Chapter 37
37
ROWENA
Twenty-two weeks pregnant
I sit on the living room floor of my old apartment, the voluminous skirt of my wedding dress splayed around me like a deflated jellyfish. Nina and Hunter lounge beside me in their champagne bridesmaid gowns as we eat leftover treats from the desserts buffet. We sent Dylan home with Tristan and are having an emergency girls’ night. It feels good to be back to being just the three of us. Even if my former roommates keep exchanging worried glances as I take a giant bite out of a chocolate cupcake.
The rich frosting coats my tongue and I let out a heavy sigh. “You were right,” I mumble through the mouthful of cake. “I’m in over my head.”
Nina raises an eyebrow. “What do you mean, Winnie? Talk to us.”
Hunter nods emphatically, leaning in closer. “We’re here for you, always. ”
Tears prickle at the corners of my eyes and I blink rapidly. Not again. I’ve cried enough today to fill a small pond.
“Can we just… not talk about it right now?” My voice wavers. “I need a distraction. A night of silliness with my best friends and an obscene amount of sugar.”
Nina and Hunter exchange another look, seeming to have an entire conversation with just their eyes. Finally, Nina grins.
Soon we’re all up, twirling and leaping around the living room in our fancy dresses like sugar-high princesses. Our laughter reverberates off the walls as we dance to cheesy pop songs and stuff our faces with éclairs and cream puffs.
For a brief, shining moment, I forget about the heavy weight in my chest. I lose myself in the pure joy of being with my best friends, knowing that whatever comes next, I’ll always have them in my life.
Hours later, we’re watching the third Scream movie after starting a marathon. As Ghostface chases his next victim across the TV screen, I glance over at Nina and Hunter sprawled on either side of me. Their hair is wild, makeup smeared, bridesmaid dresses hopelessly wrinkled. Both out cold, snoring softly.
I smile, snuggling deeper into the couch cushions and letting my own eyes drift shut. Nineties slasher movies and a sugar crash—the perfect recipe to keep my spiraling thoughts at bay. At least for tonight.
Unfortunately, I can’t exile Dylan for more than a night, so eventually, on Sunday, I have to creep back into Adrian’s penthouse. I time my arrival with the hour of the day he usually works out, and I luck out—he’s in the home gym. I grab provisions from the fridge and water reserves and hole myself up in my bedroom.
He knocks on my door later that evening, a hesitant rap of knuckles against wood. I bury my face in the pillow, waiting motionless until his footsteps retreat.
Over the next week, I keep up the same avoidance tactics. My phone buzzes with his texts. Everything okay? Just checking in. Let me know if you need anything . I type back quick replies full of forced cheer.
But we can’t avoid each other forever. The following Sunday, we have to leave for California—together supposedly. So that morning, I slink into the kitchen, praying our first meeting after the day we got married won’t be too awkward.
Adrian sits at the island, jaw tight, hands wrapped around a mug of coffee.
Our eyes meet and he quirks an eyebrow at me coolly. “Morning.”
After a week of radio silence, even if it’s my fault, his curt greeting cuts like a knife.
“Hey,” I mumble, yanking open the fridge to avoid his penetrating gaze. I rummage through the shelves, not really seeing anything. Why does he have to look so irritatingly handsome even at this ungodly hour?
“Have you packed yet?” His clipped tone makes me wince.
I emerge from the fridge empty-handed. “Actually, I was thinking… you don’t need to come with me to California. I’m a grown woman, I’ll be fine on my own. I know how busy you are with work and?—”
“Don’t be ridiculous, Rowena.” Adrian sets his mug down with a thud, his eyes flashing. “Of course I’m coming. Sam will be here in an hour to drive us to the airport.”
I turn to argue, but his stormy expression makes me rethink. Shoulders slumping, stomach empty, I trudge back to my room, so looking forward to a long, awkward trip. Who wouldn’t want to be trapped for six hours on a plane next to their infuriatingly gorgeous, emotionally unavailable, simmering-with-anger fake husband?
An hour later, I’m wedged into the backseat of Adrian’s sleek car, wishing I could crawl out of my skin. Sam keeps glancing at us in the rearview mirror, clearly picking up on the icy vibes. I stare out the window, counting the minutes until we reach the airport.
The flight proves even worse—endless hours of suffocating silence broken only by the occasional rustle from Adrian as he types on his laptop. I bury my nose in a book, not really paying attention to the story but determined to survive this excruciating silence without talking first. By the time we begin our descent and the patchwork of landscape below draws near, I’m ready to hole up in my hotel room and cry myself to sleep.
In El Segundo, Adrian tersely checks us into the rooms he’s booked. Separate, but adjoining. I can’t meet his eyes as we ride the elevator up.
“Well, I’m pretty beat,” I mumble when we reach our doors. “I think I’ll just rest…”
I pass the keycard over the contact reader, eager to escape. The lock opens with a bleep and I walk in, flicking on the lights.
“See you tomorrow?” I move to close the door without waiting for an answer, but Adrian’s foot blocks it from shutting.
I instinctively take a step back as he pushes in, brows furrowed. “What’s going on? You haven’t been the same since the wedding. You can’t avoid me forever.”
I avert my gaze, staring at the bland hotel artwork on the wall. “It’s nothing. I’m fine.”
Adrian sighs heavily. “Do you hate being married to me that much?”
Something inside me snaps. Tears sting at my eyes as I whirl to face him. “Yes! I hate it. I fucking loathe it.”
His eyes widen. “What did I do?”
“Nothing. You never do anything. And I hate being married to you because it’s not real!” The words explode out of me, my voice rising. “What you said in your vows… it was everything I’ve ever wanted to hear— from you . But you didn’t mean a word of it, did you? It’s all just an act to you.”
For an endless moment, Adrian stares at me in stunned silence, his anger evaporating. Then he steps fully into the room, letting the door close behind him with a soft thud. In two long strides, he’s right in front of me, cupping my face in his warm hands. His dark eyes bore into mine.
“Rowena, listen to me. I meant every single word I said in my vows. Every. Single. Word.” He says this in that bring-you-to-your-knees voice. I stand no chance.
I search his handsome face, my mind reeling. “But then why do you always turn me down when I try to get close to you? Why do you keep me at arm’s length?”
His jaw sets with determination. “Because before I let anything happen, I want to prove to you, and to myself, that I can be in a committed relationship without making my partner feel neglected or unimportant. I know I get caught up in work, but I never want you to feel abandoned because of it, like my past partners did. I need to show that I can be there for you, emotionally, before anything physical happens between us.”
Tears spill down my cheeks but for the first time in weeks, they are tears of joy and relief. A smile tugs at my lips. “Adrian, you’ve been more present and supportive of me these past three months than Liam ever was in our entire relationship. Don’t you see that?”
His thumbs swipe the tears from my cheeks. A soft smile plays on his lips as he gazes at me with an expression of pure adoration that makes my heart soar. And I feel horrible for the way I’ve treated him since the wedding.
“I’m sorry for bailing. My emotions got the better of me and I just couldn’t cope.”
“It’s okay.”
“No, it’s not.” I take his hands in mine. “Now I’m going to tell you something and I need you to listen to me.”
He nods, so I go on. “I understand your commitment to your job, Adrian, and I don’t resent it. Especially after what you shared about your father not being able to provide financial stability for your family growing up. I get it, because I can be the same way—swept up in my work, losing myself in a project for days on end.” I reach up to caress his cheek, feeling the slight stubble beneath my palm. “And that’s why we work so well together. We both need a partner who understands that drive and doesn’t begrudge the long hours. Someone who encourages our ambitions but also reminds us to come up for air. You are enough, you’re more than enough, you’re everything I ever wanted.”
Adrian leans into my touch, his eyes fluttering closed for a moment. When they open again, the naked honesty in his gaze, both fierce and vulnerable, makes time stand still. “ Rowena, you’re everything I never knew I wanted. Everything I never knew I needed .”
A serene calmness envelops me. I rise on my toes, lacing my fingers behind his neck to pull his mouth down to mine in a kiss—no doubts in my mind that this time he won’t push me away.
Adrian’s strong arms band around my waist, crushing me against the hard planes of his body.
A whimper escapes my throat as my lips part. Pulling back, Adrian scoops me up, carrying me to the bed wedding-night style.
I joke about it. “Trying to make up for a missing wedding night?”
A wicked smile parts his lips. “I’ve heard honeymoon sex is even better.”