Chapter Thirty-six
“Can we stay here tonight?” Caleb asks Silas just as we’re about to leave to head home for the night.
“Here?” Silas frowns.
“Me and Rosie were using the telescope. Uncle Rome said it was okay that we stayed a bit longer.”
“I can bring them to you in the morning,” Roman leans on the doorframe, “Before you need to take them to Beth’s.”
“I mean, sure,” Silas shrugs, “if you want. You still got spare clothes for them?”
“All away upstairs,” Roman confirms. “Go home. Have an evening off. I’ve got them.”
Silas reaches for my hand, “Alright. I need them by eight, though.”
“I’ve got it, now go.”
I laugh at the way Roman rolls his eyes at his brother.
“Niamh knows about this?” Silas hovers.
“I do!” She yells from the kitchen, “And I’m making us ice cream floats. There’s not enough for you, so you'd best go.”
“Rude,” Silas grumbles.
“Night, brother. Juni,” Roman dips his chin, gathers up the kids and guides them to the kitchen, leaving us to show ourselves out.
The walk back to the house is slow but peaceful, the gravel crunching under my feet, a gentle breeze making the branches dance.
“Did you hear from Darcy about those injured horses?” I ask.
“She texted earlier, confirmed they’re all responding to the medicine, but she’ll know more come morning. It’s a waiting game.”
I nod, hoping they all pull through.
Back at the house, Silas unlocks the front door and guides me inside and I head straight for my bedroom so I can grab some clean clothes and shower.
My skin feels tight from how much I was sweating today.
The sun had been ruthless, and we spent so much time under it unloading those horses that I’m desperate to wash it away and get some aloe on the pinkened skin on my shoulders.
Pushing open the door, I reach for the light switch, hearing Silas behind me getting himself changed, but once the room is lit up, I freeze.
I’m not sure what I’m looking at. Glass is scattered over the floor, and a huge rock is sitting in the middle of the bed, a piece of paper attached to it with a piece of string.
The window itself is smashed, a giant hole in the middle where the rock must have come through.
“Silas!” I yell, staring at the bed like I could change the scene in front of me.
Who the hell would do this? Why would they do this?
Silas steps up behind me. I feel his warmth press against my spine, but then his body goes stiff as he sees what I am seeing.
“Stay here,” he orders sternly, pushing me out of the room while he enters, heading for the rock with the note on the bed. He tears off the note and unfolds the paper, eyes moving over whatever is on it.
A muscle in his jaw pops as he continues to stare.
“What is it?” I step closer.
“Don’t,” he flicks his eyes to me.
“Silas, what is it?”
His throat works on a swallow, and he folds the piece of paper up so I can’t see what’s on it.
“Don’t hide it from me,” I tilt my chin up, “I can take it.”
His eyes close, his anger a living, breathing thing that sizzles in the air between us. He holds out the folded piece of paper, waiting for me to take it.
Reaching forward, my hand trembles, but I force myself to take it and unfold the paper.
For a minute, I’m not sure what the hell I’m even seeing. The photo is black and white, a little grainy, but then I recognize the two people in it. It’s Silas and me, back in the tack room at the stables. I’m completely naked, my face on full display while Silas is fucking me against the door.
And underneath the photo, there’s a message, written out by letters cut from magazines.
Whore. It says.
You belong to me. Come home, Juni, before I make you regret ever leaving me.
Calvin.
“How?” I swallow, nausea churning in my gut, “He’s in jail.”
Silas rips his cell from his pocket, pressing the screen angrily until he finds what he’s looking for and then puts it to his ear. I hear the tinny sound of the call, and then a deep male voice answers.
“Tell me you didn’t let him go,” Silas growls to whoever is on the phone. He waits for a moment, the voice answering. “What the hell do you mean, who? Calvin Scott.”
His eyes meet mine as he listens, molten and swirling.
“This is on your head,” he growls into the speaker, “I need a deputy here. Now.”
He hangs up before they can get another word in and is in front of me in the next second.
His hands cup my face.
“They let him go,” I whisper, knowing without him saying a word to confirm it.
“Someone posted his bail. He was released three hours ago.”
“How did he get this photo?” I squeak.
“I don’t know,” he lets me go and shoves a hand through his hair, “I cleared the footage. No one saw it.”
“He broke your window.” I blink quickly to clear the water rising in my eyes.
“Fuck the window,” he growls. “He will not get anywhere near you.”
I’m quietly thankful that the kids aren’t here to see this. It’s one thing that he was here taunting me all those weeks ago; it’s another that he’s damaged their home and has pictures like this of me. What is he going to do with them? Who is he going to show?
“I shouldn’t have stayed,” I swallow thickly, the words burning as they come out.
“Don’t say that,” Silas snaps angrily, his tone making me flinch. I watch his whole body crumble when he sees it, his hands immediately going up. “I’m sorry, Honeybee, I didn’t—I shouldn’t have raised my voice.”
“I’m okay,” I whisper. I know it’s because I’m spooked and not because of him. I’d be angry too if someone had just damaged my home.
This is my home.
A tear spills over and slips down my cheek.
“I did this, Silas,” I hiccup, “This is my fault. If I hadn’t come here, he never would have either.”
“Juni, baby,” Silas steps up, slow and cautious, and when I don’t bolt, he pulls me into him. “When I told you I loved you, that meant all of you. Your past. Your present and whatever comes in the future.”
“What if Rosie and Caleb were here?” I shake my head, swatting at the tears, hating that he’s the cause of them, again.
“They weren’t,” he says, “We’re not doing what-ifs, Juni. They weren’t here and you’re not leaving. I have you. I won’t leave you.”
My forehead hits his chest, and his arms come around me, so tight as if to hold all those broken pieces together.
“A deputy will be here soon. We need to provide this as evidence, but I’m going to remove the photo, okay?”
“Don’t they need it?” I mumble.
“Fuck no,” he growls. “And even if they did, they can manage without it.”
“Okay.”
“I’m sorry,” he sighs, “I never should have done that in the tack room. It was careless.”
“It’s not your fault.”
Silas ushers me out of the room and into his, settling me on his bed before he heads back across the hall to grab me the clothes I’d initially gone in there for. When he returns, he places them down and then goes into the bathroom to get the shower started.
“I’ll handle it,” he promises me, leaving me to shower and change. I hear a car pull up outside, but I don’t go to see who it is and instead strip down and lock myself in the bathroom.
I don’t understand how he was allowed bail or who would bail him out.
I suppose he could have called on his family, though they spoke little.
A sigh leaves me as the water runs over my head, wetting my hair, but I just let it run down my face, not moving to wash it or my body.
It’s cleansing, and I pretend it’s enough, just for the moment to wash away how sick I feel.
Calvin completely shattered all boundaries; he’s invaded my privacy, exposed me in the most vulnerable position.
How many times did he look at that image?
I am disgusted.
I don’t know how long I remain in the shower, but when I come out, pink-skinned and tired, Silas is sitting on the edge of the bed, his forearms resting on his thighs as his head hangs between his shoulders.
When he looks up at me, I see the torture right there in his eyes. He’s hurting.
Forgetting my own pain, I rush to him, dropping to my knees between his feet and grasp his hands.
“Please don’t leave,” his voice scratches from his throat, his eyes glazed when they meet mine.
I feel my lower lip wobble. “I don’t know if I could even if I wanted to, and maybe that’s selfish of me.”
“Be selfish,” he begs, “Please.”
“I love you,” I lift onto my knees and press my mouth to his. His hands go to cup my cheeks, holding me to him desperately as if I am slipping through his fingers like sand.
“I won’t leave,” I promise, “I can’t leave.”
He breaks the kiss and presses his brow to mine, relaxing now that I’ve promised to stay.
“I handed the note in,” he says eventually, and reaches into his pocket for the image of us, torn straight off the note. He hands it to me. “They’re putting out a search for him. He was last spotted leaving town and hasn’t been seen since.”
“But he left town?”
“According to the department, yes.”
It doesn’t ease all my anxiety, but it eases enough that I’m able to take a clear breath.
“They think he likely came here on his way out, hoping to scare you into going back to him.”
“It didn’t work,” I assure him.
“I know,” he gives me an attempt at a smile, “Get some rest, Juni.” He reaches for my hand and closes my fingers around the scrunched-up photograph.
“Where are you going?”
“Not far, I just need a minute.”
“Okay.” I breathe, watching him stand and leave, pulling the door up but not closed.
I change quickly and then braid my hair while it’s still wet before I pull back the sheets and climb into the bed that smells like a mix of both of us.
Sweet and spicy, a heady, comforting smell that wraps me up like a warm embrace, but sleep doesn’t come.
And neither does Silas.