Chapter 23
I can’t believe it. Only a moment ago, I was looking at a picture of Vanessa on my phone.
Now here she is again, on Charlie’s screen. The only difference is, her hair’s shorter in this picture than I’ve ever seen her wear it—so he must have photographed her before I met either of them. But when? And why?
My mind’s still spinning as the blood drains from my boyfriend’s face. The rosiness I know him for is gone and, for a moment, he just blinks at me. “ You …know Vanessa?”
I nod, trying to temper my mounting anxiety, but no such luck. “I met her in art class. Her aunt is my teacher.” How do you know her, Charlie ? I want to ask again, but the words get stuck in my throat.
“Oh,” he says, sounding hopeful. “So you and Vanessa are just acquaintances, then?”
I shake my head. “I haven’t known her long, but we’ve already become close friends. She’s the one who encouraged me to go to therapy, and found Esther for me.”
“Hmm.” He purses his lips, and I try to make sense of the change in his expression, which seems more concerned now than thoughtful. “And you said her aunt is your art teacher? I thought Marie worked at a bank.”
“She retired,” I explain before my brain can process the significance of what Charlie just said.
When I do, my stomach churns. “Wait—you know Marie, too?”
He frowns.
At this point, the odds that Charlie and Vanessa are only casual acquaintances are not in my favor. They must have dated in the past. Maybe it was years ago.
But if it was years ago, why does Charlie look like he’s about to break my heart?
“Jenna,” he says, taking my hand. “Vanessa and I were engaged.”
My jaw drops. “ What ?”
I’m floored. Vanessa was engaged to my soulmate? How is that possible? She just left Nico at the altar. She never mentioned another broken engagement. “When did this happen?”
The color comes back to Charlie’s cheeks, but it’s not the happy flush I know and love. His eyes shy away from my gaze, embarrassed. “We were supposed to get married four months ago. But it didn’t work out.”
I pull my hand from his. “No,” I say flatly. “That’s impossible.”
This can’t be happening.
I replay every single conversation I’ve had with Vanessa in my head, searching for answers—but I come up empty .
“She told me she was engaged to a guy named Nico,” I say, a small part of me hoping this could all still be some big mistake we’ll laugh about later.
My boyfriend sighs. “I’m Charles Nicolas Sutton. My mom chose my middle name in memory of her dad, Nicolas St. Pierre, who passed away before I was born. He was Haitian?—”
“Like Vanessa,” I say, tears welling in my eyes. I remember Charlie telling me he was a quarter Black on his mother’s side, but he never mentioned his grandparent was from Haiti. The fact that he and Vanessa share this special connection stings my heart in the most unbearable way.
He nods. “My whole life, I went by Nico. It’s what my mom called me as a baby, and it stuck.
But after things ended with Vanessa, I knew I needed to make some big changes.
Start fresh. I didn’t want to be Nico anymore.
Nico was uninspired, unhappy—and down on his luck.
So I decided to go by my first name instead. ”
My vision is blurry.
Charlie is Nico.
I think back to the last time Vanessa mentioned him. We were at the wine bar, and she was upset because she’d gotten several missed calls from him. Sam and I were convinced he wanted her back.
What if we were right?
Earlier, when I asked if he’d been to Barcelona, Charlie frowned.
I thought maybe he’d missed an opportunity to travel there because of work.
But now I know the truth. If Vanessa hadn’t left him at the altar, he’d be there with her at this very moment—on their honeymoon.
Is that where he’d rather be? In Europe with Vanessa, instead of here with me?
I feel like I’m going to be sick. I’m terrified he’s still in love with her, but I don’t have it in me to ask him.
“She told me you’ve been calling her a lot,” is all I manage to say.
Charlie runs a hand over his face. “I have—but it’s not what you think. I’ve been calling to tell her I stayed in Chicago. She thought I was moving back to New York, and I didn’t want her to be surprised, in case we ran into each other.”
“I didn’t even know you’d lived in New York,” I say, completely bewildered.
Last night, I would have told you that I knew Charlie inside and out. Now I feel like I’m in bed with a stranger.
He sighs. “In the past nine years that I’ve worked for Sutton’s, my dad has sent me to six different cities. New York was one of them. I lived in Manhattan for a year. I met Vanessa my first week there, and we became friends, then…”
He flushes, and I spare him the discomfort of finishing the sentence. “One thing led to another,” I say, nodding.
“A year later, my dad announced he was moving me to Chicago,” Charlie goes on. “And when I broke the news to Vanessa, she proposed.”
“ She proposed?” I repeat, surprised. “I never knew that.”
“I was completely caught off guard. We were in a relationship, yes, but we hadn’t had a single conversation about marriage. I didn’t know how to respond. She was my best friend, and I did love her, but…” He looks at me with wistful eyes. “She wasn’t th e love I always dreamed of, Jenna.”
I take a ragged breath.
“But how long was I supposed to wait for you? It would be crazy to spend the rest of my life searching for someone I’d only ever met in my dreams, wouldn’t it?” He shrugs, looking defeated. “So, I said yes. And we moved to Chicago together.”
“And planned your wedding, and your future together,” I say, wiping my eyes.
“I was going through life on autopilot. Why else would I plan to marry someone I wasn’t head over heels in love with?”
It’s a rhetorical question, of course, but an answer comes to mind right away. Charlie told me, not too long ago, that he “aims to please.” Granted, we were talking about his skills in bed—but it’s obvious the sentiment applies to more than just his sex life.
Charlie Sutton is a people-pleaser. He doesn’t want to disappoint me. He certainly doesn’t want to disappoint his dad. Is it possible he’s so conflict-avoidant that he would walk down the aisle with the wrong person, rather than risk breaking their heart?
“Vanessa did me a huge favor when she ran out of that church,” he goes on as my thoughts continue to spiral. “Even though I was stunned at the time, there’s no doubt in my mind that she made the right decision.”
His words do nothing to alleviate the uneasy feeling in my gut. Right now, though, I’m more worried about his former fiancée’s feelings than my own.
“But…what about Vanessa? What if she’s having doubts?” The sadness in her eyes whenever she mentions him is unmistakable .
Charlie shakes his head. “What do you mean?”
“I’m…” My voice cracks, and I have to pause to collect myself.
“What?” he asks, his eyes troubled.
“I’m afraid she’s still in love with you,” I tell him over the sound of my hammering heart.
“She’s not, Jenna. Trust me. She loved me as a friend. Maybe she still does. But she was never in love with me. That’s why she called off the wedding.”
“But she left you to find the love of her life, right? Well, it’s been four months, and she hasn’t been on a single date. What if she hasn’t moved on?”
“I don’t know,” he replies. “That seems unlikely.” But he’d looked so sure before, and now that certainty is gone.
“If she does regret her decision,” I begin, “what kind of friend would that make me?”
A man-stealing vixen, like so many women assume I am when they look at me. But this time they’d be right.
“Even in the short time I’ve known Vanessa, she’s been the most loyal friend I’ve ever had.
She introduced me to her culture, her friends, and her family.
She took care of me when I was depressed.
She found me a therapist, and even drove me to my first session.
Charlie, she waited an hour and a half in her car, just to make sure I was okay afterward… ”
His brows knit together.
“I don’t know what to do,” I continue, through tears.
“We’re going to figure this out. I promise.” He kisses the top of my head, but the sweetness of his gesture only makes me sadder .
When I turn to him, I see the resolve in his eyes. His gaze is steady, and devoted, and reminds me of the way he looked at me last night, when we made love.
How did we get from there to here? I thought Charlie was my storybook happy ending. But now…
He’s Nico. My faithful friend’s ex-fiancé.
My lip quivers. “It’s so hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that, if Vanessa hadn’t decided to call off the wedding, you’d be her husband right now. You were going to marry her, Charlie…”
He runs a hand over his head. “Look, I’m not proud that it took being left at the altar for me to realize how complacent I was being in my life.
But I guess it was the wake-up call I needed.
Because the next morning, I picked up my camera again, Jenna—and it was the happiest I’d felt in ages.
And I was so high off that feeling that, when Vanessa texted me from her sister’s to ask about picking up her things from our apartment, I told her she could keep the place.
I was going to stay in a hotel for a few weeks while I wrapped things up at Sutton’s, and then I was going to quit.
I thought I’d move back to New York, and find work as a photographer?—”
I blink back more tears. “But you couldn’t do it. You couldn’t disappoint your dad.”
My boyfriend looks down at his lap, ashamed. When his eyes come back to mine, they’re pleading. “The timing wasn’t right. Just think—if I’d gone back to Manhattan, we never would have met. But I have no more excuses. I’m going to leave Sutton’s, Jenna. I promise. ”
I heave a sigh. “Are you sure? Or will you just continue settling?”