Chapter 6
My heart wouldn’t stop racing. Everything Ketai did was alluring, like the way he was cutting into his steak, making the veins in his arm pop, had me ready to jump his bones.
I shifted in my seat and crossed my legs, trying to tamper the growing pulse in my center.
My desire to be close to him was nearly insatiable.
For our date, he was dressed casually in navy-blue trousers with a white, collared shirt that had green stripes around the collar, sleeves, and hemline.
The loafers on his feet brought his look together.
I admired the diamond earring in his ear and the gold jewelry on his neck and wrists.
Ketai had quiet wealth, the kind where you had to know a designer label to even clock that he was wearing the average person’s yearly salary in one outfit.
“So, I have to ask. How is a man like yourself single?” I blurted out, filling the silence between us.
He lifted his head before stuffing the steak in his mouth in the sexiest way. Was I ovulating? Why was I mesmerized by his every move? And to make matters worse, his raspy voice was so even and deep that it felt like velvet across my skin. Was agreeing to come on this date a good idea?
So far, Ketai was checking off every box on my list, and that terrified me.
I glanced around the terrace and knew the choice to come on this date was worth it though.
He’d put some thought into everything, and the way he carried himself intrigued me.
And he had a gentle spirit, which put me at ease around him.
I didn’t often have that level of peace with other men I’d gone on dates with.
“I honestly haven’t really prioritized dating. Like, I can meet a woman and begin getting to know her, but it always dies down. I always take that as a sign that it wasn’t meant to be. Eventually, I just shifted focus strictly to my business.”
“That means you believe in soul mates?”
He leaned back in his seat and nodded. I watched his fingers run through his thick beard, wishing that I could feel how soft it was. “I believe I have a person out there just for me. Like, you mean to tell me it’s a billion people on this Earth, and none of them could be a perfect match for me?”
I leaned forward, inclined to entertain his answer. “But nothing in life is perfect.”
He shook his head. “Nah, that’s not true.
God is perfect, and if we each have His spirit living inside of us, then that means, to some degree, we experience perfection through one another.
” I wanted to have something witty to say back to that, but I decided to stuff my mouth with shrimp instead.
He smirked, and I nearly choked on the food.
“What about you? What do you believe, beautiful?”
I nibbled on my bottom lip, wondering how to respond.
If I leaned toward the girl who’d recently gotten her heart toyed with again, my answer would contradict everything he said.
It would also be against the girl who always believed in love.
I settled for a simple answer that was somewhere between the truth and where I was currently in my belief journey.
“I believe that if you get to find your soulmate in your lifetime, you are one of God’s favorites.”
He nodded. “I can agree with that.”
Sitting back in my seat, I lifted my glass of champagne and took a seat. “This meal was really good. I have to come back here.”
“With me, I hope,” Tai said lowly.
“Only time will tell.”
“Why do you keep hesitating?” he questioned me while studying me intently. I had to look away from his gaze because it felt like he would find the answers if he kept looking long enough.
“What do you mean?”
He tapped his fingers on the table. “I don’t know.
Kinda feels like you’re holding back. Like you’re afraid to share the soft parts of you with me, afraid to actually acknowledge what we both feel growing between us.
” He leaned forward, sucking the air from my lungs as I held on to his every word.
“Like you’re afraid to find out that I’m nothing like the superficial, low-effort niggas you’re used to. ”
I swirled the liquid in my glass slowly. “Maybe because the last time I allowed myself to believe a man was different, it made my heart sick when my hope was deferred.”
A magnificent, blinding smile appeared on his face. “What about the rest of the scripture though? The part that says a longing fulfilled is a tree of life?”
I set my glass down on the table with a soft thud. “He knows the Word, huh?”
“Yeah, I love a good proverb. Live by them, actually. Now, answer my question. Could you open yourself up to the possibility of having your longing fulfilled?”
I sighed, thinking about how Luca ruined my favorite city in the world. I wasn’t ready to find out what was on the other side of exploring someone new. So, I answered honestly. “I don’t think so.”
Ever since I answered that question, the energy between us shifted. The car was filled with silence as Tai drove me back home. If I weren’t so distracted by being back in his passenger seat, I probably would’ve been deeper into my thoughts about it.
“You drive like a maniac!” I shouted when he shot through a light turning red.
He snorted. “Says the girl who had a banged-up hoopty in her driveway.”
My mouth snapped open. Not he was judging me. “Not too much on my baby, because I know how to drive.”
He shrugged. “Shit, me too.” His engine roared, and he pressed harder on the gas.
“Stanley, please slow down. You’re making me carsick.”
I sighed in relief when he eased up on the gas. We fell silent, allowing the music to fill the space. It was as if I wanted to say something, but what could I say? After sighing to settle the nausea I felt, I focused on the city blurring by in an array of light colors.
He finally pulled up outside my house. I wasn’t sure what to expect, but he took off his seatbelt and hopped out to open my door. After grabbing my bag of leftovers, he escorted me to my door like a gentleman and waited patiently for me to unlock the door.
“Well, I enjoyed getting to know you a little better tonight,” he said lowly.
I nodded. “Yes. I enjoyed myself, and the dinner was amazing.”
He scratched his eyebrow and lowered his head. After rubbing his jaw, he finally gave me his eyes again. He handed the bag to me, then I watched him shove his hands in his pockets and step backward. “Enjoy the rest of your night, beautiful.”
I gave him a close-mouthed smile. “Thanks. You too.”
After a few more seconds of awkwardly staring at each other, I rushed inside and pressed my back into the door.
I still felt the heaviness of things unsaid.
I was going to bury the little seeds of hope that began to grow again tonight because it was best. His engine roared outside, which alerted me to his departure.
Lifting my head, I released the breath I was holding and lifted from the door.
I convinced myself that I didn’t care if I never heard from him again.
I came back to the States to focus on myself, not fall in love with the first attractive man I happened to meet.