04
Tae Hyun slipped his sunglasses on before the harsh fluorescents at Haneda’s private terminal gave him a headache. His long-practiced smile came next, ready for the gathered fans he could already hear from the corridor ahead. Their excited squeals when he emerged to greet them were a familiar soundtrack to his airport arrivals. He waved, grateful for his sunglasses to protect his eyes from the storm of phone camera flashes. He shared a quick glance with Seong Min, who nodded, understanding Tae Hyun’s unspoken question. Then he approached the barricade where his fans waited, Seong Min at his back like a friendly shadow.
“Thank you so much!” Tae Hyun called out in Japanese, making a hand heart and eliciting a second blitz of camera flashes. A hundred hands reached for him as he slowly passed by the crowd, stopping every few steps to pose for more photos and sign a few autographs.
Hi-touch meetings like that were essential for idols. The fans in attendance–top members of their local U41A clubs–were sure to report back on the experience to the other members. And many were live-streaming the whole thing on their socials. It didn’t matter that he’d just spent ten hours on a plane and was utterly exhausted. He’d used the final hour before landing to shower, change, do his makeup, and style his hair to perfection just for them.
It also didn’t matter that Tae Hyun’s smile hid his true feelings. His arrival was bittersweet for multiple reasons. He hadn’t been to Tokyo since discovering that Chang Min was cheating on him. And he hadn’t traveled without Jason since they’d first moved in together in Los Angeles. A few weeks prior, Jason was by his side for his first solo shows in Incheon, basking in the adoration and teasing him about his adoring public. He sighed, pushing the thought aside. There was no use in dwelling on it.
Then Tae Hyun caught sight of a single fan shyly hanging back while the others around him surged toward the security rope. It wasn’t unusual for U4 s to be male. Some even came to his fan meets. But something about this particular boy, who couldn’t have been older than his mid-teens, grabbed his attention–a simple rainbow pin fixed to his official Boy With No Shame tour shirt.
Tae Hyun halted in place, catching the boy’s eye and smiling. “Would you like an autograph?” he asked in Korean, not remembering how to say it in Japanese.
The boy nodded, holding out a pen and photo card from the deluxe Boy With No Shame album package. Tae Hyun took both, signing the card and adding a heart before motioning for the boy to come forward.
“Would you like a photo?”
The boy nodded again, his cheeks bright red, his eyes sparkling with impending tears. A hush fell over the assembled crowd as Tae Hyun motioned for Seong Min to lift the barrier rope. The boy ducked under and held out his phone. Seong Min took it as Tae Hyun put his arm around the boy’s shoulders and pulled him close. He smiled as brightly as he could, holding up a finger heart as Seong Min snapped a few photos. Then he returned the phone from Seong Min to the now openly weeping boy.
“I love you,” the boy muttered in Korean.
“I love you, too,” Tae Hyun replied, near to tears himself. “And I’m so glad you’re here.” He pointed to the rainbow pin. “Never forget what makes you and I so special.”
The boy eagerly nodded as Seong Min lifted the rope so he could rejoin the other fans, who’d resumed cheering and clamoring for attention. It had been so far out of bounds for Tae Hyun to do that. But it had also been important. Being a gay idol came with new responsibilities, including the need for his openly gay fans to be seen and feel welcome. He could hardly imagine what it would’ve felt like to meet a gay idol when he was that young.
But, even feeding off his fans’ boundless energy, Tae Hyun could feel his own energy waning. Meeting with fans by himself was draining. When he used to do hi-touch meet-and-greets with XTC, there were two others to spread out the pressure. Alone, he may as well have been walking through quicksand–and was quickly being dragged under. He caught Seong Min’s eye, who nodded and stepped forward to usher an apologetic Tae Hyun toward the exit door.
“I’m sorry to end this now, everyone,” Tae Hyun announced in his halting Japanese, “but I have to go. I’ll see you again from the stage!” He let his smile fall away once he was sure the door was closed and he was out of sight.
“Are you alright, sir?” Seong Min’s presence had been a welcome buffer between him and the fans, efficiently guiding him past the crowd.
“I am, thank you.” Tae Hyun quietly sighed. “That was harder than I remembered.” Then his smile returned. “Thank you for helping me with those photos.”
“Of course, sir. It seemed important.” Seong Min nodded to something behind Tae Hyun. “Ah. Here comes Ms. Kim.”
Tae Hyun turned to find a familiar woman flanked by a pair of assistants he vaguely recognized. The woman was Mina Kim, his tour manager, smartly dressed in dark jeans, a black shirt, and a black tuxedo jacket with sleek, dark hair. She extended a hand once she was in reach.
“Welcome to Japan, Mr. Woo.”
Tae Hyun smiled as he took Mina’s hand. Her handshake was firm, her gaze assessing. Tae Hyun found himself instantly relaxing. Her no-nonsense demeanor was exactly what he needed right then. “Just Tae Hyun, please. And, thank you.” He nodded to the door behind him. “Did you arrange all that?”
Mina nodded. “I did. But it was Mr. Park’s–uh, Jason’s idea. He thought it might lift your spirits.”
Hearing that Jason had thoughtfully suggested a private fan meeting made Tae Hyun miss him even more. He pushed those feelings aside, too. “Thank you for that. It was a wonderful welcome.”
Mina nodded, satisfied with a mission successfully accomplished. “Of course. Let’s get you to your hotel. We have a car waiting at the terminal’s private entrance.” She slyly winked. “It’ll be much quieter.”
“Our bags?”
“Already on their way.”
“My sister?”
“Already at the hotel.” Mina gestured back toward where she’d come from. “Shall we? ”
Tae Hyun relaxed even further, knowing that he and his tour were in capable hands. “Yes, please.”
Tae Hyun and Seong Min followed Mina and her two assistants through a series of corridors, finally emerging into pleasant mid-afternoon sunshine. A glossy, black van waited in the drive, complete with a white-glove-wearing chauffeur beside the open side door. Tae Hyun climbed inside, relaxing in his soft leather seat while the others filled the seats around him. He took out his phone, finally turning it on while Mina and Seong Min quietly conferred with each other, and sent a message to Jason.
I made it safely. We’re on our way to the hotel.
The typing indicator immediately appeared, followed by Jason’s reply. That’s great! Hope you had a nice flight. Did you get my welcome surprise?
Tae Hyun chuckled to himself. I did. It was perfect. Thank you for being so thoughtful.
Anything for you, Jason replied. I miss you already. I can wait up if you want to call me when you get to the hotel.
It had to be after midnight in Los Angeles already. While it would be nice to hear Jason’s voice, Tae Hyun knew he’d probably be occupied for the next few hours. I don’t know when I’ll be able to call. You should get some sleep. I love you.
I love you, too!
Tae Hyun smiled as he sent a message to Yun Seo announcing his arrival before putting his phone away. Hopefully, she already knew he was there. It would be nice to see her again after his time in Los Angeles for the funeral. Assuming he managed to pull her away from Seong Min.
The curtains on the van’s blacked-out windows made any sightseeing practically impossible. So, Tae Hyun spent the van ride politely listening and nodding as Mina detailed his schedule for the next few days. He already knew it by heart and only listened in case anything had changed. Thankfully, the rest of his day was free. Their arrival at the Shinjuku Grand Hotel was also thankfully free of any fanfare as the van pulled into a secure, underground entrance meant for VIPs. Mina and her team took Tae Hyun and Seong Min to the VIP lobby via a private elevator, where she handed Seong Min their room keys.
“Relax and rest up,” Mina encouraged Tae Hyun. “I’m only a phone call away if you or your sister need anything. Otherwise, I’ll see you again in the morning for rehearsal.” She turned to leave, stopping at the last moment. “Oh, I almost forgot. Yoshida Ren asked to meet you sometime today if you’re up for it.”
Tae Hyun and Ren, the charismatic lead singer of his red-hot opening act, Sweet Beast , had officially already met–a fleeting handshake at a Tokyo press event during Tae Hyun’s last visit to Japan. Neither of them were out at the time. Tae Hyun vaguely recalled rumors swirling around Ren shortly after their meeting, followed by a tabloid scandal, a forced outing, and a brutal struggle to regain his footing in the industry. Ren’s path to success had been far from smooth, not unlike Tae Hyun’s comeback success.
Tae Hyun nodded. “I’d love to meet with him. Just let me know when.”
“Of course.”
Seong Min took Tae Hyun to his suite, going in first without pretense to ensure everything was safe and secure. Once he was satisfied, he gave Tae Hyun his key. Then he held up his own. “I’m in the room next door, sir. I believe your sister is down the hall. Would you like me to let her know you’re here? Or, I could bring her here now.”
Tae Hyun examined Seong Min’s expression with narrowed eyes, looking for any hints of his ulterior motives, but found none. “You know you can just tell me you want to see her, right? It’s okay.”
Seong Min immediately frowned. “Are you sure, sir? I have an hour before I meet with the tour security team, so it would mean the world to me.”
Tae Hyun nodded, patting Seong Min’s well-muscled shoulder. “Of course, I’m sure. Go on.” He grinned. “And tell her I said hi.”
“Thank you, sir.”
Seong Min bowed before leaving Tae Hyun alone to explore his suite. Afternoon sunlight filtered through the floor-to-ceiling windows, bathing the room in a warm glow. Plush carpeting muffled his footsteps, a peaceful contrast to the bustling city outside. An oversized, butter-soft leather sofa dominated the spacious sitting room. The walls, painted in muted, neutral tones, were sparsely adorned save for a few framed classical prints. An artfully arranged bouquet of lilies added a splash of vibrant color to the sleek glass coffee table.
Tae Hyun moved on to the bedroom, a sanctuary of white and cream, anchored by a plush king-sized bed. It was lavish and comfortable, yet the sheer size of the space only amplified his solitude. Whoever had delivered his suitcases had already set them inside the walk-in closet next to the rest of his luggage. He found his toiletry bags and brought them to the bathroom, a gleaming expanse of marble and chrome, to use the toilet and wash up. He was almost finished removing his makeup when someone knocked on his door. Had Seong Min sent Yun Seo to see him already? He dried his face, wandered toward the suite’s door, and peeked through the peephole. It was Ren.
Surprised, Tae Hyun considered not opening it. He’d just cleaned his face and looked too tired to be seen by anyone. And he’d asked Mina to let him know when, first. Still, Ren was a fellow idol and his opening act. Better to be gracious.
Tae Hyun smiled as he opened the door. “Hello,” he said in Japanese.
Ren deeply bowed, sharing a rapid cascade of Japanese Tae Hyun barely caught. Despite the lessons Kbr had given him, the years had eroded his language skills–a fact made more glaring by Ren’s unexpected greeting.
Ren’s stage persona, with its flamboyant, androgynous edge and smoldering gaze, was nowhere to be seen. Instead, a simple white T-shirt hugged his lean frame, with dark jeans emphasizing his long legs. He wasn’t made up, and his hair–dyed a bold shade of rose gold for the tour–was unstyled, falling around and framing his handsome face in tousled chunks, adding an unexpected touch of softness. But his youthful energy was undeniable. He was every bit the vibrant pop star Tae Hyun knew.
Tae Hyun chuckled with embarrassment as he returned the bow. “Sorry. My Japanese is a little rusty.”
Ren’s face flashed with understanding, emphasized by a disarming grin. “No worries.” He effortlessly switched to fluent Korean. “I welcomed you to Japan and wished you great success on the tour.”
Tae Hyun’s surprise was impossible to hide. “And your Korean is so good! Much better than my Japanese.”
“Thanks.” Ren shrugged, grinning with a hint of self- deprecation. “And sorry for the ambush. I overheard Mina mention your room number, so I came right up. I hope it’s okay?”
“Of course!” Tae Hyun stepped aside, allowing some genuine warmth into his voice. “Please, come in.”
Ren entered, eyes widening as he slipped off his shoes and took in the suite. “Whoa. This is amazing! It’s at least twice the size of mine.”
An embarrassed flush warmed Tae Hyun’s ears. “This? Honestly, it’s overkill.”
Ren’s laughter was easy and genuine. “Are you kidding? You’re the Woo Tae Hyun, global superstar. You deserve every bit of this.” He punctuated his words with a playful nudge. “I’m just the opening act.”
Tae Hyun’s frown was half-confused, half-amused. Was Ren being real? Or was there a subtle dig behind his praise? “Uh–”
“Sorry.” A hint of genuine remorse softened Ren’s teasing expression. “That sounded way bitchier than I meant it to. I honestly meant it as a compliment.”
Tae Hyun happily chuckled, relieved that he wasn’t the only one feeling awkward. “I’m glad you’re my opener.” He gestured toward the suite’s wet bar. “Want a drink?”
Ren’s infectious grin swiftly returned. “Sure, why not? We’re off today, right?”
“Absolutely.” Tae Hyun went to the bar, inspecting his options before grabbing a familiar bottle. “Gin?”
Ren flopped onto the couch, casually sprawling to claim the space as his own. “Vodka soda, if you have it.”
Tae Hyun chuckled. “I think I can manage that.” He quickly mixed their drinks before delivering Ren’s and joining him on the couch. “Do you remember when we first met? ”
Ren sipped his vodka, a thoughtful gleam in his eyes. “I sure do. A lot’s changed since then. I’m in a new group now. You’ve gone solo. And we’re both out and proud.”
Tae Hyun chuckled. “That we are.” He mirrored Ren’s relaxed posture, grateful that their mutual awkwardness was already fading. “It’s part of why I wanted you on this tour.”
Ren’s fearless laughter was almost musical. “Only part?”
Tae Hyun shrugged, almost smiling. “I like your music. Our sounds blend well.” He paused. He hadn’t known what to expect of Ren, but his easy charm surprised him. And it was fitting. Here was another gay idol, someone who’d walked the same path and faced the same battles. Maybe it could be the start of something more than just a professional relationship. “And yeah, the gay thing helps.”
Ren snorted, the sound unexpectedly endearing. “Finally! It’s about fucking time being gay actually helped me get a gig.” He playfully narrowed his eyes. “Then again, you know all about career near-death experiences, don’t you?”
“Yeah,” Tae Hyun groaned. “Kbr really had it in for me. If they’d had their way, I’d probably be a restaurant cook somewhere.”
Ren’s eyebrows shot up, teasing his curiosity. “Oh, he sings, mixes drinks, and cooks? Is there no end to your talents?”
Tae Hyun raised his glass in a mock salute. “At your service.”
Ren laughed so hard he snorted. “You’re such a textbook idol in every way. Do you know I used to be a trainee in Korea? I was with SCG Entertainment for a few years before I signed with Sunbeat in Japan.”
“Oh, that explains why your Korean is so good.”
“I’ve had so many lessons,” Ren complained, rolling his eyes. “I even tried out for Dream Boy Project once but didn’t make it past the first round.”
Dream Boy Project was a reality competition show SCG Entertainment used to produce some of their new idol groups. The last time it was aired, they created DAZ3 .
Tae Hyun hesitated, sensing a shift in Ren’s easygoing demeanor. “Do you regret it?”
Ren’s gaze met Tae Hyun’s, his open expression smoldering with defiance. “Regret what? The trainee years? Going back to Japan? The part where everyone found out I’m gay, and my whole career nearly went down in flames?” He chuckled, low and dark. “Regret’s got too many layers, doesn’t it?”
Tae Hyun frowned, suddenly wishing he hadn’t pushed things so far that soon. “Sorry if that was too much to ask,” he said, hearing his own shame. “I’ve never talked to another gay idol before. Not knowingly, at least. And I feel like I have a million questions.”
Ren laughed, softer than before, and touched with genuine warmth. “You think I wasn’t dying to meet you? Sweet Beast , they’re my brothers. But–” He paused, shifting to mirror Tae Hyun’s posture, their connection growing stronger by the minute. “–they don’t get it the way we do.”
“Exactly!” Tae Hyun perked back up, relieved that he hadn’t misread the situation after all. “I mean, there was this boy at my fan meet today–”
Ren cut him off with a loud snort. “Oh, yeah. Everyone’s talking about that.”
Tae Hyun immediately sat up. “What do you mean?”
“Are you kidding?” Ren brightly chuckled as he retrieved his phone from his back pocket. The screen displayed a K-star Daily post about Tae Hyun’s airport meet and greet already in his browser. “The videos of you pulling that kid from the crowd to take those photos are already going super viral. It was a genius move. You can’t pay for that kind of publicity.”
Tae Hyun frowned, surprised at Ren’s callous take. “It wasn’t a publicity stunt.”
Ren’s grin quickly fell away as he lowered his phone. “Oh, I know! I didn’t mean it like that. Anyone can see that you two had a genuine moment. That’s why the videos are spreading so fast. Everyone’s either falling in love with you all over again or–” He trailed off.
Tae Hyun nodded, relaxing back on the couch. “Yeah, or . That’s why I did it. He was brave enough to wear a rainbow pin to my fan meet. I wanted him to know that I support him as much as he supports me.”
Ren smiled, eagerly nodding. “That’s what I meant, yeah. The world is full of haters. Having someone like you offering that support will probably change his life.”
“Hopefully, for the better.”
Ren nodded again. “Yeah, hopefully. But it just makes what we do that much more important, right? It’s why I’m so stoked to be on this tour. You really get it, you know?”
Tae Hyun smiled so wide it almost made his cheeks hurt. “For sure. And I’m glad you’re here, too. The only other gay idol I know is a total asshole.”
Ren laughed as he rolled his eyes. “At least you know another one! You’re the only one I’ve ever met.” Then his grin shifted, his eyes slyly narrowing. “Plus, you’ve got that movie star boyfriend, too,”
“Jason’s so amazing. And he’s made my life so wonderful.” But he’s American, Tae Hyun didn’t say. And he’s not an idol. Sometimes, it’s like he’s from a different planet. “And I really miss him. ”
Ren’s piercing gaze lingered on Tae Hyun for so long that he wondered if he’d spoken his thoughts aloud. Then, his smile returned warm and bright. “Yeah, your man seems pretty amazing. And he’s lucky to have you. I hope there’s someone out there like that for me.”
Tae Hyun wanted to assure Ren there was, but the words would’ve felt hollow. As much as he believed everyone deserved that kind of happiness, he knew his situation with Jason was one in a million. Thankfully, a welcome knock at the door saved him from having to reply. “Oh, that must be my sister.”
Ren’s brow furrowed. “Your sister’s here?”
“She’s my assistant.” Tae Hyun stood, setting his glass down with a decisive clink. “This won’t take long if you–”
“Nah,” Ren smoothly rose, stretching until a hint of tanned stomach peeked from beneath his shirt. “I should get going anyway. Lots to do. But, thanks for the chat.” He flashed his trademark grin. “And the drink.” He strolled to the door, throwing it open with a flourish. “Hi!”
Yun Seo froze in place, clearly startled to find a stranger in her brother’s room. “Uh, hi.”
Undeterred, Ren extended his hand with a mischievous gleam in his eye. “I’m Ren. Yoshida Ren from Sweet Beast .”
Yun Seo’s jaw dropped as she took his hand. “Oh, wow! You really are! It’s so great to meet you. I’m a huge fan.”
Ren chuckled as he glanced back at Tae Hyun. “I like her.” Then he turned back to Yun Seo, lifted her hand to his lips, and kissed it. “The pleasure’s mine.” He winked, then slipped past her with a final, “Bye!”
Yun Seo stared after him as she slowly shook her head. “He’s a weird one. ”
“I like him,” Tae Hyun admitted, waving Yun Seo inside. “He’s got great energy.”
Yun Seo surveyed the luxurious suite before plopping beside her brother on the couch. “And such a pretty face.” She playfully wiggled her brows. “But I’m much happier to see you, oppa. How are you? How was Los Angeles?”
Tae Hyun sank back on the sofa, propping his feet on the coffee table as he finally allowed himself to fully relax. “It was so surreal. I mean, I knew Jason was wealthy, but the mansion, the planes–”
“Wait.” Yun Seo leaned forward, interrupting. “Planes as in plural?”
“He owns two planes. I flew here on one of them.”
“Whoa.” Yun Seo shook her head, wide-eyed with shock. “Two planes and a mansion?”
“And a billion-dollar company.” Tae Hyun’s sigh was filled with the sudden ache of missing Jason, worsened by his jet-lagged fatigue. “Leaving him to deal with that by himself feels wrong somehow.”
Yun Seo immediately frowned. “Hey, it’s not like this tour isn’t important, too. He should be here supporting you.”
“Yun Seo–”
“Don’t Yun Seo me, oppa. You know I’m right.”
“No, not about that,” Tae Hyun countered. “Yeah, the timing sucks. But neither of us has any choice. He can’t put his business on hold to jet off to Tokyo with me any more than I could postpone the tour. It is what it is.”
Yun Seo reluctantly nodded. “Okay, yeah. I guess you’re right.”
Tae Hyun feigned shock, raising a surprised eyebrow. “Did you just admit I was right? ”
A mischievous gleam wiped away Yun Seo’s worried expression. “Oh, no. You’re not getting me to say that again.” She playfully smacked his arm. “That’s a once-in-a-lifetime experience. Like a comet.”
Tae Hyun snorted. “Then I’m glad I was here to experience it. Should we go over my schedule?”
Yun Seo brightly smiled and nodded. “Okay. You’re the boss.”