Chapter Twenty
I can’t get the way she looked at me out of my head.
There was heat and longing and lust, but deeper than that, there was vulnerability. She was open, her eyes clear and damn, I want to cherish it.
With everything she has been through, Juni has every right to shut everyone away, but when we were close in the kitchen, when I was about to kiss her, consequences be damned, she looked ready and open.
She wears her heart on her sleeve, shows the whole world every raw part of her, even though they don’t deserve it.
I want Juniper Scott.
I want everything that comes with her, too.
Scrubbing a hand down my face, I look to where she is mounted on the back of Loni, a smile stretching her mouth wide as she rides the mare around the exercise ring, her body at ease, natural on the back of a horse.
I am so fucked.
A whistle cuts through my thoughts, and I snap my eyes to my brother. “I know that look.” He says by way of greeting.
“The fuck are you talking about?” I grunt.
“When are you going to tell her?” He asks, coming to a stop at my side and mimics my position, leaning his forearms on the fence.
I shouldn’t be watching her, not when I’m in training with Dottie, but the filly is doing better than I had expected, so an hour off won’t hurt her.
Plus, she’s currently tearing up the pasture she’s in, winding up the horses in the neighboring field so she’ll hardly miss my company.
“Tell her what?” I snap at him, my patience on thin ice.
He gives me a look that only older siblings can perfect. The don’t fucking bullshit me look.
“Nothing to tell,” I continue. “She’s leaving eventually.”
“That what she tell you?” He asks.
“It’s why she’s working as hard as she is, here and at the bar.”
“Saving money,” he nods, “You ever stop to think that maybe she needs a reason to stay?”
I flick my eyes to him and shake my head, “You’re going soft.”
He barks out a laugh, “Women will do that.”
My lip curls. “Not quite the experience I had.”
With a wince, he turns his attention away from the blonde on the back of a horse and to me, “Is it so bad to move on?”
I breathe a sigh, “Some things you never get over, Roman. Juni isn’t sticking around, and maybe that’s for the best. I won’t be good for her, and that woman deserves more than that.”
Roman clucks his tongue, “Can’t say I agree with you, brother.”
“I don’t need you to agree with me.” I push away from the fence and head toward the stables where Mars is being groomed. “I’m stating facts.”
And I am right; Juniper does deserve more than what I can offer.
Sure, she’s stirring up feelings I wasn’t sure I was capable of anymore, but that doesn’t mean I am what she needs.
I am far from it. I can want her, I can even act on that need, kiss her the way I want, touch her, feel her, but that doesn’t change who I am.
I was burned and now I’m damaged. I couldn’t give her the love or life that she needs and will eventually crave.
I am not capable of loving another woman, and when she eventually realizes that, she’ll leave me too.
I am not in the business of having my heart broken a second time. That shit hurts.
I throw all the pillows and blankets into the bed of the truck along with the cooler that includes snacks and drinks. We’ll be spending a couple of hours up in the clearing to watch the stars fall, and I know my kids. Twenty minutes in, they’ll be complaining they’re hungry.
I swear they’ll eat me out of house and home one day.
“Are we ready?” I call once I step back into the house, grabbing their summer coats from the hooks. The air is still warm, but further up the mountain a chill will set in, and I like to be prepared.
“Coming!” Rosie yells first, dressed in her pajamas with a stuffed bear tucked under her arm and hair in two braids.
“Look, Dad, Juni did my hair!” She swings her head around, the braids whipping around her face.
She shows me the little flower clips that have been tucked into her blonde strands, the braids neat and tight. “Do you love them?” She asks.
“They’re beautiful, bug,” I tug one of them, “You look like a flower princess.”
My little girl lights up, “I do!?”
“Of course,” I tap her chin. “Are you ready to go?”
“I’m ready!”
Caleb comes in next, a metal case clasped in his hand. “Can you set up my telescope?” He asks.
“When we get there,” I confirm, “where’s Juni?”
“Here,” She pads out of her bedroom, her long blonde hair bundled into a messy bun on top of her head and in an oversized long-sleeved t-shirt that she has tied up around her waist to show a slither of skin above tight yoga pants.
My mouth goes dry as I take her in, staring entirely too hard at the way those pants mold to the muscles of her thighs.
She turns to grab a few things from the living room, and I almost burst a blood vessel.
Fuck me. The way those pants cling to her ass, tucking up and under the creases of her cheeks…
“Ready,” she turns back to me, and I give myself whiplash turning away.
Rubbing the back of my neck, I feel the heat in my cheeks and jerk my chin for her to go first. Probably not the best idea to have her right in front of me again, but I am not thinking clearly when all I am imagining is my hands on that ass as I move her up and down my cock.
Jesus fucking Christ.
She’d look so fucking pretty riding me.
“Do you have a headache?” She frowns up at me before she reaches forward and smooths her finger between my brows, loosening the crease that’s formed there.
“No,” My voice comes out harsh and rough, but I’m trying really damn hard to will my cock not to get a hard-on at the mere fantasy of having Juni naked and on me.
“What’s wrong?” She asks, slowly bringing her hand away. We have an audience with Caleb and Rosie waiting by the front door. I’d send them out to the truck, but I don’t want them out there alone since we still do not know who was sneaking around the ranch last night.
“I’m okay,” I clear my throat. “We should get going. We don’t want to miss the start.”
Her dark eyes bounce around my face for a second, but then she turns and ushers the kids outside, and I follow, locking up behind me. I get Rosie into her car seat and make sure Caleb is all strapped up before I climb in behind the wheel, Juni slipping in beside me.
It only takes us twenty minutes to get up to the clearing in the mountains, an open meadow where a stream runs through, the water crystal clear and reflecting the moonlight as it flows down the mountain.
It falls into a larger river that then goes to the falls that sit on the ranch.
It is part of the reason the ranch got its name, fed by the snow that melts off the peaks and the springs.
I pull the truck to a stop in the middle of the clearing and cut the engine and lights.
The night is clear, stars blanketing the dark sky like twinkling lights embedded in velvet, and once we step out of the truck, the sound of the mountains reaches my ears.
It’s water bubbling over rocks, crickets chirping in long grass as elk move through the surrounding trees.
If we are really quiet, we may even spot a few.
I’ve of course brought precautions in case we get any other visitors.
Bears and wolves move through these parts, and it wouldn’t be the first time I’ve encountered one.
I get all the blankets laid out in the truck's bed, creating a soft mattress with them and then situate the pillows for people to rest against. “Up we go,” I first lift Rosie and watch her crawl into place, and then Caleb, but neither of them go into the middle like I expect them to.
Instead, they stick to the side where Caleb is getting out the equipment for his telescope.
“Need a boost?” I turn to Juni, who is staring up at the stars in awe.
“I’ve got it,” she smiles at me before she hops up into the truck, shuffling to the other edge, which leaves the middle for me. I had hoped for the buffer of my kids between us, but they’re too interested in the stars and the telescope to give me what I want.
With a steadying breath, I join them, coming to sit in the middle before I reach for the telescope Caleb is struggling with. I get all the bits clipped into place and then attach it to the stand, but Caleb does the rest, adjusting the lens and angle so he can see what he wants in the sky.
Glancing at Juni, I see she’s made herself comfortable, lying on her back, propped against a bundle of cushions. The stars reflect in her eyes, a gentle smile tilting up her pretty mouth.
“This is incredible,” she whispers as if afraid anything louder might scare the stars away.
I settle beside her, putting my hands behind my head to see what she’s seeing.
It never gets old watching the stars like this.
I’ve done it since I was a kid, and brought my kids to do it the moment they were old enough to know what they were looking at.
My ex never enjoyed coming, got bored too quickly, so she always stayed behind.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many stars in my life,” she laughs lightly, looking at each visible constellation.
“You don’t get this in the city,” I reply. “Sad place to be when you can’t see the stars.”
“It makes you feel small,” she says, “seeing them like this. There’s so much space up there; we’re really just tiny dots in comparison.”
I turn to trace her features: the delicate slope of her nose, her pouty lips, and the freckles that match the stars above. Sensing my attention, she turns to me, meeting my eyes.
“Thank you for bringing me,” She whispers, “It’s beautiful.”
“It is,” I reply, but I’m not talking about the stars, and the pink tinge that brightens her cheeks tells me she knows it too.
Her eyes drop to my mouth before her tongue slips out to wet her bottom lip.
Fuck.
She told me revisiting our moment back in the kitchen was a bad idea, and she was right. I don’t give a fuck though. I can’t have forever with this woman, but I can have right now. I can have the hours and the minutes before she leaves me to go get the life she deserves.
“Look!” Rosie hollers. “The stars are falling!”
We both turn our attention back to the sky, catching the tail of the first meteorite. A gasp sounds beside me as another shoots across the dark, and then another, until they’re coming quicker, lighting up the sky in bright bursts of white.
Rosie, Caleb and Juni all watch the stars, but I’m not looking at the sky. I’m looking at her.