39. Rook
Chapter thirty-nine
Rook
It’s been three weeks since Tilly asked for more and my stomach still feels like butterflies are about to take flight every time I see her. I had hoped to take her out on an actual date by now, but our game schedule and her new recording schedule keep putting a damper on any extra time we can sneak in.
So far, we've only managed stolen moments before or after the game, nights of unbelievable sex in hotel rooms and a whole lot of texting.
Now, as I lean against my bike, I can’t help but smile as I shoot her a text to let her know I’m waiting. A minute later she comes bounding out of the door, legs encased in skintight black jeans. Her ass makes my mouth water as she turns to pull the door shut. She is wearing my hoodie from the last time we rode together, but that isn’t safe enough for the ride I have planned.
“I wasn’t sure if you’d be riding or not,” she says, her hip popping out as she waits for me.
“Yeah, well, I know how much you love it.” I flash her a wink and the teasing smile she returns warms me more than any riding jacket could.
“What are you gonna do when the roads get too icy? Do you even have another vehicle?”
I shrug. “I guess I’ll have to look at buying one.”
I hold out the new riding jacket I bought for her. Her nose crinkles as she eyes the black leather in my hand.
“What is that?”
“A riding jacket?”
“Yeah, I get that, but why do you have one for me?”
“Because we’ll be riding?” I know I’m goading her. I can’t help it, loving the way her nose screws up right before she rolls her eyes when she gets annoyed. I hear her sigh and I can’t help but smile as I get closer to her. Watching her body react to my proximity is my latest obsession.
“As much as I love staring at you in my clothes, I would like to keep your body exactly the way it is. Which won’t happen if we come off and you’re only wearing that.” I nod towards her outfit.
“Do you want me to take this off?” She holds out the hem of my hoodie.
“No,” I say, probably too quickly. If she takes it off, I won’t be able to resist dragging her back inside and spending the day licking every inch of her body. “It’s fine. It should fit over the top.”
I hold the jacket open for her and she slips her arms in. I then lift it onto her back and carefully arrange the hood, ensuring her hair is free from any tangles before letting it cascade over her shoulder.
She looks at me over her shoulder, whispering a thanks. Turning her back around to face me, I grab the sleek black helmet I purchased for her. I hand it to her backwards so it’s facing the right direction for her to slip onto her head, but also so she can see the sticker I had made for the back.
She’s smiling at me, about to put it on. But then she tilts her head to the side, as she takes in the script.
“ Rockstar. Really?” She chuckles, running her thumb over the delicate cursive, a small smile gracing her lips.
“I’d hate it if I lost you.” Her eyes shine as they meet mine, and I hope she is feeling an ounce of what I am.
“Can I kiss you now?”
I shrug at her question, but my smile grows bigger. I want this girl to be mine. My hand moves to her waist as she tips her head up to meet mine. I relax into the kiss, taking my time. We have all day and if I have any say in our future, this will be just the beginning.
I pull back, my nose resting against hers. “You’re going to have to stop sucking on my face if you want to get anywhere other than upstairs today.” Her cheeks flush and she punches me away, but her smile is radiant.
She steps back, placing her helmet on the floor while she ties her hair in a braid. Once she’s done, she slides the helmet on like a pro and works on fastening it, sadly not needing my help. She flips the visor up while I finish setting myself up. “So, where are we headed?”
“You’ll just have to wait and see.” With no hesitation, she accepts my outstretched hand, gracefully swinging her leg over the back and cuddling up against me.
I smile to myself as the bike roars to life. Yeah, I could definitely get used to this.
I’d been stuck on ideas about where to take her; I knew she wanted to ride. The evidence of the flushed cheeks and slight bounce in her step after the first time. But I don’t even remember the last girl I took out on an actual date, or found someone that made me want to make an effort. So the worry that I was going to fuck this up, was a like a constant nagging voice in the back of my mind.
We hit the highway, and she grips me tighter, the feel of her against my back a comfort I didn’t realize I needed.
As we come into Rockford, I find a park to stop in and stretch before we continue on.
“Rockford? What are we doing here?” she asks, taking off her helmet and placing it on top of the picnic table I pulled up next to.
“You’ve been here before?” I open the lockbox on the back, pulling out a bottle of water and offering it to her.
“Yeah, we played a few gigs here when we were first starting out.” She leans against the picnic table, stretching. “Being only an hour and a half away, we jumped on anything we could. God, that feels like a lifetime ago.”
“And look at you now.”
The things this girl has done in her life are incredible. It baffles me how she can navigate her demanding world and still retain her genuine kindness, making it impossible for me not to fall for her.
“Yeah. It’s funny how you take for granted the life you’re living while you’re living it. It’s only when you get to look back that you realize those were the good days. We were already living the dream.”
“You don’t like where you’re at now?” I ask, taking out my water bottle and leaning back on the bike.
“Yes. No. I don’t know. It’s like losing Sloane has turned it all around, you know? Six months ago, I was exactly where I wanted to be: selling out stadiums, touring the world. Now I just feel like I’ve missed out on so much.”
“Yeah, I feel you.”
“Sorry, you’ve made such an effort and I’m here being a total bummer.”
“You aren’t a bummer,” I huff out. Any words that escape her lips, I will eagerly soak up. “I feel the same. Like if my mom hadn’t given up so much for me to be here, would I still be doing it?” I plop down next to her at the table.
Looking over, her gaze assesses me. “You don’t love hockey?”
“No, that’s not it. I fucking love hockey. But my job turned her life upside down, and if I had a do-over, I’d pick a mindless office job so she wouldn’t have to give up anything for me.” I sigh, running my hand through my hair.
“I don’t think she would think of it as a sacrifice. I saw the way she was with you. You’re her whole world.”
“That’s the point. Her sacrifice has made it so I’m all she has, and half the time, I can’t even be there.” I’m pissed, not at Tilly, but at life and my father.
“I don’t think you’d make a good paper pusher,” she says, changing the subject.
I huff out another small laugh. “No?”
“Nah.” She gets off the table, strolling in front of me before holding out her hand. “You’d make a much hotter gym teacher.”
I bark out a laugh so loud, I think I frighten the birds in the trees above us.
“Where to now, hotshot?” she asks, holding her helmet on her hip.
“Hotshot?” My eyebrow rises in question.
“I don’t know, just testing it out. Feels unfair that you have a nickname for me and I don’t have one for you.”
“Well, you have called me God a few times,” I suggest with a wink, and she throws her water bottle at me.
“You did not just say that,” she laughs as I catch the bottle one handed, dropping it into the lockbox.
“I thought I’d take you on the Rock River run. I haven’t been, but I’ve heard it’s beautiful.”
“Who have you been talking to?” Well shit, she caught me.
“Ok, I found it online, but all the reviews said it was good. I just wanted to get you out of the city for a while.” My lips twist as she stares at me, before she steps up to me, pressing her hands onto my chest. Can she feel the way it hammers at her touch through my jacket?
“Thank you for taking me out. It’s been nice not having to think about the press swarming us. I love it out here,” she sighs, scanning the surrounding nature.
Fuck, I love you.
I wince and drag my hand over my neck. “We should, uh, probably get back on the road. We have a while to go until we hit Dixon, and I thought we might find a diner somewhere along the way for lunch?”
Her face lights up again, eyes sparkling. “You look like you want to kiss me again?”
Her magnetic smile coaxes mine back out. “I’m fucking dying to.”
She gives me a look like ‘what the hell are you waiting for’ and I lean in to kiss her. When we pull back, she looks at me strangely, brows furrowed before she coughs, turning to put on her helmet.
“Well then, better hit the road if we wanna make lunch.” She smiles, but it feels almost strained. Did I do something wrong?
We fall into our routine of getting on the bike, me first, then her, as she wraps her arms around me just as tight as before. Maybe I imagined it.
The internet was right. The sights along the run are breathtaking, from the rock formations to the river as it passes around us. We even stopped to take a photo at one of the lookouts. Holding my phone up to capture a few selfies of us wrapped in each other’s arms before we continue, not stopping until we hit a brewery just outside of Byron.
We take some outside tables overlooking the river, thanking the server as she takes our order: a wood-fired sausage pizza and two of whatever beer is most popular.
“Did you know the Rock River is part of the Mississippi?” I ask as we watch two children play wrestle with each other on the riverbank, their parents nearby trying to enjoy their meal.
“What?” she scoffs, the sound causing some of the head of her beer to fly out. Giggling, she wipes her mouth with the back of her hand. “Sorry. That was random.”
“Is it really random if we’re staring at the river?” She rolls her eyes, but her smile doesn’t fade. “Yeah, it’s a tributary for the Mississippi.”
“Tributary, like I volunteer as tribute ?”
I chuckle. “Basically,” taking a sip of my beer, “it’s a river that flows into another larger river or lake. So I guess your analogy is pretty accurate.” She fist pumps the air as if she just scored a goal and my heart skips.
“So, you’re not just a pretty face?” she asks and this smiling thing is becoming too much of a habit when she’s around.
“Well…”
“Ha! We all know how hot you are, Wills,” she jokes but blushes and I can’t resist touching her. The fifteen minutes we’ve been off my bike for feels too long.
I reach over, interlacing our fingers together. “Well, I was going to say that I only learned that when I researched places to take you.”
This time, it’s her turn to burst out laughing. She winces when she realizes how loud she is, looking around mouthing, “sorry,” to the other patrons before her eyes move back to me, her smile growing again.
Our pizza arrives and we spend the next hour getting lost in conversation. Tilly is so expressive with the way she explains things. I’ve never met anyone like her. By the time we’re ready to leave, I feel like I’ve known her for years and not just months.
As we get ready to go, a few guys come over to us. Immediately tensing, I move to put myself between her and the strangers.
“I’m sorry to interrupt, I know you were just heading out, but I couldn’t not come and say hi.” When I reach out to Tilly, I brace myself for a fight, but her hand on my arm makes me pause.
She effortlessly moves around me, greeting the stranger, slipping straight into her rockstar persona. I stand in awe at how captivating she is; she doesn’t know these people, yet she greets them like old friends, signing their shirts and making them feel seen and welcome, even if they’re interrupting our date.
“Dude!” Another guy springs up behind the first. He roughly grabs at Tilly’s arm and she winces.
Maneuvering her behind me, I shove the guy back. He slams into the table behind him, plates rattling and patrons gasping.
“You better back the fuck up from my girl.” The tone in my voice clearly conveys my capacity of fucks to give with their shit.
“Hey, yo, relax, man. We just wanted to say hi.” The shorter of the men steps up, patting my chest. The smell of beer wafts from his breath as he tries to look around me at Tilly. “Your girl is mighty fine, though. You think you’d be willing to share her for the rest of the day? I haven’t been with a celebrity before.” The douche licks his lips and rubs his hands together like he just scored the jackpot of a lifetime.
“We’ll take real good care of her,” his friend pipes up.
With my level of fucks for the day now hitting zero, I can feel my patience shredding with every word that left their stupid mouths.
The first guy that spoke to us looks at me, recognition flashing in his eyes. “Wait, you’re the Hellhound’s D-man, yo dude.” He backs up, dragging his buddy with him. “We didn’t mean anything by it,” he says, his tone apologetic.
I continue to glare, but Tilly’s warm hand slides into mine as she pulls me towards the door.
Before we make it outside, we can hear the voices of one of the guys. “What the hell were you thinking? That guy would’ve fucked you up. You’ve seen him on the ice.”
I smile.
“What the hell was that?” Tilly stands next to my bike, arms firmly planted on her hips. Oh, she’s pissed, but so am I. When I don’t answer, continuing to get my gear on, she fumes. “This is my job and they,” she points back at the bar, “they were fans. They weren’t going to hurt me.”
I grab her hand, turning it over as I pull up her sleeve. The red mark that’s already turning into a bruise makes my skin boil. I look at her questioningly but don’t open my mouth, worried about the anger that could come with it. That stops her. She opens and then closes her mouth, trying to think of something to say, but coming up short.
“It’s my job, Rook. People will stop me on the street, they will want my time. You can’t lose your shit when they do. People think they know me, that they have a right to my time.”
“Well, they shouldn’t!” I yell, and she jumps slightly before recovering. “No one has any right to you.”
“What about you?” she asks with a hint of uncertainty.
“What about me?”
“Do you have a right to me?”
Do I want her? Fuck yes. Is it my right? No. If she let me have her, I would spend my life giving her anything she could ever ask for, but I would never force her to do anything she doesn’t want to do.
I snatch my helmet off the bike as she continues.
“Fuck Rook. What the hell is this? We have been screwing around for months. You basically just stood up in front of a restaurant full of people, beat on your chest and claimed me, and now what? Now it’s the two of us, you can’t say how you’re feeling? That maybe, just maybe, you like me?”
“Like? Fucking like ,” I scoff, throwing my helmet on the floor and stalk around the bike to her. Her mouth falls open as she stares at me. “ Like . Is that what I’m feeling, Othelia? Because it feels a hell of a lot more than like”
I crowd into her space, close enough that I can smell her vanilla and coconut shampoo, but I don’t touch her, not yet. “I think about you fucking constantly, even when it’s totally inconvenient. I smile every time I see your name light up my screen. Fuck, I feel like all I do is fucking smile now. Do you know how long it’s been since I fucking smiled ?”
She’s tearing up, still staring at me with big eyes and biting her lip. “Until you walked into my fucking barn, years, I went years with forcing shit out for the media. An actual fucking smile, though. I didn’t even think I was capable of it anymore. Now I can’t fucking stop.”
My chest feels so heavy and now that I’ve started, I can’t stop spilling everything.
“Every time you’re near me, I feel so fucking happy and content. Like all the shittiness of my day is just fucking gone. I constantly want to know what you’re doing, or if you’re okay. I want to message you way more than I actually do. Some days, I have to physically restrain myself from calling you. I dream about you, and I spend my whole day thinking up ways to make you fucking smile. It’s a damn good day if I can make you smile, especially that wide, carefree one. I fucking love that smile.”
“Rook…” Her face softens, and she places her hands on my chest. I’m practically vibrating, the force of my confession making my chest heave, but I grip onto her hands like the lifeline they are.
“Othelia James. I don’t think I’ve ever just liked you. I fucking love you!”
Her lips tilt and she gives me her favorite smile, then she stands on her tiptoes and whispers against my mouth.
“I love you too.”