Chapter 13
“I had fun shopping with you. I think the Secret Saint thing is going to be much better with you beside me,” Judd said as he and Terry put their groceries in the car and then put the cart in the cart return.
“I can definitely get into it. There are so many people who need to be helped and so many ways that my eyes have been opened since I started even thinking about it. I guess people just don’t think, you know?”
Judd nodded. And Terry’s heart swelled. There weren’t a lot of people who would look at Judd and think that he had a whole lot to teach someone like her, and she wasn’t thinking that arrogantly, it was just the truth. But he’d been instrumental in helping her see things that she never had before. Not to mention, he was a man of character and she loved him.
Christmas music blared out of the speakers into the parking lot, and the Christmas decorations along the pole lights at the end of the parking lot glittered in the daylight.
Judd opened her car door. “I don’t think it would be overstating things to say that you’re the best thing that ever happened to me.” He grinned, and she paused, and rather than sitting down in the car, she put her hand on his cheek and kissed the side of his lips.
“I could say the exact same thing.”
They smiled at each other, and then she said, “I was going to tell my family tomorrow? ”
“That’s fine with me. I know losing your sister-in-law was a big blow, and Gilbert is probably reeling right now.”
“I know. I just don’t want to wait too long. We’re not living together, exactly, but—”
“It doesn’t look the greatest, I agree. I don’t want it to look like something’s going on that isn’t. So let’s just make it official, and then we won’t have to worry about that.”
She nodded, knowing for a certainty that that was the right choice, and that other people might say that she was rushing into things, but she knew the kind of person Judd was, and she knew herself as well. Neither one of them were going to be looking for an escape hatch or taking the easy way out. They were in it for life, and with God’s blessing, they would make it work.
She reluctantly dropped her hands and sat down in the seat, while he closed the door behind her, walking around to the other side.
She waited until he had gotten in and started the car, and they were pulling out of the parking lot. “Do you mind dropping me off at my family’s house? It’s not that I don’t want to help you deliver these...”
“No. I know that things have been kind of unsettled there lately, and you feel pulled to help. As much as I want to spend all of my waking hours with you, and all of your off-duty hours, I understand.”
“All right. I appreciate that,” she said as he pulled out onto the highway, and they started toward her mother’s house.
She couldn’t believe the way her life had changed so crazily in just a month. But even harder things had happened to her family, and now that she was home, she wanted to be there for them.
They chatted a bit, until he got to her mother’s house and pulled in.
“You don’t have to get out unless you want to. It doesn’t look like there’s anyone here, but there’s a light on inside. ”
“You want me to wait?”
“No. You go on. I’ll text you if it turns out that someone just forgot to shut it off.”
“All right. I love you,” he said, and she leaned across her seat toward him and kissed him. Wishing she didn’t have to get out, didn’t have to leave, could sit here and just spend the entire day with him. But it wasn’t very often that a person actually got to do exactly what they wanted to. And that was probably for the best.
She pulled the latch and got out of the car.
Almost immediately, she could hear crying. No, it sounded like screaming. From a little child.
She waved as Judd drove away and saw his hand go up in return. Then, she turned toward the house and rushed up the walk. Whatever was going on inside, she was a part of this family, and she was going to help if she could.
Opening the door, she saw Amy standing in the dining room, hand on one hip, Jasper crying at her feet. She was in the process of kneeling down, probably to talk to Jasper. She ended up picking up Landon and pulling Jasper toward her.
Neither one of the boys had stopped crying, and it looked a little bit like Amy was going to start crying too.
Amy must have seen movement, because she certainly couldn’t have heard the door open over all of the wailing that was going on, but her head lifted up, and the relief that stole across her face was unmistakable.
“I am so happy to see you. Please tell me you’re here to stay, for at least, I don’t know, until he stops crying?” she said, her words a little bit funny, but her need for help obvious.
“I’m here. To stay. As long as you need me today. I want to talk to you anyway.”
“Perfect! Would you mind bringing the diaper bag over? Isadora said there were diapers in there, and I think this little guy needs to be changed. ”
They were talking loudly to be heard over the crying, but even though the children probably had good reason to cry, Terry knew they wouldn’t cry forever.
Eventually they would stop, even if nothing was done. But they could do their very best to try to help them. And of course they would.
She set the diaper bag down and scooped up Jasper.
“What are you doing, little guy? Didn’t you know Grandma wasn’t here? Where’s your mom?” She didn’t mention anything about his dad. She figured that Jasper was probably too little to understand that his dad had left, and maybe he didn’t even know.
Actually, Terry didn’t even know the latest. Why was Isadora here? Had she moved in? And where was she?
“I didn’t see Isadora’s car outside?”
“She’s not here. I think she’s at my house, and I’ll tell you all about it after we get these dudes quiet,” Amy said, laughing a little, but the serious sadness in her eyes made Terry feel like she was about to hear something that she definitely didn’t want to. Especially coming on the heels of Sally’s death the night before.
She had been so happy that Judd had been there with her. That was the kind of thing that a person didn’t want to have to face alone, and Judd had made it so that she had someone to lean on, someone to draw strength from. She was sure that was what the Lord intended when He had decided it would be good for a man and woman to pair up. Their strengths complemented each other and overshadowed their weaknesses.
A human was also just programmed to grieve with someone, she thought.
She worked with Amy to change the boys, to feed Jasper some of the food that was in the refrigerator. There was baby food in the diaper bag for Landon, and then they were able to put them both down to sleep. Their mom had a room that the boys shared when they stayed over, or when any grandchildren did, with two single beds and two cribs.
It didn’t leave much room for anything else in the room, but there was plenty of room for grandkids to take naps or spend the night.
Terry knew that not everyone was as blessed as they were to have a fantastic mother who enjoyed having her grandkids as much as she could. And whose life pretty much revolved around them.
They finally got Jasper to sleep, and they stood side by side, looking at Jasper, his little hand tucked up underneath his chin, his eyes closed and relaxed. And Landon, who lay on his back, his arms thrown out, his mouth open, snoring softly.
She couldn’t help giving a tender smile at the innocence of the little boys.
And then her stomach tied in knots as she thought about the life that was ahead of them, and they had no idea. Likely being shuffled from home to home and never having a solid, stable environment in which to live. Where Mom and Dad fought, and Dad had girlfriends using a revolving door.
She closed her eyes and prayed that that wouldn’t be their fate.
“I think they’re good,” Amy said, tugging on her arm.
She opened her eyes and followed her sister out the door.
Amy closed the door softly, and they went into the kitchen, with Amy putting coffee on, and Terry grabbing creamer and sugar and putting it on the bar.
“Would you rather sit at the dining room table?” she said as she set the stuff down on the counter.
“No. This is just as comfortable to me, unless you do.”
“No. But I’m dying of curiosity as to what’s happening with Isadora.”
“I guess Clyde came back yesterday, and they decided they were going to work it out and she forgave him and it was a big thing, and then he must have been talking to his girlfriend overnight, because this morning, she woke up to him packing a suitcase and telling her he was gone for good.” Amy sighed, a sound that came from her very soul. And it made Terry’s heart ache in a way that she didn’t realize was possible.
“He is such a jerk.”
“That’s what I said.”
They were both quiet for a bit, remembering how their mother had tried to talk Isadora out of being with him, how she begged and pleaded, and how Isadora had said their mother was being terrible and mean and was just standing in her way and didn’t know what she was talking about, and even when Isadora admitted that her mother was probably right, that she shouldn’t have anything to do with an unsaved man, she admitted that she was emotionally involved and just couldn’t pry herself away.
It had been terrible to see, and even though Terry and Amy both had tried to talk to Isadora, she was determined that she didn’t want to hurt Clyde, and break up with him, and cause him any pain. That she was the one who had instigated the relationship, and with a dramatic flourish, she insisted that she couldn’t hurt him now.
And so, it had hurt her later, along with their three children, the two that were here and the one that wasn’t born yet.
“I bet she wishes she could go back and do things a little differently,” Terry said, although she would never say that to Isadora. What was done was done.
“I thought the same thing over and over. She’s made her bed, and I suppose like the saying goes, now she gets to lie in it. It’s unfortunate that this is what it takes, because now the pain isn’t just Clyde, it’s Landon and Jasper and the baby that’s not even born. She won’t even know her dad.”
“Is it a girl?”
“I’m pretty sure that’s what I heard. But it’s been such an eventful fall. ”
They were quiet for a bit, until the coffee was ready, so Terry poured them each a cup and then set them down on the counter before walking around and sitting on her stool.
“Isadora could be the poster child for teens not listening to their parents and living to regret it.”
“I’m not even sure she was a teen. I’m pretty sure she was twenty-one or twenty-two. Old enough to know better,” Amy said sadly.
“Yeah. I’ve forgotten, but you’re right. Mom trusted her, and instead of doing right, she just... I think she just added him on social media or something to begin with.”
“Yeah. I remember telling her that I didn’t think it was a very good idea for her to be chatting with an unsaved man, and she assured me that she had it all under control, and everything would be fine, and then in the next breath, she told me not to tell Mom.”
“Isn’t that the way it goes? When you’re doing wrong, you hide it. Nothing has changed since the Garden of Eden, when Adam and Eve sinned, and then they hid from God. Humans are so dumb.”
They laughed together, and then each of them stared into their coffee cups.
“So Isadora went to your house?”
“I think so. I told her she could. It’s never locked, and she just wanted someplace where she could curl up and I think just deal with the pain, you know? Like when you get hurt really bad, you just need a minute to sit there and kind of let the pain die down to some kind of throb that you can stand before you start taking care of things.”
“Yeah. I totally get what you’re saying,” Terry said, shrugging, because there really wasn’t anything they could do to help the pain that Isadora was feeling, although both of them wished they could.
Eventually, Terry, her finger running over the handle of her coffee mug, said, “I actually wanted to talk to you about... Well, I know this isn’t the best timing, but I wanted some advice.”
“All right,” Amy said .
“Judd and I are...together.”
“No way!” Amy said, jumping out of her seat and throwing her arms around Terry. “That is awesome. You would not believe the big conspiracy that the entire town has been in to try to get you two together.”
“Conspiracy?” Terry said, her brows drawing down.
“I’ll have to tell you later, but I’m just so excited for you.” She paused. “With Gilbert losing his wife and Isadora leaving her husband, it’s great that you guys have some great news.”
“Yeah, I just didn’t know whether we should tell everyone or not? I mean, should we wait?”
“Well, maybe my news will help you decide,” Amy said slowly.
Terry’s heart skipped a beat.
“Good news or bad news?” she asked, holding her breath while she waited for the answer. She wasn’t sure she could take any more bad news.
“Good news, I’m pretty sure,” Amy said, unable to contain her smile. “Okay, but I have to start at the beginning. Do you have time?”
“I do. Judd is making some deliveries and doing some other things, and I have as much time as I need.”
“Right. So, goodness, it feels like a year ago, but just last month, Jones’s aunt passed away. It was the one who wasn’t talking to his parents. They got into a big fight back when Jones was around ten.”
“I remember a little bit about that. Wasn’t she wealthy?”
“She was. Very wealthy, and she left ten million dollars to Jones.”
“You are kidding,” Terry said. “Unbelievable.” It was her turn to smile and put her hand on her sister’s forearm. “That is so great for Jones. I know he really wants to get his vet school bills paid off, and that will more than do it.”
“Right? Except, there’s a catch,” Amy said, looking a little unsure and giving her a sideways glance .
“And the catch is?” Hopefully it wasn’t that he had to kill somebody or something. That would be straight out of a horror movie.
“The catch is that he has to be married.”
“Oh my goodness. Well, you’re the obvious choice.”
Amy looked like she’d just had all the wind taken out of her sails. “Well then, you just jumped to the next thing I was going to tell you because we couldn’t think of anyone. No one was good enough, and that’s what everyone kept saying, that I was the obvious choice, and we had never really considered that, except now that we have, we decided...we’re really getting married,” Amy said, lifting up her hand like what do you do .
“Oh my goodness! Congratulations! That is awesome!” Terry was super thrilled, and it was even better because Amy was getting married at the same time she was. She couldn’t help but think God had worked it out with such perfect timing.
“And so that brings me to my problem,” Amy said, and Terry sobered right away. She’d forgotten there even was a problem.
“Yeah. So, the catch was he had to be married, and he had to do it within a month of her death. That’s...Friday. We have to be married by Friday in order for him to get the ten million dollars. We decided that we wanted to get married whether we get the money or not. But if there’s no money, we might take it slower? You know, we haven’t really thought about being boyfriend and girlfriend and more, and so I think it would take us a little bit of time to get used to that, but we can hurry it up for the money. Except...”
“Sure, except, Sally passing away, the three kids don’t have a mom, being so close to Christmas, now Isadora having her husband walk out, and yeah.”
“Plus you. I don’t want to steal your thunder. I don’t want to step in and keep you from getting the attention you deserve with your engagement with Judd. I mean, this is only going to happen once in your lifetime. You want to make it special. ”
“Right? I do want it to be special, but I’m not worried about you stealing my thunder. I don’t need any thunder,” she said, trying to be emphatic about it. She didn’t want her sister to not have money, not be able to do what she needed to do, just because she was concerned about Terry.
“Make me the least of your worries, okay?” she said easily. “This is not something that you even need to give two thoughts about. We can have a double wedding if you want, although I don’t know what kind of wedding you’re thinking about. And I don’t know how Judd feels about that. I think we just wanted something small, something with just the family,” she said.
“Same for us, although I’m guessing that we’ll invite Jones’s parents. They probably won’t come, although they might? I don’t know. They went to his graduation. Both college and vet school, and high school, so maybe weddings and graduations are things they attend.”
Amy didn’t have to say anything more. Terry had been there; she’d seen how disinterested Jones’s parents had been. It was similar to Judd’s parents, except Judd’s parents had money. And they still weren’t interested in their son.
“What is it with parents not really caring about their children? I don’t understand that?”
“Me either, but our society isn’t very supportive, either of children or parents having great bonds. Like it seems like it’s always trying to rip the children away from the parents, send them to school, make school days longer, make school years longer, keep them there longer, get them into sports and other activities that take them away from their parents, send them to summer camps, and like you just don’t see families doing things together like they used to. And then of course, both parents have to have jobs, especially moms, and she’s not there to be the glue that keeps the family together, you know? ”
“So just a lot of factors that seem to come together to make it so that what used to be something that was a no-brainer becomes...something that is almost nonexistent, a nuclear family that stays together for a lifetime.”
“Yeah. Used to be that they had a farm, and the kids grew up and worked on the farm. It doesn’t even happen that way anymore.”
“So sad.”
Their voices trailed off, but then Terry didn’t want them to sit around and be sad about stuff they couldn’t do anything about. “So there are as many good things going on as there are bad things! I wonder if it would be too terrible to try to focus on the good?”
“Good for you and me, but I don’t want to not be respectful of Gilbert’s grief or Isadora’s pain, and I want to be cognizant that their children are suffering.”
“That’s so true,” Terry said, knowing Amy was right. As much as she was a solid, focus on the positive kind of person, she didn’t want to just ramrod over other people’s trials and tribulations.
“So I don’t know what to do. I mean you don’t have a choice. You have to get married.”
“That’s just it, we don’t. I mean, we can, and we’ll get ten million dollars if we do, but is the ten million dollars worth being tone deaf to the pain of my family? And there is a funeral on Friday, do we want to have a wedding on Thursday?”
“What day did you have to be married by?”
“Friday.”
“Have you looked it up and are one-hundred-percent sure?”
“It’s been busy since then. Jones got called out, we’ve been helping with the children, and today is just as busy as every other day. We just found out Friday. Oh goodness, that was yesterday.”
“Well.”
“I know. A lot has happened. And I know it’s been kind of fast, but Jones and I have been friends forever— ”
“You don’t have to explain to me. Judd and I haven’t been together very long at all, and we haven’t been good friends, we just...bonded quickly, I think. And I was able to see him in a light that I never have before. He’s...everything I’ve ever wanted in a man.”
“I’m so happy to hear it. And I’m thrilled I don’t have to apologize to you or make excuses. You understand, and that’s a relief. Because I did wonder what our small town is going to say if Jones and I get married that fast.”
“They’re going to think you’re pregnant,” Terry said, and they both laughed.
“And they’re going to think you’re pregnant too,” Amy said, which caused them to laugh again.
It wasn’t funny, but they weren’t laughing at the sin, they were laughing at the idea that that seemed to be where everyone’s minds went if someone didn’t plan their wedding and make it into a big show. The idea that people wouldn’t want that was almost inconceivable.
“What do you think about having it together?” Terry asked finally.
“I’d love to, and I think Jones would be fine with that if Judd is okay with it and you guys both are okay with his parents coming. Also, we’re going to have trouble trying to figure out a time.”
“We need to get our license. And figure out what the rules are for Virginia.”
“You have to fill out an application and get a license, but once you have a license, you have sixty days to use it, and you can use it any time, even immediately.”
“There is no waiting period?”
“No. None.”
Terry figured that this was probably something she should talk to Judd about face-to-face, but she pulled out her phone. “I’m going to send a text and see what he says. ”
“All right. I can text Jones as well, but he’s got three kids with him, and I might not hear anything for a while.”
“That’s fine. It’s not an emergency that we do it quickly, and we have all day tomorrow to think about it as well.”
“I figured that I would announce it to the family tomorrow at lunch. You might hear that story again, but waiting until we’re all together will keep me from having to tell it a million times. I just didn’t want to be insensitive to Gilbert and now Isadora.”
“Isadora might not even be joining us for lunch. I saw some of my friends deal with heartbreak while I was in school, and it’s not a pain that goes away quickly. It takes a long time, sometimes years until you truly don’t feel anything, and even then, sometimes the bitterness and anger linger.”
“Yeah. People don’t understand how important it is to pick the right person to begin with.”
“Not only that, but do you think there are more people who are cheating now than there used to be?”
“I don’t know. It seems like it’s something that people have always struggled with. Maybe there might be more women now than there used to be,” Amy said softly, as though she were thinking about it.
Terry had wondered if their generation was just sinking deeper into sin, or if it was truly something that had always been a problem.
“I just feel like there’s really no oversight anymore. Used to be, people were in the church, and if someone did something wrong, you had everyone looking at them going hey, don’t do that wrong. But now, there isn’t anyone telling them that it’s wrong anymore. You know? We’re all just kind of like la de da, we just don’t care what you do, la de da.” She knew she sounded ridiculous, but she couldn’t overstate how blasé people were toward sin. And she felt like no one was holding anyone to account, and so anyone could get away with whatever they wanted to.
“You know, that’s a good point. We’re all about loving people and making them feel welcome and not offending them, but if they were afraid of being a social outcast, they would probably be more careful about what they did.”
“I know. Our society talks about breaking down walls and crashing through old beliefs, but those walls and those old beliefs were the things that kept us safe from sin a lot of times. We knew what the consequences would be. Not just the consequences that we’ll experience when God judges our sin, but the consequences of having the whole world know our sin. We’d be embarrassed, perhaps lose our jobs, be put out of society, and live a life of struggle. It was that fear that helped a lot of people decide to do right.”
“But I wonder if it’s better if we decide to do right on our own? Without all of those social constraints. No one’s going to excommunicate you from the church if you have an affair. No one’s going to fire you if you’re cheating on your husband. Even if the whole office knows it. It’s just an acceptance attitude, something everybody knows. And so, if you know that there aren’t going to be any social or societal repercussions, and you choose to do right anyway, doesn’t that show a deeper, firmer commitment to the Lord and a higher amount of character?”
“I think you’re right. But a lot of people don’t have that kind of character. And I don’t know what to do about it.”
“Maybe it’s taught when we’re kids, or maybe it’s the attitude of a conservative society as a whole, but trying to recreate it is kind of like trying to put the cat back in the bag. It just doesn’t happen.”
“No. I think you’re right. But I do also think it points to the decline of our society. When there are no longer social norms to keep people’s unbridled passions in check and they feel like they can do whatever they want to, that’s when society starts to crumble. ”
“Because the family isn’t stable, and that’s the building block of a strong, productive society. It’s been ripped apart, redefined, and that’s where it starts. No moms in the home, marriages breaking up, and children being raised in an environment of instability and chaos, and we’re being told that that’s normal.”
They were both quiet, and maybe Amy was thinking it too, but Terry was thinking about how blessed they were to have a mom and a dad who stayed together, a mom who had planned and struggled to create a haven for her children, to raise them in a home where there was love and support and stability.
It wasn’t a childhood that anyone was guaranteed to have, and they had been blessed.
“Wow. We’ve been all over the map. Grief, breakups, surprise marriages, million-dollar inheritances, now we’re solving the world’s problems. This has been quite a conversation.” Terry laughed and finished off the rest of her coffee.
“We haven’t talked in a long time. That’s probably it. Although, now that you’re back, I really hope that we see you a lot more.”
“I hope you do too.”
Terry got up and took their cups to the sink, rinsing them out and putting them in the dishwasher.
As she did that, her phone buzzed.
I’m fine with a double wedding. Monday, Tuesday, any day. I just want to marry you.
She read Judd’s text message and smiled. “This is from Judd. He’s fine getting married together, and he’s fine whenever we schedule it.”
“All right. I still haven’t heard back from Jones, but I know that he’s got his hands full with visiting and taking care of the kids. Even though they were really good help today. ”
“It smells like cookies in here. Is this where you made them?”
“Yep. Thankfully, Lucas was a huge help, and of course Jones was up to his elbows in everything, and I was able to get the mess cleaned up before they even left. You should have seen them, the cookies look so cute and Christmasy. They decorated most of them themselves.”
“I’m glad that you were able to do something with them to try to get their mind off of losing their mom. I think a lot of times when something like this happens, families kind of sit around and just do nothing, waiting for the funeral or something. I don’t know.”
“We might do that later, when Mom and Gilbert get back. Although, the kids have riding therapy at two. So, hopefully there won’t be much moping. But I do think it’s good for them to hear different ways of coping, so they can find something that they can tell themselves.”
“Yeah. To shape the way they think, and to frame it in a way that helps them get through it.”
“Exactly. So maybe that’s the point of everyone sitting around, because it does feel like a lot of times that’s what happens. People just kind of congregate and hang out.”
Terry walked back from the sink. “I know that Jones has to go to his clinic on Monday, and I have to go to mine, so Monday is probably going to be the day where you are going to need to be here as much as you can. If you need me to take over anything today or tomorrow, I can,” she said, putting her hand over the top of Amy’s.
“Let’s see what happens when Mom and Gilbert get back. We can take it from there.”