Chapter 18 #2
“Charis on some bullshit but she’ll let him stay. I know her. She wants to talk shit and be heard but he’s staying,” he assures her before getting out. He treks toward Charis’s ride, opens her passenger door, and slides inside. “What’s up, Charis?” he asks and she sucks her teeth.
“What’s up with you and her?” she snaps.
“All you need to know is she’s with me and will always be with me.”
“Does she stay with you?” she asks and Akeem just shakes his head at her nerve. His silence is expected but still infuriates her. “I don’t like her,” she adds, to break the muteness.
“That’s childish as fuck and just as irrelevant.
You need to get over whatever this is because she isn’t going anywhere.
I’ll bring Quise back Tuesday night,” he says before exiting her ride.
When he gets out, Quise is walking out of the house carrying a large duffle.
“Where’s your book bag?” Akeem asks and he leaves the duffle on the porch and rushes back inside.
Akeem grabs the duffle and takes it to the SUV.
After putting it in the trunk, he leaves it open then gets back in the driver’s seat.
“He’s staying?” Sunjiya asks.
“Yeah. We’ll bring him back Tuesday night,” he says and the realization that they are leaving Wednesday afternoon hits her like a freight truck.
I don’t want to leave him and I definitely don’t want to go back to that apartment.
Her mood changes instantly and her body deflates, including her smile. He notices; that look again. The one that makes him think she’s holding back.
“What’s that about?” he asks after lightly grabbing her chin.
While shaking her head, she begins, “It’s no—”
The opening of the back door halts her words. Quise gets in talking. “I don’t know what’s up with Momma. She still in the car,” he says right before closing the door.
“It’s been a long but good day. She’s proud of you and probably just needs a minute. She’s fine,” Akeem assures him and his words are enough for Quise. He merely nods and places his Beats on. “What were you going to say, bae?” he asks Sunjiya.
“Oh. Nothing. I’m good. Just getting tired,” she lies.
It’s more than just being tired. There’s a war brewing in her mind and heart between her increasing and undeniable feelings for him and her obligation.
She still has to deal with the person who texted her and that six-month deadline is approaching.
The first two passed quickly when she was on the run.
The next with him flew by even faster. What the hell am I going to do?
“We’ll be at the house soon,” he says before backing out of the driveway.
They arrive at the beach house not even twenty minutes later.
When Akeem pulls into the garage, he turns back to Quise.
He taps his ear and Quise takes off his headphones.
“Your room is upstairs. As soon as you get up, it’s on the right.
Don’t make too much noise in case your meemee and pawpaw are sleep. ”
“I won’t,” Quise says while nodding quickly. He’s dying to get inside and see the bomb ass house. Without waiting for them, he hops out, grabs his stuff from the trunk ,and enters the house.
After turning the SUV off, Akeem turns to Sunjiya. Sincerely, he asks, “Are you sure you’re okay with him staying?”
“Yes! Of course. I’m cool with Quise; I really like him.
How can I not? He’s a little charmer like his dad,” she says with a wry smile.
“It really has been a long day and I’m tired.
Plus, I ate way too much lunch and dinner.
Your mom can cook, by the way. I just want to get in here, shower, and fall asleep on you. ”
“If that’s all it is, we can do that. I’ll even wash your back in the shower.”
“Mm. I’ll definitely take that,” she says before leaning over the console. After kissing his lips, she says, “Let’s go in before they start looking for us.”
“The only one up is probably Axton. He never fucking sleeps.”
She pecks his lips again, hoping to draw the strength she needs to stop the war in her mind from him. I swear, shit is never easy for me, she sighs to herself before saying, “I’m ready.”
Akeem nods then they get out after he grabs her cup of ice and leftovers. She enters first and they’re both surprised to hear awake, vibrant voices when they enter. Everyone is up, including Akeem’s parents, in the living room with Axton and Quise.
“I thought you would be sleep,” Akeem says when he walks into the living room.
“Your dad is enjoying this big TV and I’m just not ready to go yet,” Debrah says.
“Well, we’re about to head up,” he says and Sunjiya turns to him.
In a low voice, she says, “You can stay down here with your family. I’ll be fine.”
“Nah. I promised to wash your back.”
“Stay. I’ll shower and just be waiting on you in bed,” she says before kissing him. Then, she turns to his family. “I’m heading up. Good night,” she says and they all respond in concert in kind.
Sunjiya ambles up the stairs and plops onto the bed the moment she’s in the bedroom.
She pulls her cell from her jean pocket and stares at the texts again.
Things were so different when the plan was hatched and the agreement was made to meet in six months, so much.
The biggest and best being him. Feelings she thought had been beaten out of her have emerged and she’s fallen.
What’s even more incredible is that he’s fallen too.
Unlike most people in her past, he wants her and treats her how she’s only dreamed.
“What am I going to do?” she murmurs before standing.
After locking her phone and placing it into the drawer on her side of the bed, she journeys into the closet, undresses, and treks into the bathroom.
Once the shower is to her preferred temperature, she pulls her hair into a high bun and steps in.
For a moment, she just lets the hot water and the high-pressure, power-pulsing, massage showerhead work their magic.
Then she washes her body with her coconut cocoa butter shower gel.
About thirty minutes later, she emerges from the bathroom clean, refreshed, moisturized, and resolute.
I’m not going to meet.
Fuck the plan.
I’m choosing myself for once and I’m choosing him.
By the time Akeem makes it into the room an hour later, she’s comfortable and asleep.
Trying not to wake her, he closes the door, locks it, then creeps into the closet.
After taking off his clothes, he lightly walks into the bathroom and showers.
Once out, he tries to ease into bed but she feels and smells him as soon as he’s under the spread.
“What time is it?” she utters before turning onto her side.
“After two, bae. Go back to sleep,” he utters regrettably.
“I will,” she says. She inches closer, nestles herself on his chest, and inhales his scent. “You used my body wash,” she says, amused. “I like how it smells on you.”
“It was an accident,” he admits. “Mine was on the sink but I was already in the shower so I said fuck it.”
“I really like it on you though.” She inhales him again then exhales before stretching her hand to his head. As she mindlessly massages his neck, his hands caress her back and ass. “Has everybody gone to bed now?” she asks.
“Yeah. They went about an hour ago. It was just me and Axton up. I have another job,” he admits and she props her head on her arm to give him her full attention.
“Where? When? You’re leaving?” And I have to go back to that apartment alone?
“Instead of going back to Austin Wednesday, I’m going to fly to D.C.”
A lump forms in her throat, growing with each of his words, preventing her from expressing her thoughts. Only one word falls off her lips.
“Oh,” she mumbles, then drops her head.
“My jobs typically don’t last longer than a week, so I won’t be gone long. But either way, I want you at my place while I’m gone and when I get back,” he says and his words dissolve the lump in her throat.
“Seriously? You do?” she questions.
“Yeah, I do. I really do, bae. Shit with us happened fast but it is what it is. I love you and I want you with me all the fucking time, every day and every night. Please say you’ll stay. When I come back from the job, we can go to Atlanta and get your stuff.”
“Are you sure that’s what you want?” she questions.
“Yeah. Real fucking sure. This right here,” he says while holding her a little tighter. “This is the only way I want to fall asleep. Stay with me.”
“Did you say you love me?”
“I did ’cause I do. I love you and don’t want you feeling pressured to say it just because I did.”
Her head drops again and she rests the side of her face on his chest. This feeling is so new and foreign to her, receiving and reciprocating it.
In fact, the last time she felt anything close to this she was fifteen in high school, but she was a child then and Emmanuel was just a boy.
This is different, this is real. She’s a grown ass woman and Akeem is a man, the first man to ever express real love to her.
So what do I tell him? How can I explain to him that I don’t know what love is?
“But I want to say it,” she finally admits.
“I’m just scared because I honestly don’t know if I know how to love you back.
I’m fucked up, Akeem. Really fucked up. Since I can remember, I’ve been living in third person, just surviving.
When all you have lived or experienced is bad shit, you don’t have a real life.
You just go minute by minute trying to survive, praying whatever bad shit you’re in at the moment moves the hell on,” she says.
Tears fill her eyes as she reveals her hard truth.
She does her best to hold them in but they fall on his bare chest. He feels them and hears the tremble in her voice.
His entire body stiffens and he holds her tighter.
There’s so much he wants to say to comfort her but he’s cautious to not interrupt.
After wiping her tears, she continues. “I haven’t been surviving with you.
At least not after the first day,” she says, then finds herself smiling a little.
“I’ve been living, having fun, meeting your son and family, and just being with you.
I’m happy, like genuinely happy, and that’s new but feels good.
I’m different with you but still myself, if that makes sense.
Hell, nothing I’m saying probably makes sense but I’m trying to explain it.
I love you. I may not know how to love you the right way, so don’t hold that against me.
When I’m not doing it right, don’t stop loving me. Okay?” she asks, then lifts her head.
Before responding, he sits up, lifting her with him. While one hand caresses her back, the other grazes the side of her face and lands under her chin. With her attention captured, he stares lovingly into her tear-filled eyes.
“I love you, Sunjiya, all of you. Just knowing you love me is enough, so you can’t do it wrong. Besides, I’ll love you enough for both of us. I just need you to let me,” he says and she nods while soaking up the sincerity in his words.
After thumbing tears from her face, he kisses her softly then eases them back into the bed. His arms engulf her and she snuggles into his warm body. Comforted, loved, and at peace, she closes her eyes.
“I love you, Akeem,” she utters before drifting to sleep.