12. Benji
Benji
“Come on, Estes!” Coach Henderson roars from the bench, echoed by a handful of my teammates. I exhale forcefully, sending sweat droplets flying from my upper lip before they drip into my mouth, and skate to where the ref is lining us up.
“Vafan g?r du?” Nilsson skates by, shooting me a disappointed look. I’ve played with him long enough to know most of his Swedish curses, and this one is nothing new: “What the fuck, dude?”
Nils has every right to be mad at me. He’d had full control of the puck, barreling down the boards, and I was the one who slipped up, darting into the offensive zone before him.
The off-sides whistle drew us back out of their zone, restarting the play and losing Nils all of his momentum. Truly, it was a rookie mistake.
My head is not with it today and unfortunately, I know exactly why. Grant and Jordie spent twenty minutes before the game discussing their upcoming dates with Andi and Lisa, which of course dragged the rest of the locker room into it.
“What is this? Are you – are you texting her?” Goody had grabbed the phone out of Grant’s hands, gaping in amazement down at it. “Who are you and what have you done with Sando?”
“Come on. There’s something…I don’t know. She’s witty. Strong-willed. Older, man. She knows what she wants.”
“Yeah, she wants that dick!” Berger crowed, shoving Grant from his other side. “For two whole minutes.”
Grant picked up his skate, shaking it at Berger before tugging it on his foot. “I swear to god, I’ll cut your dick off and feed it to Goody’s dog.”
“Hey! What did my dog ever do to you?”
“Give him a break,” Highcloud cut in. “Haven’t you ever met a girl and known your whole life is going to change?”
Goody snorted. “Yeah, every Friday night.”
Jodie tossed a glove across the locker room at Grant. “Hey. What’s the plan for tonight?”
Grant picked it up and tossed it back. “Pretty casual. Dinner at the All-Star, then off to the Barcade for some drinks and games.”
When I heard that, the dark feeling clouding me eased slightly. A sports bar, an arcade – that’s nothing serious. Just fun. I had to remind myself that she deserved some fun, even if I wouldn’t be there to witness it.
As if he’d heard my thoughts, Jordie turned to me and patted my leg. “We’ll probably end up back at the Wunderbar at some point, if you wanna meet us there for drinks.”
“Yeah.” I made an attempt to smile. Even if it was a pity offer, I’d probably take him up on it. “I’ll think about it.”
The ref blows the whistle, bringing me back to the present moment, and I square up. The puck drops and I win the face-off, tipping it back to Grant on defense. He lobs it over to Highcloud, who taps it up to Levi. Levi barrels into the O-zone, and I’m careful to enter after him.
We make a few valiant attempts to bury the puck in the net before someone on the other team eventually draws a penalty.
I sigh and peel off for the bench, signaling to start with our second power play line.
We’re tied, but mentally, I’m not there, and I know it’s affecting my game.
I can admit to myself that I’m not the man for the job right now.
But as for who will be taking Lisa out tonight? I can’t stop thinking about how strange it is, just how much I want to be that man.
Here I am, sitting like a fool, waiting for the conclusion of a date that I’m not a part of.
For the hundredth time, I wonder why I’m so hung up on this girl.
My apprehension turned into curiosity over the past two weeks, and now I’m forced to admit it’s becoming a protectiveness that I have no right to.
Hell, I don’t even know the girl’s real name, and clearly, she won’t give me the time of day to tell me. I shouldn’t even want to get close to someone this embedded in my life. It can only become messy and complicated, two things I really don’t need on my journey to the major league.
I’ve almost talked myself into returning back to the apartment when they stumble through the door, and I’m pulled back into my seat like it’s magnetic and my ass is metal.
My eyes are glued to Lisa as she enters.
She’s wearing black jeans and high tops – seriously, who wears high tops in the snow?
– and a long-sleeved gray henley, topped with a khaki green jacket.
Her silky, light brown hair is pulled back in a ponytail, and her makeup is minimal.
Despite her leisurely attire, it still looks stunning on her, as though she knows she can be comfortable and still knock men on their asses.
Judging by Jordie’s expression, it’s working.
He keeps sneaking glances at her, analyzing her expression, hunting for indications that she’s having a good time with him.
She’s either oblivious or intentionally keeping her attention elsewhere, deep in a conversation with Andi.
Grant notices me and waves, jerking his head for me to join them. I grunt and peel myself from the barstool, contemplating the ridiculousness of me being here on my own, simply for the fact that I wanted to see Lisa after her date with Jordie. Pathetic.
I pull a chair up to their table and slide into it. Grant beams at me, and I make my best attempt at a smile.
“Hey, man! How’s your night been?” he asks.
“Boring,” I respond, willing my voice to be casual.
I won’t offer up any information on what I’ve been doing unless they ask.
And even if they do, I won’t admit that I was sitting here pining over a girl on a date with my best bud.
“I bet you had more fun.” It’s the closest I’ll let myself get to pleading for information.
Luckily, Andi is more than happy to provide it. “It was great! I didn’t realize the All-Star had milkshakes, so Lisa and I split a strawberry one. It had literal pieces of strawberry in it. Ugh, I wanted to crawl inside it and live in it. One of the best I’ve ever had.”
Lisa hums her agreement, and I glance over at Grant, catching him grinning as he gazes at Andi, watching her excited storytelling. Oh, wow, the man’s in deep. I’m happy for him, though, especially after all he’s been through.
“And then when we got to the Barcade, they had this punching bag machine,” Andi continues, “and Lisa got the highest score by a long shot.”
Lisa and I lock eyes, and I flash her a teasing smile. She ducks her head, flushing, and I raise a brow. I find myself wondering if Jordie made her blush at all tonight. I’m basking in the sight of her rose-tinged cheeks, and I don’t want to have to share.
God damn it. Am I really getting this jealous over a girl I barely know?
“I told her that if I had my boxing gloves, I could’ve at least given her a run for her money.” Andi curls her fists in illustration, throwing a few air punches.
“I’d love to take up boxing on the side,” Jordie muses. “Maybe I should get a pair.”
“Funny, I was about to say the same thing about you,” Grant puts in, smirking. Andi laughs, tossing her hair over her head and leaning into him. He wraps his arm around her possessively and tugs her closer. Oh yeah, the lucky bastard is getting laid tonight.
“And then the girls talked our ears off about their Halloween event,” Jordie says, tossing Lisa an affectionate look before glancing back at me. “So I hope you don’t have any plans the night before Halloween.”
“Oh, yes! And we actually had something to ask you, Benji.” Andi swivels in her chair to give Lisa a pointed look. Lisa ducks her head again, picking at her napkin.
“Something to ask me?” I urge, resting my chin on my hand. Lisa glances up at me, and I give her a sly grin, causing her to flush again. I kind of feel like a piece of shit for how much I love it. “Pray tell.”
Lisa clears her throat. “Um, yeah, so…the gym kind of needs a popularity boost. And some people,” she glares at Grant, who simply gives her a gleeful smile in return, “think that enlisting the most popular player on the Lakewood Leopards would be a good social media boost. Or whatever.”
My grin widens. “Or whatever. So, you need my help?”
“No,” Lisa grumbles, just as Andi exclaims, “Yes!”
I reach my hand out. Lisa blinks, and I waggle my fingers in emphasis. “Here. Give me your phone, and I’ll put my number in. Give me a ring whenever you need me to sell my body for likes.”
Andi snickers and Lisa rolls her eyes, but obliges.
I create a contact and shoot a quick text to my own number – like hell I’ll admit I already have her number through Jim – and return her phone.
The conversation continues through the course of another round, and I watch the dynamic between Jordie and Lisa carefully.
He remains the unserious, fun Jordie I know.
It’s usually something I love about the guy, but at this moment, it makes him oblivious to the way Lisa tenses every time his body brushes against hers.
It’s subtle, but it’s there in the way her brows pinch and her shoulders hunch, as though she can escape within herself.
For reasons I’m not ready to admit even to myself, my jaw clenches each time she flinches, my body vibrating with the need to pull her away and reassure her she’s safe. As our beers near empty, Lisa taps her glass and straightens.
“I think I’m going to call it a night,” she announces, and turns to Andi. “Are you gonna stay a while?”
Andi and Grant exchange a look, a wordless conversation passing between them, and Andi turns back to Lisa, nodding. “I think I’m gonna stay for another round. Will you be okay getting home?”
Jordie stands up instantly, offering Lisa his hand. “I’ll take you home.”
I clench my jaw, swallowing down the strange feeling rising in my throat.
I remind myself that I should be happy she’s being escorted home safely.
I remind myself of that as I follow Grant to the bartop, sliding onto a stool next to him.
I keep reminding myself of that as I order another beer.
But even that can’t keep me from keeping my eyes locked on them as they exit the bar, hovering outside for a moment as Jordie helps Lisa get her jacket back on.
Even after she’s in her coat, Jordie is leaning over her, a slow smile across his face, making his intention crystal clear.
I’ve never paid attention to another man’s posture before outside of a game, but holy hell, I can see it now.
While he’s trying to make it come across as desirable, it’s borderline threatening.
The way she shrinks back from it ever so slightly speaks volumes. He leans in, and –
There’s a clatter as my chair goes flying from behind me. I barely register the fact that I’m now standing as Grant clears his throat. “Dude?”
I glance his way only momentarily. He’s gaping at me, his beer raised halfway to his mouth.
My eyes shoot back to Jordie and Lisa outside, but she’s turned her face, avoiding the impending kiss.
Jordie pauses, and I exhale slowly. He’s a great guy, I remind myself. One of the best. He won’t push it.
As if reading my mind, he leans back, offering Lisa a smile and his hand.
She takes it tentatively, and as they turn and walk away hand in hand, I slide back into my seat, the emotions roiling inside my settling slightly.
Finally, I’m able to turn back to the bartop.
I pick up my beer and sip slowly. I’m suddenly thankful Andi chose this moment to go to the restroom, but I can still feel Grant’s stare burning into the side of my head.
But what am I supposed to say? That Jordie shouldn’t be with her, because he doesn’t know her like I do? The truth of the matter is, I still barely know her at all. So, I say nothing.
“I can tell you think about her a lot,” Grant says eventually.
I run my hands through my hair and sigh, eyes still fixated on the spot where Jordie and Lisa walked away. “You have no idea, Grant,” I rasp. “It’s actually frustrating how much I think about her.”