change the subject, okay?”
“Sorry,” I frowned.
“No, don’t be,” Xav shook his head. “I get it. You want to know about me and where I come from. I’d love to show you the actual world but the people suck. At least the rulers do. So, what’s our next step? Where are we getting our healer from?”
“Since my pregnancy might reveal clues about who you are do you want to call over one of your doctor friends? I know, this is a totally different field of medicine, but…” I trailed off.
“I’ll find someone we can trust,” he said and kissed my temple.