14
After a proper shower, Tae Hyun and Jason finally dried off and dressed, their bodies still humming with lingering passion. Tae Hyun’s blissful afterglow masked the continuing dread that had been poking at the edge of his thoughts all day. The weight of the past few days bore down on him heavier than usual–the relentless paparazzi, the tabloid scandal, and all the trouble with Ren. He was juggling so much. The fear of dropping the ball was constantly in the back of his mind.
The Ghost Kitchen, the hotel’s signature restaurant, was tucked away on the mezzanine level. Flanked by their expanded security complement of Andre, Carlos, and the Song brothers, Jason and Tae Hyun descended in the VIP elevator. The mezzanine overlooked a vast lobby teeming with activity–guests checking in, bellhops whisking away luggage, and a cluster of paparazzi clamoring outside the entrance. He’d managed to avoid them since the scandal had dropped, relying on Vital to handle media statements. But he knew from experience that he couldn’t put it off forever, no matter how much he wanted to. They smelled blood in the water–his blood–and would keep circling him until they finally fed. He could handle the scrutiny and the public persona he had to constantly maintain. He’d even come to terms with the inevitable intrusions into his privacy. What he struggled with was what his hot-headed boyfriend might do.
The restaurant host, a dignified older Taiwanese man with streaks of silver in his neatly trimmed hair, greeted them with understated formality. As he led them to their private dining room, he explained The Ghost Kitchen’s unique concept–a tribute to the forgotten cuisines of Taiwan’s indigenous peoples, a blend of modern techniques and ancient flavors.
The private dining room was all earth tones and textures. Ancient wood carvings adorned the walls, intricate beadwork shimmered on rich tapestries, and the massive dark wood table could easily have accommodated a dozen people. But Tae Hyun saw none of it. As his eyes fell on the table’s fourth place setting, realization hit him, his heart practically jumping from his chest. He’d forgotten. How could he have forgotten who’d be joining them for dinner?
Mina, already seated, rose with a welcoming smile as Tae Hyun and Jason entered, motioning for them to have a seat across from her.
“Hi, boys! Please join me. I hope you had a pleasant flight.”
Tae Hyun forced an enthusiastic smile as he slid into his seat. “It was wonderful,” he replied, hoping his forced enthusiasm sounded genuine.
Jason smiled as he sat beside Tae Hyun. “What about you?”
Mina shrugged. “Every flight’s pretty much the same for me. At least on charters, you’re surrounded by familiar faces.” She reached for the champagne bottle chilling beside her. “Can I fill your glasses?”
Tae Hyun urgently offered his champagne flute with a grateful nod. “Yes, please.”
Jason shook his head. “I’ll wait for the real shit, thank you. ”
Mina chuckled. “I’m sure they’ll come to take drink orders soon. We’re just waiting on one more.”
“What?” Jason frowned, his gaze sweeping the room before landing on the empty place setting. A muscle twitched in his jaw. “What did you do, Mina?”
The soft whoosh of the sliding door drew Tae Hyun’s attention like a magnet.
“Wow, this room is so cool!” Ren strolled in, radiating an effortless charm. His carefully styled outfit screamed Jpop idol–artfully torn, sleek black jeans, a bold graphic tee under a tailored leather jacket, and a pair of immaculately white vintage sneakers that Tae Hyun had once spent an absurd amount of money on after his first album release. The sobbing mess Tae Hyun had consoled backstage in Tokyo was gone, replaced with the vibrant, almost magnetic energy he’d had when they first met.
Ren paused, offering a formal bow to both Jason and Tae Hyun. “It’s nice to finally meet you in person, Jason.” Then he extended his hand. “I’m Yoshida Ren.”
Jason’s gaze lingered on Ren’s hand for a beat too long, as if he contemplated slapping it away. Then he recovered himself and shook it. “Same. Mina didn’t tell us you were coming.”
“Actually,” Tae Hyun quietly admitted, his ears burning with shame, “she did. I just forgot to tell you.”
Jason arched a single eyebrow in Tae Hyun’s direction. “You forgot?”
Tae Hyun’s heart pounded a thundering rhythm against his ribs, threatening to drown out the sound of his own voice. He fought to find the words, to blurt out an explanation, assuring Jason that it was a simple lapse in judgment from the relentless pressure of everything. But all he could manage was a single word. “Sorry.”
A faint frown touched Jason’s lips but quickly morphed into a smile. “It’s no big deal.” Then, Jason turned to Ren, effectively shutting Tae Hyun out for the moment. “In fact, I’m glad you’re here. With everything happening, we should probably have a chat.”
Mina enthusiastically nodded. “That’s what I thought, too.”
Ren’s charming smile never slipped. “What do you want to chat about?”
Jason leaned forward, his gaze holding Ren’s. “I think you can guess, Ren,” he began, low and measured. “This whole mess with the tabloids has caused a lot of headaches for all of us.” He paused, gauging Ren’s reaction.
Ren’s facade cracked as a flash of anger–or maybe defiance–flared in his eyes. It quickly disappeared. “Honestly?” He frowned, his pout full of wounded innocence. “I’ve spent two days dealing with this shit. I’d rather not talk about it anymore.”
“Really?” Jason narrowed his eyes ever so slightly. “Because I absolutely think we should,” he added, a low, dangerous rumble in the otherwise quiet room.
Tae Hyun anxiously shifted in his chair, his stomach churning. Jason had promised to go easy on him. Technically, he was, considering how he’d seen Jason go in on someone he didn’t like. But he was definitely skirting the line, and the last thing Tae Hyun wanted was another dramatic confrontation.
“Have you thought about who the leak might be?” Jason continued, his gaze pinning Ren in place. “It could be one of your fans. Or maybe someone who thinks we shouldn’t be together?” He let the implication linger, a calculated silence more damning than a direct accusation. Tae Hyun saw a flash of uncertainty, maybe even fear, in Ren’s eyes before it was quickly masked.
“Or maybe,” Jason pressed on, cool and razor-sharp, “it’s someone in your inner circle? Someone who stands to gain from these rumors?”
Ren’s breezy smile finally vanished. “Really, Jason?” He took on a wounded tone. “That’s a pretty low blow. Why would anyone in my team want to jeopardize my career like this? That’s just insensitive.” He dramatically sighed. “Look, I get that this whole thing is messy, but believe me. I’m the biggest victim here. Imagine the pressure! My fans are in a frenzy, the media is relentless, and now you’re implying I’m somehow responsible for this?”
Tae Hyun winced. Jason’s accusations were hitting their mark, but this aggressive approach was exactly what he’d feared. He longed to smooth things over, to play the peacemaker, only to avoid everything spinning much further out of control.
Jason casually shrugged. “I’m not implying anything at all. I’m just asking what you think.”
“What I think?” Ren pressed his eyes closed, shaking his head. “I think I want all of this to go away. All I care about is performing and making my fans happy. The last thing I need is this kind of scandal.”
Jason frowned, his eyes narrow. “But is it, though? Someone in your position could really benefit from this kind of publicity.”
Ren visibly flinched. His eyes went wide, glistening from sudden tears. “Benefit? Is that what you think this is about? Some desperate grab for fame?” He angrily frowned. “Look, Jason,” he carefully continued, his cheeks reddening. “I get it. You’re protective of Tae Hyun, and this whole thing has put him under a lot of stress. But there’s no reason to make accusations like that.”
Jason quietly snorted. “I’m not making any accusations.” He casually shrugged. “Like I said, I’m just asking questions.”
Tae Hyun winced. His guilt surged as he watched Ren struggle to maintain his composure. He vividly recalled their conversation in Ren’s dressing room–his tears and vulnerable admissions. Could Jason even be right? Could someone from Ren’s past really be guilty of arranging the potential demise of his career again? It had happened before, yes. But the idea hit a little too close to home for Tae Hyun. Just because one of his own jealous lovers had tried taking him down didn’t mean that happened to everyone. And the last thing he needed was a fight between his boyfriend and his opening act–especially if that fight spilled out of the room and into the blogs.
“Jason, that’s enough,” Tae Hyun said with more resolve than he genuinely felt. But he needed to intervene, to de-escalate the tension before it boiled over. It might mean upsetting Jason–might even make him look like he was defending Ren–but watching this aggressive interrogation was another tabloid disaster waiting to happen.
Jason whipped his head around, surprise registering on his face. “Is it? Because I thought we already talked about this.”
“We talked about asking if he knew anything,” Tae Hyun countered, tight with mounting desperation, “not about making accusations.”
A low, dangerous growl rumbled in Jason’s chest. “I’m not accusing him of anything!”
“Boys.” Mina, ever the diplomat, smoothly cut in. “I think, maybe– ”
“Stay out of this, Mina,” Jason snarled, cutting her off mid-sentence before returning his laser focus to Ren. “You want accusations? Fine. Here’s one: I think you’re a manipulative little shit. I think you enjoy fucking with people. And I think this leak, this whole fucking mess, is payback from someone you fucked over in the past.”
“Jason–” Tae Hyun tried to intervene again, but no one paid him any attention.
“I’ve never hurt anyone on purpose,” Ren interrupted. Tears streamed down his cheeks, but his voice was pure ice. “But you?” His gaze hardened. “You sound like you’re speaking from experience.” He paused, his expression shifting from disappointment to suspicion. “It almost sounds like you’re jealous.”
Jason erupted. “Jealous?” The word echoed through the room. “What the fuck would I be jealous about? Some wanna-be rockstar riding a real idol’s coattails?”
“Jason!” Tae Hyun snapped, the force of his interruption surprising even him. “That’s enough.”
“What?” Jason whirled on Tae Hyun again, staring at him in disbelief. “Are you seriously taking his side right now?”
Tae Hyun’s shoulders slumped in defeat. There was no use denying he’d crossed the line. “I just want everyone to calm down,” he said, his delivery almost robotic. “I’m not taking anyone’s side.”
“Well, that’s just great.” Jason scoffed, a bitter laugh bubbling up from the pit of his rage. “Because you fucking should be. Just like I’m taking your side!” The words exploded from him, a raw eruption of hurt and anger. He shoved his chair back, the sound grating against the room’s silence. “But you’re not. And if this is how it’s going to be, then just fucking handle it yourself.”
Blind rage propelled Jason toward the door, each step leaving a wake of tension in the air. The slamming door’s thundering crash sent a shockwave through the room, the reverberations pounding in Tae Hyun’s skull. He flinched, his eyes glued to the empty space where Jason had disappeared like a fading apparition. Guilt and resentment battled within him, a bitter cocktail that churned his stomach. How had things fallen apart so spectacularly? He felt Mina’s gaze on him and a hot flush of shame reaching from his neck to his ears. Jason had promised to go easy on Ren. But he’d let his temper get the best of him again. Just like he always did.
Mina’s voice broke through Tae Hyun’s dark thoughts. “Well, that was–” She trailed off, clearly searching for the right word but coming up empty. “Something.”
Tae Hyun shifted his gaze to the others. A hint of concern creased Mina’s brow–her expression otherwise carefully neutral. Ren was a different story. His cheeks were flushed crimson and stained with streaks from fresh tears.
“Ren,” Tae Hyun began, unsure how to navigate this minefield. “I need to apologize. Jason–” He paused, gathering his composure. “He’s under a lot of pressure, and he overreacted. I’m sure he meant no disrespect, but I’m sorry.”
Ren’s scoff was dark and humorless. “I’ll say. For a minute, I thought he’d actually take a swing at me.”
Tae Hyun bristled, the memory of Jason’s clenched fists and the fire in his eyes making his own hands tremble. “You don’t need to worry,” he insisted, but the words sounded hollow. “He’d never do that.”
Ren plucked his napkin from his lap to finally dab the tears from his eyes. “Well, I’m not so sure about that.”
Tae Hyun swallowed his automatic sigh. Everything would’ve been so much easier if Jason had just kept his temper in check. But blowing up like that in front of his tour manager and opening act–and then storming off–meant Tae Hyun had to pick up the pieces. “I’ll talk to him,” he volunteered. “I’m sure he’ll want to apologize himself when he cools off.”
“You shouldn’t have to do that,” Ren suggested, already calmer and more even. “I’d never put up with that kind of shit from someone. You deserve better.”
Tae Hyun pressed his lips into a thin line. Ren’s words struck a nerve. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Ren’s soft chuckle was almost condescending. “Don’t I? We’ve both been fucked over before by people claiming to love us, haven’t we? Looks like only one of us learned his lesson.”
Tae Hyun’s nostrils flared from a surge of raw anger. “Don’t do that,” he warned, his voice tight. “You know nothing about us. He had a bad night, that’s all. Don’t try to make it into more than that.” He narrowed his eyes. “And it’s not like you weren’t trying to push his buttons, too.”
Ren’s eyes widened in surprise. “I wasn’t–”
“He’s right,” Mina cut in, earning a shocked look from Ren. “You were. Not that it’s my place to say so.”
Tae Hyun nodded. “See? So maybe be a little more careful with your own accusations.” He pushed his chair back, the sharp scrape against the floor grating on his nerves. “I think I’ll pass on dinner, Mina. I’m sorry. But I’ll see you both at tomorrow’s sound check.”
Tae Hyun calmly went for the door while he inwardly seethed. Ren may not have deserved to be a target of Jason’s rage, but he also hadn’t helped things by poking back like that. The last thing Tae Hyun wanted was to be caught in their battle of wills. But, if he had to be, he needed to take Jason’s side. Just like Jason had reminded him.
Seong Min waited outside the dining room with Andre, who was chatting with someone Tae Hyun assumed was Ren’s security. Tae Hyun raised a questioning eyebrow, the gesture masking his inner turmoil.
“He’s back at the suite, sir,” Seong Min replied to Tae Hyun’s silent question.
That was a relief. Tae Hyun had half-expected to hear that Jason was already on his way to the airport. He quietly sighed. “Alright, then, let’s go back there, too.”
Seong Min tapped Andre’s shoulder, and the two fell into step beside Tae Hyun as they navigated the restaurant. He felt every diner’s eyes on him, burning into his back as he walked. He wanted to run just to escape their stares. He wanted to scream, to explain, to defend Jason’s outburst. It wasn’t Jason’s fault. It was his. But why was he more concerned with soothing Ren’s wounded ego than standing by his boyfriend? Yes, he liked Ren despite his recent missteps. But he’d only really just met the other idol. Yes, they shared a common background, but he hardly even knew Ren. Maybe the relentless spotlight and constant need to maintain a perfect image had made him too eager to please and avoid confrontation. Was he really that conflict-averse that he still expected Jason to quell his infamously hot temper just to avoid making a scene?
The elevator’s rhythmic hum gave Tae Hyun a precious moment of peace. He closed his eyes, losing himself in the motion as he tried to gather the right words for Jason. I’m sorry was probably the best place to start. But it had never been something he was very good at saying.
Seong Hyeon and Carlos stood guard outside the penthouse door when he returned, nodding as Tae Hyun approached. Good. That meant Jason was still inside. Seong Hyeon unlocked the door, stepping aside to let Tae Hyun enter.
Half-expecting to see the suite’s living room in shambles, Tae Hyun was surprised to find everything in pristine order. The only evidence of Jason’s temper was the empty space behind the bar where the Kingston bottle had once stood. Not that Jason had ever angrily torn a room apart. That was more Tae Hyun’s style.
“Hyung?” No one answered Tae Hyun’s call. “Jason?”
Tae Hyun choked back a sigh and wandered deeper into the suite, his senses on high alert. A faint whiff of cigarette smoke hung in the air, drawing his gaze to the open balcony door. He walked outside, the brisk night air cooling the heat simmering under his skin. The twilight sky shimmered in a deep purple haze as the last vestiges of the sun surrendered to the approaching darkness. Below, the Xinyi District cityscape exploded in a riot of color. Buildings glittered like a million scattered stars, while cars streaked along the streets like his restless thoughts. He gripped the railing as he took everything in, the cool metal a comforting touch. His gaze finally settled on Jason, a solitary figure leaning against the far railing. A cigarette smoldered in one hand, bourbon in the other, framed by the delicate silver light of a crescent moon.
“There you are.”
Jason glanced at Tae Hyun, the fiery anger from earlier extinguished, apparently placated by his dual vices. “Here I am,” he murmured, offering a faint smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. He gestured with his cigarette towards the cityscape. “Some view, eh?” He snorted. “I guess you must be rubbing off on me.”
“I guess so.” Tae Hyun wandered over to stand beside Jason. He nodded at the cigarette. “Where did you get that?”
“This?” Jason shrugged. “I called room service.”
Tae Hyun’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “They sell cigarettes?”
Jason shook his head, a wry grin twisting his lips. “Hell no. But I asked the guy who answered if anyone there smoked and offered them a hundred bucks if someone brought me a pack.”
Jason took a drag from his hundred-dollar cigarette, the orange glow illuminating his sharp features. He turned back towards the view, the glittering city lights a backdrop for his silent turmoil.
Tae Hyun awkwardly leaned against the railing beside him. Words clawed at his throat. He was sorry for not supporting Jason. He was mad that Jason had let his temper get the better of him. He was worried to see Jason drinking and smoking. But the words wouldn’t come. He imagined his sister’s voice prodding him to at least apologize. The rest could follow.
“I’m sorry, hyung,” Tae Hyun finally blurted out.
“Are you?” Jason’s demeanor was mysteriously calm for someone who’d just slammed a door and stormed off.
“Of course I am.” Tae Hyun fought to match Jason’s steady tone, but his unjust accusation stung. “I should have backed you up.”
“Yeah, you really should have.” Jason took a final drag and flicked the cigarette over the railing, watching the sparking ember spiral down into the darkness. “But I get it. I made a scene. That’s always a big no-no for you.”
Tae Hyun huffed, his annoyance finally bubbling over. “Oh, of course. Make it all about me and not even a little bit about how much of an asshole you can be sometimes.”
Jason chuckled, the sound hollow and devoid of humor. “Yeah, that’s me. The asshole.” He shrugged, but his nonchalance looked forced. “Always have been. Everybody knows that.”
Tae Hyun groaned, his frustration mounting. “Just because you know you’re an asshole doesn’t make it okay.”
Jason’s eyes narrowed. “Is that how it is?” He turned to face Tae Hyun, a dangerous anger smoldering behind his eyes. “Fine. Then let’s talk about your new best friend, Ren, and how much of an asshole he was to me.”
Tae Hyun’s chest tightened. He didn’t want to fight, not with Jason. But he couldn’t back down now, either. “That’s not fair. I have to work with Ren. We’ve still got another dozen shows together.”
“Not fucking fair?” Jason’s harsh snort matched his suddenly forceful tone. “Let me tell you what’s not fair. That man tried to kiss you. And you didn’t tell me until the shit hit the fan. That makes me think maybe you wouldn’t have ever told me otherwise.” He downed the last of his bourbon in a single gulp. “Which is fine. It’s your fucking life. You don’t have to share every detail with me.”
“I would’ve told you,” Tae Hyun quietly admitted against the backdrop of the city’s hum. His guilt clawed at him. “It only just happened.”
“I said it’s fine.” Jason pushed off the railing, his movements sharp and agitated. He poured another generous measure of bourbon, the clink of crystal against glass piercing the tense silence. “It’s not like you tried to kiss him, right?” He swallowed half the bourbon in one go. “But then you defended him. You stood up for him to me.” His tone grew knife-edged. “To me, Tae Hyun. As if my asking him about the tabloid shit was somehow out of line. Do you really care that much about what he thinks?”
Tae Hyun had no good answer for that. The correct answer would’ve been no. But the truth was messier, tangled up in his guilt and an unsettling sense of obligation towards Ren. Maybe he did care that much. But that didn’t make Jason’s behavior okay, either. “I don’t know,” he mumbled. “Maybe.”
Jason’s heavy sigh settled like a weight on his shoulders. He stared into the swirling depths of his glass, then downed the rest. “You really need to figure out what’s important to you, Tae Hyun. Because right now, I’m not so sure it’s me.” He grabbed the bottle and stalked towards the door, his shoulders tight with tension.
“Where are you going?” Tae Hyun asked, wishing he hadn’t sounded so desperate.
Jason stopped, his back to Tae Hyun. “I’m tired,” he said, flat and humorless. “I’m going to bed.”
Tae Hyun stood frozen as Jason disappeared into the suite, the city lights blurring into a kaleidoscope of colors that matched the storm of conflicting emotions raging within him. Anger at Jason’s cold dismissal wrestled with a deep sense of guilt. He loved Jason fiercely, loved him more than anything in the world. But this wasn’t the first time Jason’s hotheadedness had caused him trouble. He’d been thrilled when Jason said he was coming, relieved to have him by his side for this mess, but the old patterns were already resurfacing.
Tae Hyun wanted to shout, hurl accusations, and demand the support he craved. But maybe that was unfair. Jason had been through a lot, too, dealing with his parents’ deaths and a corporate takeover. He was probably just as exhausted and overwhelmed as Tae Hyun. But that didn’t excuse his behavior.
Tae Hyun’s shoulders slumped, the weight of the unresolved conflict finally settling upon him. He longed for understanding. For comfort. For Jason to recognize how much he, too, was hurting. But all he felt was a bone-deep weariness and a longing for the simplicity of a life that seemed so far away.