Chapter 16
SERIOUS PREPARATION AND MEDITATION
Alex
My entire body feels like a flaming inferno dangling over the edge of a cliff.
I haven’t felt this tightly wound and ready to burst since I was a kid figuring out what my dick was good for for the very first time.
Stars dance in my vision. Fireworks and glitter bombs are lit in my stomach, the flames traveling down the fuse and ready to ignite.
My cock feels like it's going to combust. I teeter there, breathless and holding on to the edge of oblivion for as long as I can because it feels so good. I don’t ever want it to end, but when I feel that intrusion behind my balls and everything inside me pulls impossibly tighter, I can’t hang on to the cliffside any longer.
“Stop. Fuck, Elliot. Please stop.”
His mouth and hands are gone and I immediately miss the warm, wet feel of him. My eyes snap open, my stomach flipping from the sudden loss of pleasure. Elliot is on his knees, hands in the air like I’ve caught him stealing, a painful look on his gorgeous face.
“I’m sorry, Goat. I’m so sorry. You hate this, and I pushed. I went too far, and I—”
“No! Elliot, no,” I cry out, shuffling until I’m on my knees in front of him too.
It's an awkward untangling of limbs and bobbing erections, but I want—no—I need to look him in the eye for this. I grab him softly by the cheeks and bring his nose to mine. “You didn’t do anything wrong. You didn’t push me, and I didn’t hate anything.
I was so fucking close to losing it, I think my cum backed all the way up and started leaking out of my nose. That was so good, babe. So, so good.”
I punctuate my reassurance with soft pecks against his lips, one after another until I’m moaning again, coaxing his mouth open with my tongue, begging him for more.
“Why’d you stop me then?” he mumbles between licks and kisses, hands coming down to squeeze my ass cheeks.
“Because I don’t want to do this halfway.
I don’t want you to suck me off and that’s that.
I don’t want just an orgasm, or just mutual orgasms where you make me come and then finish yourself off.
I want to touch you. I want to feel you.
I want to bring you over the edge with me.
This isn’t just about letting some guy get me off to satiate my curiosity, El. I want you and me together.”
It's vulnerable, letting those truths pass my lips. Even more vulnerable than kneeling on my bed, buck naked and cock leaking from this man’s touch.
But it is the truth. I can hide behind the superstition, the curiosity, the hope of it all when we’re clothed.
I can pretend like this arrangement is enough for me and that I won’t be crushed when it comes to an end.
But like this, when its just me and Elliot, I need to be real. My heart doesn’t know any other way.
Elliot sighs, dropping his mouth to my shoulder, where he nips and sucks at my skin.
“You wanna come together, sweetheart?”
“So badly, El. So, so badly.”
He stands and makes quick work of kicking off the pants that have pooled around his ankles before rejoining me on the bed and capturing my mouth in a hot, claiming kiss.
“You want to make me feel good? Turn around, baby. And tell me where you keep your lube.”
A nervous shudder runs through me at his demanding tone.
I’m more than ready to try some back door play.
Just the hint of his finger at my hole had me ready to blow, so I can’t imagine I won’t be into it.
But still, the first time a man has his ass played with is bound to be a nerve wracking experience, right?
None of that matters, though. I want this.
I want what Elliot wants, and I want to be good for him.
I want him to feel even half as good as he’s made me feel just by existing.
So I turn, crawling on my hands and knees across my bed to retrieve the small bottle of lube I keep in my nightstand, right next to the condoms and the bullet vibrator I use sometimes to tease my balls.
I hand it back to Elliot, staying on all fours while he flicks the cap.
I hear the sloshing, liquid sound of him lubing himself up, and everything in me clenches.
I guess we’re just…getting right into this.
When his arm comes down and wraps around my torso, the furry hair on his chest tickling my bare back, I suck in a deep breath.
I brace myself for impact, but Elliot doesn’t spear me with his dick.
He pulls me up until I’m off my hands and on my just my knees, our bodies flush together.
His cock is pressed against my ass cheek, but he makes no movement to get it closer to my hole.
“You’re clenching, Alex. Take a breath, baby. Did you think I was going to shove my cock in you, just like that?” he murmurs against my ear, licking and nibbling the lobe while thumbing my nipple into a hard peak.
“Uh, kind of? Aren’t you?” I breathe, and he chuckles.
“No, baby. I’d never just fuck your ass without your consent and a fuck ton of prep. That’s not something you ever have to do if you don’t want to. Go ahead and relax for me.”
I sag with a sigh of relief, because…yeah.
I definitely think having my ass played with is something I could be into.
A little finger action sounds like fun. Maybe even a nice tonguing.
But taking the monster hanging between Elliot’s legs?
That’s going to take some serious preparation and meditation.
“I would, however, very much like to stroke your cock while I fuck your hot, thick thighs. If that sounds like something you might want?”
Jesus. I didn’t even know that was an option, and now I want it more than I’ve ever wanted anything.
“God, fuck, yes. Do it, please. I need you so bad, El.”
Elliot’s dark chuckle tells me that I sound just as desperate and pathetic to him as I do to myself, but I don’t care.
I want to come so badly, I can barely see straight.
And even more so, I want to make Elliot come.
I want him to use me–use my body. I might not be completely sure about what thigh-fucking is or how it works, but I’m so goddamn eager to please him.
He takes my jaw in his hand, angling my face towards his so he can capture my lips in another searing kiss. He urges me to scoot forward until I’m able to hang on to the headboard. I feel the nudging head of his cock between my legs, followed by the chilling dribble of more lube.
“Teach me, Elliot. Teach me how to be good for you. Teach me how to make you come,” I whimper, and he mutters a curse behind me, nipping at my neck as he does.
“Squeeze your legs together, baby,” he whispers near my ear. I do as he says, and then he’s thrusting forward, pushing his slicked up cock between my thighs while pulling me impossibly closer against his chest.
“So perfect, Alex. You feel so good like this.”
“You too,” I breathe, because he does. He isn’t touching my dick, but the slide of him, his breath on my neck, the way his hips slap against my ass as he increases the pace of his thrusts is dizzying.
“I always want you, El. All the time. I think about you when I wake up and before I go to sleep. I want to be so good for you, always.”
“Fuck,” he grunts out. “I wanted to make this last, but you’re driving me crazy.”
And I love that, knowing that I drive him as wild as he does me, even if it's only in bed. I arch my back, slamming back against him with each of his thrusts, using my legs to milk him for all that he’s worth.
At this point, I don’t care if he ever touches me.
The sound of him moaning in my ear and the feel of his hips against my ass might just be enough to satisfy me.
But then Elliot reaches around, gripping my cock in his tight, slicked-up fist, and the whine that leaves my mouth is nearly inhuman.
His hand glides up and down my shaft in jerky motions while the head of his dick brushes my balls in time with each of his strokes.
I’m right back there on the edge, dangling over oblivion, performing the balancing act of my life while I melt into the mindblowing pleasure and do my damndest not to break apart.
“Come, Alex. Let me see you come all over my hand.”
I couldn’t fight him on it if I tried. The string winding me tight finally snaps, sending me head first into the wave of my orgasm.
I bite down on my bottom lip, hard enough to draw blood as rope after rope of hot, sticky cum erupts from my cock and all over my bed in what feels like a never ending volcano of pleasure.
Elliot’s grip on me never loosens as he coaxes me through it, holding me close and murmuring sweet nothings I can barely hear over the sound of my own pleading.
Elliot’s hips press against my ass, his body jerking against mine while warmth coats my inner thighs.
He moans through his orgasm, loud and shameless.
I feel his cum everywhere—on my cock, my balls, dripping between my legs, and the sensation of it is enough to have my dick twitching even as it softens in his palm.
The only sound in the room is our heavy breaths and the rhythmic beating of our hearts, and I don’t ever want to leave this moment.
Emotion swells in my chest, burning my eyes as the weight of what we’ve just done settles over me.
I feel too much and I don’t have the right words to capture the gravity of the moment, because the only words I can conjure in the pleasure-soaked depths of my mind would send Elliot running for the hills.
Because he ruined me. With a few kisses and flirtations and an orgasm that made my brain melt out of my ears, Elliot Raine Baker has thoroughly wrecked me, and I know for a fact I won’t survive him.
Logic, timing, and reason all be damned, I’m falling in love with the man still holding on to my chest like I’m his own personal life line.
Fucking hell, I’m falling in love with him, and I can’t keep him.
“I made a mess of you, Alex,” Elliot says, his lips pressed against the crook of my neck as he seems to squeeze me even tighter.
You have no idea what a mess you’ve made.
“I loved it,” I admit on a low exhale. Because it's the truth, and even though I’m not only talking about the mess he made between my legs, I want him to hear it.
And because I want to remind myself that when this is all said and done, maybe the exquisite pain will all have been worth it for this moment.
Elliot unfurls himself from around me and we migrate to the bathroom, where he turns on the shower and tests the temperature of the water before leading me by the hand under the spray.
I fiddle with the faucet until the second showerhead kicks on so that we can both be cocooned by hot water on all sides.
“Tell me what you liked,” he says as he grabs a bottle of soap and squeezes a dollop into his palm.
I think I’m about to watch him wash himself, and I think I’m really going to like the view.
But then he starts to work the lather into my shoulders, massaging me as he cleans my skin, and I groan, melting into him.
This is so much better.
“All of it,” I murmur, letting my eyes blink closed as he works the soap over my pecs.
“Be specific, Goat. I want to know everything so I can make it good for you every time.”
I hum, leaning into his chest and letting myself succumb to the simple pleasure of his soapy hands on my skin, but a gentle pinch of my nipple snaps me out of it.
“I mean, besides the obvious part where I liked your mouth and your hand on my cock, I liked the way you felt wrapped around me. I’ve never had that before.
You made me feel…taken care of. I loved the way you held me against you and kept control of both of us.
I liked that it was my body that made you feel good.
And I liked the way you moved against me.
I want more of that. So, so much more of that. ”
“I liked holding on to you, too. You fit me so perfectly.” He pulls me against his chest, where I bury my face against the shower-soaked matte of hair that covers him here.
Even through the water, I can smell him like this.
That unique blend of salt and skin and Elliot that I want to get high off like a drug.
“We fit each other perfectly,” I whisper, my voice muffled by the way I’m nuzzled against his skin.
After our shower, we break out the sushi Elliot brought over and eat it while snuggling on the couch while my favorite trashy reality show plays quietly on the TV. I couldn’t have dreamt up a more perfect evening if I tried.
It isn’t until I wake up in the middle of the night, Elliot underneath me like a human mattress with his leg hoisted around my hip and holding on to me like I’m his personal body pillow that I remember…
I don’t have a game to play tomorrow.
It probably doesn’t mean anything, but the thought that this could be more than the superstition hook up I suggested has me sleeping like a baby for the rest of the night.