Chapter Six
Buck
I like to think I’m a stable guy. The kind of dude that lets most things roll off my back without much thought, but the fact that Opal has been here alone, struggling with her thoughts all year has me angry as hell that I didn’t come back sooner. So angry, that I’m tempted to find the asshole that hurt her and make him pay. Lord knows what the paparazzi would do with that.
Climbing down out of the truck, I head toward Sawyer’s cabin, trying to dissociate from the myriad of emotions coursing through me. Of course there’s the hatred for Opal’s ex, but there’s also the wrenching ache of knowing I need my hands all over my sweet, little Opal. I need to stop thinking about it, but the thought of sinking inside of her tight, little core has my entire body at a state of desperation.
What the hell is wrong with me?
Sawyer’s cabin is a one bedroom set on the base of the west side of the mountain, just outside of town. If I were buying up here, I’d like a spot just like this one. Not too far from town, but still plenty of privacy and a view of the mountains. I’m thankful he didn’t mind me stopping over. I haven’t gotten close to a lot of people in town, and I could really use a beer and some straight talk.
He answers the door straight away, holding a beer, as though he knows tonight couldn’t have gone well given I’m at his doorstep instead of Opal’s.
“This place is crazy awesome, man. Is that a secret room?” I tug back a sip of an IPA and stare toward a bookshelf in the back of the house that has a seam down the side. I wouldn’t have noticed had I not had one in my house in Tennessee.
He pulls open the bookshelf grinning with pride. “You like that? My buddies and I play poker a few nights a week. If you’re in town much longer, you should stop by. We talk a lot of shit, but we bet low.”
“Wish I was staying. A night of poker and nonsense sounds great.” I hang my head and wonder if I’m looking as emotionally heavy as he is. “After tonight, I think it’s best if I get back on the road where I belong.”
Sawyer closes the bookshelf door and settles in the leather chair opposite me. “What’s wrong, man? Things go bad with Opal today?”
I drag in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “The fucking paparazzi got in the way, and she was already struggling to open up. I don’t fucking know. I’m… I suck at figuring emotions out. I want to help her, I want to be with her, but I can’t convince her to trust me.”
“Damn,” he sighs, “that’s heavy shit. What’s the plan?”
“Not sure there is one. She’s convinced herself that love doesn’t exist, that I’ll leave.”
“So, show her you won’t.” He says the words matter of fact as though it’s that easy.
“Yeah? And how do I do that? She’s pretty convinced.”
He leans onto his knees and lifts his stare toward me. “You don’t leave.”
I can’t help but laugh at the simplicity of his advice. “Well, can’t argue with that, can I? With all this good advice, how’d you end up so bummed tonight?”
He laughs and hangs his head. “Well, someone posted a picture of Evie trying on wedding dresses. I don’t even go online these days, but I went searching for that like some fucking masochist. It’s surreal to see her in a white gown all dressed up for someone else. I know her better than anyone. She’s not happy.”
I try my hand at a bit of his straightforward advice. “So why don’t you make her happy?”
Sawyer laughs and stands from the chair. “Now you sound like me. I want to make her happy. She’s the one person I know better than anyone. Not because I know all the facts about her life, like her favorite color, but because my soul understands hers. It’s such a fucking mind fuck.” He rolls his shoulders back. “Anyway, I sound like a fucking idiot going on about souls and emotions.” He groans and goes to pacing. “She’s mine, she’s been mine for years, but also… she’s not, you know? How do I live like that?” He shakes his head and twists his cap back. “Sorry, man. I’m spinning out tonight.”
“I get it. I just left one that’s not mine, but she is.” I scrub my hand over my face and lean forward, resting my elbows on my knees. I can’t do what Sawyer is doing. I can’t live like he’s living. I can’t lust after Opal for years then watch her marry another man. I can’t watch her live the life we’re supposed to be living with someone else.
“You gotta go after her, man,” Sawyer says, taking a sip of his beer. “Sit on her porch all night if you have to. Better now than when she’s got a fiancé at home.”
I know where I need to be, but I’m not sure I can leave Sawyer on the line right now. “What happened with you and Evie, anyway? Not sure I ever heard the story.”
He raises his brows and groans. “Short story? I fell in love with her when I shouldn’t have, and there was a lot of pressure on her to live her life for others.”
That’s about as vague as the word ‘soon.’ “You still have kidnapping?”
He laughs and scrubs his hand down over his salt and pepper beard. “I was planning it right before you showed up, actually.”
I’m pretty sure he’s joking… I think.
“Either way, man, you’ve gotta go back out there tonight. You’ve gotta sit on her porch and wait for her to open the door. Sing her songs, talk until your throat bleeds, do whatever it takes. You’re lucky there’s no one else in the picture.”
I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a man as raw as I’m seeing Sawyer right now. “You sure you don’t want me to call someone to hang out here tonight? You—”
“No.” His tone is deep and sure as he says, “This’ll pass. I just have to work through it, ya know?”
I nod and stand from the chair, making my way toward the door. One quick stop at the cabin for my guitar, and I’m taking the girl I came out here for.