Chapter 26 Henri
Henri
Liam’s body curls around me as we tumble into the snow. A sound halfway between a sob and a laugh launches out of my shaking body.
“I’m here. I’m here and I’ve got you. You’re safe,” he soothes the both of us. A hand strokes my hair and pins me against his heaving chest. “Let’s get inside.”
He carries me the short distance back. Just as we reach the tree line, I look at the pond and all the thick floating chunks of ice bobbing along the surface.
I was so sure I was going to die there on the ice.
That Liam would come out and there would just be a hole where I disappeared, my body blue and stiff.
I stood as still as I could, praying for him to come.
I’m so stiff that when we get inside Liam has to help me unlace the skates.
They’re damp because even though he hauled me to safety, my legs took a solid dip into the unforgiving frigid water.
The fabric of my thick rainbow-striped pants clings to my skin, making it feel like a thousand little needles have been speared into my flesh.
“I thought the heat was working,” I get through the chattering of my teeth.
“Fuck, it is,” he grits out. “We need to get you warmed up. Can you walk?”
I shake my head and he carries me again, this time toward the bedroom. “I can’t feel my legs,” I admit as another sob wracks through me. Hot tears come, spilling from my eyes. “I was so scared. I waited for you and thought you’d never come.”
I screamed his name until my throat went raw. Even now it’s tight and I’m not sure if I’ll be able to speak tomorrow.
“I’ll always come for you. Always.” He nudges the door open with a knee and places me on the foot of my bed.
Pausing he swipes away my tears with his thumb.
“I’ve got you now.” Making quick work of my socks, he peels them off and tosses them to the side, each making a wet plop against the wood floor.
“I’m going to help you with your pants next, okay? ”
“Nothing you haven’t seen before,” I joke.
“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean I have the right to see it again.”
“Your help would be appreciated since they are essentially glued to me right now.”
It’s a team effort to work them off. Me, lifting my hips and holding myself into place. Liam, tugging so hard that when they do come free he stumbles back, having to catch his balance.
“Arms up,” he instructs and helps me out of my shirt. “Shit,” he hisses at the sight of the red splotches on pale skin. “Get in the bed.”
I do so as he exits the room and I can’t stop shivering. If I thought last night was bad, this is a whole new level. I feel the cold all the way to my bones, to the point that it almost feels like heat.
Liam comes back holding a pair of his boxers and a hoodie. “Here put these on. I’ll be right back.”
As I change I can’t help but appreciate that clean laundry scent that seems to cling to his clothes extra long. This time when he returns he’s holding a glass with . . .
“Is that whiskey?” I ask.
“Bourbon, but yeah. Warm you up from the inside out.” He hands it over.
I expect him to leave for good, but he pulls off his shirt.
“Body heat,” he explains. “I know you want nothing to do with me right now, and the only reason you were calling for me was because you didn’t have other options, but this is the best way to get you warmed up. It’s just like last night.”
“Yeah, last night.” Well, thinking of that sure does send heat rippling through me.
It felt like a dream, him carrying me and holding me close.
Then, when I did fall asleep, I dreamt of him—of us—having a repeat of what happened in the library.
He woke me up and I was all tangled around him with an ache between my thighs.
The moment he left to go skiing, I laid back down on those blankets and had to get myself off before I could think of anything else.
The bed dips as he slips in next to me and lifts me onto his lap, arms around my waist. Okay, yeah, I really need this bourbon.
I take a hearty sip and then another. It doesn’t take long for a nice fuzzy feeling to fill me.
I relax back, my head against Liam’s shoulder.
The adrenaline from nearly falling through the ice has evaporated and my bones feel heavy.
My eyelids droop and I hear the clink of ice as I fall asleep.
I’m back on the ice.
Kurt. Laura. Dad. They’re all there standing staring at me.
I shout, or at least try to, but no sound comes out.
They see me. I know they do, gazes locked on my shaking body.
I reach out, pleading. They turn their backs to me and walk away, leaving me to the fate of a frozen tomb, knowing that I wasn’t worth saving.
This time the ice splinters, water welcoming me into its greedy embrace. The sky goes dark, my limbs numb.
A shadow crosses above and a form breaks through the surface.
Liam.
He reaches out for me when no one else did. Pulling me out. Saving me.
“Yeah, I’m right here, baby. Not going anywhere.” Somewhere else, somewhere more real, hands rub heat into my skin.
I crack my lids open. He’s here. Real and warm. “What?”
He flushes. “I didn’t mean to wake you up, you were just starting to shiver again and said my name.”
I burrow closer. “Hand me the bourbon?”
“Here.” His hands leave me and it’s an effort to not whimper in protest since he’s literally just fulfilling my request. “Can I just explain about the money? You don’t need to like me after this. I want you to know why. Please.”
“I guess after you saved me, I can at least listen,” I say.
“I felt like shit after I learned that I put you in a bad spot, jeopardizing everything you worked for. It felt like my responsibility to fix everything, and I still think it was. Back then I hardly even knew you; I would have done the same for anyone in that position. I’m not going to apologize for that.
But I am sorry, though, that I wasn’t transparent about my methods.
I like knowing that you’re taken care of.
Fuck, I like being the one to take care of you.
” His arms tighten protectively around me.
“And, God, seeing you out there on the ice . . . I don’t think I’ve ever been so scared in my life. ”
My throat tightens and I tense. “I’m bad at this.
I don’t know how to let people in, Liam.
It’s hard to let people look after me because what if one day they stop and I’m reliant on them?
I’ve begged for people to show up for me before, people I trusted, and they blocked me out.
” Fresh tears roll down my cheeks, falling into the last dregs of my bourbon.
“This feels so good but that just means it’s going to hurt when it’s gone.
When you’re gone. Finding reasons to shove you away is easier than being close enough to feel my heart ripped out. ”
These years I haven’t walked around wanting to be close to someone, to be chosen. I’ve shrunk my life down as small as possible, and tricked myself into thinking that’s what’s best. It’s an effort to make enough room in my world for him, but one that might be worth it.
“I don’t want to go. Henri, you don’t have to break both of our hearts. There’s school breaks and planes and summers. We can make this work if we want to. If you need me, I’ll be there,” he promises and I believe him.
I believe that he’ll come for me the same way he did when I was on the ice. But that doesn’t change reality.
I shake my head. “Let’s not be careless with each other. I don’t want to resent you. I want to have all these memories with you and know that they’re good, because what happens when you have to choose between me and your family’s business, this legacy? It’s not going to be simple.”
His breath hitches. “But for now?”
“I can commit to right now. I can swear I’m yours until the moment I’m on that damn airplane.” No more running. I will only have this with him once and I’m not going to be a coward about it. It’s going to hurt, but I’d rather have that pain than not have him at all.
“Then you’re mine. Right here. Right now.”
Twisting in his arms, I plant a kiss on the corner of his mouth. He captures the nape of my neck, fingers threading through my hair. Somehow, I manage to reach out and find the nightstand to set down the glass in my hand. He drags me up his lap and I moan as he hardens under me.
“Fuck. I had a dream like this last night,” I tell him as nips at the skin at the juncture of my neck.
“Yeah, I had that impression.”
“What?”
“Why else do you think I was trying to escape?” He laughs. “I’m all for getting you off but I want to make sure you’re awake and consenting.”
“And if I want you to right now?”
His brows raise. “Are you sure you’re up to it?”
I lock my hips against his. “Seems like a good way to raise my core temperature.”
“Shit, woman, you’re a fucking menace,” he says with a grunt, flipping us over so I’m on my back and he’s hovering over me.
My legs wrap around him as his smiling mouth claims my lips. Reaching down, I palm him through his pants. This. All of this is mine, and I’m not going to back down.
He breaks away, giving me a clear view of how his irises have blown wide enough to swallow the hazel of his eyes. “Do you trust me?”
I answer without having to think. “Yes.”
“Let me take control.” His hand dips under the hem of his sweater that I’m wearing, stroking the soft skin there. “You don’t need to think. You can turn off that brilliant brain of yours and just let me show you how fucking obsessed I am with you.”
“I thought that’s exactly what you were already doing.” I cock a brow.
“My way would mean you can’t touch me. Or see me.”
“Show me.”
He gets up, giving me a full view of the erection tenting his sweatpants as he goes into the hall. When he returns, there’s a bundle of scarves in his hands.
“What do you say if you need to tap out?” he asks.
“Stop.”
“Good girl.” With those words, he grabs my ankle.