NINETEEN
HAYLEY FELT THE HOURS PASSING BY faster with each day as the wedding and Maddie’s departure drew closer.
Two days had passed since Maddie surprised her after work in that goddamn lingerie—since Hayley had given up everything she’d ever known.
She had never surrendered so much of herself to anyone before.
She’d never even wanted to. But that night, everything had suddenly changed, and she let herself fall straight into the heat coursing through her body.
The memory of it clung to her skin, warm yet unsettling, making the days ahead feel even harder to face.
She sat at her desk at the office in a daze, daydreaming about what they’d shared. Maddie had accomplished something no other woman ever had before, and Hayley had welcomed it. She pictured Maddie’s face as she’d tied Hayley to the bedposts.
Fuck, that was hot.
Hayley’s body trembled now as she relived the moment for the hundredth time. She squeezed her legs together, crossing them tightly.
Focus, Maddox, she scolded herself.
The wedding was only three weeks away now.
Hayley knew she should be thrilled. Gemma was finally marrying the love of her life, and all the marital hoopla would soon be over.
Instead, anxiety coiled tight inside her.
Time was quickly running out before Maddie boarded a plane and was on her way back to her life in LA.
Hayley stared at her computer screen, blank and unblinking, as she tried to figure out how to get her life back under control.
Sarah bounced into her office, holding a box of cupcakes in one hand and a bundle of balloons in the other. “Happy birthday, boss!” her assistant cheered.
Hayley groaned. She looked at her watch, then sighed when she realized that Gemma would be at her place in under an hour.
“Thanks, Sarah,” she offered quickly, and grabbed a cupcake as she rushed out the door.
——
By the time Hayley made it back to her apartment, Gemma was already waiting for her inside.
“I can’t believe we’ve celebrated thirteen birthdays together.” Gemma sat cross-legged on Hayley’s bed, sorting through the pile of clothes beside her. “Thirty-two years old. Damn,” she teased.
“Don’t remind me.” Hayley huffed with a laugh. Gemma was only eight months younger than her, but she never missed a chance to point out who was the “older” one.
“I know what you need.” Gemma grinned, hopping off the mattress and disappearing into the kitchen.
A minute later, she returned triumphantly, holding a shooter in each hand. They’d collected dozens during their years at UPenn, but only these two had made the move with Hayley from their college apartment to New York.
“For old time’s sake,” Gemma prompted and raised her tequila shot, her glass etched with the phrase, “I get us into trouble...”
Hayley lifted her own matching glass in response, which read, “I get us out of trouble.”
“To you,” Gemma toasted. “May the next year be full of new memories, adventures, and love.” She winked as they both tossed back their shots of Casamigos Reposado—a far cry from the Smirnoff Vanilla they used to pregame with in college.
Gemma’s face scrunched as the liquor slid warmly down her throat. “Speaking of love…”
Hayley had been waiting for Gemma to bring up Maddie, and to her surprise, it had taken a whole—she checked the time on her phone—twenty-one minutes.
“Everything’s great,” Hayley rushed dismissively, but her voice cracked slightly at the end.
“Hayley.” Gemma’s face was no longer playful. She leveled a stare at Hayley, her brows and mouth both drawn into tight lines.
Hayley’s stomach twisted. She’d spent weeks pretending she didn’t know what was happening inside her, but the truth now pulsed beneath her skin.
She had feelings for Maddie. Real ones. Terrifying ones.
And in three short weeks, Maddie would be back in California, leaving Hayley behind with a heart that might not be able to survive the loss.
The idea of a genuine relationship had always scared her, at least after losing her mom so abruptly.
But Maddie… Maddie had slipped past every single defense she’d thrown at her.
Hayley hadn’t noticed the moment it happened, only the aftermath, when she realized that Maddie already held her hostage.
If she let herself fall any deeper, if she allowed herself to envision a future with this woman, only to watch as Maddie left the East Coast behind for good, sadness wouldn’t even begin to cover it. She’d be gutted. Hollow. Unrecognizable.
“Hayley,” Gemma urged, grabbing her wrist. “What’s wrong?”
Ignoring the question, Hayley stalked into the kitchen and grabbed the bottle of tequila. She stormed back to the bedroom, refilled both shot glasses, and they quickly threw them back together. Even in her confusion, Gemma never left Hayley to drink alone.
“Nothing,” Hayley choked out, her chest tightening. “There is absolutely nothing wrong with Maddie—and that’s the problem, Gem. Because she’s still going to leave me.” She sank onto the edge of her bed.
“Oh, Hay.” Gemma put a gentle arm around her shoulders. “Maddie going back to LA doesn’t mean it has to end. I’m sure you two can figure it out. Lots of people do long-distance.”
Hayley shot her a look. “That’s just a fucking recipe for disaster,” she scoffed, standing up to pace the length of her room.
“I mean, what, we just live out the rest of our lives three thousand miles away? That’s not practical.
Eventually, one of us will have to choose to either give up the life we’ve built or give up each other.
And come on, why would she leave her whole life in LA, her friends and family, behind for someone like me? ”
“Hayley, stop,” Gemma snapped. “You’re acting like you’re just some random fling she’s going to forget the second she lands in LA.
Maddie looks at you like you hung the damn moon.
She’d do anything for you, but you have to ask.
You’re worth crossing a country for, you know, even if you can’t see that yet. ”
“And if I’m not? If Maddie says no?” Hayley pressed. “Gem, I want to die when I think about life without her now.” She came to a halt right in front of Gemma. “You should understand that better than anyone.”
“What do you mean?” Gemma asked softly, her eyes meeting Hayley’s.
“When Caitlin left, you became a shell of yourself. It took you over a year to recover, and even then, you never really did. I have a business to run, employees who depend on me for their livelihoods. I can’t just check out when things go to hell.”
Gemma fell silent.
Hayley worried, wondering if she had gone too far.
Finally, Gemma spoke. “It’s because of me that you should know better than this,” she whispered, an edge in her voice.
“I wouldn’t have become that shell if Caitlin hadn’t left—if she hadn’t done the same thing that you’re talking about doing now.
If she had just fucking asked, I would have followed Cait to LA, and neither one of us would have wasted ten years of our lives heartbroken.
But I was never even given the choice, Hayley.
Don’t take that choice away from Maddie. ”
Before the moment could get too heavy, Gemma stood and cleared her throat, giving Hayley a quick peck on the cheek. With a forced cheerfulness, she looped her arm through Hayley’s and said, “Come on, let’s finish getting you ready. We have a birthday to celebrate.”
An hour later, Gemma practically sprinted to the door, greeting Caitlin like they hadn’t seen each other in months.
They were ridiculous, Hayley thought with a smile.
But it was sweet, the way they truly missed each other after only a few short hours apart.
They both seemed to glow a little brighter when they were together, and it reminded Hayley of how her parents had been before everything had fallen apart.
For the first time since she’d known them, Hayley looked at the couple and realized she felt envious. They shared a love so rooted, so steady, that no distance—no valley, no ocean—could tear them apart. She wanted that. She wanted exactly what they had, with an intensity that scared her.
“Where’s Maddie?” Hayley suddenly asked. She assumed she’d be with Caitlin.
“She was running late. She said she’d meet us there.
” Caitlin turned to Hayley and handed her a massive bouquet of roses.
There must have been two dozen, a mixture of white, soft pink, and peach broken up by green sprigs of eucalyptus and yellow buttercups.
“Happy birthday, Hay.” She pulled Hayley into a brief, tight hug.
“You guys.” Hayley admired the flowers, feeling unexpectedly emotional. “These are beautiful. Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me,” Gemma chimed in, holding up her hands and nodding toward Caitlin.
Hayley’s gaze snapped to Caitlin, her brows lifting.
“As far as I’m concerned, you’re about to become my sister-in-law.” Caitlin offered a warm smile. “And I know we’ve had a bit of a rocky road, but I want you to know that your friendship is just as important to me as it is to Gemma.”
Hayley and Gemma exchanged a look that revealed they were both about to break into tears.
Hayley wrapped her arms around Caitlin. “Thank you, Cait. I’m grateful to have you back in our lives,” she admitted, shocked to discover that she actually meant it.
“Well, now I’m crying.” Gemma wiped her eyes and threw her arms around them both. “I want to give you my gift!”
“Neither of you needed to get me anything,” Hayley protested as Gemma handed her a small rectangular box.
“Oh, zip it.” Gemma grinned, waving her off.
Hayley tore the wrapping paper and lifted the lid. Inside was a porcelain twenty-four-carat-gold Versace vide poche.
“It’s beautiful,” Hayley breathed.
“Flip it over,” Gemma prompted softly.
Hayley felt a tear roll down her cheek as she read the engraving on the bottom of the tray.
For all things rare and precious, as you are to me.
“Gem,” Hayley managed, sniffling slightly.